We Can Choose A Better Way

Matthew 1:18–25 NRSV

18 Now the birth of Jesus the Messiah took place in this way. When his mother Mary had been engaged to Joseph, but before they lived together, she was found to be with child from the Holy Spirit. 19 Her husband Joseph, being a righteous man and unwilling to expose her to public disgrace, planned to dismiss her quietly. 20 But just when he had resolved to do this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife, for the child conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. 21 She will bear a son, and you are to name him Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.” 22 All this took place to fulfill what had been spoken by the Lord through the prophet: 23 “Look, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and they shall name him Emmanuel,” which means, “God is with us.” 24 When Joseph awoke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him; he took her as his wife, 25 but had no marital relations with her until she had borne a son; and he named him Jesus.

Let’s talk about Joseph

I’m sure I’ve mentioned this before, but one of our family’s favorite Christmas movies is called “The Star.” It’s a cartoon telling of the Christmas story, full of musical numbers and funny adventures with donkeys and pigeons and camels and the holy family. It tells the story of the birth of the Christ child as it might have been experienced during their journey from Nazareth to Bethlehem. It’s fun and rich with the joy and hope of this gospel text.

I really appreciate how the portray Joseph in the movie. He’s not just a side character, as he sometimes seems. He’s in the thick of it with Mary, helping her ride the donkey through treacherous territories, navigating the complexities of supporting a pregnant women while being very uncertain of what he was meant to do in participation with her process.

I think about being a father, and specifically about the 9 months of preparation that came before the birth of my son. If you’ve walked alongside a pregnant woman before, you know that this can be a time of great joy, but also stunning complexity around what is what, how to be a help and not get in the way, how to support amidst all the changes and ups and downs that pregnancy entails. I wonder at what it would be like to experience this with the added complexity of it not being my child, but a child from God on high. How would I experience this? What would I feel compelled to do and what would I need to resist doing?

In The Star, Mary arrives to Joseph’s home for an engagement celebration after being with her cousin Elizabeth for a number of months. She dismounts the donkey and Joseph’s eyes widen as he sees her pregnant belly. Think about the cognitive dissonance there — “what in the world?”

Do you play it cool? Do you explode with anger and confusion? How do you handle something like this?

It’s important for us to consider Jospeh’s story in the context of his culture.

Remember, Mary and Joseph are committed, engaged to be married. They’ve made a vow of betrothal, swearing to one another to marry and be faithful to one another. So, from Joseph’s initial vantage point, Mary may have broken this contract. From all he knows, she has been with another man and become pregnant in her time away from him.

And now, culturally, Joseph would certainly be within his rights to dismiss her, to walk away.

He would actually have some legal credence to make a public spectacle of her. He could take her to the authorities, the religious establishment, and have her punished, perhaps even physically. He could demand to be let out of the arrangement, as he had contemplated. Our text says he was a righteous man — but what does righteous living lead one to? If we follow the law strictly, she could be accused of adultery and punished, like we find later in the gospels with the woman caught in adultery, facing punishment by stoning.

Before we get to what he does do, let’s consider what this might look like in our own cultural context. While it’s not totally a one-to-one relationship with how we understand conception and the responsibilities of the partners to support one another in our modern time, we do know this would be complicated nonetheless even today.

Would he break off the relationship?

Would he run away, dismiss her and leave her to figure it out as a single mother?

Or maybe he would advocate for her to have an abortion. I know that is harsh to think about, but it’s a reality. Would he want to hide this disgrace with her and just move on?

In our modern view, can we feel the confusion and anger that would likely surface? The righteous indignation?

Joseph is man of privilege — as we’ve heard, he comes from the line of David, he’s got royal blood.

In the news today, we read lots about the royal family of Great Britain. Just imagine if this story was describing Prince Harry and Duchess Megan Markle! This would scandalize the world, right? Many of us remember the rumors of infidelity that swirled around Princess Diana and Prince Charles — it ruined their marriage and in part led to her untimely death, didn’t it?

So Joseph would be very conflicted, presented with a number of options that would exonerate him from this situation.

Finally, before we get to what he does do, let’s also just remark on this reality: Joseph was considering dismissing her quietly. He would make no spectacle of her, but he would let her go quietly to save face. He has a reputation to uphold.

And for this, we need to also recognize that Joseph wasn’t necessarily ready to just bear with it and raise this child. He needed a reassurance. Think back to Mary and the announcement from the angel we looked at last week — Mary yields to God’s plan.

Similarly, we see that Joseph is confronted by the Good News of God’s way in the form of a messenger, an angel.

The message comes to Joseph in a dream. Let’s hear our text again:

Matthew 1:20–25 NRSV

20 But just when he had resolved to do this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife, for the child conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. 21 She will bear a son, and you are to name him Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.” 22 All this took place to fulfill what had been spoken by the Lord through the prophet: 23 “Look, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and they shall name him Emmanuel,” which means, “God is with us.” 24 When Joseph awoke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him; he took her as his wife, 25 but had no marital relations with her until she had borne a son; and he named him Jesus.

A few key things we need to attend to from this part of the text.

First, the messenger assures Joseph that there is not some other man who has impregnated Mary, but rather she has conceived by the will of the Holy Spirit alone. Now, dreams can be faulty, but in the Scriptures, revelations from dreams are typically meant to shine light on what is otherwise confusing or obscured. This dream is a revelation, an unveiling or revealing of what is true. And Joseph operates in this tradition that would have paid attention to this revelation.

Second, importantly in his context, Joseph is told that this child will be a son and this son is to be named Jesus, Yeshua. This name from the dream would have signified a connection for Joseph to this child being a bearer of that holy lineage he is a part of. Out of the root of Jesse, this child is of holy birth, royal line. He is to be the one promised to the people of Israel. The message sets Jesus in a different light to Jospeh, who now begins to understand that he is participating in the liberation of his people, the Israelites, from their oppression by Rome. This is the one the people have been waiting for. These dreams don’t just happen to anyone — this is important!

The messenger says he will save the people from their sins. I’m struck by this piece. Why do the Hebrew people have a code for holiness, a law to keep them on the straight, faithful path? Well, in many respects, it is to atone and keep them from sin. To make them pure and holy. They have a system that keeps them right with God — sacrifices, worship, honoring the law. This is what saves them from death and liberates them to life.

So this child, according to the dream, would be the one who would “save his people from their sins!” The righteous man, Joseph, knows what this means. There is consequence to this child for his people. While the law was meant to keep the people in right standing before the presence of God, now we hear that God is with them, Emmanuel. God has come to be in flesh, flipping the whole system upside and ushering in something new.

Now, obviously Joseph wouldn’t have had time to reflect back on all this rich theological understanding in his dream, or even in the aftermath of it. But can you get the sense of the gravity of what he encounters in this message? And how it changes him?

Joseph finds he must choose a better way.

He can’t dismiss her. He can’t abandon her. They can’t abort the baby or just pretend it didn’t happen. He needs a whole new frame for this, a whole new way of understanding what it is he is being called to do.

Let’s bring this home for us.

I know many of us will think that these kinds of decisions will no longer confront us. We’ve had our children or we are too old for this or this is not a situation we would find ourselves in, thank you very much.

But what Joseph’s struggle poses for us is a question around what we do in a very complicated, difficult situation. What is faithful? What is the right choice here?

Our cultural values dictate that we take care of ourselves. We cut and run when someone else makes our life difficult, don’t we? Or we resign ourselves to a reality of a difficult relationship, becoming caretakers or even martyrs. We stand beside our kids when they become single parents.

These advent stories speak of a different way, a way that runs counter to the cultural push we feel. They teach us to come closer to the one in need. They teach us to trust that God is up to something much bigger than we have a conceptual understanding or imagination for. They teach us that God is working in our lineage, our family story, to tell of redemption and liberation and we seek to understand our part in this.

Without promoting Joseph to too high a status, so as to make him an outsider and not like us, we still can see that Joseph is a righteous man who acts in honor. He chooses to come close to his betrothed wife, to support her and figure it out together. Where there could be abandonment, he is called to draw near. Where there could be dishonor, he chooses to bear her burden in solidarity and support.

Our advent devotional talks about the complexities of Jospeh’s situation and highlights an important point for us as we close this part of the story.

Joseph takes on the child as his own, as the messenger instructs. Who do you go to when you have a newborn child and need support? Your people, your family and friends, your community. Just this week, our family visited our brand new nephew who lives in Vermont. Baby Sutton Benjamin Johnson, the newest, beautiful addition to our family.

When you need support, you gather with your family.

But out of this revelation, Joseph knows that family isn’t where he needs to start. His culture, his family, would require him to likely follow through on the dismissal, the punishment of Mary. The religious system would require penance for this crime. The empire would require him to pay taxes for this new child.

And so, instead, they flee. The

Fleeing to Egypt

Becoming refugees in order to protect his wife and child

What does our culture tell us to do? What would happen if Joseph didn’t follow the angel’s command?

Divine Intervention

What do we inherit from our ancestors choices?

What if they didn’t stay together or if they did?

We can choose a better way

Evading power and privilege

Denying the culture’s demands to do what is right by the ones we love.