The Gift We Didn't Want

Intro

Xmas shopping with Chance last weekend and it was a great experience to watch him try to purchase a gift for his girlfriend.

I remember some of my favorite gifts as an adult have been experiences / things to do with people I love…last year Emma had gotten me tickets to see Lion King. It was amazing

I remember as a kid every year was different sometimes things were good, others times they werent - I remember getting my first bike as a child and learning how to ride it. I remember getting our first game system in like 3rd grade. It was used and we didn’t have memory cards … we were grateful most years. Sometimes we get gifts we don’t want - like these kids

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q4a9CKgLprQ

Some kids are grateful and try to be nice, and others not so much.

But I also remember in High school getting this one gift. When I was in middle school, culturally we wore a lot of oversized clothing. Lots of big clothes - Especially skate culture or hip hop…I spent lots of time around friends who were in between these spaces. Everything was big and baggy. For hip hop it was XXXXXL polo with fubu or echo unlimited jeans….or in the skate world you wore baggy cargo pants with etnies or Adio shoes…when I moved to MS in high school my closet shifted more preppy but I hated wearing belts. I felt stuffy and uncool or whatever for some reason.

But I had my own style and my parents weren’t really fans cause I didn’t rock the Walmart rock band tee shirt, studded Jean jacket, or parody graphic t theyd thought was hilarious…

I don’t remember what I had asked for this one year. It may have been some money for clothes or new shoes or a new video game … I may have been asking for too much as most teens do…

And I wasn’t perfect by any means - I was hanging wit a rough crowd hiding liquor bottles, weed, and cigarettes in my room….

I remember one Christmas - my brother got his gift he asked for …it was a video game …I was excited for mine and I opened mine and it was a belt..that’s what I got…a belt… oooooh I was hot

It was something I didn’t want, it was also a slap in my face it seemed cause it was like “you need to pull your pants up” - it stung

As a result -I don’t give thoughtless gifts -gifts without purpose… you can ask Emma I get paralyzed after spending weeks deciding what to get someone… I refuse to give a gift card unless I know that you like that place and go there on the reg…like Barnes and Noble… I’ll spend that real quick…it may take me 2 years to read the book I bought…but I love to give gifts and i love wrapping them.

I go all out! I’ll wrap a present with the perfect bow and decoration. I want to take the time not because the gift matters, or the appearance, but because the person does…

But what I wanna talk about today is is getting the gift you didn’t want

Like the belt - there are things we receive from others we didn’t want or ask for. They’re as harmless as this belt was, or something like that christmas card that one family sends every year…it’s just the card with their name…no special message or announcement. Just “the smiths”

Sometimes it’s something like a blown tire on the way to work, a job with bad pay or hours, or a breakup we didn’t see coming

But for some of us it was a divorce (our own or our parents, it’s the living paycheck to paycheck, being overqualified for an underpaying job, it’s mental illness, it was being abused, the death of a friend, an addiction, cancer…you fill in the blank….these “gifts” are things we didn’t ask for and we ask God…why? Why did I have to have this? Why am I going through this? …sometimes it’s why am i going through this....again?

We ask God how on earth can something this horrible that has happened to me…be of any good....why did I have to go through this? Why am I going through this? I didn’t ask for this, I didn’t cause this, I don’t want it.. but why have you given it to me…why have I been given this ‘gift’? But I want to tell you is that God didn’t cause the pain…he didnt give you that gift. Sin did.

GOD DIDN’T CAUSE THE PAIN…SIN DID (IT WAS ALLOWED) (Luke 21:31-34)

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not blaming you for your pain - nor am I saying you caused it. Some of you … yeah, you made dumb decisions that led you to where you are… I know I made those decisions but ultimately the pain we’re talking about today is caused by sin…and allowed by God.

The result of any sin varies and there are spiritual consequence, emotional consequences, and physical ones. Even after we’ve forgiven, have asked for forgivness, changed our life, made better decisions there is still pain, and that’s because we still have the weight and effect of sin around us. We live in a sin-filled world, with people who are still sinning, even with the grace of Jesus abounding, we are but a candle in the night. when it comes to the abundance of sin around us.

Because we have free will, there is a choice to choose God’s goodness. If we don’t choose this and what God says is the way, there are natural consequence and eternal consequences.

Romans 6:23

For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Isaiah 59:2 ESV

But your iniquities have made a separation between you and your God, and your sins have hidden his face from you so that he does not hear.

Galatians 6:7-8 ESV

Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life.

God created all things and said it was good…we see that in Genesis…in Romans because of the fall of Adam, we see creation groaning in anticipation waiting for that restoration. God doesn’t cause evil because he didn’t create it..but the separation of his goodness is what causes the evil, and the result is pain..which he allows

Does god ordain the evil? Maybe you say there isn’t good...

how do we know what good and evil is

how do we know what’s fair? We don’t, but God does…

we learned somewhere what good is - we have sin so our view is distorted -

but how do we know a line is crooked without a straight line to compare…God is that straight line.

I wanna take you to Luke 21:31-34…Jesus is speaking to Peter and is speaking pretty plain and bold with him. Peter is a bold and zealous individual, but not without fear. It is Peter who was called out of the boat but his faith lacked and he sank. Peter learned to have such a strong faith, but it was at a cost, it wasn’t without pain.

Luke 22 says

““Simon, Simon, behold, Satan demanded to have you, that he might sift you like wheat, but I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail. HOLD UP - JESUS PRAYED FOR HIM.... And when you have turned again, strengthen your brothers.” He knew Peter would come back to his senses... Peter said to him, “Lord, I am ready to go with you both to prison and to death.” Jesus said, “I tell you, Peter, the rooster will not crow this day, until you deny three times that you know me.””

Luke 22:31-34 ESV

Peter gets no answer as to why....he’s just told this will happen. That God allowed Satan to move. There’s no reason as to why, he’s just told it will happen. But there’s also something i don’t want you to miss....he called him by his former name. It’s like Jesus was telling Simon…calm yourself, take that bravado and eagerness and set it aside, you remember when you doubted me on the water, when you questioned how I’d feed 5000 people? It’s like being called by your middle name....in my case it’d be my first name.... you know you’re in trouble or that you better listen. Brian Demar, Chance Lee, Kyndle Monique, Joya Monet...

You remember the last time that name was used....

What Jesus knew that Peter didnt was that this was going to test him, this was going to be one of those formative moments that would rock his world, this would be a terrible thing in his memory for the rest of his life. It would be something that people would remember, it would be something talked about for years…2000 years later... his betrayal of Christ and the shame that came with it.

What Jesus knew is that Peter would make it through the other side, his shame, guilt, regret, self-hatred, and worth would not overcome him. It would not separate him from Jesus… what Jesus knew then, that we get to know, that Peter didnt…is this.

If Peter had not walked this road of denying Jesus 3 times... He would not be as guilt ridden…he would not have the shame and regret that came with his decision to betray Jesus…its easy to read that and think, oh he did it at a distance…no Jesus and Peter locked eyes when this happened…Luke 22:61....that moment is what I would remember ...but because of this major moment, It is what allows Peter to learn of Jesus forgiveness. Which then brings Peter to a place later after he mourns this, to preach the first message after Jesus’ death about forgiveness and repentance on the day of Pentecost..where many are saved and added to the kingdom....

What God saw, that Peter didn’t was there there was purpose in his pain. While Satan tried to these evil, harmful, difficult things to distract Peter from the purpose and glory of God, it ended up being fuel for God’s kingdom, and it also made Peter a stronger, more faithful, excited, and unwaivering.

We have to chance our perspective of seeing pain, to seeing purpose. Usually there’s a preparing in you by pain for your purpose. God needed Peter to walk through this so that he could preach at Pentecost, so he could preach to the known world…but it wouldn’t have happened without the pain. Sometimes God needs to do a work in you before he can do a work through you. And that pain, caused by our own decisions to sin, and the effect of sin from others, is what causes us to look at our situations, to look within, and to go … what do I do with this? I don’t want this. I want change....I want to do better, I want to feel better...

There is a purpose, even if we don’t see it yet, just like Peter didn’t, for the pain that we endure.

THERE IS A PURPOSE IN THE PAIN (what do we do until we find out why?)

It’s not that we don’t like pain it’s that we don’t like pain that doesn’t have a purpose. We pay to go to the gym. we pay to do marathons. We pay to over eat at golden corral. we’re willing to endure the pain as long as you’re able to see the purpose. Some of y’all that decision is to run 10 miles, do 150 burpees, and then run a marathon …just to do a tough mudder or spartan race…that is not me. I enjoy the gym, but you won’t find me in that event. There’s a few folks here that love that and love the community they have found in such evil activities. some of y’all apparently like pain…but you have a purpose for that pain… you have a goal you have in mind that you plan to reach.

There’s a pain when you detox from addiction so that you can become better and healthier

the pain of doing CrossFit because there’s a community that you build up that encourages you and you can encourage them.

The pain of pregnancy and birth which brings new life and excitement and love and parenthood. We know the purpose in that pain.

But what happens when we don’t know the purpose…what do we do with the waiting, or the fulfillment, or the fustration of the pain…?

WHAT DO WE DO WHEN WE DON’T KNOW THE PURPOSE?

If we look at the Christmas Story…Mary finds out she is pregnant…and not by Joseph, her fiance…I’m no woman but i imagine she began to panic

what will my parents think?

my friends will think im some sort of hoe

my fiance, he’s gonna think i cheated

beyond that, he’ll think i am immoral and unclean

what about this baby - how will i care for it

how do i even care for a child?

where will I live? everyones gonna judge me

God what did I do to deserve this

everyones gonna abandon me

im going to be alone - i am alone

the list goes on....

anxiety, doubt, fear, the what if’s the ‘why is this happening, what’s the purpose… i would assume drowned her heart and mind. Eventually God spoke to her, gave her some peace and helped ease some of the fear. But not everything would be gone just because an angel spoke. Let’s be real… like that one girl on social media.... that you watch from a distance…that couple with the joint social media account.

you watch the engagement FB status go from engaged to single.... but the Jospeh meets and angel, he says okay God, if you say so…

then we watch it go to engaged… .and then married…now unless the homeboys and homegirls talked…and we know they did…noone would know she was pregnant. It’s not like God said ‘you’re pregnant’ and BAAM, baby bump.

but 4 months later… you see it....

Mary and Joseph got divorced....

i thought they weren’t married

well i heard she got pregnant

yeah and she tried to say it was God’s baby

that’s rediculous

then the bros are ragging on joseph like ‘ you really gonna marry this trick?’ after that?

you get what I’m saying, the drama and rumors and all that still there…this moment becomes one of those moments that potentially is that big moment for Mary that can be what breaks her or makes her…we know what happens, but for 9 months she didn’t what would happen to that child, who he would look like, and then once he was born, he’d be known as the ‘illegimate’ child. She knew he was God’s gift, but what now, what all was he to do…she didn’t fully get it once he was born. But once she got it, she got it, are you picking up what I’m putting down?

There are these terrible, painful, traumatic, and destructive moments, things that Satan will use to keep us from God, to hold us back, to tell us we’re not deserving, that we’re not worthy, we’re not good enough. These things that make us say…see i told you you’d do that again, see I told you you dserved that, see I told you theres no point, i told you you’d fail, i told you wouldn’t make it to be noone, that you wouldn’t get married, that you wouldnt get better, that you wouldnt heal, the list goes on, you fill in the blank...

These moments Satan will try to use these moments to define us…to say this is who we are....that this is who we were molded to be…Satan wants us blame God and to question his love and use it to hold us back from God and his goodness. Satan will use it to distract and destroy, bring shame, keep us from seeing our potential...

But God, he can turn what the enemy meant for evil into something good. But God, when we surrender and we work through the pain, he can use it, he can show us his love despite that situation....

God can turn that moment, that terrible, traumatic, painful moment into one of our greatest weapons and testimonies. God can turn our greatest weakness, our darkest pain and turn it into our greatest weapon and into the brightest light aginst the darkness.

When we can control the narrative and flip the script and we begin to share what God is doing despite that pain.

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There’s phrase I want to teach you… repeat after me…Hakuna…Matata....just kidding....FELIX CULPA

FELIX CUPLA is a latin phrase meaning fortunate fall....the idea is that despite the horrible, dark, evil that come forth from Adam’s decision in the garden of Eden, we get Christ. That we don’t get Jesus if it wasn’t for Adam’s fall. It wasn’t the original plan, but we don’t get God’s goodness and grace without Jesus, and we don’t get Jesus with Adam’s sin.

If we look throughout scripture this theme occurs so that God may be glorified and that good may prosper for the people of God.

Joseph was betrayed and beaten by his brothers, thrown in jail, sold as a slave, was accused of adultery, and tormented with everything that would cause in his heart, head, mind and body. All these things happened so that eventually he could rise to power and save his entire family. The family grew in Egypt and actually flourished for I think hundreds of years … so Josephs misery, led to the salvation of his people instead of starvation. Famine became feast.

Later those same people were enslaved by a different pharaoh, one not as favoring as Jospeh, they were forced to work and serve the Egyptians. Now they’re in agony, but if that didn’t happen, and the pharaohs heart wasnt hardened ...we wouldn’t have seen God’s power demonstrated in Egypt and the freedom given to the israelites across the red sea and God’s judgment across the wickedness of Pharoah and his commanders. Even more so, the word of that power spread through all the surrounding countries And the Israelites were known as a people with a mighty God who they should fear.

We look at the new testament and after Peter we have Stephen, who with his death brought about the spread of the gospel. It was scary, there was fear, there was abandomnet, but God…because of this…he allowed it to spread the name of Jesus and expand his kingdom. Paul, who was attacking, killing and perscuting Christians at this point was also in attendance of this death… When Paul met Christ and was confronted about his calling…Paul’s shame for the murder of Christians led to his zeal.

If I were to look at my own life.

Without my dads cancer, I wouldn’t have spent hours at youth group with Jen, who later moved to AL. Without walking in poverty and drug usage, I wouldn’t have lost a job, and asked the preacher for one…which lead me to visit a camp where Jennifer was 2 hours away…where I didn’t know she left,,,but I met people who helped me grow…it took time but over the year I began to lead a ministry there - where I met a young man who walked a similar road as I.

God helped me turn my shame of poverty, depression and physical, emotional and sexual abuse into a weapon for Gods kingdom…he turned those things into a testimony of despite this terrible thing,,,God did this… I witnessed this but God…I experienced pain…but God…when I shift my perspective I can use it as a lighthouse for God…

If I hadn’t experienced any of those things…I would be be in this room…but more importantly…the plan God had for those I was connected to…wouldn’t have been fulfilled. Because I turned from shame to sword….that young man I met 12 years ago is now in this room and called to ministry.

That’s my Felix culpa…if I had not been in poverty, if I had not been left alone where my youth pastor had to bring me home…if I had not walked through depression and loneliness, i j had not been desperate enough to ask for a job, I wouldn’t have found my way back to where my youth pastor was at (Bama) to meet others and meet a young man named chance… if it want for God AND my obedience… Chance wouldn’t be in this room….

I’m not saying it’s about me by any means…but God orchestrated pieces that brought me to this space…for his purpose and the good of others. There’s purpose in your pain. Youre greatest hurt becomes your hallelujah…your deepest trauma becomes your loudest testimony….

This FELIX CULPA is what brought me to God…and it’d what allows me to connect to people like Chance, like my wife, like the NEXUS crew and those on the production team…it’s those pain pints that make me share “but God” and you have that moment

Whats your but God moment - what is that thing that needs surrendered to God -

don’t overspiritualize it - sometimes that pain is our own doing -

YOU WON’T BE OVERCOME BY THE PAIN (ROMANS 8:31-39)

How do I know? Let’s turn to Romans 8:31-39

Paul is writing to the church about how God protects us, but also how he provides purpose in our trials. They’re in conflict, theres transition, it’s a difficult life, the Romans want this movement to stop, the pharisees are attempting to stop this movement of ‘Christians’ across Europe because it’s causing problems with their authority, control and exploitation. So death, taxes, rumor, and pain are just a few of the ways Satan is using others to try to stop the church. Paul responds with his letter, and this portion is to bring encouragement.

?“What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? (God gave us his all, put all that was not of him on Jesus, put to death..death…so we may be reconciled with him… if he is willing to put to death the thing that separates us from him..what more will he do to make sure we reside in his presence and can enjoy his presence. If Jesus was enough to protect us from the effect of sin (eternal separation from God) why would not continue to give us all things that would protect us from his absence and the effect of sin....spiritual death and separation. He said I am giving you my son, the sacrifical lamb, to bring you into my family so that you can be my people. THIS IS WHAT GOD HAS GIVEN REGARDLESS OF OUR CURENT SITUATION.

Who shall bring any charge against God’s elect? (Satan tries to bring this charge (an accusation) to our mind…he brings those fears, those wandering thoughts, he wants us to doubt what God has done, and who God has called us…but that’s all Satan is…and accuser. It is God who justifies. God is the judge....not Satan…the judge declares and commands, Satan has no authority to demand or command you into a place of condemnation…he wants to…but he has not place for that…that is Gods place. Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—Jesus not only died for sin, but was raised to life, meaning no matter what happens to us we too shall be raised…we know the final destination…we can follow the path of righteoussness…who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us.In this jewish culture, in the kingship culture, to be seated at the right hand, was not just ‘oh I get to sit next to the King… that’s our pride…but those in that seat…shared equal honor with the head of the table…the King. Meaning he is not weak…he is praying for us…the man who took on sin, the God who sent his son, because they share the honor, are praying for you and I. JESUS PRAYS FOR YOU!! Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? This is the victory, that nothing can separate us...As it is written, “For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.” No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.JNothing can conquer us…THROUGH JESUS…LOVE…love is qhat conquers…God already defeated the effect of sin, so therefor by God, we recieve the holy spirit within us, meaning we have the love of God in our heart, mind, body and soul, which is the thing that conquers…we are conquerers because of Christs love…because it has already conquered..

WE ARE NOT VICTIMS HERE…if we our lack of faith, our lack of obedience, our lack of understanding God comes from a place where the sin of others has effected us…it is not because of God or the other person…we make that choice to overcome… people overcome their circumstances all the time…we have no excuse if we claim to have God within us. We love to be the victim because it gives us an excuse, it puts the focus on ourselves or puts the focus on the other person. DON’T GIVE THEM POWER....JESUS HAS THE POWER…HE OVERCAME! HE WAS....HE IS..AND WILL BE VICTORIOUS. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus …”

We’re so scared as american christians…OMG we can’t pray in the schools, OMG they took God off the coins, OMG we have a president who affirms same sex…we have an islamic prayer group at my childs school, OMG they said ‘Happy Holidays’....

Grow up…we can still pray, we can still say God, we can still worship God, we can still say Merry Christmas…as if that’s the whole reason for Christmas is to focus on the baby and not the cross....

People over seas and in scripture died to take make others know Jesus…people died so that others would come to worship God…not Allah…people are willing to die to proclaim Jesus is King not Nebuchadnezzer…It was never about what we can or can’t do…it was never about protecting a man made ‘right’ to free speech. It was to protect and proclaim the name of God.

For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus …”

that protection is found in the love of God…because it has conquered… and Jesus resides in you and I, as his temple for our good and his glory.

WHAT PAIN (MOMENT) DO YOU NEED TO SURRENDER?

Surrendering the season of waiting. Pray to God to shut up and listen. Come to the altar to surrender this season of anticipation of waiting of pursuing a purpose in the pain.

This experiences we have often bring out Gods glory and someone else’s good…we gain experience and wisdom about situations to help others -

You’ve been through emotional abuse / you now know what Gods love DOESNT look like and you have the responsibility as a Christian to call that out in others, but also to protect those from it and

If you have been through financial poverty - you know how to get by with little - you know the blessing of gifts from others, that happiness doesn’t come from material possessions - you have the responsibility to help others see that happiness is found in loving and being loved…primarily by God

If you’ve been through divorce - you know what a healthy doesn’t look like - wether it was your fault or the others- actually is was probably both your faults

But you see know what God wants as a healthy Marriage

BE CAREFUL OF BEING THE VICTIM…in some instances you truly were … and I don’t want to make light of what happened to you, but be careful not to address the situation in a way that says “how can I be a better person because of this” - not all of us face abuse … I.e in a faulty relationship or divorce or job you were fired from or didn’t get… think… what can I learn from this..maybe your tongue needs addressed, maybe your commitment needs worked on, maybe you overwork, or you overthink and need to learn to trust again… be careful not to be so victimized that you don’t step back and grow from it…that might be part of the gift God wants you to see from the pain

I’ll be baptized when God shows me why he I had to face this - when he shows me purpose … you aren’t guaranteed that…you’re guaranteed a judgment - Jesus called people to follow and said leave behind your fam, let the dead bury themselves

Leave the Old Testament history of purpose for pain towards the end. The cherry on top. One Church has been paying over the last three years, there’s a season of waiting and trying to my purpose in the payment. We find purpose of the sifting, but there are additional pain points yet to be resolved. The Lord by the man that threw the purpose they revive was coming. through the pain of the adult group. There is a greater need to worship, through the pain of moving to a new building, we found more intimacy and the release of the debt. Through the change of leader ship, and its pains, we find God, calling those from within to step up to fulfill their purpose