Loving Relationships

Prayer

Authentic Loving Relationships

Story of Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh was a guru from India created a type of meditation called “dynamic meditation” and started attracting a lot of followers - especially Westerners. As they grew and experience difficulties with the local authorities in India, he moved along with many of his followers to the United States in the early 1980’s to start their own commune on a 100 square mile ranch in central Oregon that they called Rancho Rajneesh.

When he left the commune, traveling in one of his 93 Rolls Royces - upon his return, his followers would line up to get a glimpse as he pulled up. He’d walk through the throng of followers who were all dressed in red and orange and yellow. Picture a celebrity pulling up in a limousine up to the awards show, cameras flashing as they emerge and walk the red carpet. Then Rajneesh would disappear.

That become his pattern - he would emerge amongst his followers, spend time teaching and then disappear again - at one point he didn’t make a public appearance for months

Clearly, he was revered and held in high esteem by his followers, who would wait eagerly for his appearances, ready to listen to his teachings.

But I want to contrast this with Jesus and how he interacted with his followers and admirers. We actually see Jesus in similar situation, arriving in the town of Jericho where throngs of followers and onlookers greet him on the outskirts in order to accompany him into town - which was very much a part of the culture - the more you esteemed you were, the further out the people would greet them and parade them into town.

First big contrast is how Jesus enters. Rolls Royce of the time would have been a chariot, like we see the Ethiopian eunuch riding in in Acts 8. But no Rolls Royce for Jesus, he comes walking along through his closest followers, and just like the vast throng of folks waiting for him there.

As he makes his way into town a blind beggar starts yelling at Jesus to get his attention - Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me. The crowd works to hush this man, Bartimaeus, because he’s not important enough for Jesus. Except that he is - and Jesus stops, correcting the crowd by asking them to bring the man before him and he speaks with Bartimaeus and heals him.

After Jesus enters Jericho he has another encounter, this time with Zacchaeus, who is hiding up in a sycamore tree trying to get a glimpse of Jesus. Most of you I’m sure know the story - Zacchaeus is the hated chief tax collector. But that doesn’t deter Jesus - he looks up at Zacchaeus and invites himself to be his guest, “I must stay at your house today.”

You can see the shock and dismay on those around - they can’t believe that Jesus has invited himself to be a guest at Zacchaeus’ house - as they mutter, the house of a sinner.

Jesus is willing to share his life with this sinner, this despised and looked-down upon man, to break bread with this man, to receive his hospitality.

It doesn’t take long to see the stark contrast between these two teachers, both highly revered. What stands out is how Jesus interacted with his followers - Jesus was all about cultivating loving relationships with others, all about developing genuine and real friendships. And he wants us to do the same.

Brings us to the third measure of our Vision Framework

Vision Framework, how we frame our vision of moving Into Abundant Life. The sides of the framework - the things that keep us focused on this vision of Abundant Life are our Mission (to lead others into the abundant life of Jesus Christ), our Values (Kingdom First, Lived Obedience to Jesus, Sharing Life Together & Heart Transformation), our Strategy (worship rooted in teaching, fellowship, breaking of bread & prayer), spiritual formation, neighborhood church and intentional disciplining.

Throughout this sermon series we’re focusing on the final element, the measures, how we know that we’re successful.

Began with having Minds captivated by the reality of God and his kingdom

Last week, the measure of having a heart formed toward loving God and toward loving others.

Today, what does it look like to have authentic loving relationships with one another.

Next Sunday we’ll finish with actively leading others into the abundant life that comes through Jesus Christ.

So, this measure of authentic loving relationships with each other. I hope you see connection with our core value of sharing our lives together, how they are directly related.

If this is genuinely a core conviction of ours, that we should share our lives together - it will lead to this, we will have authentic loving relationships with each other.

So what does it look like, to have these authentic loving relationships with each other.

Living into Loving Relationships

One helpful way to think about this - really, to think about anything in our lives is to consider what Jesus would do if he were in our place.

This really is the essential question of discipleship, of being a follower of Jesus. How would Jesus live if he were in my place - my age, my life situation, had the family I do, the friendships, lived in my neighborhood, did the job I did, same health situation, had skills and gifts (and lack thereof), my particular personality, experiences, etc - all of it.

So to think about this question in terms of our church relationships, and how I engage relationally with you all - how would Jesus do this if he were in my place. And answer to the question differs for each of us because we’re all coming from different life situations, we all have different roles here.

But the question is the same, if Jesus were in my place as a part of People’s Community Church, how would he interact with everyone else? How would he greet, what kind of conversations would he engage in, what would he be willing to share of himself? How would Jesus do these things if he were in your particular place, if he were you, as part of this church?

It really is a fascinating question - and I want you to picture it in your mind, Jesus walking into our gathering - what can you picture him doing - who he greets, how he greets us, what kind of questions or comments he might make as he engages us? In other words - what do you think about Jesus and how relationships within the church community mean to him? And are you willing to follow him in this? Am I willing, as Jesus’ follower, to move into relationship in the way that I can best discern Jesus would do if he were in my place?

And though the particulars of that will look different for each of us, there are some things that I think are true no matter who we are - because there are some general truths about who Jesus is that would relate to all of us. I think that one of those things, as we look closely at Jesus in the gospels, it becomes abundantly clear that Jesus prioritized relationships. They were a high value for him. He loved his disciples, he loved his friends. He spent time with them, a lot of time with them.

Every now and then Jesus would go off and be by himself - at other times he sent the disciples off - but the vast majority of his time he was with his disciples - walking from town to town, sharing meals, camping out as they traveled. Now, part of that was the function of being a Rabbi, a teacher, who had disciples - way disciples would learn from their rabbi’s, traveling together with them.

But it went beyond just his closest followers. A beautiful example of this is Jesus’ friendship with Mary and Martha and Lazarus. We know that’s where Jesus would stay when he was traveling around Jerusalem, in Bethany where they lived. He taught in their home (remember the story where Martha is upset with Mary for not helping with the hospitality?).

But listen to how Mary and Martha inform Jesus that Lazarus was ill, John 11:3, So the sisters sent word to Jesus, “Lord, the one you love is sick.” The one you love is sick. Mary and Martha were so confident of how Jesus felt about their brother that’s how they sent word. We know you love and care for him every bit as much as we do - come and help, please.

Jesus’ affection for all them is further revealed later in the story when Mary first approaches him: When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. “Where have you laid him?” he asked. “Come and see, Lord,” they replied. Jesus wept. Then the Jews said, “See how he loved him!”

Jesus knows he is going to raise Lazarus from the dead, he knows Lazarus will live again. Yet when he sees his dear friend, Mary, weep - “he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled.” And he’s ready to go to tomb - where is it? He is so stirred out of love for them that he, too, weeps. I’m betting you know that experience, when something tragic happens to a dear friend and they’re crying and you’re so moved being with them that you cry, too.

Jesus’ love for his friends is so evident that they can’t help but comment on it: “See how he loved him.” It was evident to all observing that Jesus loved Lazarus (and Mary and Martha) deeply. Because Jesus valued relationships. People were a priority to him. He cultivated deep friendships.

Would people say that about us, would it be evident? Would it be obvious that we love one another - and love one another deeply? Recently I was at a gathering that was made up mostly of folks who all went to church together. I’ve gotten to know some of these people over the years and see them occasionally. And I was struck by ease of affection and care they had for each - it was a wonderful atmosphere to be a part of because they had deep friendships, they loved one another.

This love for one another, this prioritizing relationships, is in fact - according to Jesus, one of the marks of discipleship, John 13:34-35… “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

So this is the first thing we see in Jesus, as far as what he would do if he were in our place: Willingness to prioritize relationships. To actively pursue engaging with others. To be present, to spend time with them.

Not just that Jesus prioritized relationships, it was his willingness to be open, to share of himself. It is the willingness to risk.

This is the truly challenging part - even for Jesus. Because Jesus could and would experience all the wounds of relationships that we experience. The same wounds that often keep us from moving toward others, being willing to open up and share of ourselves.

Consider the last night of Jesus’ life, and Jesus’ desire to be with his disciples and for them to be with him as he faced the great challenge of the cross. He wanted his friends, those closest to him, to be with him.

Luke 22:14 - When the hour came, Jesus and his apostles reclined at the table. And he said to them, “I have eagerly desired to eat this Passover with you before I suffer.”

It’s a beautiful vulnerable moment on Jesus’ part…I’m about to suffer. I’m about to endure something far, far more difficult than I have ever faced before. I so want you with me, it would help me greatly to have my friends with me. I have eagerly desired to eat this Passover with you before I suffer.

He expresses the same vulnerability later in the Garden of Gethsemane when he goes to pray, asking his friends to stay watch with him…Matthew 26:38…Then he said to them, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.”

Jesus is saying to them, I’m hurting. I’m being smothered in a cloud of sadness, it’s overwhelming. Just be with me. I need you here. I need your friendship, your presence. Does this ever teach us what it means to be fully human! There’s no - I got it, I’m ok. I’m fine. No, Jesus is an open book with his pain and difficulty and his desire and need for support of dear friends.

Here’s the thing…Jesus opens himself up to his friends knowing that they are going to disappoint him. He knows they will fail him. In fact, he tells them they will scatter that very night and Peter himself, in spite of his protestations, will deny him three times.

In other words, he pursues authentic loving relationships with his disciples in spite of the risk. He opens himself to them, he makes himself vulnerable in friendship even while he knows he will be wounded by their failure to be faithful to him.

By the way, this says so much about Jesus and who he is. What a true and genuine friend he is. You will never, never find a better, more faithful friend than Jesus.

To think that Jesus eagerly desires to share in this meal with his friends - friends who not simply are going to abandon him, but one of whom is actually in the process of betraying him, of turning against him. It’s happening right then and there, and Jesus knows it. Judas is using his position of being in that inner circle, being one of Jesus’ closest friends - using that to sell him out.

Yet Jesus never stops pursuing a loving relationship with him. He never stops seeking to share his life together with him - in the same way that he never stops with us.

I don’t know exactly what this looks like for you, as you consider what Jesus would do if he were in your place regarding relationships within church community, but these two things are clear: Jesus absolutely prioritized relationships. He pursued friendships. And he did it with an open heart. He shared of himself, he made himself open, vulnerable.

Because this is how you develop authentic loving relationships with one another.

Because we’re committed to living in obedience to Jesus, we don’t want to just learn from Jesus, we want to put his teachings into practice. And we do that by engaging in spiritual disciplines, habits we intentionally engage in to train us to become like Jesus. So, as we consider what it means to have authentic loving relationships with others as Jesus did, two things I want to encourage you to put into practice:

Consider how you might prioritize relationships within the church this week. Make the effort to reach out, to engage intentionally to pursue friendship.

Make a point of coming a bit early to worship in order to engage with others. When you come in, don’t just make your way to your seat and sit down. Take time to greet others. Start a conversation. Ask others about their week, their family. Share some of yours. Engage those that you don’t normally talk to.

Take advantage of other events we do as a way of nurturing friendships within the church: Spiritual Formation Group, get together with someone for lunch or dinner, make a commitment to being a part of our Neighborhood Dinners, Git ‘Er Done days. This is how authentic loving relationships are built, little by little, day by day, building a foundation of trust, care and love for each other.

Second practice I want to encourage you to engage in: move towards greater openness. Be willing to be vulnerable. Let your weakness show. Let your delight show, your affection show.

Remember how Jesus was with his disciples: Jesus wept. See how he loved him! Jesus: I have eagerly desired to share this dinner with you. My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death…be with me. Pray with me. I need you.

What would it look like for you to share a prayer request that reveals brokenness within us, or within our families? Or to talk honestly about a struggle you’re going through? Or something God has been teaching you - may be a lesson you’ve long needed to learn. To ask for help with something? There’s so many ways we can share more of who we are. This is all part of living Jesus’ command to us: As I have loved you, so you must love one another.

Inspiration

The story of the Gospel is story of enemies becoming friends. Of broken relationship healed, of those separated brought near. Just to be clear - the enemy part was all on us - God never turned his back on us. And the beauty and the power of the Gospel is the lengths Jesus went to in order for that to happen:

Romans 5:10...For if, while we were God’s enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life!

While we were God’s enemies…Jesus pursued friendship with us while we had turned our backs on him. As John says in the prologue in his gospel, He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him. Jesus came into the world and we rejected him, we made ourselves his enemies.

But still Jesus came. And still Jesus made his way to Jerusalem. And in spite of those closest to him abandoning him, Jesus made his way alone. Carrying his cross to the top of Golgotha that we might be reconciled to him.

Not so we could just be acquaintances, so we could hang out occasionally. Someone we kinda know. Jesus did it so that we could turn from enemy to friend. Because that’s what Jesus wants with us, friendship, authentic loving relationship.

And it’s what he wants us to have with one another: authentic loving relationships. My hope and prayer for us as a church is that it would be evident to anyone who comes in our midst that we are followers of Jesus because of how we love one another.