Forgiveness in Marriage and Family

I. Introduction

It’s a new year! 2022 is now over!

Usually this calls for celebration and setting new goals as we leave the old year behind and plan for the new year.

We have been in our "Biblical Marriage and Family” series over the last few weeks.

Today we want to look at just a couple of verses from Colossians chapter 3.

We want to understand and apply a very important component necessary in our marital and family relationships–namely forgiveness!

II. We are God’s chosen ones (Col 3:12-13a)

Colossians 3:12 ESV

12 Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience,

A. As God’s ‘chosen ones’ (v. 12):

1. holy

2. beloved

B. We are to put on the new self (cf. v. 10)

Colossians 3:10 ESV

10 and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator.

1. compassionate hearts

BDAG Definition: display of concern over another’s misfortune, pity, mercy, compassion

2. kindness

BDAG Definition: the quality of being helpful or beneficial, goodness, kindness, generosity

3. humility

BDAG Definition: modesty

Louw/Nida: humble attitude, humility, without arrogance

4. meekness

BDAG Definition: the quality of not being overly impressed by a sense of one’s self-importance, gentleness, humility, courtesy, considerateness

Louw/Nida: gentleness of attitude and behavior, in contrast with harshness in one’s dealings with others—‘gentleness, meekness, mildness

Louw/Nida: gentleness may also be expressed in some instances in an idiomatic manner, for example, ‘always speaking softly to’ or ‘not raising one’s voice.’

5. patience

BDAG Definition: state of being able to bear up under provocation, forbearance, patience toward others

Louw Nida: a state of emotional calm in the face of provocation or misfortune and without complaint or irritation—‘patience.’

Colossians 3:13 ESV

13 bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.

6. bearing with one another

BDAG Definition: to regard w. tolerance, endure, bear with, put up with

7. If one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other

BDAG Definition: to show oneself gracious by forgiving wrongdoing, forgive, pardon

Louw/Nida: to forgive, on the basis of one’s gracious attitude toward an individual

III. Christ the Lord is our example of forgiveness (v. 13b)

Colossians 3:13 ESV

13 bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.

Colossians 2:13 ESV

13 And you, who were dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made alive together with him, having forgiven us all our trespasses,

Ephesians 4:32 ESV

32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

IV. Applications to marriage and family

A. Forgiveness is for your wife, your children, and your relatives.

B. Forgiveness expects no reciprocity and keeps no score–it’s like the passing of an old year into a new one!

C. Lack of forgiveness in believers’ lives causes us to be susceptible to being outwitted by Satan. (2 Cor 2:10-11)

2 Corinthians 2:10–11 ESV

10 Anyone whom you forgive, I also forgive. Indeed, what I have forgiven, if I have forgiven anything, has been for your sake in the presence of Christ, 11 so that we would not be outwitted by Satan; for we are not ignorant of his designs.