Wedding - Colin and Alyssa Wiegand

INSTRUCTIONS FOR THE SERVICE:

We are going to begin shortly, but I am going to ask each of you to silence or turn off your cell phones

I am also going to ask that you refrain from taking pictures during the ceremony - at the reception, feel free to bombard instagram with your photos, but for the service, lets leave it to the professionals! Thank you!

GIVING THE BRIDE - ***Audience stands as bride enters

**Who gives this woman?  **Do you give your blessing upon their Union as husband and wife? **Do you now release Alyssa from the watch care of your family to establish her own home with Colin as her husband?  **Do you commit to pray for them as their marriage grows? ** Colin, please receive your bride.

WELCOME - SEAT AUDIENCE

We are here this evening to witness the union of Colin Wiegand and Alyssa Holdridge in marriage.

What we are about to witness is one of the most sacred moments on earth - where two of God’s children are united together as one cohesive unit.

On behalf of the couple, I would like to thank you for joining them for this special day.

I would also ask that you commit to praying for them and their marriage - that they would be rooted firmly in Christ and that their marriage would display godliness to a watching world.

Intro

When I was a kid, I didn’t like weddings very much.

Probably because I rarely knew the couple that well and I was usually dragged there by my parents.

Since then, my perspective has changed pretty dramatically.

I love weddings and I love officiating weddings because I have the seat closest to the action.

There is something deeply moving getting to be a part of two people’s lives being joined together in a life-long covenant.

Over the past couple of years, I have gotten to know Colin thru our Missional Community Group.

We have had many conversations not only at group but also at occasional lunch meetings where we have gotten to talk about many different life issues.

Over the past few months, Cammy and I have gotten to know both Colin and Alyssa as a couple - and it has been a joy watching them process thru what marriage is supposed to be all about.

A fun little fact to know about these two is that they are getting married, today, exactly two years from the date that they met - which is pretty cool.

Thank you for trusting Cammy and me to walk with you through premarital counseling

and thank you for inviting me to play this role in your big day.

I am committed to praying with you and for you as your relationship grows

And, I want you to know that Cammy and I are always available for you as you navigate this thing called marriage.

MESSAGE

Today is a deeply important day, but probably not for the reason that many in this room might be thinking.

For many of you, you may think that today is special because these two are getting married.

because their hopes and dreams are being fulfilled as they are united together as husband and wife.

Or because they have spent countless hours planning every detail and putting all the pieces into place and now we are here.

Or because they have found the ONE they will spend the rest of their life with.

Yes these things are true, but today is deeply important for a much bigger reason.

What we need to understand is that Marriage, at its core is not simply about two people, doing life together as best as they can.

And thank God for that - because if all of this were simply based on what Colin and Alyssa were going to make out of their marriage, then we would likely be in for disappointment.

This is why the overall divorce rate is about 50%

Today is deeply important because Colin and Alyssa are being joined together by the Lord - and because He is starting something that He intends on holding together by HIS strength - NOT THEIRS.

They stand here before you today, declaring that it will not be by their human effort that their marriage succeeds, but rather by the strength and power of God.

Today is deeply important because we are standing before the Lord of all creation as He unites two of His children together in a covenant that is breakable only by death.

You see - this will not simply be just another marriage.

This union will be infused with the Holy Spirit who will hold everything together.

The reason for this is that Marriage was created by God, for God, intending that one man to be united to one woman, as a display of the relationship that Jesus has with His bride, the Church.

Which raises a good question.

HOW do you live out THAT type of marriage?

The Apostle Paul has deep wisdom for us about this that we can find in the book of Colossians 3:12-17

Colossians 3:12–17 (ESV)

Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

While this passage doesn’t speak directly or exclusively about marriage, there are some deep and abiding truths that we can find which will help us to live out marriage in a way that brings honor to the Lord - AND help us to experience deeper connection with one another.

I want to draw out a three key points:

First, Forgiveness

The first two verses drive hard towards this idea of forgiveness - using words like bearing with one another.

What does this tell us about relationship?

It isn’t easy…

So many people have a fairy tale narrative playing in their minds about what marriage is all about.

But the beauty of marriage isn’t summed up in “happily ever after”

The beauty of marriage is displayed when sin and brokenness are met with grace and forgiveness, rather than wrath and retribution.

The beauty of marriage is displayed through compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience.

I am going to let you in on a little secret…

In order to be given the opportunity to live this forgiveness out, conflict has to be introduced into the picture.

Those moments of conflict provide the opportunity for your forgiveness to shine.

And what is this forgiveness supposed to look like?

Paul clarifies at the end of v. 13 - as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.

Let’s dig into this a bit, because it is the key to making all of this work.

We must forgive as He forgave us.

So, how did He do that?

He saw our brokenness - and still came to live with us!

He gave himself up, by dying a sinners death on a cross as punishment for our brokenness

He rose from the dead on the third day, proving Himself to be stronger than our brokenness

He gave us his own righteousness in exchange for our brokenness

Now, instead of seeing any of our sin and shame, the Lord sees us as completely innocent and cleansed from our sin.

We are welcomed into His family, without strings attached.

And He knows that we are going to blow it again, and again…

This is the gospel - the good news about Jesus.

Colin, Alyssa, your job in this marriage is to die to yourself for the benefit of the other.

There is nothing that you hold against one another, because forgiveness abounds.

Others should be able to look at your relationship and see the gospel played out.

Second, Thankfulness

vv. 15-17 mention being thankful in our hearts for others.

Thankful after forgiveness?

Interestingly enough, Paul tells us to be thankful for one another right on the heels of the forgiveness piece - which at first glance seems odd.

In essence, it sounds like he is saying - this person is going to make you mad and sin against you, but you need to forgive them.

AND… Be thankful for them.

It is in the moments where we are extending forgiveness that we need to be reminded most about being thankful for our spouse.

You see, in those moments where there has been a fracture in our marriage, experiencing a deep gratitude for the other will be fuel that will drive forgiveness and unity.

It is when we allow bitterness and ungratefulness to overrun the thankfulness that forgiveness begins to wane and the drift will begin.

Overflow with thankfulness for one another so that it might fuel forgiveness

When you are thankful for one another you will see each other as God’s most precious gift - aside from your own salvation.

v. 16 describes the thankfulness that we should have for one another as driving us to sing songs to God about them.

Colin, there should be a song of praise ringing through your heart and soul for Alyssa.

She is about to become the bride of your youth, your beloved, your helper, your lover.

Alyssa will be your closest confidant and will be the safest person on the planet to be with.

Don’t stop singing to God about her - and thank Him often for this amazing woman that He is blessing you with.

Alyssa, there should be songs of praise ringing through your heart and soul for Colin.

He is about to become your husband - the one who the Lord has tasked with loving your soul and the one who will spend the rest of his life discovering how beautifully the Lord has wired you.

Colin is the one who God is entrusting to lead your family through the minefields of this world.

Don’t stop singing to God about him - and thank the Lord often for this amazing man that the Lord is blessing you with.

Third, - It’s all about HIM.

v. 17 says - whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Listen - your marriage is not all about you…

You should not be getting married just to fulfill some deep personal need - and if you are, then you will fall far short of God’s design for marriage.

The purpose of your marriage is to magnify the name of the Lord.

You have an opportunity to share the gospel with everyone around you through your marriage.

You will be able to display how two broken sinners are able to love one another with an other-worldly love that doesn’t quit.

You will be able to help others to see that the grace in your marriage is meant to point to a bigger and more sure grace, found only in the forgiveness of God through Jesus.

Whatever you do - whether in word or deed, do it in the name of Jesus

Whatever you do in your marriage - do it in the name of Jesus.

It’s all about HIM.

Let me clarify something here - this does not mean that you are to forsake any possibility of joy and self-fulfillment in your marriage.

In fact, quite the opposite.

When you make your marriage all about Jesus, then you will experience more joy and self-fulfillment than you would ever hope to experience otherwise.

How is this possible?

Because the Lord is a good, good Father who wants us to experience the joys and satisfaction of relationship - because hey, remember, it points back to Him.

The joy we experience in relationship in marriage is meant to point us to an even better joy, found in the Lord.

As we transition, I want to make this point for your guests…

As we have been talking about the gospel, the love of God, and all of the parallels between earthly marriage and relationship with God, there may be some of you who have never experienced this type of love - and maybe you would like to know God in this way.

I will tell you this:

First, the Lord is not interested in rote ritual or religion - He is interested in relationship - a relationship that transforms every aspect of who you are.

I want to compare it to Colin and Alyssa’s relationship

Colin doesn’t buy Alyssa flowers so that she will love him…

He buys her flowers because she loves him.

It’s the same way with the Lord - we don’t try to live a certain way so that He will love us, we live that way because He does.

Second, the path to know God is found in Christ alone.

There is no other way to get to heaven, except through a bloody cross where a sinless savior gave up His life and stood in our place.

You do not need me, and you do not need a priest - you go straight to the Lord.

If we ask Him to save us, then He stands in our place, and the Lord looks on us and sees the perfection of His Son.

No more stains, no more sins, no more condemnation - no matter what you’ve done - He’s powerful enough to take it all.

Third, It takes a village to raise a spiritual child.

Get in Christian community.

If you do not know where to go, then talk to people and find a Jesus loving, mission focused church.

Colin and Alyssa might be a great resource for you on this - as they can help point you to a great church with the help of their family and church family.

Fourth and finally, if you came to know Jesus at this wedding, or because of the influence that Ben and Bailey have had on you, please tell them that!

I can guarantee that it will be one of the big highlights of the day for them.

VOWS - Colin First, Alyssa Second - WROTE OWN VOWS

At this time, Colin and Alyssa are going to exchange their vows.

Vows are the promises that they are making to one another

They will ultimately rely on the power of the Holy Spirit living in them to empower them to not say these words as a promise to one another, but to embody them.

With the Lord’s strength, they will live faithfully with one another and thereby bring glory to the Father.

They have chosen to write their own vows, so I am going to ask Colin to share those with Alyssa first, and then Alyssa, once Colin has finished, please share your vows with him.

Colin, we will start with you.

I, Colin/Alyssa, --  take you, Alyssa/Colin, -- to be my lawfully wedded (husband/wife), -- my constant friend, -- my faithful partner -- and my love -- from this day forward. -- In the presence of God, -- our family and friends, -- I offer you -- my solemn vow -- to be your faithful partner -- in sickness and in health, -- in good times and in bad, --  in joy and in sorrow. -- I promise -- to love you unconditionally, -- to support you in your goals, -- to honor and respect you, -- to laugh with you -- and cry with you, -- and to cherish you -- for as long as we both shall live.

BLESSING OF THE RINGS

Colin and Alyssa are exchanging rings as a symbol of the covenant that they have made.

Although small, these rings are made of precious metals and are in a perfect circle to signify the preciousness and ongoing nature of your covenant.

The rings do not make you any more or less married, they are simply a reminder to you of the covenant promise that you have made to God and each other.

EXCHANGE RINGS

Colin, place Alyssa’s ring onto her ring finger of her left hand

Alyssa, place Colin’s ring onto his ring finger of his left hand.

“I offer you this ring -- as a symbol of my vow -- and my promise -- to love you unconditionally -- for the rest of our lives. -- Wear it to remind yourself -- of the covenant that we’ve made today -- before the Lord -- and our family and friends.

Communion - quick explanation

Parents prayer over couple - quick explanation

Marital Charge

Before we close, I want to give you a marital charge or exhortation

Together, Keep Christ at the very core of who you are as a married couple.

It is for His glory that you are standing here today.

Your marriage is not about your happiness or your fulfillment - it is about the Lord’s glory.

If you are devoted to HIS glory, He will bring fulfillment and happiness.

But not as this world brings fulfillment and happiness.

it will be a fulfillment and happiness that will be based on HIM that doesn’t fade.

Do not forget:

Forgiveness

Thankfulness

And It’s All About Him!

Colin, my charge to you, as the husband, and the Biblical head of your household is this:

Discover how to be a servant leader to Alyssa, and one day to your children.

Fight to become the Christ-centered shepherd/pastor of the little flock that the Lord entrusts you with.

Be the one who is most concerned with providing your family with fertile soil in which to grow in the Lord - making biblical community, worship, and service a priority and not an afterthought.

Spend the rest of your life trying to find out how you can better love your bride and elevate her.

At the end of the day, the buck stops with you.

When the Lord wants answers about the spiritual condition of your family, He will come to you - not Alyssa.

This is a heavy load to carry, and dare I say, and impossible load to carry on your own.

You will need to rely on the strength of the Lord, and the fellowship of Christian community which will empower you to glorify Him in this role.

Alyssa, my charge to you, as the wife is this:

You are becoming Colin’s biblical helper as described in Ephesians 5.

You will be the most uniquely gifted person on the planet to help Colin as he seeks to live out the will of the Lord.

Colin’s leadership is designed to operate at its best when you are functioning as his biggest supporter, advisor, counselor, lover, and friend.

Resist the temptation to get out in front of his leadership but also fight the urge to stay quiet when you know you need to speak up - but do so with respect and love.

While the Lord comes to Colin to get answers about the Spiritual condition of your family, He holds you accountable for being the best helper you can be.

Guard Colin’s heart and lean on the Lord to give you the wisdom required to fulfill your calling as his bride.

CLOSING COMMENTS

now we come to the fun part… Colin, you got that kisser ready?

By the power entrusted to me by our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, I now pronounce you, husband and wife, Colin you may kiss your bride.

PRESENTATION OF THE BRIDE AND GROOM **Audience Stands**

Would you please stand - May I present to you, Mr. and Mrs. Colin Wiegand

INVITATION TO RECEPTION

On behalf of Colin and Alyssa, I want to invite everyone to a reception to follow.

INSTRUCTIONS

Everyone else is dismissed to the reception immediately following