Making Conversation: This is your life

This is your life

In the 1940s and 50s there was a show called “This is Your Life”. The premise was that the host would surprise a guest and then walk through the guest’s life… and usually there would be surprise appearances from people in the guest’s past that were key parts of the life story. For those that have seen past episodes of “This is Your Life” on YouTube, the most popular episodes are typically Hollywood and television actors and actresses. At the time, though, there were many who weren’t happy about being highlighted on the show. Even in the 50s, Americans were glued to their TVs to watch the trainwrecks and the the sordid details and surprise guests who had secrets from the closet.

But the original idea for the show involved a young soldier who had been severely injured. The point of the original concept was to highlight the good times of the past in order to encourage the soldier looking at the rest of his life in a wheelchair. It wasn’t about what was in the closet. It was about the good times and hope. What “This is your life” came to be was a far cry from its beginnings.

What if everyone knew everything about you?

That thought is very disconcerting. We empathize with the movie stars and pop stars who have everything exposed, even as we are like everyone else who can’t turn our eyes away from the trainwreck. We love the gossip. We watch the rich and famous fall down on TMZ. But what if that were us? Not so much fun. And what’s the number one fear about everyone knowing everything about you? Right. Nobody will like me anymore. People will hate me. People will think badly of me.

This is at the heart of our story this morning. In fact, it’s at the center of the gospel mission in this story. It’s on the lips of the woman who met Jesus, a woman who had everything to hide:

John 4:29 “Come, see a man who told me everything I ever did.”

How does this woman, a notorious woman, get to this point? It’s all part of the conversation she had with Jesus.

We are spending some time in these opening weeks of 2023 talking about conversation. In order to be a church that is bringing more Jesus into more of life, we must be a people of conversation. In fact, we live in a world where people want conversation.

Nathaniel and Jesus: The prejudiced

Nicodemus and Jesus: The seeker

The Samaritan woman and Jesus: The scandalous

One of the most fascinating conversations Jesus has in his biography is this conversation he has with the woman at the well. There are so many details in this story that capture our attention. But I want us to focus on the conversation and what is happening between Jesus and this woman.

The Romance at The Well Stories

Throughout the Bible, there are Romance at the Well stories. In these stories, grooms are looking for brides. And in every one of them, the Groom is someone we know is going to be playing a big role in the story of Israel and in the story of the Messiah who is coming. The bride is always beautiful. The stories almost never have the “happily ever after” stuff… there are hardships these brides and grooms will face. But the Bachelor and Bachelorette stories at these wells is a pattern that combines the ideas of God as the Groom and Israel as the Bride in the context of thirst and water. So when we see Jesus at a well talking with a woman, there is no mistaking that this story is another of these Groom meets Bride stories that are critical to the story of the coming Messiah.

The Water Problem

John, who is writing the story, sets it up with some background. Jesus is traveling to Galilee north of Jerusalem and is traveling through Samaria. Jews typically avoided Samaria. There is debate about whether Jews traveled through Samaria. It was the fastest route in those days. Some believe good Jews would travel the long way to avoid Samaria… there are others who say “no, most Jews still went through Samaria to get to Galilee”. Whatever the reality, John wants us to see that what follows is certainly not something that Jews would do: talk to a Samaritan.

Jesus is tired… “worn out from his journey”. And he shows up at a well. John tells us the historical significance.. this is Jacob’s Well, a well that belong to the ancient patriarch Jacob and had been given to Joseph. It was a significant well in those days. And even today is one of the few places in Israel where we can say for sure… that’s the same well as John is talking about.

So Jesus is tired, he’s thirsty. A Samaritan woman from town shows up. And Jesus says he wants water. He’s not asking a question here.

But she is full of questions:

John 4:9 “How is it that you, a Jew, ask for a drink from me, a Samaritan woman?”

This is just a great way to start a conversation, right? Jesus isn’t supposed to be there. It’s high noon. He’s not supposed to be talking to women alone. He’s not supposed to be talking to Samaritans. Two strikes right there… and a third one is coming into the conversation shortly. I think she is half-shocked he even says anything.

John 4:11 “You don’t even have a bucket, and the well is deep. So where do you get this ‘living water’?”

Another question. She doesn’t know who he is. And she is thinking he’s talking about some kind of magic water. But Jesus is talking about something she needs that she doesn’t know she needs.

John 4:14 “Whoever drinks from the water that I will give him will never get thirsty again. In fact, the water I will give him will become a well of water springing up in him for eternal life.”

Jesus recognizes in this woman a need. He’s about to unpack that, but before He does, he lays out what’s on the line in this conversation: Living Water. Jesus is about to introduce himself to her as the Messiah, and in the Old Testament, the Messiah would come bringing the kind of water that permanently quenches thirst. This water is a gift, a gift from God in the person of Jesus. Jesus himself is the Living water, the river of life, who is fundamentally essential to our lives. This Gift, this living water, has come to Samaria. And it has come for this woman. Jesus was the one who sat down as thirsty.. but he’s already turning the narrative on its head… her thirst is far greater than his own. She is the one who is thirsty. And that’s when this conversation takes a turn.

The Husband Problem

John 4:16-17 “Go call your husband,” he told her, “and come back here.” “I don’t have a husband,” she answered.

Because Jesus is here at high noon. If a guy is there at high noon when he isn’t really supposed to be there, this is the equivalent of the red light district. He’s looking for action. And he knows high noon is reserved for the notorious of the town. Everything is wrong about this story and she is simply playing into the red light context. He offers living water. She’s thinking he’s talking about physical water, so his “go call your husband” must be his way of finding out she’s available.

We are used to thinking about her answer here as a confession. Here’s Jesus to confront her sin, and here she is confessing. There’s another way to look at this given the context. If someone is in a situation in which sex dominates the context, and someone says, “I don’t have a husband,” what’s really behind the statement? Yes. She is misreading the entire conversation. She still does not catch on that this is the Messiah. “I don’t have a husband” instead of “I have a boyfriend” is… Hey, I’m available. Want to get a room?

But Jesus doesn’t go there. He also doesn’t rebuke her. Instead, he simply keeps the convo moving toward her heart:

John 4:18 “For you’ve had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband. What you have said is true.”

She’s flirting. Jesus is obviously not flirting. He’s at this well to find a bride, but it is not the kind of bride that is for physical intimacy. This is a different kind of groom at this well. One who offers living water. One who is here to show her that what she is looking for cannot be satisfied in a string of relationships that are purely about physical want and desire. Clearly, what she thinks she needs out of men is not working for her. What she needs is spiritual hope and spiritual life… living water from a husband who will not disappoint, a husband who will be her contentment. She needs the Messiah. And that’s where the conversation goes...

Come and See

John 4:25-26 “The woman said to him, “I know that the Messiah is coming” (who is called Christ). “When he comes, he will explain everything to us.” Jesus told her, “I, the one speaking to you, am he.””

John 4:29 “Come, see a man who told me everything I ever did.”

This woman finally sees and finally believes what Jesus is after all along. This is the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world. Her sin. This is a different kind of Groom at the well, a Groom who knows all there is to know about her life and then some and still gives her Living Water.

The Romance at The Well Story

The "Everything I ever" has a finality to it. We said earlier that the Bible is full of "Romance at the well" stories. Hero bachelors become grooms and beautiful bachlorettes become brides at these match-making wells, and the rest is redemptive history. In the Old Testament, these were brides. These were the virtuous. Rebekah, Rachel, Zipporah. The groom is no longer without a bride and the bride becomes part of the hero story. These were the Disney romances.

This story with the Samaritan woman fits in with all the other well stories, but with a major, unbelievable twist. Jesus turns all of these stories upside down. And it leaves us in shock. We don’t really want to go here. Because here, Jesus is that Hero Groom who comes looking for his bride and he finds her. But the bride is anything but Disney. The bride isn’t beautiful Rebekah or Rachel or Zipporah. There are no warm fuzzies. You see, Jesus comes looking for a bride who is a whore. Jesus is at the well to make the whore His bride. She has had 5 husbands. Jesus is the last husband. Not literally. But spiritually.

St. Paul says it out loud: Jesus is the groom. The church is his bride. And in this story at the well, this is the church. Jesus comes to a well looking for a bride, a bride who is a whore. His bride isn't pure. His bride has all the wrong motives. His bride is known for immorality.. she isn't married because the guy she is with doesn't trust her. Jesus’ bride is totally the wrong kind. And yet here’s Jesus providing living water as the Last Husband to a thirsty bride who’s had it all wrong. And at the end of it all, she goes running, Come see someone who knows everything I ever did and it doesn’t matter. He still loves me. He gives me living water anyway. Come, see a Husband who is everything I ever wanted.

What if everyone knew everything about you?

One of the secrets about This is Your Life that was uncovered years later… the host and producer of the show, Ralph Edwards, had threatened staff against ever turning the tables and attempting to tell his life story. Edwards was adamant that his life story never be told. He’s like us. We don’t want our story told. We are embarrassed. We are full of shame and guilt. But Jesus, who tells us everything we ever did, does not do it to shame us. He does it so he can give us himself, living water… and make us his bride. We need Jesus to tell us our story. All of it. In all of its sordid detail. It’s why we confess our sin when we are together. We are acknowledging those sordid details.

The church is not perfect. The church is a hospital. The church is totally made up of people like this Samaritan woman. We are all the Samaritan woman in this story. We need Jesus. And Jesus gives us His living water, himself, the Last Husband we will ever need.

Conversations with people who aren’t like us

And then we go running to people who need to hear the good news because we know they are like us. I can imagine this… when the woman goes running to town, and says, “Come See someone who told me everything I ever did, could this be the Messiah?,” what do you think was the response? They probably rolled their eyes. Oh boy, I’ll bet that was some conversation. And they would have been right.

We have good news about a Messiah who is living water for the thirsty, and a groom for those who are unlovely. And 55% of the people we talk to are glad we had that conversation with them.

And most of them are glad to have that conversation because they just want a friend. They want the intimacy of a conversation… someone who will listen. We are taking more of Jesus into more of life and we are doing it through conversation. Jesus met us at a well where we were thirsty and he gives us living water. We meet others at wells all over the RGV… people who are thirstly… people who don’t even know why they are thirsty. And we tell them about someone who tells us everything we ever did and still loves us anyway.

Let’s pray.

Here at this table we have living water. Jesus gives us drink and food in which we are never thirsty again. Thirsty for right relationship with God. Hungry for the bread of life. It’s all here. at this Table.