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You may have seen that the title for this morning’s message is, “You’ve got a friend in me”

Now the odds are, if you read that earlier, you sang it in your head.

I had to fight to keep from singing it right now.

You can probably hear Randy Newman’s voice in your head and you see a cowboy doll and a space toy.

Really, those toy story movies are all about friendship. Andy and his toys, the toys and Andy, and the friendship that really drives the stories, the one between Woody and Buzz.

Played by the iconic Tom Hanks and Tim Allen.

What I didn’t know until recently is that the two actors have become great friends over the years.

They have apparently had several lunches a year since the first movie back in 1995.

At their first lunch Tom made an impression as he stole some of Tim’s fries. Who comes from a family where you don’t do that.

If you pay attention to their real lives you will know that

Tom is CNN…Tim is Fox News

Politically on the opposite end of the spectrum. Their ideas about how life and the world work are dramatically different.

But as I watched an interview with Tim, talking about their weird yet deep friendship, I heard him say this:

"And I don't think I've ever trusted a human being as much as Tom to listen to me and vice versa,"

and they have

“very different opinions on so many things but he’s gotten me to accept he’s a really wonderful engaging person and is the first guy that listens to me and doesn’t judge.”

What power there is in relationship.

Ugh

in 1990 almost 2/3rds of American adults reported having 5 or more CLOSE friendships. half of those or 33 percent of Americans said more than 10. (largest group)

In 2021 that number dropped to about a third at more than 5 and only 13 percent reported 10 or more.

On the other side, in 1990 only 3 percent said none. 2 or less was about 15 percent. In 2021 more than a third of Americans said 2 or less. 12 percent said ZERO. The largest percentage group was 3 friends at 17 percent.

At HCC we believe that our relationship with Jesus is our most important relationship. Yet according to some surveys

82% of Christians only read their bible when at church

Only 2% say they are satisfied with their prayer life. More than 50% spending 15 minutes or less in prayer daily.

Side note - 72% of people responded that busyness and distraction were the biggest impediment to prayer life…maybe that Sunday School class going on right now on the elimination of hurry might be worth making time for...

Bottom line, and I doubt you really need much convincing here: Relationships with God and people are essential…and as a rule, American Christians, struggle to make time, invest…prioritize them.

A disciple is a follower. It takes time and relationship to know someone and do what they do.

A disciple invests in their relationship with God.

If we are going to make disciples…the inverse is true…we have to have relationships that allow people to see Jesus in us.

Mature disciples discipling other disciples…means relationships in here.

All disciples introducing people to following Jesus…means relationships out there.

What needs to shift in us…in you…in me…to follow Jesus in making disciples?

Aha!

The life of Jesus changes everything. When we watch him, and follow him and do what he did…we learn.

You see this is what we know about Jesus and relationships.

Jesus’ relationship with the Father was intimate, he often says things like:

John 5:19 “Jesus replied, “Truly I tell you, the Son is not able to do anything on his own, but only what he sees the Father doing. For whatever the Father does, the Son likewise does these things.”

Jesus, the word of God incarnate, the Son, fully God and fully man was still fully committed to his connection to the Father

And what does this say about his relationship with his disciples?

An attempt has been made on the life of Jesus in Judea, but when Jesus gets word that Lazarus has died, he tells his disciples they are going back.

They bring up the reality, but Jesus affirms the plan. and says “Let’s go.”

John 11:16 “Then Thomas (called “Twin”) said to his fellow disciples, “Let’s go too so that we may die with him.””

Who are the people, not family, that you would not only die to save…but go to die with?

Not to mention that within this group were guys who might wish violence on each other normally due to conflicting politics, are somehow…just fine. Nothing happens that any of the gospel writers felt a need to take note of. No verse in Mark that mentions, “On that day Simon the Zealot attempted to stab Matthew the tax collector”

Even more, read the book of Acts, He’s not there anymore. What are these people who followed Jesus doing?

MAKING DISCIPLES!

Jesus’ disciples loved him. Followed him. Kept doing what he did. The only thing that drives that kind of loyalty is relationship.

If we want to be disciples of Jesus who make disciples of Jesus we need to follow Jesus in the way of relationship. With God, with other disciples, and with the lost.

This morning, as we follow Jesus in his relationships, I want you to ask a couple questions

one: What is one way you can take a step toward Jesus in this area of relationship?

two: What is one way you can help someone else take a step toward Jesus?

Whee!

So what is it about the way Jesus engaged in relationship that made disciples who made disciples?

With The Father

In preparation

Luke 4:1-2 “Then Jesus left the Jordan, full of the Holy Spirit, and was led by the Spirit in the wilderness for forty days to be tempted by the devil. He ate nothing during those days, and when they were over, he was hungry.”

Luke 4:14-15 “Then Jesus returned to Galilee in the power of the Spirit, and news about him spread throughout the entire vicinity. He was teaching in their synagogues, being praised by everyone.”

Before Jesus begins ministry “in the power” he needed to prepare, to be tested.

He needed to know how deep his trust with God went. It’s in our moments of testing that this comes out.

That revelation shows us where we need to grow.

Luke 6:12-13 “During those days he went out to the mountain to pray and spent all night in prayer to God. When daylight came, he summoned his disciples, and he chose twelve of them, whom he also named apostles:”

Which option deepens relationship?

God there is a job opportunity...

God there is a house for sale…God we’re struggling to know how to parent…forgive…restore...

A God who knows you, loves you, and knows what will move you forward and when you need to take a break.

Which leads us to Jesus practiced being present with the Father to prepare and:

Mark 6:30-32 “The apostles gathered around Jesus and reported to him all that they had done and taught. He said to them, “Come away by yourselves to a remote place and rest for a while.” For many people were coming and going, and they did not even have time to eat. So they went away in the boat by themselves to a remote place,”

after he commissions the twelve, he sends them out to do the work of ministry. They preached, they saw God heal and restore and they were excited.

And when they come back to Jesus, he wants them to get away and be with God.

Who is old enough to have had a walkman? Oh, man, portable music…so cool.

I loved mine…but batteries were a luxury item. I had to plan my steps well in order to keep the tunes flowing.

Today, I buy costco packs of AA batteries as a reaction to the battery scarcity I endured in my youth.

What happens to a cassette player when the batteries get low?

That’s right, Huey Lewis and News drop a half step in pitch and the Heart of Rock and Roll becomes a ballad.

It slows down.

There is a renewal of soul and spirit that can only be filled by God’s presence.

In my high school days, I used to plan out my Jesus experiences like I did for my batteries.

Church on Sunday will fill me up. Then I’ve got to get through Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday before Youth group tops up the tank…and then it’s just Thursday and Friday to get through…I’ll be empty Saturday, but that’s whatever…I’ll slide into Sunday.

When I realized this wasn’t cutting it, that listening to a sermon Sunday was not all I needed to get through to Wednesday, I discovered prayer and devotional time.

Relational time with God renews, and that’s important especially when we need:

When he heard his cousin, John the Baptist was killed, same story, he needed renewal in his grief and got alone.

One more on this before we shift to people.

To be strengthened

It was the night Jesus was betrayed, and we see here the humanity of Jesus.

Luke 22:39-44 “He went out and made his way as usual to the Mount of Olives, and the disciples followed him. When he reached the place, he told them, “Pray that you may not fall into temptation.” Then he withdrew from them about a stone’s throw, knelt down, and began to pray, “Father, if you are willing, take this cup away from me—nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done.” Then an angel from heaven appeared to him, strengthening him. Being in anguish, he prayed more fervently, and his sweat became like drops of blood falling to the ground.”

God I want something different than what is. But I want your will more.

Jesus modeled by his need and vulnerability with the father where we can go to get assurance and strength when we face those things we’d rather skip over.

Bottom line: Luke 5:16 “Yet he often withdrew to deserted places and prayed.”

The life of Jesus shows intentional relationship with God. Presence. And he also modeled a practice of presence:

Disciples

You know something fun, it’s really hard to find a verse that says, “Jesus hung out with his disciples.”

Luke 8:1 kind of get there

Luke 8:1 “Afterward he was traveling from one town and village to another, preaching and telling the good news of the kingdom of God. The Twelve were with him,”

But that’s for the same reason there is only one verse that talks about Jesus eating breakfast. You don’t have to say things that just are.

Everywhere Jesus was, they were. They shared meals, they talked, they probably told jokes, and he taught them.

I have had a few of those friendships, I think of Andy

It was first because there was a need. Andy struggled with his mental health. He had come back home to his parents because of it.

He was finally getting his own apartment and his dad asked if I could just check in on him here and there.

This was shortly after my brother-in-law introduced me to disc golf.

So I took Andy with me.

Over the next years Andy became a surrogate part of our family. He walked with us through the hardest season of our lives.

He became what Proverbs calls:

Proverbs 18:24 ...a friend who stays closer than a brother.

Andy is now married with kids in Idaho, we don’t see each other much…but when we talk, we argue about who needed who the most.

I discipled Andy, I invited him to serve Jesus with me in youth ministry, I showed him an imperfect husband and a father can still be a good one.

He showed me loyal friendship and gave encouragement and strength when I needed it most.

Here’s the challenge for us, maybe especially guys, but ladies I don’t think you’re too far off: Who are we investing in, time, vulnerability, consistency to build those kinds of friendships?

In a smaller church, there is a sense that you can get to know everybody... a little…but who do you know deeply? Who could you sit down with and share at a heart level your deep level hurts and hopes?

Jesus modeled time and effort, and consistency with his disciples because that is what it takes.

Jesus didn’t just need buddies, he was starting a movement. So he slowed his life pace enough to give his relationships with his disciples what they needed.

I asked the men at breakfast yesterday a question that I’ll pose to all of us: If you HAD to disciple someone or be discipled by someone, to begin a mentorship relationship with someone in the church this afternoon.

If I said, “Before you leave, find your mentee or mentor, and set up your first coffee to talk about following Jesus”

Is there anyone who knows you well enough to be willing to either be your mentor or mentee? Anyone you know well enough to ask?

This is cool…you can. You just have to choose to invest.

Get in a life group, that will build you a group of relationships

Invite someone to lunch after church, easy.

You can have deep level friendships again, right here at HCC…but not if you wait for someone else to take the first step.

But if we are going to be disciples who make disciples we also need to see how Jesus built relationships with:

In the Field

And Jesus was very good at this.

John 4:7-9 “A woman of Samaria came to draw water. “Give me a drink,” Jesus said to her, because his disciples had gone into town to buy food. “How is it that you, a Jew, ask for a drink from me, a Samaritan woman?” she asked him. For Jews do not associate with Samaritans.”

This story says so much about Jesus…about God’s love for people without exception.

She was culturally/socially unacceptable because she was a woman

Jewish men, especially rabbis, did not have conversations with women. It’s easy through our eyes to judge that culture, but what is far more valuable is to see what Jesus did despite that culture.

In a similar vein:

She was ethnically unacceptable because she was a Samaritan

Samaritans represented the reasons why the people of Israel lived under foreign occupation. They were half Jews who had betrayed their convenant with God.

they were the cultural enemy of Jesus’ people.

We have those today too. People from countries, faiths, political ideologies, and so much more. We are great, us humans at creating tribes, and then mapping out who is on our tribe’s side and who is against us.

Jesus didn’t play that game.

She was also morally unacceptable because she had gone through 5 husbands and was now shacking up with what could be number 6

Jesus doesn’t hesitate to jump into a relational moment with her…knowing her flaws completely.

Where does he start? Where does evangelism start for Jesus?

Moral change? Behavior changes? NOPE!

verse 10 John 4:10 “Jesus answered, “If you knew the gift of God, and who is saying to you, ‘Give me a drink,’ you would ask him, and he would give you living water.””

He starts with himself.

Who do you wish would know Jesus?

Give them yourself. Give them your friendship.

And we’ll keep coming back to this forever…be intentional to be a disciple maker IN that friendship.

Not to win an argument. Even if you win, you lose.

Not to gain favor with God. That’s done.

But because you love them, you don’t want them to stop sinning, you want them to know the love of God that transforms sinners!

This does not come natural! In fact, his disciples…they struggled with it.

(no slide)

John 4:27 “Just then his disciples arrived, and they were amazed that he was talking with a woman. Yet no one said, “What do you want?” or “Why are you talking with her?””

He stayed there 2 days, and because of this Samaritan woman’s testimony, the text says, “many believed” then spending time with him, “many more believed”.

Why did Jesus do this? why did Jesus take days out of his schedule with his disciples to be here?

They needed to see him invest deeply and relationally into the lives of people not like them, if they were going to change the world.

Jesus showed his disciples through his life the importance, the essentialness, the value of

Relationship TIME and energy with God

AND that if we are going to be his disciples…we will invest in relationships with one another (so we are raising up disciples) and those outside the church (to make new disciples)

Conclusion

Tim Allen and Tom Hanks. A cowboy and a space toy. It’s not what they have in common…it’s a choice. It’s how they treat each other. It’s the way they allow each other to be…wrong without disrespect or disconnect.

Buzz doesn’t need Woody to put on a pair of wings and get a laser, and Buzz isn’t required to wear a cowboy hat.

Relationships, whether with God or people require allowing people to be who they are.

We allow God to be God. We trust he knows, and trust he loves.

But we also allow people to be who they are and where they are…we receive them and love them, and give them ourselves right there.

Not with an expectation we’ve created for what happens now, but we love them.

In that love, we have the spiritual conversations, we serve them, we work with them. We introduce them to the Jesus who called us to love.

What changes?

Application

As the worship team comes back up, I want to give you a couple challenges.

1. Practice presence with God.

If this is old news to you, if you have a thriving connection with God, seek him for how you can go deeper.

For most of us, remembering only 2% feel satisfied with their prayer life...

Engage God’s word more. Not more content necessarily, but take time in it.

Then add prayer into places in your life as it exists now.

Most of us struggle to add a “thing”. But all of us can add to things that already exist.

As you walk out your door, make a practice of asking God to go with you.

As you clock in, thank God for the gift of being able to work and provide.

When you wake up your kids, ask God to help you see them through his eyes.

As you drink your morning coffee, praise the Lord for another day (and for that magical bean he gave to the world for our joy)

You have your things you do every day.

Do what you would do to invite anyone else into friendship. Invite God to join you in those things.

What you might find is that is starts to get easier to carve out time that’s just for you and Him.

RightNow Media has great resources on prayer

2. Practice presence with people.

Let me give you an easy step that’s hard to do.

Next time you share a meal with people, keep your phone in your pocket.

Be there with them.

Harder one. Make time for people. Believers and non-believers.

I know time is always challenging.

I don’t want to pile on to your schedule.

But, if you don’t have time for a life group, don’t have time for meeting and investing in friends inside the church, don’t have time to connect with non-believers in a way that opens the door for conversations about Jesus...

Then it might be time to audit your time.

You need time with God.

You need time to be discipled.

You need time to make disciples.

All of that happens in the time it takes to build relationships.

Let’s pray.