Word to the Wise: Speech

Intro

Share a few more sayings from “Wise and Otherwise”

*Thai, Nigerian, German, Danish, Polish

But we are looking squarely at the book of Proverbs to teach us this morning what wise speech looks like

Pray

God is the Source

Source of wisdom (Proverbs 2:6)

Not a human construction or achievement

Means this is not a self help talk

“Source” as continual flow (like a river)

When we truly worship God, His wisdom flows through us

Source of wise speech (Proverbs 2:7)

God’s speech is an example, but more than an example

How He uses His word is what we emulate; become like Him

So, how does God speak? According to Scripture, His Word is:

It is living and active, always accomplishing His purpose, full of life, always true, flawless, a lamp to our feet, came down to earth as our salvation, eternal and everlasting

Does your speech reflect God’s Word? Does it flow from Him?

That is the question we take with us to Proverbs

Your Heart and Tongue are Connected

“Speech and prayer are the two most obvious external signs of what it means to be made in God’s image. They enable us to live life in relationship with the Lord and with each other” (David A. Hubbard)

Our words are incredibly important

Become an indicator that we are tapped into God as our source of wisdom through true worship of Him (God’s image)

Are crucial in having relationship and community

How we speak to each other at SBF can truly make or break this community… so listen up!

Another way to show this importance is to acknowledge that your heart and tongue are connected

Proverbs uses poetic parallelism to make this point (Cf. Prov. 10:20)

Tongue (or speech) contrasted with the heart; happens repeatedly in Proverbs and shows this connection

Jesus Himself hammers home this point in Luke 6:45.

Almost like our hearts “overflow” out of our mouths… eeew!

Wise speech doesn’t begin with the mouth; it begins with the heart

What do you love? What do you value? What do you watch and read about? Who do you worship? Where do you get your wisdom?

Once again, it is vital that God is the source of our wisdom, and that He abides in our heart

Be Slow to Speak and Quick to Listen

There are some disciplines we can still work on with our words as God works on our heart

We are still involved in the process! We just need to ensure we get to the root cause before we deal with symptoms

Discipline #1: Be slow to speak (Proverbs 17:27)

This proverb makes me uncomfortable… because I am bad at it

Any other talkative people out there? Yikes!

Being talkative isn’t the problem; being disrespectful is

Not leaving room for others to speak, interrupting people, always making a conversation about yourself, needing to have the final word...

These are not just bad habits; they send the signal that you care about yourself more than others. This is unwise

*Share about Lorne teaching the economy of words*

Let’s work on this together!

This Proverb also teaches that a wise person who spares his words “is of a cool spirit”

Being restrained in speech can take down the temperature in a room or any situation

*Talk about learning to be a “non-anxious presence”*

It is helpful to be a calm spirit

There is one more benefit about being slow to speak… people will assume you are wise because you won’t prove otherwise

Cf. Proverbs 17:28.

Fake it till you make it! Can’t be wise, then be quiet and let people assume the best

Let’s face it, we have all put our feet in our mouths before

*Tell about my Brian Regan “you too” moment*

Discipline #2: Be quick to listen

These Proverbs don’t speak directly about being a good listener, but that is exactly the practice that is required to be a restrained speaker

You can’t speak and listen at the same time… duh!

So if you want to speak less, focus on listening more

Being a good listener sends all the right messages that being over-talkative does not:

You leave room for others to speak, don’t interrupt people, allow a conversation to be about others, don’t need to have the final word...

The result is one of respect; where others feel valued, cared for and heard

This takes active listening: “Active listening requires you to listen attentively to a speaker, understand what they're saying, respond and reflect on what's being said, and retain the information for later. This keeps both listener and speaker actively engaged in the conversation.”

More than just not speaking; it is concentrating on the other

*Share about not formulating a response ahead of time*

Cf. James 1:19.

What have we learned? Focus on listening and your speech will follow.

This is something I want to commit to do better as your pastor, and you can help!

*Invite others to come to office, call on the phone. Remind that I listen better with coffee (1 cream 1 sugar)*

Hurt or Heal?

One of the dumbest sayings ever is, “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me”

Completely and utterly untrue, as experience shows and Proverbs teaches

Cf. Proverbs 12:18; our words can either hurt or heal

Capacity to hurt

Described as the “piercings of a sword;” terrible and horrific

*Tell story of “muppety quality” to voice; with example*

NEVER underestimate the damage that can be done by hurtful words

Capacity to heal

The way we speak can also be life-giving, and bring healing to those who have been wounded

*Share about my encouragement folder and my parents saying they are proud of me*

NEVER underestimate the healing that can be done by wise words

Will you choose your words that hurt, or heal?

It is hypocritical of us to do both (Cf. James 3:10-12).

It goes back to the source; out of the abundance our heart our words flow

This has personal and collective impact

Remember, speech is a crucial aspect to all of our relationships (with others and with God)

If you hurt those around you, you will find yourself alone

I would encourage us to consider what impact our speech has on our spiritual family here at SBF:

Are we committed to healing words? Do we take great pains to avoid hurting others with what we say, both to their face and (most importantly) behind their back?

We all have a role to play to safeguard our community, and how we use our words in the frontline of this battle.

Conclusion

Our speech matters:

Our words are connected to our hearts; we must be slow to speak and quick to listen, and understand our words have the capacity to hurt or heal

Here is your second “Word to the Wise:”

A few, select words make for healthy relationships.

Pray