Purity in Jesus

Gidday Everyone,

Welcome to each of you this morning, it’s getting down to crunch time for us and we are so thankful to each of you in so many ways, praise God for his goodness and provision.

My name is Joe, and it’s my privilege to preach to you again this morning, my last sermon at Grace for at least a year. Thank you _________ for the prayer this morning as we prepare our hearts for the 7th commandment. You shall not commit adultery.

You might wonder why did Joe choose this commandment as a stand-alone sermon, as his farewell sermon? I chose it because as often as I talk with families or anyone really, a common concern is for the culture of today and all of its teaching on sexual ethics that trouble our minds and particularly the minds of the youth. So in part, I’ve chosen it to hopefully help each of you to engage in this topic. I hope as a community we would stand strong in God’s word for the sake of the next generation who desperately need a counter-cultural perspective of sexual ethics.

Today's passage is to look at how we are to honor each other in our sexual desires through the purity of marriage. This isn’t a marriage sermon, although it might definitely sound like it. It’s a sermon on the ethics of sexual behavior in the promised land. I hope you will see that we have a lot to learn from this passage still today as we live in Jesus.

As I mentioned last week. The book of Deuteronomy is God’s instructions to his people on how they must behave while they live in the land. Its commands are spoken in a way that promotes the well-being of God’s people for life in the land. Last week we looked at the provision of cities of refuge for the sin of murder. This week we are looking at the seventh command, though shall not commit adultery.

While the theme of this message is sex, parents, I would encourage the preteens and teenagers to listen carefully to this message as Moses was preaching this to the entire congregation of Israel, families with kids included. My hope is that your teenagers would hear God’s word in how he commands us to behave sexually. Particularly in contrast to what our culture is teaching.

So what is God teaching us?

We will unpack this passage in three parts.

God’s plan for well-being in the land

Violations of the married and single

What’s all the fuss about?

God’s Plan for well-being in the land

God’s word is God’s revelation of himself to us through the history of his people. Last week we learned that the God of Israel is a God of justice. This week we learn that the God of Israel is a God of Purity. Same God, just more revelation of his goodness. That is our foremost context. God’s revelation of himself.

Did you realize that God provides the marriage covenant before the fall in the Garden of Eden? I sometimes forget that point. I often forget about Genesis chapter 2. It’s like the bible begins with God making the earth, the garden, and all the things. Then sin came into it and it all went crazy. But that is because I don’t often reflect on Genesis chapter 2.

This important chapter sets up Adam and Eve as being united in marriage. It ends with the words:

The man said,

“This is now bone of my bones

and flesh of my flesh;

she shall be called ‘woman,’

for she was taken out of man.”

That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.

Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.

God had created mankind to unite as one man and one woman together in marriage. Marriage is from God, he designed it and he wrote the rule book for it. Marriage is God’s and there is nothing that anyone can do to take that away from him.

Further, It is through marriage that children are to be brought into the world. That is what God has set up in Genesis for the ongoing growth of humanity. Before the fall, because it is a part of God’s good earth that he made. He made humankind to be fruitful and multiply and it was very good.

This is the second level of context of our passage today. First level: God’s revelation of himself. Second level: Marriage is from God and it is good.

The third level of context is that Deuteronomy is a book of commands that lead to well-being with the repeated phrase throughout the book “Follow my commands that life may go well for you.”

And the last level of context is that this passage sits in a wider exposition of God’s seventh command in Moses' speech before Israel enters the promised land.

It is interesting that God would provide this list of ‘if this, then that’ scenarios. I hope that, as we go through them you will see the principle that sits behind these statements of violations. First, we should note that across the six scenarios, there are two distinct categories.

The first category is violations concerning married women. The second group is concerning unmarried women. There are a lot of things to note here. Follow along with me, as we see how much God cares for not only marriage but also the dignity of women and men.

It may surprise some people, particularly those who resonate with cultural movements like feminism or pro-choice groups. Groups that advocate for the dignity of their followers, that God’s laws described here in chapter 22 promote the exact kind of dignity that these groups dream of. This is an important chapter for our current culture, and I hope you take that away this morning. That God cares deeply for the dignity of women and men which is why marriage is so important to God.

But the difficult part is that we don’t see it all expressed in this chapter. A chapter that is strictly judicial for it is dealing with scenarios of violations. What it doesn’t give is the surrounding context for each offense. There’s only so much we can read from these passages and we should not dare stretch them further. For God is good and if we promote any ounce of evil from these passages we have read them wrong. So with that in mind, let’s get into it.

The first three ‘if this, then that’ statements are concerning the married woman.

Violations of the married

1) The first scenario, verses 13-19, is in regard to a husband who dislikes his wife. He sleeps with her and then slanders her. He makes a claim against her virginity. This is a very serious allegation.

Because a husband is to be the first defender of the wife, as Genesis 2 explains, both man and woman have become one flesh. However, in this scenario, the slander is coming from the man who should be treating his wife as himself. That is an important feature of God’s good design that this man is violating, he is not loving her as himself, and so this situation is not good for him and not good for her.

The passage goes on to explain how the situation is to be managed with the inclusion of the wife's parents and the elders of the town. Then a judicial process is to be undertaken.

The family gets involved because an accusation of sex before marriage is to imply some onus on the parents. Particularly because in the cultural custom of the day a form of dowry is paid, 50 shekels of silver to the parents of a virgin to be wed. That is the standard custom. So an accusation like this implies improper actions of the parents, either in their duty to raise their daughter or their deceit when accepting the 50 shekels.

Just as a note here, cultural customs are something that we ought to take time to understand before we make any judgment on them. I know that out of context these shekels would be an argumentative point in a conversation today. However, it’s a common aspect of the ancient Eastern world, that a man would pay roughly 7 years' wages to marry a virgin daughter. That’s significant and before anyone thinks that is like treating a woman like property to be traded, we must not look at these customs with our judgemental eyes, but rather understand that God is working with a culture that existed, using what is common to them.

Also worth noting is that Non-virgins could still be married of course, but you wouldn’t exchange 50 shekels. This is simply a society that places a high value on virginity, something that we scarcely see today.

So the man slandering his wife is also slandering his wife's family. But through the defense of her father, she is proven a virgin at the time of marriage through a tradition of keeping the sheet used on the wedding night. This tradition was a way of honoring the bride. The parents would store the wedding night cloth in what was seen as a display of a good relationship between all parties. The actual cloth didn’t need to have any stains, rather it was symbolic to simply have it. Through this provision, the bride would be honored and the husband would be proven as a slanderer.

In this case, the man's sin is redeemable, he gets punished for his slander. Which is understood to be a lashing of some amount and financially to the tune of 100 shekels, or roughly 14 years' wages. And must commit to his marriage.

And you might think, far out Joe, that seems like the recipe for an abusive relationship. How can God force her to live with a man who hates her? Or at the very least potentially resents her for the lashings and the 100 shekel fine.

Firstly, God’s law is good. If we read this looking for the bad, we aren’t reading it right.

Secondly, there is implied repentance in this scenario, after all the lashings and fine is paid the man returns to his bride not resentful but rather apologetic.

Thirdly, this is the extreme end of the situation. This is the bottom line as it were. So be smart in your relationship, and work out your dislikes and faults together. The point is not to get here! Don’t find yourself in this situation.

Today the process would look different, but the principle of working things out is the same. And no, this is not a passage to say you have to stay in an abusive relationship if someone suggests that or even mentions it. Don’t listen, because abuse is not okay, abuse is not God-honoring. If you or someone you know is feeling trapped in an abusive relationship, I encourage you to seek help. I want to stress that In this passage the man’s behavior has been corrected through discipline and a fine. Further abuse would not be tolerated in Israel.

2) The second scenario then, verses 20-21, is similar except this time the wife's parents do not vouch for her, they do not produce the wedding night cloth and she is found to be guilty. This sin is punishable by death.

There is so much in this situation that has gone wrong in order to get to this point and we see that displayed in the location where she is to be stoned.

Outside her father's house.

That’s significant. In Deuteronomy 6, God makes it clear that parents are to teach their children in the ways of the lord. In the context of their own love for the Lord. God says teach my laws out of love for me for what I have done for you. The laws are not burdensome nor restrictive, but they are rather instructions to live in freedom, to live life well according to the God who made life.

Parents of Israel are to teach their children to love the Lord their God. The fact that this scenario in Chapter 22 demands the bride to be stoned in front of her father is a reminder of a parent's responsibility in the ongoing growth of God’s people.

3) The third and shortest scenario, verse 22, is the most straightforward. A man and woman committing the most obvious form of adultery that we can all understand today. Both have not loved God, they have not committed to their marriage vows, and both must face the just judgment of their sin. Whether the man was married or not, the woman was. And in this case, it was consensual and so must be purged.

The next three are concerning the unmarried woman.

Violations of the single

1) The first in this second category, the fourth of 6, verses 23-24, We learn that Israel is to treat any woman betrothed in marriage as if she were already in marriage in regards to sexual behavior. In this scenario, like the previous one, she is consenting to sexual relations with a man who is not her husband, if even her future husband and so results in a judgment for both.

2) The 5th scenario, verses 25-27, is that of a woman betrothed in marriage but she is taken while in a field. This scenario is describing the nonconsensual act of sex that we call rape which is abhorrent to God. We examined the result of the murderer who sits and waits last week. Their judgment was death. Here, the woman had no one to help her and her assaulter must be put to death for his actions.

3) The last scenario, verses 28-29 like the first is particularly uncomfortable to read on the face of it. However, I want us to look at this from the perspective of God’s plan for well-being in the land. And also, read in light of Exodus Chapter 22 V 17,

“If a man seduces a virgin who is not pledged to be married and sleeps with her, he must pay the bride price, and she shall be his wife. If her father absolutely refuses to give her to him, he must still pay the bride price for virgins.”

We see that this is about the principle of attempting marriage first, whether consensual or nonconsensual.

For the scenario in Deuteronomy though, there are other issues that surround it.

The first issue, we have a woman who is in a vulnerable position. A position that if Israel was walking according to God’s ways would never occur. However, sin exists and Israel did not walk in God’s ways always and therefore a woman can, unfortunately, find herself in such a vulnerable position, as we, unfortunately, know all too well is still true today. I want to emphasize that when God designed humanity the world was a place where women were not vulnerable. This is a result of sin.

We can read two intimate accounts of this nonconsensual act in the Old Testament, Dinah in Genesis, and Tammar in Samuel. In both scenarios, the brothers of the assaulted woman end up murdering the abuser out of hatred for him. And that’s the kind of response that we expect to see when this situation happens. It’s important to say here, that the bible does not condone rape. It simply deals with it.

And I want to add that the woman does not have to marry the man if the father absolutely disagrees. That’s important to understand how the passages complement each other, particularly the principle they are invoking. You see the idea here is that when sex has occurred, you ought to live as though you are married and make an honest attempt at that. Try to understand this from the perspective of how good God is. That marriage can still flourish even in the worst of beginnings. However, if there is only malice in the man, then a father may protect his daughter from having to live with him.

The Exodus passage extends the principle to include single men and women who consensually have sex with each other. The result is that they must marry. Because marriage is the only place where God allows us to express our sexual desires it’s what he designed it to include. Also, the single man must honor the value of the virgin he slept with and pay the family. We are to value sex in such a way that we desire strongly to be married in order to experience the joy of sex. Otherwise, if you're engaging in consensual sex you are devaluing what God has made precious. You are not honoring the other person nor God’s creation.

Consensual casual sex is a problem. So if you’re in this situation, then this passage will no doubt put some weight onto your heart, and I’d encourage you to pray about it. Talk to another Christian who can speak into your life. God’s design for marriage is good, and his law is good, follow God’s commands so that life may go well for you.

Another important note is that these Deuteronomic scenarios carry an implied repentance of the abuser. Particularly in the scenarios where the offender gets to live, there is healing that takes place. It’s not stated that everyone lives happily ever after because that's essentially the message of the entire book of Deuteronomy. Follow all that God commands so that life may go well for you. These are just snippets of a situation. Know that even in Deuteronomy God heals the hearts of the abuser and is able to grow them in marriage.

So what’s all this fuss about? What does it have to do with us today? Our society has different laws for all of this, are we to stone adulterers today?

Good question, and we must understand a few things that come through in Jesus’ teaching and his conversations with regard to the law of committing adultery.

First, we have to understand who we are in these passages because if we don’t do that, we won’t appreciate who Jesus is in these passages. We probably don’t want to admit it, but whether you are single or married, you’ve most likely committed adultery, and probably even this year. The reality is that Jesus teaches us that whoever looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery in his heart. That’s a principle, it applies to the ladies too, you are not free from lust because Jesus said the man.

Jesus is explaining the depth of Israel’s sin of adultery, to cut to the heart. So when we read back through Deuteronomy 22, we must read that and panic. Goodness, I certainly panic, I’m the guy angry at my wife. I’m the guy who spent years looking at porn. I’m the guy who slept with other women before marriage. And even if I didn’t sleep with them, I thought about it.

I could not pay the price of my sin, I don’t have enough shekels in my bank, I don’t have the strength to take the lashings, and honestly deserve to die for the sin of my heart. For the sin of my youthful actions. Jesus has put a billboard of my guilt in the passages of Deuteronomy when he applied this to my heart. I am a guilty man. And I assume all of you are guilty also, I’d be surprised if you weren’t

I need forgiveness. We need forgiveness. And it’s amazing that God loves us so much that he would provide that forgiveness by sending Jesus to take the punishment for our sins. Jesus pays the penalty for sin through the lashing of his body and death on the cross. I can look to Jesus and say, God, I am a sinful man, I have lusted after another, I am an adulterer. Forgive me.

And you know what, he does. He does forgive and more than that it is through forgiveness that he heals our hearts. He has healed mine. I was a man addicted to women in my singleness. While living in rebellion against God, I thrived on the sexual offerings of this world.

Through God’s forgiveness and mercy, he turned a man who loved porn and women, into a married man living in obedience to him. God provided me with a wife who would spend the first years of our marriage bringing me back to Christ each time I sinned. Vanessa who, when I met her I said, I can never truly give you all of me. Because I spent my youth giving myself to many others. Like a puzzle, I handed out pieces of me to any woman who would take it. So I don’t have a complete puzzle to offer you in marriage.

Ness responded to say, yes you do Joe, your puzzle is complete because Jesus fills the gaps. Jesus completes your puzzle.

And my goodness Vanessa was right.

Our sexual behavior is redeemable because Jesus redeems us fully. His work on the cross pays that price. And through the outpouring of his spirit, we can live a new life. A life that honors God with our sexual desires. A life that would rather cut off its hand than sin in lust. Gauge out an eye rather than give in to temptation. It is God who gives us healing in our hearts through his spirit so that we can stand up against the torrent of sexual immorality around us.

Our world loves sexually immoral behavior. It sells it, it promotes it, and people spend their lives devoted to it.

This is what we are to learn from Deuteronomy. That our sexual behavior matters, we live in Jesus, as Israel was to live in the land. We should do all we can to honor marriage. For the single and the married. We can all honor marriage in the way we spend our lives together as a body in Christ. If you are dwelling in the sin of adultery as spoken by Jesus. Deal with it! Take your sin to him and repent. Maybe it means you need to turn off your phone at night, or maybe it means you need to move out and get married.

Certainly, it’s harder to go backward in any situation to do less of something you have already started, which is why we as a church community should seek to have a culture of compassion for each other as we struggle with what it means for us. But never a culture of ignorance of what God’s word is saying. No one’s perfect, and that’s the point. When we encourage a brother or sister out of their adultery, we must do so with the words of God, not our own judgment. We need to help each other, through forgiveness and prayer so that God would shape our hearts.

So disciple one another through prayer and scripture, always bringing the weaker back to the cross. In different seasons and different contexts, we may be that weaker person. So everyone should also seek to be discipled and commit to living for God.

And know that marriage is not the pinnacle of life. But rather the only appropriate way to express our sexual desires. It’s worth noting that Jesus an unmarried man, would honor marriage through his obedience to God. Jesus obeyed God and withheld from sex all his life. That is to say, a life lived well is not one that requires sex. Jesus lived a perfect life yet never lay with a woman.

So I’m not saying that marriage is everything and you have to get married.

I am saying that if you want to have sex, then yes, marriage is your only option.

So as we consider that God loves purity, he wants his people to dignify each other in their sexual behavior. And so we must ask ourselves, in light of cultural norms of sexual behavior,

Is my watching pornography dignifying to women?

Is my choice to sleep with anyone I please dignifying to them? Or even to myself? Am I honoring the body that God gave me? Or am I using it like I am with other people's bodies?

Is watching that movie or tv show promoting the marriage honoring sexual values that I live for?

And there are many more questions to ask ourselves as we navigate the world around us.

So to the youth. I’ve covered some pretty major topics here. I’m sure your parents are looking forward to an awkward chat later on. But youth, you are the target market for much of society’s sexual movements.

Know that God has a good plan for life. He knows the power of sex, he made it good. But sex is only a good thing when done in God’s way.

When done according to his design, it is very good - that’s Genesis 2.

And God is so amazing, that even if we find ourselves swept up in the culture of our time, engaging in sexually immoral behavior. God can and will redeem that. That is what Jesus has done on the cross. But even though you will be forgiven, don’t tempt yourself, and don’t go through the experience of finding out the hollowness of the world's sexual ethics on your own. As someone whose been there, it’s truly unfulfilling! Listen to God, his plan is good!!

But also know that we will receive judgment if we live in the land, live in Jesus, and continue in our sin of adultery for Jesus has told us to go and live a new life.

I’ll end with an important conversation Jesus had with Jewish leaders in John 8 1-11.

The Jewish leaders bring a woman who has been caught in the act of adultery to Jesus in order to test him. They wanted Jesus to say she must die because according to the law of Moses, she is guilty and deserves death. But that would get him in trouble with Roman law. Anyway, Jesus knows all their tricks and puts it back on them. He says, “he who is without sin should cast the first stone.” eventually they all wither away leaving just the woman and Jesus to talk.

The amazing part of this sequence is that Jesus does something so radically different to what anyone expected. He says “has no one condemned you? neither do I condemn you, go now and leave your life of sin.”

In this short story, Jesus heals her. The only way she is able to leave her life of sin is that she has been healed of sin. She has been forgiven.

For Jesus to not condemn her, he has instead forgiven her. And not just to give her a free pass, but told to no longer live the way she lives, “leave your life of sin.”

That is the essential element from this passage of Deuteronomy that we need to hear today.

We need to hear that although we are deserving of death due to our lust, due to our dishonoring of the marriage covenant. We have been forgiven. So we must leave our life of sin. Purge the evil from our lives.

I hope that this passage has been an encouragement to you. If you feel uncomfortable about any of it, please do reach out for help. Youth, speak to your parents, or if you find that uncomfortable, reach out to your elders and leaders, they love you and want a life of well-being for you. For everyone, remember that life lived God’s way brings well-being, let’s have a church that promotes the value and dignity of women and men through the way it stands up against the sexually immoral behavior around, not through the judgment of others but through a life committed to God’s word. Let God do the judging, let us do the living in the land, let us live well in Jesus.

Let us pray