Stronger Together #14

Forgive One Another

Today we bring you an part 14 of our series on Stronger together.

The Bible has a who lot to say about how we should be treating one another,

It almost like its important or something

Like God knowing the enemy came to steal kill and destroy, and God providing us the means for us to overcome the plans of the enemy

I want to recognize the awesome manifest presence of the Holy Spirit last week.

I needed that, I think you did too.

It caused me to realized one of the major changes we need to make in the our Sunday services.

we need intentional time to focus in on what the Lord is saying to each one of us as individuals.

Yes i recognize the need for us to come together corporately,

but we can’t forget the personal way God loves us all.

My intention is to shorten my messages, allowing more time for Holy Spirit ministry.

pray for me.

We’ll let’s get into our topic for today.

Forgive one another.

Jesus directly deals with this topic several times.

but let’s admit. forgiveness is hard

it’s not easy to forgive.

but it’s what God expects of us.

Matthew 18:21–22 NASB95

21 Then Peter came and said to Him, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” 22 Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.

imagine if someone came a did something bad to once.

what if they came back and did it again?

what about a 3rd time

It was considered to be trait of highly respected religious leaders to forgive someone up 7 times.

Peter thought he would impress Jesus by saying he could forgive someone 7 times

But Jesus confronted Peters way of thinking.

Not just 7 times, but 70 x 7

Now Jesus is not literally meaning 490 times, then no more forgiveness

When multiplication is used is intended metphorically

What Jesus is meaning here and what the disciples understood,

was infinity.

Jesus was actally saying you should forgive someone infinite times.

If we have issues with forgiving 1x 2x 3x

We have to get a very different view of forgiveness if we hope to forgive an infinite amout of time.

Jesus then goes on to tell a parable to drive home what He is saying

Matthew 18:23–24 NASB95

23 “For this reason the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his slaves. 24 “When he had begun to settle them, one who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him.

10,000 talents.

1 denarii was the average pay for 1 days work during this time

Even at min wage, thats $120 today

6000 denarii equals 1 talent

meaning if the man earned minimun wage, he owed 7.2 Billion dollars

his debt would take 60 million days of work to payoff = approx 165,000 years or over 2000 lifetimes

that’s quite a debt

Matthew 18:25–26 NASB95

25 “But since he did not have the means to repay, his lord commanded him to be sold, along with his wife and children and all that he had, and repayment to be made. 26 “So the slave fell to the ground and prostrated himself before him, saying, ‘Have patience with me and I will repay you everything.’

The master had every right to collect what was owed him. Although he could never recover the total amount owed he could still get something out of it

He was well within his right to claim everything of the servant to attempt to cut his losses.

I don’t think this servant was being honest with his Master

How many of us would have any hope of paying off a 7.2 billion dollar debt?

This servant owed a debt he could not pay.

I beleive the master in this story was aware of this fact

Matthew 18:27 NASB95

27 “And the lord of that slave felt compassion and released him and forgave him the debt.

The Master had compassion and did what he could, to help the servant

the debt he could not pay was forgiven

He was now free and clear

He has his family should have lost everything and been forced into slavery for the rest of their days

but the compassion of the master changed all that.

His debt was gone and he still had his and his families freedom.

You would think this servant would be overjoyed by his good fortune.

but whats the first thing he does?

Matthew 18:28 NASB95

28 “But that slave went out and found one of his fellow slaves who owed him a hundred denarii; and he seized him and began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay back what you owe.’

1 denarii was the average pay for a worker

at min wage thats $120

so 100 denarii would be the equivelent of $12,000 today

let’s recognize if your making min wage $12,000 is still a substantial sum

Even if you make an average wage $12,000 is still a substantial amount.

Matthew 18:29–30 NASB95

29 “So his fellow slave fell to the ground and began to plead with him, saying, ‘Have patience with me and I will repay you.’ 30 “But he was unwilling and went and threw him in prison until he should pay back what was owed.

The servant had many options

he could have giving his fellow servant more time to repay the debt.

he could could have cancelled the debt like his debt was cancelled

but instead he choose to act in the most merciless way possible

Notice the we have the same scenario, but the roles are reversed

the servant who once begged for mercy, now has the opportunity to extended mercy to another

but that same servant when placed in the role of the master, was asked for mercy. He refused to give it.

let’s agree he was tecnically within his rights to do so, but that wasn’t his best decision

Matthew 18:31–34 NASB95

31 “So when his fellow slaves saw what had happened, they were deeply grieved and came and reported to their lord all that had happened. 32 “Then summoning him, his lord said to him, ‘You wicked slave, I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. 33 ‘Should you not also have had mercy on your fellow slave, in the same way that I had mercy on you?’ 34 “And his lord, moved with anger, handed him over to the torturers until he should repay all that was owed him.

Becuase the servant refused to show mercy in the same way that he received it. The mercy he received was removed

and he faced the full consequences for the debt he owed.

He now again had a debt he could not pay. All because he refused to forgive the debts owed to him.

After ending the Parable, Jesus drives home the point of the story

Matthew 18:35 NASB95

35 “My heavenly Father will also do the same to you, if each of you does not forgive his brother from your heart.”

Because God has forgiven us, us forgiving others is no longer option. but its an expectation

Ephesians 4:32 NASB95

32 Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.

What does unforgiveness Cost us?

satan’s strategies

Matthew 6:14–15 NASB95

14 “For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 “But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions.

satan know if he can get you offended and then refuse to forgive, then God will not forgive you

and satan wins in your life

Hurt people, hurt people

influences people to hurt one another

convinces the offended to hold onto the offense and not forgive

uses the offended person to offend/hurt others

convinces the offended to hold onto the offense and not forgive

uses the offended person to offend/hurt others

etc. etc.

The key to break this demonic progression is to forgive.

Not only is it wrong in a spiritual sense to harbor unforgiveness, it's also hazardous to our physical health.

Hopkins university has done several studies on the effects of unforgiveness

these studies have found that the act of forgiveness can reap huge rewards for your health, lowering the risk of heart attack; improving cholesterol levels and sleep; and reducing pain, blood pressure, and levels of anxiety, depression and stress.

And research points to an increase in the forgiveness-health connection as you age.

unforgiveness gives the enemy access to do whatever he chooses in your body

we all know bitter old people,

I believe their bitterness always started with an offense.

that if they had learned to forgive, they would be in a very different place today.

So what is forgiveness?

let’s been with what it is not?

Not Forbearance

Forbearance is often confused with forgiveness.

Forbearance overlooks an unpleasant characteristic, event, or offence that is relatively minor even if our emotions feel major

the person who walked right past you at church without perceived notice,

the joke at our expense someone made last week.

With God’s help, forbearing people resolve their inner discord quickly in recognition that further insistence on their rights may generate further wounds to ourselves and to the body of Christ.

Forbearance ‘lets it go and moves on’ when emotions resurface knowing that everyone needs constant grace, including ourselves.

By contrast, forgiveness applies to major offences that require discussion in order for a resolution to occur.

Not Forgetting

It does not mean forgetting or excusing egregious acts.

Forgive and forget....yeah not possible

Not reconciliation

It does not insist that reconciliation be immediate or return to its previous form.

Forgiveness doen’t mean you have to continue to put up with the offence

Not a feeling or emotion

yes it definitley involves our feeling and emotions

but You don’t forgive when you fell like it.

simple truth.....you never will

Not a Trust reset

forgiving does not mean trusting again

rebuilding trust is a completely different subject that begins with forgiveness,

Its not the responsibilty of the offender

You don’t wait for the offender to ask for forgiveness before you give it

Doesn’t mean they get away with it

Romans 12:19 NASB95

19 Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord.

God is a God of Justice. It better to allow the Holy Spirit to deal with the offender.

but He can’t and won’t do that as long as you harbour unforgiveness

So what is Forgiveness?

What Forgiveness is

Forgiveness, according to the Bible, is correctly understood as God's promise not to count our sins against us.

So when we forgive others we are in effect doing the same thing

We are no longer holding their offences to us against them

Forgiveness cost us deeply because through it we choose to lay down our right to have our offender owe us.

It asks us to extend love and kindness even when it’s undeserved, to trust God to avenge our situation instead of ourselves, and to use life’s conflicts as opportunities to display God’s character

Its being owed a debt and choosing to let the ower of the debt off your ledger

8 Steps to Forgiveness

1) Acknowledge the pain

2) Think through things

3) Imagine being on the other side

4) Remember God's forgiveness

5) Reflect on our Biblical command

6) Pray and ask Holy Spirits assitance in forgiving

Father I choose to forgive __(offender)___ for ___(what they did)______________

it made me feel ________________ I ask that my emotions come into alignment with your will AMEN

7) Let go of the hurt

8) Pray for the person who hurt you.

Ministry Time

soaking music starts

Isaiah 43:20–21 NASB95

20 “The beasts of the field will glorify Me, The jackals and the ostriches, Because I have given waters in the wilderness And rivers in the desert, To give drink to My chosen people. 21 “The people whom I formed for Myself Will declare My praise.

You are going to come out of this with praise rising from your lips.

God is not going to abandon you when you need him most.

He has promised to make this wilderness a place of flowing waters—a place of refreshment and satisfaction.

This unlikely place can become a birthing place for glorious encounters of his love. You may only be able to see the grim surroundings of hopelessness and disappointment, but God wants to give you fresh vision.

The greatest restraint to breakthrough is not focusing on the difficulty but on the One who is with you in the midst of it.

Remind yourself what he’s promised.

Slam the door on impatience and frustration.

Stop listening to the lies of the enemy.

God will come through, so start rejoicing and sing his praise in advance!

Prayer

Father, I disengage myself from unhealthy mindsets that say I’ll be stuck in this season forever.

That’s a lie, and I refuse to accept it any longer.

A song is rising within me.

A song of your faithfulness and love.

You’re doing something amazing, even though I cannot see it yet.

So I will rejoice in you and know that you are good!