Ephesians 5:21-24

Ephesians 5:21–24 KJV 1900

21 Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. 22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. 24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

Introduction

As I began studying for today’s message, one commentator noted that this passage contains a few “trouble words” for modern readers.

Before we get into this, I think it’s important to remember that Christianity has always been counter-cultural.

In our times, not a few Christian wives and husbands have tried to modify Paul’s words especially concerning what they say regarding the self-subjection of Christian wives, because it is claimed that this view is no longer up-to-date and befitting of our advanced age.

-1937

If you approach the Bible hoping to find support for the character of the modern world, you will be disappointed.

It has always been this way.

This is equally true when we consider God’s plan for marriage.

God’s way has always been at odds with man’s way.

Polygamy vs monogamy

Heterosexual vs homosexual

Closed vs open

Contrary to what you may think, when Paul wrote Ephesians 5, he was not attempting to reinforce or conserve some long-standing, Christian patriarchy.

Instead, he acted under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit to upend the pagan dictatorships of 1st Century homes.

Paul wrote to combat what some people accuse him of supporting.

I also want us to remember that what we are going to see spelled out for us in this passage is a description of Christian marriage.

Certainly, there are other civil/domestic arrangements that exist in the world.

None of them carry the blessing and legitimacy of a Christian marriage.

You may think that because you are in a monogamous, heterosexual, exclusive relationship, that you have a Christian marriage.

BUT! If you and your spouse are not fulfilling your appropriate roles, there could still be a problem.

Paul starts things off with a wife’s role in Christian marriage.

He builds into the topic by introducing the matter of submission in verse 21.

Though verse 21 technically belongs to the previous section, it acts as a bridge to the section we are getting into.

Submission, in the context of a local church like ours, is the secret to maintaining joyful fellowship in our community of faith.

Submission like this cannot be coerced.

A congregation that willingly submits to one another will experience a level of order and discipline that other congregations will not.

The word for submission in the Bible is very misunderstood.

One author relates the word submission to Jesus’ teaching on taking up our cross to follow him.

This picture requires a choice to be made willingly.

Biblical submission is always given, never taken.

It cannot be demanded or coerced.

The basis of biblical submission is not self-contempt, it is self-denial.

Self-contempt says I have no value, I must be subjugated by you.

Self-denial says I have infinite value, I choose to subject myself.

Biblical submission can only be achieved when we understand our standing and value.

This book has highlighted this several times.

Not only does a healthy understanding of self-worth help us deny ourselves, it also helps us live by an important kingdom principle.

In the kingdom of God, the first shall be last, and the last shall be first.

God honors and glorifies those that willingly put others first.

This is the submission that God expects to exist within the local church.

Christian brothers and sisters willingly submitting to each other.

Submission is a principle of Christian living which applies to believers in every relationship of life.

Through mutual submission we can enjoy peace and unity in our church.

A church, though, is made of many parts.

A church is made up of families.

The unifying work of the church must begin with the families in that church.

Disunity in the families of the church will lead to disunity within the church.

Paul transitions from a call to inclusive submission in verse 21 to a call for exclusive submission in verse 22.

Wives are directed to submit to their husbands.

This is the exclusive submission I just mentioned.

Paul is in no way indicating that all women are to be submissive to all women.

This is a special situation that should exist in a Christian marriage.

Here is that break with 1st century culture that Paul promotes.

1st century womanhood was a dangerous condition.

Woman were property.

They had little value.

They had few opportunities for choice or freedom of personal agency.

Our modern culture has forgotten how much Christianity and the Bible did for the elevation of women.

Over and over the NT emphasizes the dignity of woman hood.

The teaching and example of Jesus lifted woman to a position she did not occupy before.

For example:

The NT makes her the spiritual equal to man, Galatians 3:28 “28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.”

The NT establishes true mutuality in the physical relationships of a married couple, 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 “3 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. 4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. 5 Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.”

Paul telling Christian wives to submit to their husbands indicates the presence of a choice that 1st century women did not have.

The submission of a wife to a husband finds meaning in the Biblical definition of the word that we have already established.

She submits from a strong position of self-worth.

She submits willingly and uncoerced.

Her submission is seen self-denial and self-subjection.

Wives were to be subject to their husbands, not because that was the natural order, but because submission is the style of all Christians.

Let me make another clarifying point regarding this verse.

The phrase “as unto the Lord” does not draw a comparison between a wife’s submission to her husband and her submission to her God.

It is not saying that she must submit to her husband in the same way she submits to God.

Instead, Paul is informing her motivation.

Ladies, you will need a better motivation for submitting to your husband than how well he upholds his end of the marriage agreement.

He will not do a suitable job in earning your submission.

That’s why Paul says you must do it for God’s sake.

Why does it have to be this way?

Why are wives singled out for submission?

Has Paul even met some women?

Has he met some men?

Why would God lead Paul to make this request of Christian women?

Verse 23 pulls back the curtain on God’s intention and plan for Christian marriage.

Christian marriage is a living demonstration of the core beliefs of Christianity.

Why are Christians so uptight about marriage?

I believe Christians have a heightened sensitivity to issues surrounding marriage.

I wonder if we don’t fully understand why, though.

According to verse 23, marriage is supposed to be a picture of the gospel.

We wouldn’t stand for a perversion of the gospel, would we?

Whether we realize it or not, an attack on marriage is an attack on the gospel.

We are not making up this connection.

The Holy Spirit is communicating this to us through God’s word.

The marriage relationship is infinitely ennobled by its comparison with the relationship between Christ and the church.

Marriage is so special to God that He modeled His own relationship with the church after it.

Christian marriage is like the marriage of the Lamb. It’s a miniature of the gospel.

Paul elevates our view of Christian marriage to a level which is so high that we are astounded.

Within this picture, there are two roles that need to be played.

Christ and the church.

Bride and Groom.

God assigns women to play the role of the bride and men to play the role of the groom.

This is where the need for a party to willingly submit comes into play.

For the sake of the family, there must be responsibility of leadership.

The same is true with the church.

The church has one head only.

2 heads creates a duality and a monstrosity.

The church subjects herself voluntarily, joyfully.

This is her natural, normal relation to Christ.

So too is the case with marriage.

Wives are to demonstrate how our church as a whole is supposed to relate to Jesus.

Willing submission to her authority.

In the churches case, we do this because of the superiority of our head, Jesus.

In the case of marriage, the mercy and grace of Christ are shown when a woman can do this to a sinful man.

We’ll talk more about the responsibility of the husband next week.

He is to exemplify the gracious care of the Lord Jesus Christ.

The sacrificial concern of the Lord for the salvation of the church should have a parallel in the loving sacrificial concern of the husband for the welfare of his wife.

God designed marriage so that every Christian home should exemplify the gospel.

That makes Christian marriage done right an incredibly valuable outreach opportunity.

One that we take for granted.

Listen to what one missionary from the early 1900’s wrote in his letter back to America.

We can conceive of nothing that could so commend Christianity to our people as just to see a Christian family functioning according to the New Testament.

Marriage is far more than a door to personal happiness and fulfillment.

It is a ministry for every Christian, it deserves to be your first ministry.

Each for each other, both for the Lord.

Marriage and our role in it is as serious as the Gospel.

If we wouldn’t dare add or subtract from the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus, what makes us think that it’s no big deal to twist marriage into what we want it to be?

Divorce messes up the picture of the permanence of the gospel.

Adultery messes up the picture of faithfulness of the gospel.

Homosexuality messes with the picture of two different beings united together.

Spouses that refuse to honor their roles messes with the picture as well.

Marriage gets its loveliness from it’s faithful comparison to the original

Self-subjection cannot be partial, it must be complete.

This is a hard thing.

That’s why it is given to Christians indwelt with the Holy Spirit.

Marriage will work, if we will work our marriage according to His plan.

It’s counter-cultural to todays society, but, really, it always has been.