Celibacy: Another Gift from God

You most likely read or skim read Nathaniel Hawthorne’s classic novel, The Scarlett Letter in high school literature class. Hawthorne’s story of Hester Prynne is a tale of a married woman sent ahead to America as her husband finished up affairs. Thought to be dead after his delayed arrival to their new home, Prynne got involved in a love and sexual affair with the town’s pastor, in the setting of a Puritan colony. As the colony seeks godliness among their people, they demand Prynne reveal the identity of the father to which she does not. To label her sin among people, Prynne must wear a patch outside her clothing of the letter “A” for her adultery, forever marking her sinful failure before that society.

Prynne’s infamous Scarlett Letter has served as a cultural metaphor for public sins of people. We might refer to someone adultery, pregnancy before marriage, or other public sins as “their Scarlett letter.” Whether that is an appropriate metaphor or not, is not my reason for mentioning it today. Instead, I want us to consider how many people in American culture identify unmarried adults as bearing a form of the Scarlett letter. We often look to them as our matching making project. Some look to them and may wonder, “what is wrong with her or him?” Instead of viewing singleness as a providence of God in their life, we often may view those who are single as cursed of God. I hope today that we can learn that God thinks differently about such persons.

We can affirm that marriage is the norm of God’s created order for adults. This does not mean that singles are abnormal, it just means that as God created man and woman, his good design was for marriage to be the pattern for his glory to fill the earth. We know that marriage represents the beautiful picture of Christ and his Church.

Review:

Paul began chapter 7 with addressing issues once again in the Corinthian church regarding marriage. Last week, we look at the command by Paul to remain faithful to intimacy in marriage in order to honor the Lord’s design between a husband and wife. Paul says, “stop depriving one another” which literally means to steal something from someone else. This command can in response to a growing concern in the church to turn away from sexual sin and promote abstinence for all people, including married persons. Paul instructed them that God’s design for intimacy between husband and wife was God’s goodness lavished on his people.

But what about those who are unmarried? Surely, we should not look to them as outcasts of society. Paul will address these very applicable issues as we work our way through these verses today. Let us look first at the candidates for celibacy.

1. The Candidates for Celibacy

Celibacy, not singleness:Singleness is a phase of life that comes when a child reaches adulthood but in the last 50 years or more, it is a cultural label that often times disdains marriage and promotes sexual promiscuity. It no longer simply means those unmarried. In the the 90’s, this culture of singleness was personified in a movie entitled, Singles, with some well known celebrity actors and actresses of that time. The premise of the movie as stated on wikipedia,

“Singles centers on the precarious romantic lives of a group of young Gen X'ers in Seattle, Washington at the height of the 1990s grunge phenomenon. ...the film focuses on the course of two couples' rocky romances, as well as the love lives of their friends and associates.”

When we hear reference to the single scene, it most likely refers to single adults, dating and engaging in sexual sin. In addition, Paul is not writing to young people who have yet to pursue a partner in marriage. He will address this group at the end of this chapter 7. Instead, we are talking about those who committed to Celibacy. Celibacy is the practice of remaining single with a commitment to sexual abstinence and a focus towards spiritual devotion. It is important to define some terms and so we are first going to look at CANDIDATES FOR CELIBACY

Pre-marital abstinence

Post-marital celibacy

Life-long celibacy

Pre-marital abstinence: This is for those who desire to be married and are committed to sexual purity until their marriage day. Virginity is also a term in this category but often times, bad choices have led to those who have lost their virginity. In repentance these persons have confessed their sins to the Lord and recommitted themselves until their marriage day to practice pre-marital abstaining from sexual activity. This of course is honoring to the Lord because as Paul told us in 1 Cor 6:18-19

1 Corinthians 6:18–19 NASB95

18 Flee immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body. 19 Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own?

These persons, pursuing marriage, would not be candidates for celibacy because they are not committing to remain unmarried but instead pursuing it as God’s sweet hand of providence directs them.

Post-marital celibacy

This is most likely the category that Paul would be considering. As I stated last week, it is most likely that Paul was at one time a married man. Paul states in the NT that he was progressing in leadership in Judaism, he studied under a renown Rabbi Gamaliel(Guh-may-lee-uhl) and he was considered a member of the Sanhedrin. Because of this, It is clear Paul would have been required to be married. But post his conversion to Christ, one of two things occured. He was either widowed or he was divorced. We do not know which but at the time of writing 1 Corinthians, Paul identifies himself as one who was once married. Note that here Paul uses two terms: unmarried and widows. The unmarried category would include those separated, abandoned, or divorced. It would not include specifically those never married, because he mentions them separately down in v 25, “Now concerning virgins.” Paul does not identify with those unmarried virgins, so this category of “unmarried” must mean, previously married, although not alien to marriage and sexual relations.

Regardless, Paul states that he and others belong to a group in the church who are currently unmarried, because of separation or divorce. This new life moving forward meant that they would not remarry but commit to the life of celibacy- remaining unmarried and sexually abstinent.

Another category that Paul mentions is widows. Widows also can choose the life of celibacy when their husband or wife passes away. Because Paul mentions this group separately from the term unmarried, seem to to imply that Paul does not identify with widows. Widows, likewise are the subject matter because they can

A great example of this would be the prophetess Anna in Luke 2. We read in Luke 2:36-37

Luke 2:36–37 NASB95

36 And there was a prophetess, Anna the daughter of Phanuel, of the tribe of Asher. She was advanced in years and had lived with her husband seven years after her marriage, 37 and then as a widow to the age of eighty-four. She never left the temple, serving night and day with fastings and prayers.

Anna shows us a woman who was married for 7 years but then her husband died. She remained unmarried and faithfully served the Lord at the temple for the remainder of her life.

Life Long celibacy

The third group to consider as candidates of celibacy is those who choose to live a life that never involves marriage. In the Old and New Testament, much is discussed about marriage, divorce, and widowhood but never little is mentioned about life-long celibacy. Of course we know that Jesus is the greatest picture of this. Since his adulthood, regardless of what liberal critics of the Bible want to say about Jesus’ love interest, the Bible clearly depicts Jesus as one committed to celibacy. He does not often teach on this personal issue in his life, but he reflects it throughout his ministry. What Paul wants us to see in verse 7 of this chapter in 1 Corinthians is that celibacy and marriage are both gifts from God.

1 Corinthians 7:7 NASB95

7 Yet I wish that all men were even as I myself am. However, each man has his own gift from God, one in this manner, and another in that.

The important foundation of Paul’s celibate life is that he understood and taught the value of marriage. We learned last week how marrriage and the intimacy in marriage is a necessary gift and glory of God when practiced in a healthy way. To abstain from sexual intimacy in marriage in order to reach some higher spiritual plain or because of frustration, anger, or with manipulative purposes, is sinful and goes against God’s design. Paul understood the beauty of sexual intimacy in marriage and yet he also saw the gift from God for those committed to the celibate lifestyle.

The question is why would Paul desire that all men were celibate and why is celibacy a gift from God? These are the questions that we want to answer in the next two points of this sermon.

2. The Value and Purpose of Celibacy

We want to answer these two questions today. Paul gives us two factors that might lead a person to live the celibate life.

A Contentment in God’s Gift: Paul calls it a gift from God and it is a gift because God bestows it upon others in his sovereignty. If the King over the kingdom in which you live, desires to give you a gift of benefit and good for you, it would be dishonorable to look upon that gift with scrutiny and disdain. From a supernatural standpoint, God endows persons with the gift of celibacy so that they might be empowered to live with such self-control that marriage and intimacy in marriage is not a overwhelming issue for them in their life.

Let me say that if God has chosen to give you this gift, this does not mean that you are not a quality candidate for marriage. This gift from God does not diminish your value or worth in His eyes. Instead, he has bestowed this upon you so that you might be liberated to serve him with greater fervency.

Paul states in verse 8 a qualifying distinction for those who should not be celibate....

1 Corinthians 7:9 NASB95

9 But if they do not have self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

Now Paul uses GK term translated self-control that literally is a compound word in the greek that means SELF (ego) and power (kratos). That does not mean that people have innate power to resist sexual lusts. Instead, God empowers the inward man to over come those desires and lusts so that celibacy is not only practiced faithfully but it is satisfactory as a lifestyle. God’s gift of celibacy to the the previously married or the never-married is that they will see the good in the gift God has lavished upon them and they will be satisfied in it.

Paul solidifies that point by saying that one way that a person can know this gift has been bestowed upon them is they do not “burn with passion.” Burn here often means “burning in hell or by the judgment of God.” But the context shows that burning here actually is referring to the idea of marital intimacy. When a person expresses considerable and supernatural self-control regarding sexual desire, it could be temporal in marriage or permanent for the unmarried. In other words, one way that you can know if celibacy is your path is by asking how do behave in regards to sexual desire? You know that threshold in your life and if you have a low drive in that way, it might be God has gifted you with celibacy. Of course, it could also mean you have a low libido due to medical reasons. This of course should be discussed with a medical professional.

Consider fasting as an example. Fasting is the spiritual practice of self-control and abstinence from food for the sake of spiritual concentration and prayer. Fasting is a temporary discipline and it is designed only for brief periods so they person in the fast can focused with greater power on his or her devotion to the Lord. God designed our human bodies to need food. Jesus displays his humanity by fasting 40 days and at the end he hungered. Satan even used that hunger as a way to tempt Jesus but our Lord was victorious. The point is that fasting is a temporary discipline that God empowers others including Jesus to accomplish, but only for a time. For celibacy, it is a long term self-discipline whereas God endows a power to overcome sexual desire, emotional need and companionship from a spouse for an extended time on this earth.

Celibacy can be a gift from God but the problem with the Corinthian church is they were commanding their people to remain celibate, even in marriage, which is wrong in the eyes of God. Paul tells Timothy in 1 Tim 4 is that marriage is to be enjoyed as God’s good gifts and if someone teaches that marriage should be devalued or abstained from, those persons are teaching doctrines of demons. God values biblical marriage.

But God also values those celibate persons that he has chosen to be celibate, rather after a time of marriage, or celibate in all their lives. Whatever gifts God gives his people, we are called to use them for his glory and to find contentment as we serve him.

A Contentment in God’s Gift

A Focus on Kingdom Work:

The second value and purpose for celibacy is that it focuses the believer in Jesus Christ on Kingdom work. Paul states further down in this chapter his rationale for the “excellency” of celibacy. Paul writes,

1 Corinthians 7:29–35 NASB95

29 But this I say, brethren, the time has been shortened, so that from now on those who have wives should be as though they had none; 30 and those who weep, as though they did not weep; and those who rejoice, as though they did not rejoice; and those who buy, as though they did not possess; 31 and those who use the world, as though they did not make full use of it; for the form of this world is passing away. 32 But I want you to be free from concern. One who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord; 33 but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife, 34 and his interests are divided. The woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband. 35 This I say for your own benefit; not to put a restraint upon you, but to promote what is appropriate and to secure undistracted devotion to the Lord.

Paul is speaking from a standpoint of the importance of God’s work in the kingdom. He is not devaluing kingdom ministry. Instead, he is emphasizing the role of all believers not to allow distractions of this earth to interfere with obedient service to the Lord. If your marriage or your family keeps you from diligently serving the Lord, then you have missed the point of having that family. Serving the Lord requires that you live in a way as if you do not have a spouse. This is not neglect of your marriage responsibilities, but instead a focus on prioritizing your responsibilities to Christ first. Look at what the Lord Jesus taught his disciples in Matthew 19:9-12

Matthew 19:9–12 NASB95

9 “And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.” 10 The disciples said to Him, “If the relationship of the man with his wife is like this, it is better not to marry.” 11 But He said to them, “Not all men can accept this statement, but only those to whom it has been given. 12 “For there are eunuchs who were born that way from their mother’s womb; and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men; and there are also eunuchs who made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. He who is able to accept this, let him accept it.”

They ask the question in the context of the difficult response the Lord gives to divorce, “Is it better not to marry?” Jesus responds wisely by using the eunuch as an example of God’s placing the responsibility of the kingdom on all, but for some, marriage can be a distraction if we let it. Jesus gives 3 types of Eunuchs which we know as a person incapacitated from sexual activity because of castration. Those 4 types Jesus mentions are:

Natural Eunuchs: born without proper biological function to procreate

Man-made Eunuchs: those who served queens were often physically made eunuchs in order to protect the queen of violation

Spiritual Eunuchs: those devoted to celibacy “for the sake of the kingdom.”

If you don’t know what castration is, ask your neighbor when we are done. The point Jesus is making is that God calls all of us to serve him and both he and Paul recognize that God gifts those who are content to not marry, who practice self-control so that they can serve the Lord faithfully without any hindrances of a spouse. Those who are spiritually castrated are those committed to celibacy.

Therefore, if celibacy is God’s gift to you, consider it worthy coming from your Creator and King, and use that gift to focus all your energies on expanding God’s kingdom. You are not a blemish on the church or before the eyes of the Lord. You are chosen for such a task, free from the need to bond to a spouse, free from being overwhelmed with sexual desire. Use that time that God has given you to focus on loving and serving Him.

1 Corinthians 7:35 NASB95

35 This I say for your own benefit; not to put a restraint upon you, but to promote what is appropriate and to secure undistracted devotion to the Lord.

I remember my first international mission trip away from my family. The trip lasted 8 days in Brazil. The hardest part of going overseas is the separation from your loved ones. They are on your mind. You are taking time to call home to speak to all of them. If God has called you to be married and have a family, then that is grafted into your service with the Lord. But if you are single, there is more opportunity to serve longer and farther without the attachments to home.

I want to conclude our study today with this quote by Margaret Clarkson:

10,000 Sermon Illustrations (His Commands are His Enablings)

“Single through no fault or choice of my own, I am unable to express my sexuality in the beauty and intimacy of Christian marriage, as God intended...To seek to do this outside of marriage is, by the clear teaching of Scripture, to sin against God and my own nature. I have no alternative but to live a life of voluntary celibacy...chaste not only in body, but in mind and spirit...I want to go on record as having proved that for those who are committed to do God’s will, His commands are His enablings.”

If the Lord so chooses this life for you friend, do not be embarrassed, discouraged or feel any sense of inadequacy. The social norms around you do not define how God sees you and what gifts he has placed upon you. You seek to be obedient to his will for as long as you function in your brain and a rhythm in your heart. Consider the gifts as good and find joy and satisfaction in them. Do not choose this path because you are fearful of the hurt that relationships may bring. Do not fear this path because of the loneliness you may long to avoid. If celibacy is your gift, then God will empower and sustain you in it.

Church, also let us consider this biblical instruction as a reshaping of our views of God and his plan for celibate persons. Instead of looking down on them, let us encourage them in their obedience to God while they live the celibate life. Let us love fellowship with them, encourage them and equip them to serve the Lord.