Presently Qualified: Leading My Family 1 Tim. 3:12-13

Intro:

Stick from LDC, talk about the “run” Leadership is not about being the first one to the destination, it is about making sure everyone arrives at the destination together.

Summaryof last week: Speaking the truth in love is essential to growing up in every way (Eph. 4:25-32). I had someon ask a really good question this week, what does that look or sound like:

Be honest (Eph. 4:25 “Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another.” )

Keep Current (Eph. 4:26-27 “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.”

I don’t reach back into my file folder of offenses and start flinging mud

Attach the problem not the person (Eph. 4:29 “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”

Act, don’t react (Eph. 4:31-32 “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”

The present state of the heart is what is most important.

Outline:

Presently: “Husband of one Wife” (v. 12)

Presently: “Managing Your Children” (v. 12)

Presently: “Gaining Good Standing” (v. 13)

Summary: “There is much to gain from present faithfulness”

Prayer: Heb 3:13 “But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called “today,” that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.”

Personally: “Dignified not Devine, Steady not Sinless, Maturing not Mastered” (vs. 8-10)

Dignified (v. 8)

Must be- This verb is not in this verse! Why, because it is piggy backing off of the verb used in 1 Tim. 3:2 “Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach,” and 3:7

Presently being- the present state of the heart

dignified- “semnous”, worthy of respect; especially on account of one’s behaviour, used also of older men in Titus 2:2. He shows self control

in communication

in appetite

in finances

in Work ethic

in sexual behaviour

Presently Not (v. 8) THINK OF BIBLICAL EXAMPLES FOR EACH

Presently Not double-tonged-

Am I seeking to speak the truth in love?

Be honest, keep current, attack the problem not the person, act don’t react

Presently Not addicted to much wine-

Is the Holy Spirit the number one controling agent in my life? Am I presently enslaved to what I consume?

As a deacon you will be asked to make decisions about things. We want to be as sharp as we can be in order to make those decisions.

Presently Not greedy for dishonest gain-

Am I giving financially to the church? When finances get tight, this can often be the first thing that goes. If I am not, what is hindering me?

Presently holding (vs. 9-10)

They must hold- “echo” pres, act, part, have, to consider, reckon

Let them also be tested first-

then let them serve as deacons- “diakoneo” pres, act, imperative (command) to serve as deacon

if they prove themselves- “eimi” pres, act part, conditional participle

blameless- “anenkletoi”, adjective, abover reproach, unaccusable, not subject to, deserving, or worthy of a charge of wrongdoing. AHA, this is where we get the idea of perfect or without sin. But what is Paul hinting at here. Is he saying without fault? These are the other times it is used in Scripture by Paul:

Marriage: “Wives Dignified not divine, Faithful not flawless, Maturing not Mastered” (vs. 11)

Presently Dignified (vs. 11) Same pattern as before

must be dignified- “semnous”,

This structure gives weight to the fact that God sees man and women as co-heirs with Him, yet serve in different roles. There is not a double standard here.

Presently Faithful (vs. 11)

Not slanderers- “diabolous” devil, characterized by attacking the reputation of another by slander or libel

but sober-minded- not given to any extremes in behaviour; perhaps especially in terms of alcohol, temperate, well-balanced

Faithful in all things-”pistas” reliable, trusting, characterized by belief, trust, and reliance (on Jesus for salvation)

Once again, It seems that what Paul is getting at is that after being tested, there is no question as to whether or not you love Jesus and are found in Him. No one is guessing whether or not you are a believer. This is what it means to be faithful in all things.

Family: “Lead” (vs. 12-13)

Presently: “The Husband of One Woman” (v. 12)

Presently One Woman man (vs. 12)

Let deacons each

be - estosan” from eimi- to be (quality), presently

the husband of one wife- genitive of possession, relation. or “a one woman man”.

God’s Ideal (Matt. 19:1-9)

“Is it lawful to divource one’s wife for any cause?”

Have you not read

He who created them from the beginning made them male and female

A man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife…become one flesh

What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.

“Why then did Moese command one to give a certificate of divource and to send her away?”

Because of the hardness of heart

Moses allowed you to divource your wives

But from the beginning it was not so

And I say to you- He gave the ideal, now he is going to circle back to the question

Whoever divources his wife

except for sexual immortality

and marries another, commits adultery

Adultery- seeking outside of my covenant relationship what I should only find inside my covenant relationship

God

Spouse

By the way, we all have committed adultery in our relationship with God. He is the only faithful one

Spiritual adultery always preceeds physical adultery

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Application/Implications:

Committing adultery is not a “get out of jail free” card nor should it be an eternal disqualification. Does the bible identify us from the moments of sin in our lives? The question you have to ask yourself is where am I presently, what is the state of your heart? Is there hardness of heart? Is it possible that hardness of heart really did affect your marriage to the point that a divource happened? Is it still that way today?

Am I presently committed to being a one woman man. I am not seeking outside my covenant relationship what I should only be seeking inside.

Maybe you are not married and you think that unless you are married than you are not qualified. Well, even in singleness it is possible to presently be living with a oneness mindset. Whether you have a desire to be married and it hasen’t happened yet or you do not desire to be married, you can still have that oneness mindset for your future spouse or for your saviour.

Presently: “Managing His Children” (v. 12)

Presently Leads his children (vs. 12)

Managing their children- “proistamenoi”- to lead (authoirty), to be in charge of

We canot order our children to follow God, but we can provide opportunities for them to follow God

C.S. Lewis writing the chronicles of Narnia to baptise the imagination so that when they were introduced to Jesus He would be familiar to them.

When kids are in the home- there comes a point in life where our kids have to make their own decisions and live by them.

Isa. 1:2 “Hear, O heavens, and give ear, O earth; for the Lord has spoken: “Children have I reared and brought up, but they have rebelled against me.”

God’s Ideal (Eph. 6:4 “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”

Fathers

Do not provoke your children to anger- poking and picking (command)

but bring them up- nourish, rear (command)

in the discipline- training, correction, doing what is right

and instruction- admonitition, cautionary advice about something; especially danger or other unpleasantness, knowing what is right

of the Lord- not “your” discipline and instruction, not “your” purposes and plans, but the LORDS! The goal of our parenting should never be to correct the mistakes our parents made in us with our children. Our goal must be God’s goal.

I believe that the provoking to anger happens when I hold my expectations for my children higher than God’s expectations. When they never meet my standards or have my approval.

Presently Leads his household

and their households well- during the time of writing this, the church met in homes. It was a lot harder to have two different lives during these times. Navogating home well, it is a joy and blessing to be with your wife and kids. They are not “holding you back” from what you could really do...

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Application/Implications:

Kids, do you realize that you have a part in the leadership of our church too? You can help Dad serve the church well, by honouring and obeying Him at home.

When your kids are at home (Parent, coach, obey)- “Hand’s on”

When your kids leave home (Parent, counsellor, honour)- it is not a “hands off” as much as it is a “step back”.

Teaching to ride a bike. You start by walking along side, running along side, letting them ride and being there to help pick them up when they fall.

Presently: “Gaining a Good Standing” (v. 13)

Presently Gain (vs. 13)

For those who serve well as deacons- combining the thought of loving your wife and navogating home life well to serving as a deacon well.

gain

a good standing for themselves- “bathmos” the idea of rank or grade, recognition

Good standing

and also great confidence in the faith- great confidence to continue to do what is right and serve with more compassion, more willingness, more eager to serve the body of Christ. What will I gain from this, well, here it is.

Great confidence

in the faith

that is in Christ Jesus

Application/Implications:

Maybe you are sitting there thinking well, I can’t be a deacon because I am not married, or I don’t have kids. Well, I do not believe that marriage and children are the pre-requisites, I believe that being presently dignified is! If God allows you to get married, be faithful in your marriage. If He blesses you with children, be faithful to bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Feb 11 we will be having a Deacon Orientation from 10am-12pm here at the church to answer any questions you might have. Wives, we want you to be there. So, we are providing child care

Transitional phrase:

Summary: There is much to gain from present faithfulness.

My hope is that as a church, and as leaders of the church, we seek not just to personally strive for faithfulness individually, but collectively as a whole. We all want to reach the destination together.

Song:

Discussion questions

Worship- Renew the Mind (Scripture)

1. What passage of Scripture did we look at? Summarize it in your own words.

2. Verse 12 mentions being the husband of one wife. Where else in Scripture would you go to explain what a marriage should look like?

3. Verse 13 mentions managing children and households well. Where else in Scripture would you go to expain what this should look like?

4. What does verse 13 say about those that serve well as Deacons?

Grow- Engage the Heart (Conversation)

1. The definition of adultery given was, “seeking outside of my covenant relationship with spouse/God what I should only find within my covenant relationships. Would you add or remove anything to this definition?

2. Explain the phrase, “spiritual adultery happens before physical adultery”. In what ways are we all guilty of spiritual adultery?

3. In what ways can you see serving as gain?

Serve- Enlist the Body (Action)

How has the idea of “presently qualified” cahllenged your thinking over the last couple of weeks?

Which area (marriage, parenting, serving) would you like to gain a better understanding and practical application about this week?

How has following God’s Word by faith given you greater confidence over the last couple of weeks?