Sins of Relationships | Relationships within the Family

Introduction

This message is for the individual and for the church, but most of all it is for the family. The family is under attack from all angles. It is under attack from the school system, the government, entertainment, games, etc. Every time you turn around, it is under attack. Why? Why is it under attack so hart by the enemy? Because, the enemy knows that the family is the glue to society. The family was the first relational group created within the Scriptures and then the church was ordained. We have spent some much time protecting the institution of the church, we have forgotten the relationships of the family. Are we sinning in our family relationships.

Opening Passage

Ephesians 5:23–25 KJV

23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. 24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. 25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

Outline

Are Your Family Relationships Consistent with God’s Word?

1. God’s Special Words to the Husbands and Fathers

A. God commands the husband to be the spiritual head of the home (Eph. 5:23)

Ephesians 5:23 KJV

23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

Headship is not dictatorship. This verse is not stating that the husband is superior to the wife or that the wife is inferior to her husband. What is being shown within this text? This text is a reminder of the importance of order. It is a reminder that we all are in relationships of authority and submission. God is a God of order. We find within our text, an example shown through marriage that relates to Christ and His church. As Christ is the head of the church, so is the husband to be head of the wife, of the home.

As with other stages in life, weight comes with responsibility. How is the husband to be the head of the home. He is to be the spiritual head of the home. He is responsible for leading his home in the realm of spiritual needs. How often does the father speak of the Lord with his wife and children? How often does he lead them in Bible study? How often does he lead them to church? How often does he remind them of their need for prayer? As his wife is submissive to him, he is to be submissive to the Lord. In being submissive to the Lord, he should be leading his home in the spiritual realm not just the physical. How often we fail? It does not good for me to win the entire world for Christ and yet lose my own family.

In the role of the head, the husband should pay great attention to how Christ lead. Christ lead through love. He did not force himself on anyone. In fact, Christ Himself said it is better to give than receive.

Acts 20:35 KJV

35 I have shewed you all things, how that so labouring ye ought to support the weak, and to remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he said, It is more blessed to give than to receive.

Just as Jesus, who was the head over his disciples, knelt the night before His death and washed the feet of His disciples, we show leadership and headship best through service and love. We, as husbands, can only lead faithfully, when it is a lead through love.

B. God commands the husband to love his wife with sacrificial love (Eph. 5:25)

Ephesians 5:25 KJV

25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

What kind of love did Christ have for His church? It was a love in action. His love was sacrificial. His love was revealed through patience. His love was revealed through poring himself out for His church. His love was shown through service. Husbands, how do you show your love toward your wife?

If we are trying to lead without love, we fail. We are to love our wives with a love that is demonstrated through a sincere caring for her and sensitivity.

C. God commands the husband to be caring and sensitive to his wife’s needs (1 Pt 3:7)

1 Peter 3:7 KJV

7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

D. God commands the father to relate to his children in loving and spiritual guidance, not in anger and wrath (Eph. 6:4)

Ephesians 6:4 KJV

4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

While bringing your children up has a part in the area of provision, the main part, the part of utmost importance is the spiritual area. It is making sure they know Jesus. As Paul stated:

1 Corinthians 15:3 KJV

3 For I delivered unto you first of all that which I also received, how that Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures;

One way that father’s fail their children is the hypocrisy that their children see. They may see their father claiming Jesus on Sunday but by Monday, Jesus is gone from their life and they only give an example of the world, anger, and frustration. This ought not be.

We must understand that our children learn more about spirituality, Christianity, and a true, genuine relationship with God from the actions and words of a parent than they do from the lectures of a father. What example are you showing to your children? One of faithfulness? One of hypocrisy? Or one of Schizophrenia (faithfulness one day and hypocrisy the next)?

As we look at our text, the father is not the only one that has to worry about their relationship within the home. The wife has a calling from God as well to be on guard and alert about their relationship within the home.

2. God’s Special Words to the Wives

A. God commands wives to allow their husbands to lead (Eph. 5:24, 33)

Ephesians 5:24 KJV

24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

Ephesians 5:33 KJV

33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

B. God commands wives to be humble in spirit (1 Pt. 3:3)

1 Peter 3:3 KJV

3 Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;

3. God’s Special Words to the Parent

A. God commands parents are to be an example to their children (Pr. 22:6)

Proverbs 22:6 KJV

6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

Children learn by example. When you see children, what do you see them doing often. They mimic their parents. Why? Because this is how they learn. My question is simple. What are you teaching your children? What kind of example are you showing them? Are you showing them how to provide? Are you showing them how to work? Are you showing them how to have a good time? Are you showing them the importance of church? the respect of their husband/wife? the importance of a committed and sacrificial relationship with Christ? the importance of tithes and offerings? the importance of evangelism? What kind of example are you being?

B. God commands parents to be a stepping-stone in the faith for their children not a stumbling-block (Mt. 18:6)

Matthew 18:6 KJV

6 But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.

One of my greatest fears as a parent is winning my church to the Lord but losing my family. I do not want my life to be an offense to my child in such a way I cause them to deny the faith rather than embrace the faith. Too often, we can claim Jesus on Sunday, but on Monday, we ask whose that? This may not be done through these exact words, but it done through our words, our actions, our care. Actions speak louder than words. Don’t tell me that you love me and then turn around and hit with me a bat.

Often this is how we treat our children. We may tell them that we love them with our words but we hit them verbally. We hit them physically. We hit them mentally. We continue to tell them that care, but it is only in words. What do we think this does? Our lives, the true example that we have given them causes them to abandon the faith rather than embrace the faith.

4. God’s Special Words for the Child (Eph 6:1-3)

Ephesians 6:1–3 KJV

1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. 2 Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) 3 That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.

A. God commands children and youth to obey their parents (Eph. 6:1)

As I have gotten older, I realize the importance of this truth. Many children today, because tv, their friends, their teachers, their music, and the society in which they are around present the parent as stupid, as ignorant, as clueless, so they don’t respect nor obey their parents. For those that do not believe any of this about their parents, they may still disobey their parents, not because of the influence of society but because of the actions of their parents. Then we find those that continue to disobey their parents because of their age. They think they are too old to have to listen to their parents.

May I submit to you, they are still your parents, no matter your age, no matter what society states, no matter what your opinion of them is. This does not mean that you have to take abuse of any kind. This does not mean that you have be obedient to the point that the law is broken (man’s or God’s), quiet the contrary. It does mean that unless they are asking you to break the law of man and/or God, we are to obey.

B. God commands children and youth to respect their parents (Eph. 6:2)

We are to respect our parents. The bible gives two commands within this, the 5th Commandment: 1) Obey your parents and 2) Honor your parents.

C. God’s commands to children and youth come with a promise (Eph. 6:3)

Along with this commandment, it has a promise for those that obey, God promises to honor the child’s efforts in doing so. Ultimately, the child is not obeying and honoring their parents, as they think. Truly, in the end, they are honoring and obeying God, which brings Him glory. This is what it is all about. As Paul writes, do all that you do for the glory of the Lord (1 Co. 10:31).

Conclusion

This message is for the individual and for the church, but most of all it is for the family. The family is under attack from all angles. It is under attack from the school system, the government, entertainment, games, etc. Every time you turn around, it is under attack. Why? Why is it under attack so hart by the enemy? Because, the enemy knows that the family is the glue to society. The family was the first relational group created within the Scriptures and then the church was ordained. We have spent some much time protecting the institution of the church, we have forgotten the relationships of the family. Are we sinning in our family relationships.

Are you as a father, as a husband sinning against God by sinning against your wife and children? Wife are you sinning against your husband and children by not honoring your husband and over looking your children? Parents are you sinning against God by abusing, neglecting, and overlooking the children that God has blessed you with? Are you failing and sinning against God by be an example about good times but not showing the importance of having a relationship with Christ? a physical and supportive relationship with the family of God through that is exemplified through attendance, service, and giving?

Children, are you sinning against God by disobeying your parents? By having no respect for your parents? By following the example of society rather than God? Are you sinning against God? Because ultimately, we sin against God and God alone, when we sin?

Finally, are you sinning God and facing hellfire and judgment because of an outright rejection of Jesus Christ? You know you need Jesus, but you have said, I do not need Him. May I submit to you, that no relationship that you have, will ever be in alignment until you get your relationship with Jesus Christ right first. Your life, your family’s life, your work life, every relationship that you have will continue to fail, break, and end in abysmal mess until you surrender to the Lordship of Jesus Christ and get that relationship right first.