Forgiveness: From Rags To Riches
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8 And Stephen, full of grace and power, was doing great wonders and signs among the people. 9 Then some of those who belonged to the synagogue of the Freedmen (as it was called), and of the Cyrenians, and of the Alexandrians, and of those from Cilicia and Asia, rose up and disputed with Stephen. 10 But they could not withstand the wisdom and the Spirit with which he was speaking. 11 Then they secretly instigated men who said, “We have heard him speak blasphemous words against Moses and God.” 12 And they stirred up the people and the elders and the scribes, and they came upon him and seized him and brought him before the council, 13 and they set up false witnesses who said, “This man never ceases to speak words against this holy place and the law, 14 for we have heard him say that this Jesus of Nazareth will destroy this place and will change the customs that Moses delivered to us.” 15 And gazing at him, all who sat in the council saw that his face was like the face of an angel.
54 Now when they heard these things they were enraged, and they ground their teeth at him. 55 But he, full of the Holy Spirit, gazed into heaven and saw the glory of God, and Jesus standing at the right hand of God. 56 And he said, “Behold, I see the heavens opened, and the Son of Man standing at the right hand of God.” 57 But they cried out with a loud voice and stopped their ears and rushed together at him. 58 Then they cast him out of the city and stoned him. And the witnesses laid down their garments at the feet of a young man named Saul. 59 And as they were stoning Stephen, he called out, “Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.” 60 And falling to his knees he cried out with a loud voice, “Lord, do not hold this sin against them.” And when he had said this, he fell asleep.
False Forgiveness
False Forgiveness
The things we do for love. The things we do to be perceived as nice.
It’s ok, I know you’ve had a lot of stress lately. It’s ok, she has been dealing with a lot of issues lately. Excuses eliminate the need for forgiveness.
Nothing happened, it’s fine. Denying is pretending something never happened. It did,
I will not do to you what you did to me. Refraining from revenge- That’s good, but it’s not forgiveness.
I’m going to let it go, but i’ll be watching to see what you do next. Suspending judgment- I’ll forgive you this time, but I’m watcing you.
I’m forgiving you, but you owe me. Weaponizing . I forgive you doesn’t mean that, it means I expect a lot from you because of what you did.
Abandoning justice- false belief that we will move forward and allow the individual to continue the behavior.
Immediate trust- Just go back to things as normal without the individual admitting their wrong.
All of these do not deal with the internal problem of unforgiveness- what it does in us.
3 Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, 4 and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.” 5 The apostles said to the Lord, “Increase our faith!”
Pay attention to yourselves.
Former Baltimore Ravens linebacker Bart Scott was on ESPN’s “Get Up” on Thursday and admitted that Ward got in his head from playing him over the years. He jokes that it took five years of therapy to not punch Ward in the face.
It’s easy to be angry.... see Hebrews 12.15
15 See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled;
We don’t admit how angry we are at people who wrong us. Our image is that we need to be good people. We say, we have forgiven and we mean we aren’t actively wanting to take out revenge. We say we forget, but we are actually saying that we hope a brick falls from the sky to even the score for what has happened.
The writer of Hebrews says “see to it”.
To truly forgive someone, we must do it inside of ourselves.... three steps.
Recognize our shared sinful nature- that could be me.
Inwardly pay the debt
Will good for the wrongdoer
Recognize THat You Are A Sinner
Recognize THat You Are A Sinner
shared sinful nature.
25 And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.”
Reconciliation should happen, but it often does not. Even if reconciliation doesn’t happen , we need to forgive in ourselves. Jesus said we are to love each other, see 1 John 3.14
14 We know that we have passed out of death into life, because we love the brothers. Whoever does not love abides in death.
and Luke 10.25-37
25 And behold, a lawyer stood up to put him to the test, saying, “Teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?” 26 He said to him, “What is written in the Law? How do you read it?” 27 And he answered, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself.” 28 And he said to him, “You have answered correctly; do this, and you will live.” 29 But he, desiring to justify himself, said to Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?” 30 Jesus replied, “A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and he fell among robbers, who stripped him and beat him and departed, leaving him half dead. 31 Now by chance a priest was going down that road, and when he saw him he passed by on the other side. 32 So likewise a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. 33 But a Samaritan, as he journeyed, came to where he was, and when he saw him, he had compassion. 34 He went to him and bound up his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he set him on his own animal and brought him to an inn and took care of him. 35 And the next day he took out two denarii and gave them to the innkeeper, saying, ‘Take care of him, and whatever more you spend, I will repay you when I come back.’ 36 Which of these three, do you think, proved to be a neighbor to the man who fell among the robbers?” 37 He said, “The one who showed him mercy.” And Jesus said to him, “You go, and do likewise.”
The priest and the levite were those who couldn’t allow themselves to identify with the man in the ditch. The samaritan did.
Inwardly pay the debt
Inwardly pay the debt
forgive- aphiemi- cancel or remit a debt.
To forgive means we deny ourself revenge… see Romans 12.17-21
17 Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. 18 If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. 19 Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” 20 To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” 21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
Will good for the wrongdoer
Will good for the wrongdoer
34 And Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” And they cast lots to divide his garments.
60 And falling to his knees he cried out with a loud voice, “Lord, do not hold this sin against them.” And when he had said this, he fell asleep.
You cannot be free to will the good until you have done the first 2: Rcognize your own sinful nature AND Inwardly Pay the debt. .... If you want to forgive, but have a hard time wishing the best for the wrongdoer- you might want to check the first two.
If you don’t will good for them, you willnot be neutral- you will wish bad.
Vengeance is all about me/you. It is not about the nonor of God or the good of the victim or the offender. Christ calls us to utterly forgive on the inside so we can speak the truth to them in love on the outside.
Internal Healing
Internal Healing
This is where spiritual growth takes place.
Inside- Mark 11.25
25 And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.”
This does not say that if we don’t forgive, God won’t forgive us. It is saying that our forgiveness needs to be as complete as God’s is- it needs to cover every place in our lives that we need to forgive, every person that we need to forgive, whether they request it or not because of what it is doing to us to be unforgiving.
External (relational) Healing
External (relational) Healing
Outside- Matthew 18.15-20
15 “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. 16 But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. 17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. 18 Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. 19 Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. 20 For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.”
Outside- Ephesians 4:15
15 Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ,
Unforgiveness Is Spiritual Poverty and Leads To Christian Bankruptcy
Unforgiveness Is Spiritual Poverty and Leads To Christian Bankruptcy
Practicing Forgiveness- Real Luke 17.1-5
1 And he said to his disciples, “Temptations to sin are sure to come, but woe to the one through whom they come! 2 It would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck and he were cast into the sea than that he should cause one of these little ones to sin. 3 Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, 4 and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.” 5 The apostles said to the Lord, “Increase our faith!”
We read this: Luke 17 and we believe there is a conflict because Luke 17 says “IF he repents,” and that becomes our hook to not forgive. But in Matthew 18, Jesus said the individula wronged is to seek reconciliation and then to forgive even if they don’t want to be forgiven or reconcile.! So , they are not in conflict, but ratherPRESCRIPTTIVE.
Note Luke 17.5
5 The apostles said to the Lord, “Increase our faith!”
Spiritual humility- Ephesians 4.32
32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
Look closely at Romans 12.19
19 Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”
bECAUSE ONCE YOU ARE FORGIVEN, YOU ARE FORGIVEN! YOU HAVE TO FORGIVE...
Spiritual wealth....
20 Nevertheless, do not rejoice in this, that the spirits are subject to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven.”
29 But a Jew is one inwardly, and circumcision is a matter of the heart, by the Spirit, not by the letter. His praise is not from man but from God.
9 For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sake he became poor, so that you by his poverty might become rich.
17 and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him.