Marital Faithfulness to the Glory of God

Intro:

Review:

I. The Command to Married Believers (vs. 10-11)

A. Paul teaches how Marriage among Believers reflects Christ and the gospel

In the end, the scope of the covenant of marriage is that God would be honored in his creation and his character would be reflected in those who love him. In the relationship with God and his covenant people, marriage has always been the picture used to depict this relationship. The Lord was the husband of Israel. When Israel lusted after pagan gods and idols, they were called spiritual adulterers against their groom, the Lord. In NT times, Jesus gives parables of the Messiah being like a bridegroom coming for his bride on their wedding day and those attendants in the bridal party were not ready for his return. Paul solidifies that marriage imagery even more by describing in Eph 5 that the relationship between husband and wife is a frail reflection of Christ and his bride the church. Finally, in Revelation, the great gathering of the church to Christ is depicted in a wedding feast in heaven,

Revelation 19:7–9 NASB95

7 “Let us rejoice and be glad and give the glory to Him, for the marriage of the Lamb has come and His bride has made herself ready.” 8 It was given to her to clothe herself in fine linen, bright and clean; for the fine linen is the righteous acts of the saints. 9 Then he said to me, “Write, ‘Blessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb.’ ” And he said to me, “These are true words of God.”

In everything, as believers in Jesus Christ, we must understand that our fallible marriage were the plan of God to be a picture to the world of a savior who loves and unlovable people and who sacrificially gave of himself unconditionally in love. Are marriages are not perfect pictures of the gospel but God does not need them to be perfect. He calls us to be faithful to live as married persons under the Lordship of Christ and He will use as a shining lights of his glory and his glorious salvation in His good providence. Unbelievers that reflect marriage fidelity are participating in God’s good design and are unaware. Believers have been enlightened to the importance of faithful marriages as they point to Christ and therefore we are compelled by Scripture to live as God calls us to live in his covenant love and our covenant bonds of marriage.

For Paul, this is the foundation of his instruction to the believers in Corinth. They were needing biblical instruction because culture was moving them out of sync with what God desires for marriages. Culture of that day provided temptations for the Corinthian church. One particular problem was the sexual promiscuity that led to believers wanting to abstain from sexual intimacy with their spouses in order to devote themselves fully to the Lord. Paul warns against such actions as counterproductive to God’s good design.

Secondly, it is clear that some believers even were wanting to go so far as divorce their spouses for such reasons and Paul had to intercede with biblical wisdom from God. Here are a few aspects that Paul deals with in verses 10-11 in regards to marriage between believers in Jesus Christ.

1. Permanence v10

Permanence reflects faithfulness. God is faithful and unchanging. He will never fail us and so we have his good promises that we can rely on, that we can hope in throughout our lives. By the power of the Spirit within us, we aslo are called to faithfulness to those whom God has given us in marriage relationship. This reflects his character of faithfulness as he lives in us.

1 Corinthians 7:10 (NASB95)

10 But to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife should not leave her husband....and that the husband should not divorce his wife.

Paul is speaking to believers in v 10-11. These are both considered followers of Jesus Christ. Both holding to the standards of holiness and obedience to God’s good design for marriage. Under NO circumstances.....should a believing wife leave her believing husband, or vice versa. There should be no reason to for both should be living in Christ-likeness towards one another, reflecting the holiness of God in the marriage. Paul is addressing this issue because Christians in Corinth were desiring to get divorced for spiritual reasons, as if being married was a distraction to their walk with Christ. As Paul addressees the woman first in these verses, we might assume that he was answering a particular question from or an issue with a believing woman who wanted to divorce her believing husband.

Paul uses the two GR words in these verses both synonymously referring to divorce. In Roman-greco culture, women had just as much legal writes as men to walk of of a marriage. Leaving physically would led to legal divorce. In Jewish culture, only men could initiate a divorce which is why women had to be given certificate of divorces. If Jewish women did not receive those certificates, a Jewish woman could not remarry and that Jewish husband had a write to take that woman back whenever he pleased, if he wanted.

So the issue in v 10-11 is that divorce between believers is prohibited. It does not reflect the character of God and it does not reflect the desire of God who states in Malachi 2:16

Malachi 2:16 (NASB95)

16 “For I hate divorce,” says the Lord, the God of Israel

Of course, in this fallen world, we want to talk about conditions, the what if questions that led to a myriad of more questions. Paul will not deal with all those answers here in the rest of his letters. We have to take all of the wisdom of God and apply it to these circumstances.

What if my husband is abusive?

What if my husband is addicted to pornography?

What if my wife is lazy and neglects her duties as a wife?

All of these particular scenarios are not specifically dealt with here by Paul. But the overarching command of God’s call to permanence is a good place to start. God does not want followers of his Son seeking divorce with their spouses. The reason is given in verse 11,

1. Permanence v 10

2. Reconciliation v11

1 Corinthians 7:11 NASB95

11 (but if she does leave, she must remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband should not divorce his wife.

Paul does address one major issue of his day, divorce for the sake of remarriage. If a believer is seeking to divorce because he or she has lost that loving feeling, or is seeking a relationship with someone else, then that believer is in sin and this is a matter of church discipline. The church should step in an address issues that might lead to restoration not violation of the marriage covenant. So Paul states that reconciliation is the key. Reconciliation is the second aspect of marriages between followers of Christ, behind permanence. The wife or husband should seek reconciliation with marriage conflicts instead of seeking the dissolution of what God had joined together. The believer seeking the divorce should remain unmarried in Paul’s teaching because reconciliation is the goal of a Christian marriage.

This stands apart from unresolved conflict in marriages of unbelievers. Resentment wins the day in so many of these relationships so that the erosion of love and fidelity continues in that marriage relationship until one partner or both cannot take it anymore. They do not forgive They do not reconcile. They sweep it under the rug and every unresolved conflicts is like walking around with small shards of glass in your shoes. One, two or three is bearable, but eventually, you have had enough.

Reconciliation is the key because again, Christ is the center of marriages between believers. There should exist forgiveness, self-denial, serving the needs of others over oneself, honor, and respect. If there is not, the church is there to intervene and apply spiritual guidance and discipline if necessary. The church aids in reconciliation. If not, then its because one of both of the spouses are rejecting the truth of God’s word, rejecting the wisdom of believers in the church and therefore, according to Matthew 18, they should be considered an unbeliever.

What about adultery, pastor? Isn’t adultery a way out of marriage between believers? Well, Jesus did address divorce in Matthew 19 and so for the sake of clarity about the subject, let us revisit this passage that we previously look at in our study through the gospels. Jesus wisdom also give notice that God’s design of permanent faithful marriage is the goal and most pleasing in his sight.

B. Jesus Affirms God’s Good Design for Marriage (Matt 19:3-9)

What did Jesus teach regarding divorce?

Context: Jesus is dealing with the culture of his day just as Paul does as he writes 1 Cor. For Jesus, the issue of marriage and divorce was from a Jewish context, while Paul’s was more a Roman-greco one. For Jesus, we will see he is dealing to two prevading teachings on divorce from two leading Jewish authorites among the people. These two groups stemmed from the Jewish teachers of Hillel and Shammai. Both taught from different interpretations of the OT passages on divorce in Deut 24. Those under the teaching of Hillel belived that divorce was

Matthew 19:3–9 NASB95

3 Some Pharisees came to Jesus, testing Him and asking, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason at all?” 4 And He answered and said, “Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female, 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? 6 “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” 7 They said to Him, “Why then did Moses command to give her a certificate of divorce and send her away?” 8 He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way. 9 “And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”

Notice that Jesus takes them back further in the Pentateuch, to Genesis, which was also written by Moses to clarify that God ordains and sanctifies the permanence of marriage. Jesus is trying to get them back on track on this issue of marriage since they had taken the Lev 24 passage and clearly misinterpreted it before the people. He reminds them of 3 foundational elements of marriage:

A. Differing Genders

Along with the creation of the martial union, Jesus reminds the Pharisees that marriage was between one man and one woman. Even in Moses day, the idea of sexual immorality that led to divorces were a result of sexual sin in various forms like incest, homosexuality, etc. To try and create marriages that are between two men, two woman, or biological relatives is to go against the natural plan of God for marriage for differing genders of husband and wife.

People who want to honor God and the union of marriage that He created will not try and dilute, manipulate or change the order in which God designed it. Marriage only fitting before God when it is a marriage between a man and a woman. All others versions can be called marriage in the eyes of earthly magistrates and officials but it is not marriage blessed by God nor supported by His church.

A.Differing Genders

B. Distinctly Separated and then Permanently United

The process by which God makes marriage unique is the marriage bond which is precluded by the cutting ties with mother and father. The leaving of parents is important to the marital bond because it a God multiplying humanity on the face of the earth by creating new family units. This is fulfilling the command that husband and wife will be fruitful and multiply. They will grow as children into adults, God will join them with a spouse and that young man and woman will separate from their parents and from a new family unity. Where once their was dependance upon parents, now will be a newly joined couple united as one flesh, depending upon each other and God alone as they rule the earth as God’s image bearers.

As we consider these truths, let me encourage parents that God has designed the current or future marriages of your children to be free from your interference and assistance. There is such a crippling effect upon marriages these days when mothers and fathers are still financially supporting, relationally reconciling, or personally leading the marriages of their children. God commanded newly couples to leave their parents and join to their spouse, not bleed their parents and enjoy it with their spouse. This leaving and cleaving of marriage is as necessary as the caterpillar who struggles daily out of its cocoon in order to develop healthy wings that can fly!

Similarly, the uniting of the man and wife as one flesh is unique to all human relationships. This is more than the physical consummation of the marriage with intimacy although this is a key component. The oneness of husband and wife is not to be shared with any other person but to be enjoyed as the beautiful God-ordained companionship for as long as you both shall live.

A. Differing Genders

B. Distinctly Separated and then Permanently United

C. Divinely Ordained

What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

God’s plan before the creation of the world was that He would carry out the plan of redemption for his people through his Son Jesus. His people would need this redemption because of their sinful rebellion against God and this redemption would be the beautiful expression of God’s love. In God’s eternal plan to carry out this redemptive work for people on the earth, God designed humanity to be separated by gender and placed into family units. These families would be led by a husband with his wife. This marriage that is ordained and created by God is chosen by God to illustrate on a small scale the large redemptive work that Christ would carry out for His people the church. This is why Paul in Eph 5 tells us that husbands should love their wives as Christ loves the church and gave himself up for her. Such a beautiful and perfectly planned marital ordinance created by God is not one to be trifled with.

As Jesus finishes his revisit to the beginning of when God created the institution of marriage, the Pharisees rebuttal in vs 7

Matthew 19:7–9 NASB95

7 They said to Him, “Why then did Moses command to give her a certificate of divorce and send her away?” 8 He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way. 9 “And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”

Notice how the Pharisees express their confusion over what Jesus said but also their confusion over what Moses commanded and what he did not. As I said before, Moses never commanded the certificate of divorce for He knew the importance of God’s marriage union and the permanence that belongs to it. Yet the Pharisees ask Jesus,

“Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce

Look with me at Jesus reply again,

“Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.

Jesus is clearly taking them back once again to Genesis as if to say, you may derive a different understanding of marriage but you need to return to the design which God created at the beginning.

THE EXCEPTION CLAUSE

Matthew 19:9 NASB95

9 “And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”

It is very similarly said in Matthew 5:

Matthew 5:32 NASB95

32 but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

This is known as the exception clause and it has been the great debated phrase in the history of the NT church regarding the issue of divorce and remarriage? You can find a large stack of books which spend the majority of their pages explaining and making their point about their interpretation of this exception clause.

What is at stake in interpreting these passages? What falls in line after looking to these verses is your view on divorce and remarriage. Questions are answered from the interpretation of this passage like: Is the marriage bond able to be broken? If so, what is it that violates and breaks the bond? Is Jesus making an exception here to God’s ordained design for marriage?

Three statements to frame our thinking in the context as a review:

There were Jews who fell under teaching of Hillel that divorce was permissible “for any cause of indecency in the eyes of the husband towards his wife.” This is the liberal view and this always followed with divorce. It was a Jewish man’s escape from marriage when his wife was unappealing to him anymore.

There were other Jews that fell under the interpretation of Shammai that taught that divorce was required in cases of sexual immorality. This was the conservative view and the one I believe Jesus more closely and yet not fully aligned with.

Jesus did not believe that Moses was condoning divorce from the Deuteronomy passage and thus does not deal with Moses as much as dealing with the true design of marriage by God.

The first group is the NO REMARRIAGE AND NO DIVORCE.

The second group is DIVORCE BUT NO REMARRIAGE

The third group is DIVORCE AND REMARRIAGE IN ONE CASE: Sexual Immorality

This would be the view that I humbly hold in fear and trembling before greater scholars that myself. Jesus is teaching these disciples that only in the case of “PORNEIA” is a partner given permission to seek divorce. What is PORNEIA in the Greek? It is sexual immorality that involves a sexual act outside the bond of marriage. This is the ultimate attack against the joining and union of God that bonds a man and a woman into one flesh in the marriage bond. A consummated marriage is a marriage where husband and wife demonstrate their spiritual bond professed before God and their marital witnesses. A Sexual act by a husband or wife outside of marriage thus directly attacks this marriage bond.

This is different interpretation yet more closely connected to Shammai’s interpretation except for one point: Rabbi Shammai had taught that divorce was required in the event of a divorce. Jesus never commands or required divorce. To do so would be refuting his previous statements about peacemaking, reconciliation, humility, and being poor in spirit. While God does allow a divorce in the case of sexual immorality, he is most glorified when a couple reconciles in spite of such offense.

I have heard many who believe that they must divorce in these circumstances because they will never be able to trust their spouse or they will never be able to forget the offense. I cannot imagine the effect of such a violation of the marriage bond but let me encourage any marriage couple who goes through such a tragedy, please first try and reconcile. If God can turn the wicked and rebellious heart towards himself, then surely He can take a violation of marriage convent and make it whole over time. Believe that in sexually immoral attacks against your marriage, it is never God’s desire that you divorce. He only allows such a scenario because the adultery already has severed the marriage union through adultery but that commitment can be renewed and the marriage bed healed by His grace as well.

John Stott comments-

So, speaking personally as a Christian pastor, whenever somebody asks to speak with me about divorce, I have now for some years steadfastly refused to do so. I have made the rule never to speak with anybody about divorce, until I have first spoken with him (or her) about two other subjects, namely marriage and reconciliation

Secondly, we must see how distinct this teaching is from the Hillel side of the Jewish tradition. This is the stronger of the two views of the Jews as Jesus states that a no-cause divorce is completely unimaginable in the eyes of God. For the people of God to assume that any “indecency” found within a partner delivers a justifiable cause for divorce is not God centered but purely man-centered thinking. In such cases, when a divorce occurs because the husband did not fulfill the wives expectations or the wife nagged the husband too greatly, a divorce for such an offense is not only sin but it leads to remarriages that lead to adultery. Why? Because the bond is still intact. There has been no break of that bond with sexual immorality, thus the husband and wife are still one flesh and when they divorce or remarry for any cause, this leads to the breaking of the 7th commandment. This is the exception clause that Jesus is referring to in both Matthew 5:32 and Matthew 19:9.

Getting back to Paul and what can even be implied from Jesus’ teaching, is marriage is designed to be permanent union between man and a woman. When conflict arises, reconciliation is the key, even with adultery since Jesus does not command divorce in cases of adultery, he only permits it. Instead, let us look at Jesus Christ, by the power of his Holy Spirit and see that He wants marriage to remain bonded tightly, overcoming adversity and conflict, because in this there is the glory of the gospel that shines brightly from the darkness that pervades moments of marriage.

The world wants you to give up by God’s desires that you fight hard to honor the Lord in preserving your marriage. If you and your spouse both follow the Lord Jesus, there is not a tragedy or adversity that He cannot empower you to over come in your marriage. Do not lose hope in His power and his purposes to glorify his name through adversity.

II. The Command for Marriages with Unbelievers (vs. 12-16)

A. Marriage with unbelievers reflects Christ and the gospel

1. Permanence v12-13

2. Mission v14

3. Peace v15

4. Sovereignty v16