Wedding | Rafael and Karla Barboza

SERVICE OF MARRIAGE Prior to Service: Enter Notes Below: Page !1 of !13

Words of Welcome: To congregation: On behalf of Rafael and Karla, I want to extend to you a very warm welcome. We have gathered together in the presence of God to join Rafael and Karla in sacred marriage, an institution ordained by God, and to be honored by all people. It is the means through which God seeks to establish welfare and joy among the family. Through the witness of Scripture, we learn that God instructed all those who enter into this relationship to cherish one another with a mutual love; to share in the infirmities and weaknesses of one another; to comfort one another in sickness, trouble, and sorrow; to provide for one another; and, to partner with one another and the Holy Spirit to bless the world. It is for this purpose today, Rafael and Karla, that you stand before God, one another, and these witnesses... to become united in sacred marriage and to celebrate the formation of a new family for the glory of our Lord Jesus Christ. To the Bride and Groom: Rafael and Karla, we feel a such deep sense of joy to celebrate this sacred union with you. As we witness both of you make this covenant to one another before God, know that we’ve have been praying for you and will continue to do so as you begin your new life together. You are not alone. We stand with you. Prayer: Page !2 of !13

Would you pray with me: God, we thank you for the real life and love that only you made available to us through the sacrifice of your son, Jesus. We praise you, and give you our gratitude. Lord, as we align our hearts and wills to you. Thank you for Rafael and Karla. Thank you for their friendship together, along with every person gathered here today. Thank you for joining their lives together. We ask that you forever unite Rafael and Karla together through the bond of your love. Remain with us now and always. In you name, Amen. Word of Explanation: Today, in the company of those whom they love, Rafael and Karla will declare their intent to marry, exchange vows, and give rings, all done in the full knowledge of what this sacred union of marriage means. This kind of union - this kind of love - which initially drew them together so long ago, now demands from them the highest form of human co-operation and sharing. The covenant of marriage is binding until the day that death shall separate them. Declaration of Intent: Rafael and Karla, before God and this gathering of family and friends, I am going to ask you to declare your intent to enter into the marriage covenant: Rafael, will you have Karla to be your wife, to live together in the holy covenant of marriage; will you love her, comfort her, honor and keep her, in sickness and in health; and forsaking all others, be Page !3 of !13

faithful to her so long as you both shall live? If so, then answer, “I do.” Karla, will you have Rafael to be your husband, to live together in the holy covenant of marriage; will you love him, comfort him, honor and keep him, in sickness and in health; and forsaking all others, be faithful to him so long as you both shall live? If so, then answer, “I do.” Now, to your witnesses gathered with you, do you promise to stand with Rafael and Karla in their marriage together, supporting them, honoring them, and praying for them? If so, then answer, “We do.” Scripture Reading: I would like to read a collection of short passages from the book of Ephesians chapters 4 and 5 that emphasize well the importance of community and love as you begin your marriage together. It reads: Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called - one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all. Therefore, each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one Body. In your anger do not offend. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry. Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful in building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Get rid of all Page !4 of !13

bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as in Christ, God forgave you. Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. Wedding Homily: Rafael and Karla, I want to offer the two of you and your witnesses gathered here today a simple, yet profound charge: Serve one another. In the passage you just heard, Paul began his letter by stating, ‘be humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.’ This instruction demands sacrifice on behalf of yourself for the other... rooted in faith... and draped in humility. The true essence of humility means more than just merely thinking Page !5 of !13

about yourself less, it actually means not thinking about yourself... at all. True humility means completely taking yourself out of the equation - for the sake of the other. Marriage is a selfless relationship. Bearing one another in love means setting aside your wants and needs in order to shoulder the burdens - the cares - the joys - the successes - the losses - the “everything” of the other. Humility is the solid bedrock on which to build a life long sustaining marriage. Even Jesus, the very Son of God who alone deserves all of our praise and glory, did not hold onto his rights and privileges as the Son of God, but instead, he made himself a servant. Jesus gave up his ‘everything’ - his prestige - wants - desires - for the sake the world whom he loved... for the sake of his bride, the church, and calls those who enter into this sacred marriage covenant to do the same. Rafael and Karla, you are to love one another with that same kind of humility and sacrifice that, ultimately, calls you to set aside your rights as individuals for the benefit and blessing of the other. If you want to know the secret sauce to every successful marriage... it’s not money... or time... or even good communication... it’s humble servanthood. Everything good in marriage flows from serving the other. If you constantly set aside yourself and make your mission in marriage to serve the other, then ironically - and truly, this is the great secret of marriage - your needs will always be met. And you will discover a rare kind of joy in marriage that only a few ever find. Page !6 of !13

Therefore, I implore both of you to make your “marriage mission” about serving the another. Rafael, your marriage mission is to serve Karla. Karla, your marriage mission is to serve Rafael. In doing so, nearly every other aspect of your marriage will work itself out - conflict, mis-communication, different ideas about raising children, who does what household chore - if you constantly seek to serve and want the best for the other, then these other things become less of a life tidal wave and more of a manageable ripple. Now, Rafael, this will mean giving Karla your undivided attention when she shares her thoughts... her ideas... her cares with you. And Karla, this will mean allowing Rafael a bit of space at times to decompress. Only the two of you know what serving the other means, but one thing I can say... your history and shared experiences together have built a lasting bond between the two of you that today becomes solidified in the Spirit. Both of you know how to serve one another well. Keep after it, and let it shape your life in Christ together. Bearing one another in love means remaining by one another through every argument, every illness, and every joy. It means always choosing your spouse - always choosing your spouse - ahead of yourself, no matter what person or thing, attempts to drive a wedge between the unity of your marriage. Page !7 of !13

This here [point to the two of them] is now priority one. Hold onto those unique qualities that make up the foundation of your friendship, for God graciously formed those distinct qualities within you so that you may serve one another throughout the awesome journey of your marriage. In the passages I read a moment ago, Paul described in the book of Ephesians, a few key components that make up a healthy marriage: First is ‘hope.’ Hope is rooted in the love of God for us through Jesus Christ, a reality and expectation that extends beyond ourselves. One well known theologian once said, “We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.” I think every married couple would agree that finite disappointments, grudges, and conflicts can feel like an eternity. But in reality, they only last as long as you want them to. You decide when to end conflicts and grudges. Cherish the kind of hope that’s infinite, and let that become your perspective. Another key component is ‘unity.’ Remain together no matter what the obstacle. During our time together, we talked quite a bit about obstacles that both of you have overcome... together. At the time, obstacles in your marriage can seem daunting, tiring, and even threatening to your marriage and family. But over time, they can become the bricks that build your foundation Page !8 of !13

for a healthy, long-term marriage. See those bricks as opportunities for growth. As you lay them down, remember each brick and learn from its lesson. Furthermore, remain united to your community - your family, friends, and your church. See these people gathered here. These are your people... for better and for worse... who support you... care for you... and love you. Hold onto them, no matter what the cost. Fight for them... in the same way that all of you [[[look at the witnesses]]] must fight for Rafael and Karla. And finally... Forgive one another, just as in Christ, God forgave you. Forgiveness may be the most important important component of a healthy marriage, yet also, the most difficult one to carry out. Forgiveness requires that you fully commit to humble servanthood, forsaking your desires and wants for the benefit of the other. Rafael you are to forgive Karla just as you have been forgiven by Jesus. Karla you are to forgive Rafael just as you have been forgiven by Jesus. Family and Friends, you are to forgive one another just as you have been forgiven by Jesus. Forgiveness is the fullest expression of humility. I hope you come to realize that as you offer forgiveness to the other, you not only set them free from carrying the rocks of grudges and hurt, but in so doing, you set free yourself to live into the very real and satisfying life that Jesus promised for you all along. Page !9 of !13

Karla, submit to Rafael, respect him and honor him in all that you do. Humbly serve him, cherish the source of your hope, maintain your bond of unity, and always forgive him when he falls short. Rafael, love Karla and sacrifice for her in the same way that Christ sacrificed himself for the church. The full charge and responsibility of marriage goes to you, my friend. Feel it. Maintain her purity, and keep your marriage holy, set apart, and engaged on mission for the glory of Christ in the world! Let’s pray together... Exchanging of Vows: We now come to the moment when Rafael and Karla will exchange their vows to one another. They will exchange the traditional Christian vows spoken of other couples throughout the centuries. Would you please face one another and join hands: Rafael, please repeat after me: I, Rafael,... take you Karla,... to be my lawfully wedded wife,... to have and to hold... from this day forward,... for better or for worse,... for richer, for poorer,... in sickness and in health,... to love and to cherish,... from this day forward... until death do us part. Karla, please repeat after me: I, Karla,... take you Rafael,... to be my lawfully wedded husband,... to have and to hold... from this day forward,... for better or for Page !10 of !13

worse,... for richer, for poorer,... in sickness and in health,... to love and to cherish,... from this day forward... until death do us part. Exchanging of Rings: The wedding ring symbolizes both the unending love and commitment made to one another, as well as the unending love and commitment made by God to us. Rafael, please repeat after me: With this ring,... I pledge my life... and my love to you. Karla, please repeat after me: With this ring,... I pledge my life... and my love to you. Prayer of Blessing Please pray with me: O God, our Heavenly Father, who created love and is defined by love, thank you for establishing the institution of marriage for the welfare and happiness of humankind. You have said, "it is not good for man to be alone. I will make a helpmate for him." Now our joys are doubled since the happiness of one is now shared with another. Now our burdens are now halved since the troubles of one is now shared with another. Bless Rafael as he becomes Karla’s husband. May his strength be Karla’s protection; his character be her boast and pride. May Karla find in Rafael her haven and security so that her heart may continue Page !11 of !13

to grow toward Christ. Bless Karla as she becomes Rafael’s wife. May her tenderness be Rafael’s honor; her love be his boast and pride. May Rafael find in Karla his respect and care so that his heart may continue to grow toward Christ. May you teach them humility and a softness of heart and mind toward one another. Lord, unite their hands to serve you. Grant them a great purpose in life. May they seek your kingdom and righteousness, and all other things shall be added unto them. May they come to know that perfection alone belongs to you. May you grant them wisdom to minimize each other’s weaknesses, boldness to praise each other’s strength, and clarity to see each other through your kind and patient eyes. Lord, give them enough tears to keep them tender, enough hurts to keep them compassionate, enough failures to keep their hands clenched in Yours, and enough successes to keep them confident in your provision. May they never take one another for granted, but always experience that breathless wonder that exclaims, "out of all this world you chose me." And Lord, when life is done and the sun is setting, may they be found as now, hand in hand, still thanking you for each other, until at last one shall lay the other into your arms. This we ask through Jesus Christ, the great lover of our souls, Amen. Page !12 of !13

Pronouncement: Rafael and Karla, today before one another, your family and friends and your Heavenly Father, you made a sacred covenant together, pledging and committing your lives to one other and committing your joint relationship to God. As your community, we witnessed the two of you exchange your solemn vows, give rings, and join hands. By the privilege vested upon me by God, I now pronounce you, husband and wife. Kiss : Rafael, you may know kiss your bride. Benediction: As we depart, I would like to invite all of us to stand and join hands together as we pray a final ancient blessing over Rafael and Karla. May the Lord bless you and keep you, Rafael and Karla. May the Lord make His face shine upon you, And be gracious to you; May the Lord lift up His countenance upon you, And give you peace. Amen Presentation: Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present to you for the very first time, Mr. and Mrs. Barboza. Page !13 of !13