The Single Pringle
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Introduction
Introduction
This past Christmas was an interesting one. It was the first time I had ever not spent Christmas with my family.
Now frankly, we spent our whole thanksgiving break with my family. We so desperately wanted to spend Christmas here and so we decided to devote our time to Decatur and spend the following week with Caroline’s family.
Caroline’s family BALLS OUT for Christmas. I am usually surprised when my mom buys me clothes I actually like.
Usually, every Christmas, Caroline’s family surprises us with a gift that we both benefit from.
As we were opening gifts, they were absolutely amazing. Caroline, being the only daughter in the house, managed to have MANY boxes in front of her to open… I was done, very satisfied with what I had received.
Truly, I am so so thankful. In fact, my nicer part of my wardrobe is from my mother in law.
Caroline had this box that was rather large… I was steadily eyeing it but anxiously waiting to see what was in it…
As she opened the box, she begin to freak out. I stood up in excitement ready to receive something with her, thinking it would be an appliance or something that was so exciting.
As I looked at the opened box, I quickly became confused and somewhat uncertain of the hype filling the room.
Caroline had just received new bedding for our room… and she was yelling like she had won a million bucks.
I was incredibly doubtful that this bedding was a big deal...
Almost two months later, I have given many thoughts to buying a suitcase specifically for the bedding we have to travel and sleep in everywhere!
Why am I telling you this story?
Sometimes what we are given in the moment is not what we really think we need or even what we want.
But if we trust that what we have been given is good for us, we will benefit from the investment in the long run...
When we think about singleness, we often raise an eyebrow at the status, struggling to see what it is actually worth.
Why is that? Why do we struggle to invest and buy in to singleness as a good thing?
(Relevant Magazine)
If you are single, your dating life is public domain.
We are often cornered into awkward conversations because culturally, people assume that your relationship status, when not currently taken, rightly involves their opinion.
You shouldn’t share anything with just anybody. Everyone doesn’t own everything.
If you are single, then you are selfish.
If you are single, then you are not really growing up.
Relationships involve commitment, and no relationship points to unwillingness to commit, and now you’re labeled as immature.
With this pressure, we find ourselves chasing, attempting to fill a void, searching, seeking...
Doing everything we can to make sense of the world, make sense of singleness, while also protecting what we feel should be valued...
But the problem is there is confusion. And where there is confusion, there is pressure. Especially when we think everyone else is clear...
But that’s not the case.
However, God’s word brings clarity to the longing soul. It always does! In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul addresses this season of singleness with encouragement and clarity.
7 I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.
Singleness is a gift.
Singleness is a gift.
Paul calls singleness a gift...
Current surveys read that 96% of all individuals long to be married at some point.
This means that singleness is a gift that nobody wants.
There is a reason you single, will be single, or should be single.
35 I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.
The wish was for your own good! Singleness benefits you, he says!
“Not to lay any restraint upon you.” This literally means to not tie a rope around your neck.
God’s reason for putting a rope around your neck is not to choke you, to hold you back, or to hurt you.
In fact, the most loving thing God can do or has done is singleness.
So what is singleness for?
35 I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.
Singleness is meant for you to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.
What exactly does it mean to promote good order?
The Bible is declaring that God made you single right now because he wants to promote in you a worldview and a lifestyle that fits your environment.
He wants to champion something in you.
He has a plan for developing you into something that is special for such a time as this!
Look what the context of that verse is.
29 This is what I mean, brothers: the appointed time has grown very short. From now on, let those who have wives live as though they had none, 30 and those who mourn as though they were not mourning, and those who rejoice as though they were not rejoicing, and those who buy as though they had no goods, 31 and those who deal with the world as though they had no dealings with it. For the present form of this world is passing away.
He isn’t saying, “hide yo kids, hide you girls, hide ya wives.”
However, Paul was reminding us that these relationships aren’t the main story line of your life.
I am not saying he doesn’t care… He created marriage.. He cares about it more than we do I dare say!
What is the main story?
9 Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, 10 nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. 11 And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.
The main story is that God is on the move.
He is seeking to restore all things… even you. You need restoring. He is in this business. This is what matters above all…
But this is why in verse 29 of chapter 7 Paul says, “The appointed time has grown short.”
We must understand that the amount of time we have should affect how we respond and live.
The way you play a game with 9 seconds left is completely different than the way you play the first quarter.
Life is short. When we consider the world, relationship statuses are not nearly as important as soul statuses.
Therefore, with what matters becomes the center of our focus, both in and through us… we can rightly understand singleness as an opportunity presented by the Lord.
Singleness is an opportunity.
Singleness is an opportunity.
16 For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him.
FOR HIM.
Whether you believe this or not, we were not only created by Him, but also for Him.
He restores us in such a way that He uses us as His method for restoration as well.
Singleness has an advantage that other relationship statuses don’t offer...
I am not saying that dating or marriage doesn’t have its advantages… It certainly does when leveraged for the Kingdom of God.
However, those don’t outweigh the advantages of singleness.
Singleness is leveraged differently, yet carries an advantage like non other.
The difference between my season now, and the season of singleness.
Leave whenever, go whenever, do whatever. Period.
There is a report from Philip Zimbardo, the chair of Western Psychological Foundation, that the average person, by the time they turn 21, has spent 10,000 hours playing video games...
It takes half of that to earn an undergrad bachelors degree.
I don’t care if you are big into video games… This isn’t a boomer rant.
If it is a regular part of your life, I do wonder if you are missing the point.
The world around us is on fire today.
15 For we are the aroma of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing, 16 to one a fragrance from death to death, to the other a fragrance from life to life. Who is sufficient for these things?
How can we be a pleasing aroma to the Lord if we aren’t believing His word, living this life in obedience to Him?
Don’t spend this season of your life saving fantasy worlds on a screen while the real world is on fire!
Singleness is God’s plan.
Singleness is God’s plan.
No where in the Bible does it say that alligators only live in the southern region of North America.
Some things are just factual and true because of their existence. If God is creator then we must trust that God had is hand in choosing His creation to exist in such fashion.
Here is the bottom line… Singleness is something every single person experiences. This is a guaranteed season of life we live through.
Nobody is born married or engaged… Even if parents try to make that work.
35 I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.
Singleness is God’s plan to secure your devotion to the Lord.
Devotion is the combination of two concepts...
good or well and “to be close beside”
Single, Dating, Engaged, Married: Navigating Life and Love in the Modern Age 2 // The Purpose of Singleness
Think of a good waiter at a restaurant. He is attentive in both of these respects. He is attentive to your words, listening carefully as you speak. He is also attending to your wishes, working hard to fulfill your desires. We are meant to be attentive to the Lord in the same way.
We express our devotion to the Lord in our attentiveness to His word and and to His work.
I have seen this season abused, skipped, and avoided.
If you are not promoting what is good, if you are not or have not secured your devotion to the Lord, let me warn you of the dangers of engaging in future relationships...
The divorce rate is over 50%.
I recently asked someone I love that if they knew their relationship would end in divorce, would you have changed past decisions...
Obvious answer.
So then we end with this burning question.
Is singleness more spiritual?
Am i supposed to do that right now? Even though I am in a relationship?
I want to be married, but I also want to pursue Jesus!
Assuming you pursue devotion to the Lord and promote what is good...
Some of you will be given this gift of singleness for a season and it will pass. Different lengths for some of you for sure.
Some of you, you will be a single for a while. God has given you the grace to endure it.
Some of you will never marry.
The unmarried life is not an unfulfilled life.
You can have deep fulfillment and be unmarried.
Others of you will marry. You will link arms and continue to make a kingdom impact.
But whether your season of singleness is long or short, you can know that God has granted you this season as a gift.
It has a purpose, to pursue and undistracted devotion to Him.
What does this look like for you?