Life Together
Notes
Transcript
Isn't that just sweet?
I mean every-time I watch a video like that, I just think one day I hope I am like that couple.
But as you can imagine its a lot of hard work
And really its easy to look at a relationship like that and think why is my relationship not that sweet?
Why has a news crew not interviewed me about my love story.
But you know on a serious note whether its in our marriage, our relationship with our kids or even our relationship with the people we work with,
and its easy to go well that persons relationship is really good, why isn’t mine,
Why does their family have all these cute instagram worthy photos and then when my family gets together we end up on the news for a fight
Why does that persons seem to have this great relationship with their boss and coworkers while there is just a ton of drama with mine.
Why do other marriages seem great, but mine is falling apart.
And so here is what we are going to do today, because relationships are tough, (say that with me) “Relationships are tough”
But heres the thing because while relationships are tough, but today we are looking at a passage where the author of this book, Paul, gives us instructions on how we are to navigate relationships and specifically he focused in on the relationship with our spouse, the relationship with our parents or kids, and the relationship between the people we work with.
And so we are in Ephesians 5:21-6:9 and there is a lot here,
But before we get into this passage I have to give this warning because this is a really powerful passage, but like a lot of great things we see satan distorting it to turn it into something its not.
and while this is a passage is great, people have used it to justify abuse, and to tear others down.
And before we even get into the passage I want to give a primary point, that Paul has given throughout his letter which is that our primary identity is with God,
And really we need to navigate the other relationships in our life through the lens of our primary relationship with God,
Because this passage tells us to submit to others, and this can be beautiful thing, unless those areas of submission are things that are against God’s will
If your spouse is being abusive or manipulative and is just pushing you against God’s will, your primary allegiance is with God.
We need to interpret this entire passage through the lens of that God is the primary relationship,
and we serve a God who wants the other relationships in our life to be life giving.
So with that lets go ahead and dive into the passage today and just start in verse 21. It says this:
21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
So one of the first thing that Paul tells us here is that almost all relationships require a level of submission.
And think of this even on a simple level of if you are going to a restaurant with someone
And you want Taco Bell and the person your with wants KFC,
Either you guys go to war, or someone submits through a comprimise or saying yes lets go to your choice.
And this is really simple but at this time it would have been revolutionary,
Because the culture at this time was really oppressive
And the Roman government during this time would actually assign a head of the household which would be the man.
And that man would oversee his wife, his children and if they had any bondservants, they would be in charge of them.
And what would happen if any of the people under the husband would do anything wrong according to the Roman government, then the man would actually be punished.
And so this would lead to extreme oppression, and often times abuse for those who were in the household under the father.
And in the middle of this Paul is saying HOLD ON, this is not right!
And this is where he goes into how God has designed the relationships we are in.
Look at this next part because in verses 22-28
And this is where Paul talks about marriage. And I want you we are looking at the husband and wives role together:
it says this:
22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
You know every time this passage is read everyone focuses on the first part which is the wives role.
And the husbands go this is a great passage, and the wives go Paul is a pig
But here is the thing because we read the first couple verses and we stop,
But heres the thing because Paul wants us to read these verses together.
Because He says wives submit to your husbands in everything, but then he says husbands love your wife and Christ loved the church
Do you know how Christ loved the church?
He came down and died for it. You see we read that first part and go God is asking a lot out of the women.
But in my opinion He is asking about the same for men
Because he is even saying I want you to give yourself up for her, the way Christ gave himself.
Meaning (after God) place her first!
And I want you to catch what he is saying because really he is saying wives make sure your husband is first, but then he is saying husbands make sure your wife is first.
And then have God as the head of the relationship
And this sounds simple, but its hard isn’t it?
Because if you are married both partners a lot of times are not perfect (Arika pretty close but she got stuck with me right?)
But Christ calls us to stumble forward together and work through those times where the other falls short.
And there are times where it is appropriate to leave and I would even encourage you to talk with Arika and I if you feel like you are in one of those places.
But I want you to catch one more really important part that Paul mentions, because to often we focus on the roles of marriage,
But we miss the goal of marriage that is given in verse 29. It says:
Ephesians 5:28–29 (ESV)
29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church,
You know if you are married you know part of the ceremony they say two shall become one, right?
Repersenting the union and a lot of times we think the goal of a marriage is to be happy,
But this verse tells us the focus of our marriage is not just to be happy (altough hopefully happieness is there) but he says we are to nurish and cherish our marriage and I love how some translations put it because they use the word grow.
And here what I want you to get, because marriage is designed to help us grow closer to God.
Because if you have been married there are probably ways your spouse stretched you.
A lot of you know this but Arika is the generous one in our relationship and I would give to the church and things like that, but before we were married I was like scrooge from a Christmas Carol,
And the longer we have been married I really have been given a more generous heart towards others.
I mean the point of marriage is not happieness, but Hollieness.
Lets keep moving, because we have more to get too, because I want to jump down to chapter 6 verses 1-4 because Paul shifts to a parent and child relationship.
He says this:
1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), 3 “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” 4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
So this passage starts with the kids and it once again points out something really simple, obey your parents and honor them.
and kids here is what I want you to understand, because your parents have probably been around the block a few times, and when they are asking you to do something or not do something, its not because they enjoy torturing you.
But I can almost guarantee that its because they love you and have your best interest in mind
And so this is the place where a lot of times parents nudge their kids, but here the thing, because it addresses the fathers and really even the mothers
Do not be to harsh to on your children or provoke them.
You know its easy to lash out on your kids, and there is obviously a place for punishment
But the issue is so often our punishment comes out of our anger rather than out of our care for the child.
And when we do this we end up tearing them down,
And Paul actually says that instead of tearing down we need to build up our kids in the Lord.
And I need to pause here, and I will say this whenever I have a chance, but parents you have such a big impact on your kids,
In fact you have the primary role in teaching your kids about Jesus.
Well lets look at this last part because Paul tackles this last area:
because the last one is between bond servants and masters,
And just to be clear this is not slavery. The Bible never condones slavery, but the bondservant this passage is discussing is almost like the relationship between a boss and supervisor
And these are the last few verses in 5-9 and it says this:
Ephesians 6:5–8 NIV
5 Slaves, obey your earthly masters with respect and fear, and with sincerity of heart, just as you would obey Christ. 6 Obey them not only to win their favor when their eye is on you, but as slaves of Christ, doing the will of God from your heart. 7 Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not people, 8 because you know that the Lord will reward each one for whatever good they do, whether they are slave or free.
You know all of these are hard, but this one is a pretty difficult one.
Because if you work somewhere its really easy to just get a bad attitude, and think my supervisor is terrible, they do not know what they are doing
And there may be truth to that, but it still says to respect and not just that but to do your job in a way that brings glory to the Lord.
I mean people should look at you and go wow that person is a great worker and its not because we love our supervisor, but its because we are working as if we are serving the Lord,
And then lets look at this last part because it says this: in verse 9 and this is if you are in a leadership or supervisor role it says:
Ephesians 6:9 NIV
9 And masters, treat your slaves in the same way. Do not threaten them, since you know that he who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and there is no favoritism with him.
Basically masters or supervisors treat the people under you, how I have instructed them to treat you
And not just that but remember that you may be in a position of power over them where you are their supervisor, but your supervisor is God, and he views you as an equal
You are not better then them, so treat them like brothers and sisters in Christ. Amen?
So I know this was a lot wasn't it?
But now you know exactly how to live with everyone and you are good right?
Probably not, because here is the tough part, we have these guidelines on relationships, but sometimes relationships are messy
And sometimes you know we can live this the best we can but its really hard when the other person is not living up to there role.
And this morning maybe your saying I want to fix the relationship with my wife
I want to fix things with my kids or my-coworkers or wherever, but it is messy.
My situation was not listed here!
Can I just give you this encouragement, when this was written the world was much messier then it is today.
And while there is not always a clear way forward
We serve a God who is pursuing, he is pursuing you, He is pursuing your spouse, your kids and your coworker.
And if
Christ came down over 2000 years ago to enter into our messy relationships, don’t you believe He can do that in our relationships today.
And so as we close we are going to be receiving communion and in this we remember Christ coming down in the mess of our world and relationships.
And maybe today you can just be praying God what is the step I need to take today,
Maybe its repenting, maybe its reaching out, maybe its giving space.
But what would it look like for Christ to enter that place.
So I am going to pray and I would invite you to come forward when you are ready to receive the elements and then after the song I will discus communion a little more in depth and then we will receive them together.