Wedding | Richard McDonnough and Taylor Lyden

SERVICE OF MARRIAGE

Prior to Service:

Enter Notes Below:

(congregation seated)

Words of Welcome:

To congregation:

On behalf of Richard and Taylor, I want to extend to you a very warm welcome.

Richard and Taylor invite all of you to be fully present and attentive during their ceremony, so we kindly ask to please turn off all of your electronic devices and cameras.

We have gathered together in this most beautiful place in the presence of God to join Richard McDonnough and Taylor Lyden in sacred marriage, an institution ordained by God, and to be honored by all people. Marriage is the means through which God seeks to establish welfare and joy among the family.

To you, Richard and Taylor, may I express on behalf of your family and friends gathered here that we feel such a deep sense of joy to celebrate this sacred union with you.

***At this time, I want to invite Taylor’s mom, Mrs. _________, to lead us in our opening prayer. Would you stand with us?

Through the witness of Scripture, we have learned that God has instructed all of those who enter into this marriage covenant to cherish one another with a mutual love; to share in the infirmities and weaknesses of one another; to comfort one another in sickness, trouble, and sorrow; to provide for one another; and, to partner with one another and the Holy Spirit to bless the world.

It is for this purpose today, Richard and Taylor, that you are standing here today before God, one another, and these witnesses… to become united in sacred marriage and to celebrate the formation of a new family for the glory of our Lord, Jesus Christ.

Word of Explanation:

Today, in the company of those whom they love, Richard and Taylor will declare their intent to marry, exchange vows, and give rings, all done in the full knowledge of what this sacred union means.

This kind of union - truly, this kind of love - now demands from them the highest form of human co-operation and sharing. The covenant of marriage is binding until the day that death shall separate them.

Declaration of Intent:

Richard and Taylor, before God and this gathering of family and friends, I am going to ask you to declare your intent to enter into this marriage covenant:

Richard, will you have Taylor to be your wife, to live together in the holy covenant of marriage; will you love her, comfort her, honor and keep her, in sickness and in health; and forsaking all others, be faithful to her for so long as you both shall live? If so, then answer, “I do.”

Taylor, will you have Richard to be your husband, to live together in the holy covenant of marriage; will you love him, comfort him, honor and keep him, in sickness and in health; and forsaking all others, be faithful to him for so long as you both shall live? If so, then answer, “I do.”

Now, to your witnesses gathered here with you today, do each one of you promise to support Richard and Taylor in their marriage together, honoring them, and praying for them? If so, then answer with an enthusiastic, “We do!”

Message Scripture Reading:

I would like to read a collection of short passages from the Apostle Paul’s letter to the church in Ephesus chapters 4 and 5 that emphasize well the essential values of marriage. He wrote:

Live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called - one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.

Therefore, each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one Body. In your anger do not offend. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry. Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful in building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as in Christ, God forgave you.

Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.

Wedding Homily:

Richard and Taylor, I want to offer both of you and your witnesses gathered here today a simple, yet profound charge: Serve one another.

In the passages that I just read, carefully hear these words: ‘be humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.’

This type of instruction demands the highest form of servanthood from both of you equally on behalf of yourself for the other… rooted in faith… and draped in humility.

The true essence of humility means more than just merely thinking about yourself less, it actually means not thinking about yourself… at all. True humility means completely taking yourself out of the equation… for the sake of the other.

Marriage is a selfless relationship. Bearing one another in love means setting aside your wants and needs in order to shoulder the burdens - the cares - the joys - the successes - the losses - the “everything” of the other.

Humility is the solid bedrock on which to build a life long sustaining marriage. Even Jesus, the very Son of God, who alone deserves all of our praise and glory, did not hold onto his rights and privileges as the Son of God, but instead, he made himself… a servant.

Jesus gave up his ‘everything’ - his prestige, his wants, his desires, and his very rights as the Son of God - for the sake the world whom he loved… for the sake of his bride, the church... and for the sake of each one of you… Richard, Taylor, and your witnesses gathered here today… and he calls all of those who enter into this sacred marriage covenant to do the very same.

Richard and Taylor, you are to love one another with that same kind of humility and service, which, ultimately, calls both of you to set aside your rights as individuals for the benefit and the blessing of the other.

In fact, if you want to know the secret sauce to a successful marriage… it’s not money… or time… or even good communication… it’s good old fashioned humble servanthood.

That’s it.

Everything good in marriage flows out of serving the other. If you consistently set aside yourself and make your mission in marriage to serve the other, then ironically - and truly, this is the great secret of marriage - your needs will always be met. And the two of you will discover a rare kind of joy in marriage that only a few ever find.

Therefore, I implore both of you to make your “marriage mission” about serving the another.

Richard, your marriage mission is to serve Taylor. Taylor, your marriage mission is to serve Richard.

In doing so, nearly every other aspect of your marriage will work itself out - conflict, mis-communication, different ideas about how to raise children, who does what household chore. If you consistently and faithfully seek to serve and want the best for the other, then these other issues become less of a life tidal wave and more like a light ripple.

Only the two of you know what serving the other really means.

Yet, from the first time we met, one thing clearly struck me about both of you: Both of you really like each other. You like being together. You enjoy sharing life together, and both of you really know one another well. You have traveled together and are exploring the world together. Your interests and strengths compliment each other.

I am continually impressed by how well both of you love one another! Your history and shared affections toward one another have built a lasting bond between the two of you that today becomes solidified in the Spirit.

I have learned that Richard adores Taylor above all others. And likewise, Taylor, your love and respect for Richard shines through every time you mention his name.

Taylor, you are a special young lady with a generous heart. Richard, you have a strong spirit.

Both of you have learned how to serve one another well for the adventure ahead of you, together. Keep after that vision, and let those kinds of experiences continue to shape your life together in Christ.

Always choose your spouse - always choose your spouse - ahead of yourself, no matter what person or thing, attempts to drive a wedge between the unity of your marriage.

This here [point to the two of them] is now priority one.

Bearing one another in love means remaining by one another through every argument, every illness, and every joy.

Hold onto those unique qualities that make up the foundation of your friendship, for God graciously formed those distinct qualities within you so that you may serve one another throughout the awesome adventure of your marriage.

I want to briefly highlight three key components in particular from the passage that I read just a few moments ago that make up a healthy marriage:

First is ‘hope.’ Our hope is rooted in the love of Jesus, which ushers us into a reality beyond ourselves.

One well known theologian once said, “We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.”

I think every married couple here would agree that finite disappointments, grudges, and conflicts can feel like an eternity in the moment. But in reality, they only last as long as you let them. You decide when conflicts and grudges end. Cherish the kind of hope that’s infinite, and let that become your perspective.

Another key component is ‘unity.’ Remain together no matter what the challenge.

During our time together, we talked quite a bit about challenges that both of you have overcome… together.

At the time, challenges in your marriage can seem daunting, tiring, and even threatening to your marriage and family.

But over time, those challenges can become the very bricks that build your foundation for a healthy, long-term marriage. See those bricks as opportunities for growth. As you lay them down, remember each brick and learn from its lesson.

Furthermore, remain united to your community - your family, friends, and your church. See these people gathered here. These are your people… who support you… care for you… and love you. Some of them have traveled long distances to be here with you. Hold onto them. Fight for them… in the same way that all of you [[[look at the witnesses]]] must fight for Richard and Taylor.

And finally… Forgive one another, just as in Christ, God has forgiven you. Forgiveness requires a full commit to humble servanthood, forsaking your desires for the benefit of the other. Forgiveness is the key that releases the other from whatever prison into which you want to lock them. Forgiveness is freedom, and freedom is joy!

Richard you are to forgive Taylor just as in Christ, God has forgiven you.

Taylor you are to forgive Richard just as in Christ, God has forgiven you.

Family and Friends, you are to forgive one another just as in Christ, God has forgiven each one of you.

Forgiveness is the fullest expression of humility. I hope both of you come to realize that as you offer forgiveness to the other, you not only set them free from carrying the rocks of grudges and hurt, but in so doing, you are setting yourself free to live into the very real and satisfying life that Jesus has promised to give you.

Taylor, submit to Richard, respect him and honor him in all that you do. Humbly serve him, cherish the source of your hope, maintain your bond of unity, and always forgive him when he falls short.

Richard, love Taylor and sacrifice for her in the same way that Christ sacrificed himself for the church. The full charge and responsibility of marriage goes to you, my friend. Feel it. Keep your marriage holy, set apart, and engaged on mission for the glory of Christ in the world!

Would you pray with me?

Exchanging of Vows:

We have now come to the moment when Richard and Taylor will exchange their vows to one another. Would you please face each other and join hands:

Richard, please repeat after me:

I, Richard,... take you Taylor,... to be my lawfully wedded wife,... to have and to hold... from this day forward,... for better or for worse,... for richer, for poorer,... in sickness and in health,... to love and to cherish,… from this day forward... until death do us part.

Taylor, please repeat after me:

I, Taylor,... take you Richard,... to be my lawfully wedded husband,... to have and to hold... from this day forward,... for better or for worse,... for richer, for poorer,... in sickness and in health,... to love and to cherish,… from this day forward... until death do us part.

Exchanging of Rings:

The wedding ring symbolizes both the unending love and commitment made to one another, as well as the unending love and commitment made by God to us.

Richard, please repeat after me: With this ring,... I pledge my life... and my love to you.

Taylor, please repeat after me: With this ring,... I pledge my life... and my love to you.

Unity Candle:

As their first act as a married couple, Richard and Taylor will express the unity of their love in the form of a unity candle.

This candle represents the independence of the McDonnough family, and the other represents the unity of the Lyden family. Together, these two families become one new family in Christ.

Prayer of Blessing

Please pray with me:

Heavenly Father, who created love and is defined by love, thank you for establishing marriage for the welfare and joy of humanity. You have said, "it is not good for man to be alone. I will make a helpmate for him." Now our joys are doubled since the happiness of one is now shared with another. Likewise, our burdens now have been halved since the troubles of one is now shared with another. Lord, bless Richard as he becomes Taylor’s husband. May his strength be Taylor’s protection; his character be her boast and pride. May Taylor find in Richard her haven and security so that her heart may continue to grow toward your grace and peace.

Lord, bless Taylor as she becomes Richard’s wife. May her tenderness be Richard’s honor; her love be his boast and pride. May Richard find in Taylor his respect and care so that his heart may continue to grow toward your grace and peace.

May you teach them humility and softness of heart and mind toward one another. Lord, unite their hands to serve you. As they seek your kingdom and righteousness, may all other things be added to them. May they come to know that perfection alone belongs to you. Give them wisdom to minimize each other’s weaknesses, boldness to praise each other’s strength, and clarity to see each other through your kind and patient eyes. May they never take one another for granted, but always experience that breathless wonder that exclaims, "out of all this world, you chose me." And Lord, when life is done and the sun is setting, may they be found as now, hand in hand, still thanking you for each other, until at last one shall lay the other into your arms. This we ask in the name of your son Jesus Christ, the great lover of our souls...

Ruth 1 Prayer

Richard and Taylor, I want to invite you to look at each other in the eyes, and repeat after me this prayer from the book of Ruth:

“Don’t ask me... to leave you and turn back. Wherever you go... I will go; wherever you live... I will live. Your people will be my people... and your God will be my God.” Ruth 1:16 NLT

Pronouncement:

Richard and Taylor, today before one another, your family, friends, community, and your Heavenly Father, you made a sacred covenant together, pledging and committing your lives to one another and committing your joint relationship to God. As your community, we have witnessed both of you exchange your solemn vows, give rings, and join hands.

By the privilege vested upon me by God, I now pronounce you, husband and wife.

Kiss :

Richard, you may know kiss your bride.

Benediction:

I would like to invite all of us to stand and join hands together as we pray a final ancient blessing over Richard and Taylor.

May the Lord bless you and keep you, Richard and Taylor.

May the Lord make His face shine upon you, And be gracious to you;

May the Lord lift up His countenance upon you, And give you peace.

Amen

Presentation:

Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present to you for the very first time,

Mr. and Mrs. McDonnough.