The Types of Love

I want to spend a few minutes with you this morning and talk about the various types of love that we find in the Bible and if you have been in the church long enough, chances are that you have heard of these different types of love. In the New Testament, we see our English word for love used by 3 different Greek words but for our purposes today, we’ll just look at the 3 that are more well known. These 3 Greek words, I guarantee you have heard at least one of them in your life. We have the word Eros, and this one we won’t focus too much time on but the word Eros is where we get the English word erotic from. This is the love that stresses physical and intimate attraction to someone. We know that this love is a gift from God and should be celebrated within the marriage of one man and one woman but we are warned about the capacity for sin that comes with Eros love. But let’s not focus on that, let’s turn to the other 2 Greek words. The second Greek word is Philia and this is where we get the name Philadelphia from which I’m sure you know means the City of Brotherly Love. Philia love is the love that means a close friendship, a brotherly love. When I think of this love, I think of Proverbs 18:24 “A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” This is a strong friendship and if you have been fortunate enough to have one or maybe a few very close friends, you know better than anyone what this verse means. To have this strong brotherly love means that you have made a deliberate choice to love this person. We see in the Bible and maybe in your own life that just because you are kin to someone, that doesn’t always mean that you are knit to that person. We see this in the life of Cain and Abel, Jacob and Esau, Joseph and his brothers, Absalom and his brothers. It’s unfortunate but it is true that brothers do not always love each other like they should but a close friend, loves where we see even family members fail. The greatest love that we see in the Bible is in the Greek word Agape. This is a sacrificial love, this is the highest and greatest of loves. This is the love that Christ the Son and God the Father have for us. I want us to look at a couple of verses in John 11. I’m sure you know what happens in this chapter, this is the raising of Lazarus from the dead. Let me read for you John 11:1-5

John 11:1–5 ESV

Now a certain man was ill, Lazarus of Bethany, the village of Mary and her sister Martha. It was Mary who anointed the Lord with ointment and wiped his feet with her hair, whose brother Lazarus was ill. So the sisters sent to him, saying, “Lord, he whom you love is ill.” But when Jesus heard it he said, “This illness does not lead to death. It is for the glory of God, so that the Son of God may be glorified through it.” Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus.

From here we know that Jesus makes his way to Bethany but he waits a few days and this is intentional. By the time He gets to Bethany, Lazarus has been dead for 4 days and after talking to Martha and May, He goes to the tomb. There’s a large number of people who were there that were comforting the sisters and likely mourning for Lazarus as well and they go to the tomb with Jesus. John 11:32-36

John 11:32–36 ESV

Now when Mary came to where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet, saying to him, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in his spirit and greatly troubled. And he said, “Where have you laid him?” They said to him, “Lord, come and see.” Jesus wept. So the Jews said, “See how he loved him!”

And we know what happens after this. Jesus calls Lazarus and Lazarus comes out of the grave, a living and breathing person. But I want us to look at the love in this chapter. Believe it or not, there are 2 loves in this chapter. We see the philia love and we see the agape love but here’s something that jumped out to me as I was studying this chapter: when people are talking to Jesus about His love for someone, they use the word philia. They used the love that emphasizes a brotherly love, a close compassion for someone and this word is used twice in what we read. First in verse 3 when the sisters tell Jesus that he whom Christ loves is sick. The other one is in verse 36 when the Jews see Christ weep and say, “See how He loved him!” But in verse 5, John uses the word Agape. “Now Jesus loved (agape) Martha and her sister and Lazarus.” Why is this so important? Because Martha, Mary, Lazarus, and the Jews had no idea just how great Christ’s love for them was. They couldn’t comprehend the vastness and the perfection of that love and John wants us to notice this. It’s as if John is saying, “Yes Jesus has a brotherly love for us but we miss the vastness of it. If all you focus on is the brotherly love, you miss the perfection, you miss the sacrifice.” Why did Jesus weep at the tomb when He knew what He was about to do? It’s because He’s perfect and His love for us is perfect. Jesus knew that to raise Lazarus up was to signify that the time had come for Him to lay His own life down. The Jews saw Christ’s love for Lazarus as He wept at the tomb but they didn’t comprehend the full extent of that love. The love that Christ had for Lazarus would carry Him to His own tomb. It would take Him to Calvary’s hill and it would nail Him to a cross. In Jesus Christ we see the love that stands closer than a brother and we see the perfect, sacrificial, untouchable agape love of a flawless and sinless Savior. Now we can look upon Christ on the cross and we can say, “See how He loved us! See how He loved me! See how He loved the Church!” It is this sacrificial love that we are to have for one another. When I have done weddings I often use Ephesians 5:22-25. Paul writes and I’ll close with this:

Ephesians 5:22–25 ESV

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,

When I’ve used these verses, I tell the husbands that they have the harder job in the marriage. In the 21st century, we tend to shy away from the word submit but it is an important word because it’s a Biblical word. Yet I still say husbands face the harder task. Why? Because as husbands we are to love our wives, as Christ loved the church. Sacrificially, perfectly, without limit, we are to give our very lives for our wives. Why? Because that is what Christ has done for us. What wife wouldn’t want a spouse like this? When love by the husband is done like that, submission will never be an issue. Whether you are married or not, let us all strive to love with this great sacrificial love that Christ has for us and let us remember that we love because He first loved us. Let’s pray together.