Eph 4_29

Title: The manner in which Christians speak

Text : Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. Eph. 4:29

Introduction:

PAUL has just been saying that when people become Christians, they must put off their old life as they would put off a coat for which they have no further use. Here, he speaks of the things which must be banished from the Christian life.

Sticks and stones????? WORD CAN TEAR DOWN OR BUILD UP

CPS: The Christian should lay aside useless Idle talk and instead speak useful words to help build up his brothers and sisters.

1st Point: For the Christian there is no room for corrupt communication.

Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth Eph. 4:29 (a)

(ESV, NASB, NIV) unwholesome word

There isn’t any room for the Christian (BECAUSE HE IS A NEW MAN) to speak corruptly to or about another because in Christ Jesus we are to be one with one another.

We have put off the old self.

We are to be united together in love for the purpose of bringing glory to God.

However, this happens often and is probably one of the easiest sins to fall into and one of the hardest to break.

It is often never confronted and is often used for building ourselves up by destroying another

Greek “Sapros” which means worthless or rotten

Paul is writing of any form of conversation that is frivolous or not having any serious purpose or value,

Sapros is used to indicate something filthy or rotten;

the term is used three times in Matthew for bad or rotten fruit (7:15–20; 12:33) or fish (13:48).

Many translate it “foul talk,” but the category is broader than dirty jokes. It does include that, but Paul has in mind primarily slander and backbiting, using our tongue to abuse and put down others.

Paul deals with obscene and vile language in 5:4 where he writes,

Neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting, which are not convenient: but rather giving of thanks.

We must understand that how we speak affects others and our relationship with others.

When we use worthless speech towards other they may feel worthless, especially those closest to us

Example: You constantly tell your child to use his Brain, before long he thinks he is stupid

You use words that are degrading to your spouse and soon they feel worthless.

We talk about a co-worker and the morale drops at work.

ETC……

All we accomplish by using corrupt speech is we tear people down, we cause pain and suffering, and we bring no Glory to God.

We must guard or speech!

Our tongue is such a small organ it averages nearly 4 inches in length and weighs less than 2.5 ounces

Yet it gives us more problems than any other organ in our body and is the hardest to control.

Something so small causes so much trouble.

Listen to what the half brother of Jesus says about the tongue;

7 For every kind of beasts, and of birds, and of serpents, and of things in the sea, is tamed, and hath been tamed of mankind:

8 But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. James 3:7-8

Illustration: So small yet untamable

DO you know what unwholesome words are?

Tongue disease!

Caused by a more serious issue, heart disease!

Jesus says, it is not what goes into you that defiles you but what comes out of you that defiles you

The tongue is used for swallowing, it aids in what enters into your body

But it also has a major function in enabling speech

Purity in speech is fought in the heart, because “out of abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.”

*** When you slander another, saying, Joe is an idiot, he is incompetent at his job

It shows you have a heart problem, you would rather speak evil than show grace to another person.

There are great consequences for the one spoke about.

There is a saying “A lie can be halfway around the world before the truth can put on its pants.”

We must abandon profitless speech, throw it off like an old worn out garment, burn it, burry it

It does no good, only harm!

It not only harms the person spoke about but it also harms the speaker!

We are called to be holy as God is holy, it displeases God and displeasing God does not lead to sanctification.

There are spiritual consequences for the one who speaks unwholesomely

It is impossible to be filled to the fullest of the spirit of God, when we defame our brothers and sisters we are not living in unity but are causing disunity.

And a spirit filled life can’t thrive in disunity.

We use unwholesome speech we break fellowship with God.

Application: How can we apply this.

First, we must understand that we will be held accountable for our Idle speech.

Matthew 12:36 But I tell you that every careless word that people speak, they shall give an accounting for it in the day of judgment.

We must recognize it for what it is….. Sin!

Such language is most unbecoming in a Christian. It must, therefore, be renounced and we must turn from it.

How do we turn from it?

We must think about what we are about to say at all times.

Ask ourselves, is this slander? Gossip? Degrading? Am I talking about someone behind their back?

What is the consequences to what I am about to say?

Is it truthful? Will it tear someone’s confidence? Demean a person’s character?

Is what I am about to say something that would bring glory to God and build His kingdom?

Is it righteous or unrighteous?

We must choose our words wisely, saying what we mean and meaning what we say.

*** I had a boss once who instructed me to write down what I wanted to say and proof read it before leaving him a voice message on our company’s voicemail…. It made me think hard about what I was about to say.

It would not hurt for us to pray about our use of worthless words and ask God to help us each day with putting this far behind us.

Finally, we must fill our brain and our mouth full of scripture!

How much time a day are we spending in the scriptures renewing our minds. If little then we will not be so keen as to foresee the use of rotten words.

But if we are spending much time daily in God’s words then we will know if what we are about to say is unacceptable to God.

Because our Heart will be in a place where we desire to do things pleasing to God.

Be found pleasing to God and may your words not be found rotten but Glorifying God.

Conversation with a view to timely instruction will help to build up a strong Christian character and stimulate growth in grace.

2nd Point: Your words should build others up

but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. Eph. 4:29 (b)

Paul tells us how not to speak in the 1st half of this Scripture

Now he tells us how to speak

Minister through your words

The Christian gives up profitless speech and substitutes it with constructive conversation.

NB) we have been saved for a purpose, to bring glory to God and to be vessels of mercy and grace.

The Christian’s speech should be:

Edifying.

Use only words that Edify,

The answer is for us to utter “what is helpful for building others up.”

Paul is using the same term (Greek Aikodome which means to build) as in 4:12, where the purpose of ministry is “that the body of Christ may be built up

the picture is that Christians should exercise all our gifts, including the gift of speech, for the good of the church and its people.

Illustration: We have a new worker on the mowing crew at school, we were cutting the grass on Holy Hill where there are 14 houses, it is a difficult task because you have to weed eat 80% of it. I figured this newer worker knew how to weed eat. Well, I had to go behind him and redo pretty much everything he did. Often I would be looking for him and find him at the truck messing with the head of the weed eater trying to restring it.

Well, I told one of the guys that I was aggravated at the new worker because I had to go behind him and I called him “sorry.” I used the exact type of speech Paul tells us not to use, what I should have done is thought about what was going on, take into account his age and went over to him and asked him if he had run a weed eater much. Then showed him how to run it and how to restring it. All while encouraging him and speaking a good word to him.

I later had to go to him and apologize for calling him “sorry” to one of the other workers

*** all too often we express our displeasure more than expressing Christian love to our fellow man.

this verse makes me think of parenting, we too easily put down our children rather than lifting them up. All too often we express our displeasure more than love.

Illustration: Tony is playing Baseball and I have noticed people here in Kentucky don’t take baseball quite as serious as we did in Alabama. I am the dad that is constantly coaching my boy from the stands and I’m the only one doing so. “Tony do this do that, sling that ball baby, make your knuckles drag the ground.” He is a great little ball player, the other day the coach moved him from third base to center field in the last inning, we were up 6 to 4 with two runners on base, two outs, and one of his friends drilled a ball to centerfield, Tony hawked it down, the ball went right into his glove then I saw his hand turn a little and the ball dropped out. His friend made it to second but drove in those two runners tying the game.

We ended up winning the game, but on the ride home, Tony said, “I didn’t do very good tonight did I?” I thought for a second then answered, “man you had a great game, you hit a double, tagged a runner out at third even though the ump missed the call…… and you almost caught the winning out.” He answered, “I did do pretty good tonight didn’t I.”

I could have harped on that missed catch but by giving him words of encouragement it built up his esteem and he was ready to play all over again.

Both in the family and in the church we need people who encourage and strengthen each other,

We are to use words that should result in, building up the hearers.

Not tearing them down

Appropriate.

It should be suitable to the occasion.

Some translations (NASB) read for the need of the moment.

Our words should address needs not create needs or obstacles

They should not be vague generalities, which would suit a thousand other cases equally well,

and probably equally ill:

our words should be as nails fastened in a sure place,

words suiting the present time and the present person, being “for the edifying of the occasion”

Ill. There is an old saying, “if you can’t say nothing nice, don’t say anything at all”

As Christians we are to go further and always be able to find appropriate words to say in any situations.

Gracious.

It should impart grace to the hearers.

Minister Greek word didomi, give or grant

Grace “Charis” (favor or gift) to those who hear.

Extends grace to all who hear (rabbit your intended audience may not be the only one listening)

Colossians 4:6: “Let your conversation always be full of grace, seasoned with salt.”

Our words should be seasoned to make them palatable

But more than that, your words are to be a gift to the hearer, not in an egotistical way but in an unmerited type of way.

Ill. Some say grace is the unmerited favor of God

A.W. Pink Sovereignty of God, Definition

Our words are not to be what the person deserves but showing love even when fronted with unloving situations

The Christian should be characterized by words which help others

As God has shown grace to us we are to show grace to others.

Grace not only in action but grace in words to!

Our speech should be so gracious that those who are not believers recognize there is something different about us and want to know what it is

Application: How do we insure our words are good for edifying and extending grace?

First, we must choose our words carefully thinking what is good and fitting for the occasion

One of the best ways is to be so saturated in the word of God that it flows through us,

Spending quality time in Bible study and meditating on the words will season your words

And make you sensitive to the Holy Spirit

We should prayerfully spend our days in communication so we can prayerfully communicate with others

When our minds are renewed and our heart is grounded in God’s word we will speak in a way that is edifying and extends grace to all who hear.

Conclusion

The goal of all of this is to “benefit those who listen”—literally, “to give grace to those who hear.” Gracious speech will always center on the well-being of those to whom or of whom we are speaking. This does not mean that we will never confront people, but only that when we do so it is to help them, not to hurt them, as in Hebrews 3:13: “admonish one another daily … so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.”

The problem with corrupt communication is not necessarily a justification issue but a sanctification issue.

The Christian throws off the old man and puts on the new man by faith and love and is constantly growing towards the conformity of Jesus.

And the one growing in conformity to Jesus will strive to bring about unity and strive to build others up

Christ has made us “the believer” a new person….. let the world see that person in all that we do….. and that includes our speech

Invitation: