A Serious Matter

Intro

Have you ever done something where you thought it was a good idea only to be confronted with the reality that you made a really stupid decision?

And I realize that by starting a marriage series off with that question might send mixed signals, but bare with me.

Seriously though, have you ever experienced what I am talking about? I have, on more than one occasion.

Play house illustration...

Katelyn wanted a play house and found one on sale. I didn’t think it needed to be tied down or secured.

Thought it would be secure enough. And it was, as long as I wasn’t going too fast. But as soon as the road got bumpy and the wind started beating against it I realized pretty quickly that I had mad a really stupid decision.

How did I realize it? As I watched it launch out of the back of my truck in my rear view mirror and crash onto the road.

Unfortunately that is how a lot of us approach marriage. We come to this place in our relationship where we believe we have found the person we want to spend the rest of our lives with and so we get married.

This is a good thing, this is the way God intended things to work. The problem is that we don’t consider the bumps in the road or the wind and storms our marriage will face when we say I do. We are in love and after all, love is all we really need right?

Tell that to that to the 44%-46% of people who’s marriages ended in divorce in 2022.

You see, there is no shortage of people tying the knot. But far less are taking the time to tighten the knot as time passes.

This morning marks the beginning of a marriage series titled “Tighten the Knot”.

Over time knots when exposed to the elements, wear and tear of their use, and constant strain they are under can come loose.

And like our marriages, if these knots aren’t inspected regularly and re-tightened over time they will eventually come loose, or worse, break completely.

So why spend time talking about this? Why marriage? Isn’t this topic best reserved for those in crisis, those who need counseling, or for private conversations between spouses?

Well, it is that kind of thinking that has gotten us to the place we are today with marriage. It is because we aren’t talking enough about its importance.

This morning I want to focus on the fact that marriage is a serious matter, and this is true for many reasons, but ultimately the most important reason is because God designed it and he designed it for a purpose.

Power in the Text

Genesis 2:18-24 NLT 18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” 19 So the Lord God formed from the ground all the wild animals and all the birds of the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would call them, and the man chose a name for each one. 20 He gave names to all the livestock, all the birds of the sky, and all the wild animals. But still there was no helper just right for him.

21 So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the Lord God took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the opening. 22 Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man.

23 “At last!” the man exclaimed. “This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken from ‘man.’ ”24 This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.

From the very beginning, God had marriage in mind. It was part of his creative order in paradise. God knew that it was in marriage that humans would thrive.

Keep in mind that sin hadn’t entered creation yet. In sinless perfection, humans were intended to be in marriage relationships for a couple of reasons.

To be a display of his love in his creation through the out-workings of a covenantal relationship.

To fulfill God’s will for reproduction and filling the earth with other humans.

To partner with each other as they stewarded over the earth.

To live out a spiritual purpose that goes beyond this life.

Now those are some lofty goals. When you go married did you consider all of that? Did you realize that you were entering into a relationship that would...

Be an earthly representation of an eternal God’s love for this creation

Serve an eternal purpose that went beyond this earthly life

No pressure right?

Big Idea/Why it Matters

Why would you consider those things?

We live in a culture that is slowly but surely moving away from the sacredness of marriage through the embrace of cohabitation while single, constant infidelity scandals among leaders, and the media’s portrayal of “quick and easy” divorces.

Marriage has become in the eyes of many, more of an outdate ritual than a heavenly mandate.

I have heard from many that I don’t need a piece of paper to prove I’m committed to my girlfriend or boyfriend.

That’s true if in your eyes marriage is nothing more than a piece of paper. Or if it is merely nothing more than a change in relationship status.

But marriage is so much more than that. Marriage is this amazing relationship reserved only for God’s crown of creation, humans.

Nothing else that God has created gets to experience what Biblical marriage is.

But just because something is valuable and meaningful doesn’t mean it is easy.

Biblically, those who are married or want to be married must remember it requires sacrifice and is a serious commitment.

When we make a commitment to something, it is a constant choice we make to be dedicated to that cause, whether we feel like it or not.

And there are times in marriage where you aren’t going to feel like it. But that is what make marriage so meaningful. It is that you choose the other person, even when they don’t deserve it.

The same way Jesus chose us when we certainly didn’t deserve it.

Remember, marriage serves a purpose that goes beyond our happiness or pleasure, not that those things don’t matter.

Ephesians 5:25-27 NLT 25 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her 26 to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. 27 He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault.

Paul calls for husbands to love their wives in a similar manner as Jesus has displayed his love for the church: “Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her 26 to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word.”

The outcome is that the church is clean and free from blemishes.

Our marriages are reflections of Christ’s love for his church. As a spouse, we should be dedicated to praying over each other with the Word of God, as well as holding each other accountable for our spiritual walks with the Lord.

Married couples are a team and are to be dedicated to making sure their spouse is ready for eternity.

Both parties get to dedicate themselves to the advancement of their spouse’s spiritual growth and maturity.

One thing we see from this passage is that marriage is not just for selfish gain. We all desire to feel loved. Romantic dates, being near our spouse, or any other form of intimacy is exciting and needed within marriage.

But marriage is also designed to be hard work, because our eternal lives are in view.

Application

You see, for a husband to love his wife is to actually partner with Jesus in such a way that one day when the two of them stand side by side, his wife will be presented along with the rest of the bride with her garment clean and spotless.

Remember Revelation 19? Here John is describing the wedding feast between Jesus and his bride, the Church.

Revelation 19:6-8 NLT 6 Then I heard again what sounded like the shout of a vast crowd or the roar of mighty ocean waves or the crash of loud thunder: “Praise the Lord! For the Lord our God, the Almighty, reigns. 7 Let us be glad and rejoice, and let us give honor to him.

For the time has come for the wedding feast of the Lamb, and his bride has prepared herself. 8 She has been given the finest of pure white linen to wear.” For the fine linen represents the good deeds (or righteous acts [NIV]) of God’s holy people.

Each of us is going to be given a garment. Is that corporate righteousness or is that individual righteousness? Friends, if it is individual righteousness, then we have a responsibility that is as serious as anything you have ever heard.

My responsibility to my wife is to make sure every single day that I do nothing that will contribute to her impurity in any way.

In a sense, I become a partner with God. I come alongside in my marriage and say, ‘I need to help you in the Word. I need to pray for you. I need to do whatever I do to keep you from being tarnished in any way whatsoever so that we can help each other keep our garments clean and one day we will stand side by side with Jesus as the whole church is presented to Himself spotless and blameless.

Have you thought of your marriage in that context before?

Maybe not. Maybe you feel like its too late for any of that. Maybe you feel like you want this kind of marriage but your spouse isn’t there yet?

When that playhouse flew out of my truck it smashed on the road hard into a lot of pieces. I had to pick them all up, strap them down and get it home.

Then began the hard work of trying to put this thing back together.

You know what. Some pieces couldn’t be fixed, so I had to replace them with different pieces. And you know what, it didn’t look exactly the same as it did when I bought it. But for years my kids played with it and benefited from it.

It not only survived, it was a blessing to my kids.

It is never too late to pick up the pieces and put it back together. It might take time. Some pieces may never look the way they did before they broke, but that doesn’t mean they can’t be replaced with new pieces.

That doesn’t mean that it can’t be stronger than it was before.

That doesn’t mean it can’t still serve its higher purpose.

Closing

Several years ago now Adidas used an ad campaign that was marked with #leaveyourmark. With it, they would show athletes of various sports putting in the hard work, training, giving it all they had so they could say they left it all on the field.

The idea was that they would have such a level of commitment to their sport that when they were done with it one day they would forever leave their mark on it.

Have you ever considered the mark you are leaving with your marriage?

When your kids are grown and have marriages and children of their own, will your marriage have left a mark for them?

When your family, friends, coworkers, and neighbors look at your marriage, will it have left a mark for them?

When young couples in your Church look to you and your spouse as elders and examples, will your marriage have left a mark for them?

Do you have this level of commitment to anything in your life? Do you think it is possible to show this kind of commitment to your marriage when it becomes exhausting, difficult, and even frustrating?

Are you willing to put in the hard work, dedication, and commitment to push through when you are tired?

Your spouse needs you more than either of you realize. Your marriage matters. And if you are willing to see it through the lens I have given you today you will find that putting in the effort will pay off in ways that echo in eternity.

Marriage is much more than the romantic feelings of love we share with someone else—although these feelings are important. However, our feelings for our significant other can change, due to the ups and downs of life; and so the thing that keeps us together is the choice to remain committed.

And it is when you make that choice, you will be able to do the other things we are going to address in this series.

Next week we are going to look another way in which we can tighten the knot in our marriages.