God's expectations

Introduction

Alright I want to do a little excersize where you repeat after me.

Love, Dating, Marriage, Sex, Sex, and lets say it one more time sex.

These are not bad words. These arent bad things. God created them, and what did God say after he finished creating everything. He said it was Good.

However these things just like everything else that God created are only good in the proper context and situation.

Dating

Can anyone tell me what passages of the Bible specifically talk about dating?

Heres something that you may be surprised to hear but the Bible doesnt actually talk about dating.

This is because in the Biblical culture people didnt date. They all had arranged marriages.

Now just because the Bible doesn’t specifically talk about dating, this doesnt mean that it does not give us guidance.

Now some of the things we will talk about will be mentioned in the context of marriage because thats what dating is. It is people trying to find their future spouse.

Respect

I think one of the big things that the Bible pushes is respect. respect for each other. In fact we spoke about it a little bit last week.

Romans 12:10 (NIV)

10 Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.

This doesnt just apply to a dating relationship. This applies to all relationships but especially in a dating relationship.

There are boundaries that you should not cross, and boundaries that you should not ask a boyfriend or girlfriend to cross.

but we dont just have to respect each other, we should also respect God.

2 Corinthians 6:14–15 (NIV)

Warning Against Idolatry

14 Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? 15 What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?

Here we are warned not to be yoked together with unbelievers. Does anyone know what a yoke is?

Its not an egg.

Its a tool used in farming.

Picture of yoke

So we should have respect for God to the point that if you are a believer in God you shouldnt date an unbeliever.

But you may be thinking I will win them to Jesus. also known as missionary dating.

illustration standing on chair pulling someone up.

As you could see its a lot easier to fall down than it is to pull someone along that doesnt want to come with you.

We cannot force someone to come to Christ, and if you do end up dating for a while and decide to get married something will have to change. Either your beliefs or theirs, and Ill tell you its most likely going to be yours.

So we see that we have to Respect both each other and God.

Gods expectations

Now there are a few other expectations that the Bible mentions on who and how we should date.

Genesis 2:24–25 (NIV)

24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.

25 Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.

Now this is only a couple of verses but there is so much to unpack here.

First lets go ahead and get the obvious and awkward part out of the way. When you are married, it is perfectly acceptable and expected to see each other naked. They had no shame.

God created us to be able to have a relationship with each other and created a wonderful thing called sex that when done appropriately in the proper context there is no shame.

So what is the proper context?

2 people

Genesis 2:24 tells us that that a man should be united with his wife. So we see and believe that marriage is between 2 people.

Now you may say but Todd there are many different examples of people having multiple wives in the Bible. Even King David had multiple wives.

Yes that is true, however when you read the stories of the multiple wives there is not a single one of those stories that ends well. Each one of those stories also involves wives that are not followers of God, and ended up pulling the believer farther away.

So yes it is the expectation that we have one husband or one wife. Not multiple.

1 Man 1 Woman

Next we see in this passage that the expectation was for a Man and a woman to be married together. That was the way that God has created us. The Hebrew text in Genesis 2 is very clear when it says Man becoming united with his wife.

Commitment

We also see that God requires us to be commited to our spouse.

Matthew 5:27–28 (NIV)

Adultery

27 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ 28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

This passage was part of the Sermon on the mount where Jesus took the law and completely flipped the whole thing upside down. This is where Jesus really called out the Pharisees showing them that they were just as guilty at breaking the law as everyone else.

This one is one that is becoming more and more difficult every year. When I was growing up I remember the first time our house got the internet, and there were no pictures. the closes thing to pictures was called clip art, and they use the phrase art very loosely.

When I was growing up if you wanted to see pictures of the opposite sex unclothed you had to go and purchase a magazine. Now the most famous magazine has stopped printing naked images of women, because its too easy to get peoples hands on, and it doesnt sell anymore.

Forgiveness

However I am not foolish enough to think that everyone in this room has gotten this perfectly right. Matter of fact I would probably guess that the majority of us in this room have messed this up in one way or another. Whether it was physically going farther than we should have with your boyfriend or girlfriend. Or it was staying up late looking at images of people.

God gives us hope

1 John 1:9 (NIV)

9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

So I want to leave you with this. It is possible even in todays age to get this right. To save yourself for your future spouse, but if you havent gotten it perfect. There is forgiveness, and God is faithful to not just forgive you but also purify you, and make you clean and whole again. All it takes is repenting from the sin and asking God for His forgiveness.