Different By Design

INTRODUCTION

We’re continuing to make our way through the book of Genesis, raising questions and giving answers to some of life’s most foundational questions.

This morning we’re in Genesis 2 and we’re getting to that point in the chapter “when a maaannnn loves a wooomannn....”

It’s interesting that we find ourselves approaching this text as we arrive at the Sunday before Valentines day.

Today we’ll focus on God’s creation of Eve and God’s design for human sexuality.

Next week we’ll focus on God’s creation of Marriage and God’s design for the family.

If there’s any area where there’s a “conflict” between the worldview of Scripture and the worldview of our culture - it’s in the area of human sexuality and marriage.

Our culture is reaping the fruit of abandoning God’s design for human sexuality and marriage and it’s only going to get messier and messier.

Opening Your Mind

This “conflict” in worldviews is going to make today’s message somewhat controversial; maybe even upsetting.

So before we begin know this: my only aim is to properly represent what I believe God’s Word teaches on this topic.

If you think I’ve misrepresented God’s Word then by all means share how and why you think that’s the case.

But, if your disagreement isn’t with what I’ve said but rather what God’s Word teaches then I’d encourage you to really examine the angst in your heart.

If there really is a God and he really has revealed himself through his Word, can we really expect that God to agree with us on EVERY topic? Of course not!

We must allow God to challenge our assumptions and provide an alternative perspective.

We appeal to this book on so many other topics because we find it’s contents true, good and beautiful. If we can take it as God’s truth on those matters then why not also on matters where we tend to disagree?

From General to Specific

Before we read our text let me try and situate our passage in it’s context.

We’ve been in Genesis 2 for the past two weeks now and it’s important to note that Genesis 2 isn’t a repeat of Genesis 1.

Some take these two chapters as two entirely different creation accounts. If you see Genesis 2 through that lens then you’ll find many contractions and incompatible statements.

Genesis 2 “fills out” what Genesis 1 left unspoken. It’s a complement and commentary on the six days of creation in Genesis 1.

The camera “zooms in” and focuses on one particular act in creation: the creation of Adam and Eve.

Genesis 1 presents God’s general purpose for mankind. Genesis 2 presents God’s specific design for how men and women partner together to bring it about.

Genesis 1 concludes with God looking at his creation and deeming it, “very good.” (Gen 1:31)

Yet our passage opens with words, “Then the LORD God said, ‘It is NOT GOOD that the man should be alone...” (Gen 2:18)

It’s as if our passage is telling “the rest of the story” of God’s creation of man on day six and how God took something that was incomplete and made it whole through his beautiful design.

Genesis 1 gives the general frame. Genesis 2 fills in the specific details. Forms and fullness.

I’d like us to examine two things out of this passage: (1) why did God make women? (2) Do the differences between men and women really matter?

Why Did God Create?

Let’s begin by examining God’s reasons for creating woman. That’s what our passage is mainly concerned with. Let’s pick it back up in verse 18.

Genesis 2:18–20 (ESV)

18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” 19 Now out of the ground the Lord God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. 20 The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him.

Genesis 2:20 ends where Genesis 2:18 begins: it is NOT GOOD that man is alone.

The simple answer for why God made a woman is because it wasn’t good for man to be alone.

Over and over again in creation we see God say “it was good.” It isn’t until this dynamic with Adam and the absence of a helpmate that God says, “this is NOT GOOD.”

So God finds a way to complete what was incomplete.

Completing Creation

None of this is to say that Adam was incomplete as a person.

Otherwise all single men would be “incomplete” as individual beings. Men do not need women or marriage to complete them.

However, even though Adam might’ve been complete as a person the creation itself was incomplete until God made the woman.

We’ve seen this before. First, God creates the form then he fills it: form to fullness, structure to significance.

Genesis 1:2 says the earth was without form and void… darkness was covering then earth.

So? Genesis 1:2 God said “Let there be light...”

In Genesis 2:5 there was “no bush…no rain…no man...”

So? Genesis 2:7 the “LORD God formed the man....”

Now in Genesis 2:18 it was “not good for the man to be alone...”

So? God says, “I will make a helper fit form him...”

That’s what’s going on here with Adam and the creation of Eve.

God’s Image & Our Need

This inherent need we have for "another” is central to God’s image in us.

Remember, in Genesis 1, God is not just a “me.” God is an “us.” God is fundamentally relational and therefore mankind has been made to be fundamentally relational.

It’s interesting that even though Adam had paradise (the greatest food, pleasure, beauty, etc) it still wasn’t enough to “be good.”

Adam needed something else, someone else. Someone like him.

It’s a reminder that God has made us FOR relationship. We were made for friendship and communion with other people.

You can have a great relationship with God,

consistent personal quiet time,

moral uprightness, and on and on.

But it won’t be enough to truly satisfy because God made you with an additional craving.

Central to our nature is a craving for relationship. Paradise isn’t really paradise without friends and community. In addition to a longing for God we long for “the other.”

Does this necessarily have to be with another person from the opposite sex to whom you’re married? I think not.

Jesus was single his entire life and he was the perfect representation of God’s image. However, he still connected relationally with other human beings.

So at the broadest level God made man both male and female because relational connection is core the image of God in man.

Fulfilling The Mandate

But God’s creation of Eve extends beyond that. It’s not just that creation is incomplete without woman.

God’s creation mandate is left unfulfilled without the creation of woman.

You can see this, in our text, as God parades all of the animals before Adam to name.

It’s interesting God chooses to do this. He could’ve just handed Adam a list of what he wanted but he didn’t. Why is that? It’s a reminder of something important.

God accomplishes his purpose in creation through MEANS.

And Adam is God’s means for naming all of the animals.

By naming the animals Adam is engaged in the cultural mandate of Genesis 1:28.

Genesis 1:28 (ESV)

28 have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”

But as Adam is naming all of these animals he probably begins to notice a theme. “One of these things is not like the other.”

Over Creation <— Procreation

Every animal has a complementary animal that is like them but different from them. Every other animals except ME.

Some have suggested Adam was supposed to pick from these animals. Like swiping left/right in a “hot or not” app. I think not.

More likely God is showing how everything in the animal kingdom comes in pairs with differentiation: the male and the female.

The Lion has the Lioness, leopard had a leopardess, the buck has the doe, the bull has the cow, the boar has the sal, the rooster has a hen, every part had a counterpart.

But for Adam that pairing was absent. And I’m sure Adam began to notice that as he kept naming each animal. And God says, this isn’t good.

Adam’s responsibility “over creation” required a helper who would procreate, recreate and cultivate creation alongside him.

How Did God Create?

The man was tasked with a responsibility that he could not fulfill in and of himself. He needed a “helper.” And that’s exactly what God does in Genesis 2:21-22

Genesis 2:21–23 (ESV)

21 So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. 22 And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. 23 Then the man said,

“This at last is bone of my bones

and flesh of my flesh;

she shall be called Woman,

because she was taken out of Man.”

These verses give us insight into HOW God created the woman. And they are packed full of information.

In addition, these verses explain how the differences between men and women are by God’s design, for his glory and our good.

A Gracious Gift

The first thing that stands out to me is that God’s creation of Eve is a beautiful display of God’s sovereign grace.

The creation of Eve is gift of God’s sovereign grace.

God literally takes care of everything and all Adam is required to do is take a nap.

God is the one who recognized Adam’s need.

God is the one who caused Adam to go to sleep.

God is the one who removed Adam’s rib and closed it back up.

God is the one who fashioned Eve as the perfect companion.

And God is the one who brings Eve to the man so he can receive her.

From beginning to end, at every stage, God’s creation of Eve is by His sovereign grace.

He didn’t have to create a woman and he certainly didn’t have to create a woman in the way that he gave Eve to Adam. But he did. A gracious, sovereign gift from God.

From His Rib

Not only is Eve’s creation a gift of God’s grace, she’s also from Adam’s side.

How is the woman made? She is taken from Adam’s rib.

The fact that Eve comes from Adam’s side is important.

As Adam sings, “She is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh.”

There’s an attraction and longing for Eve that is unique.

There’s a value that Eve can bring that nothing else in creation is able to do.

I love the Matthew Henry quote about this.

Matthew Henry - “Woman is not taken from man’s head to “topple him” nor from his feet to be “trampled upon” on by him. Rather she is taken from man’s side to be equal with him. Under his arm to be protected by him and from under his heart to be beloved by him.”

Not only is she taken from Adam’s side, she was also perfectly designed to become a “helper fit for him.”

A Helper - Ezer

This gracious gift from Adam’s side can also be seen in the repeated phrase leading up to verse 21-23.

Not once but twice we see the phrase “helper fit for him.” (Gen 2:18; 20) This is stated first in verse 18 then again in verse 20. What does it mean?

It’s the Hebrew Word “ezer.”

Remember, Moses is writing this book and the contemporary readers would’ve been those Israelites who had just been delivered from slavery to Pharoah in Egypt.

What would the word Ezer mean to that original audience?

We don’t have to guess because the Word is used several other places in Scripture.

One is Exodus 18 as Moses meets with his Father in Law Jethro. This passage mentions the names of Moses children and one of the kids names was “Eliezer (for Moses said) ‘The God of my father was my help, and delivered me from the sword of Pharoah.’” (Exo 18:4)

Or a little later on in the Psalms we see the word show up in reference to the LORD. Psalm 121:1-2 “I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? 2 My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth.” Psalm 46:1 “1 God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.”

This word helper is not a denigrating word or a belittling word. It’s quite the opposite. In fact, Moses in writing in a culture that denigrated and devalued women and so this word is actually forming quite a contrast.

By using this word Moses is reminding the men in the camp that their wife or mother or sister was specially designed by God to be a helper.

The woman was made to be a unique helper for man. She “strengthens” what is weak in man and “enables” him to accomplish what he could not on his own.

They are not a piece of property. They are not second class citizens. They - just like man - are made in the image of God possessing inherent dignity value and worth.

Fit For Him - Neged

The other important Hebrew Word is “Ne.ged” translated “fit for him.”

This is a pregnant term. It carries the idea of being opposite/counterpart but also the idea of being before or in the presence of.

So the woman stands “before” the man, eye to eye… equal and the same.

but she also stands “opposite” of the man... complementary and distinctive.

There’s an important equality and sameness between men and women but there are also important differences that function in complementary ways.

Eve is a divinely designed complement and counterpart to Adam; physically and in every other way. She is an important gift for him and a unique counterpart to him.

There is distinction - wife will help husband in ways he cannot help himself. But there’s also correspondence - wife will be like the man and of his same essence.

Summary

So God created woman to complete what was absent in creation. Adam had a mandate to fulfill but needed a helper to assist him.

Eve was a sovereign gift of God’s amazing grace. She enables Adam to accomplish that which he could not do on his own.

And she complements Adam in ways that no other creature in creation can do.

From this we see that

mankind was “built” for community. We were not meant to live in isolation.

men and women are “different” by God’s design. They are equal in dignity and worth but complementary in their roles and responsibilities.

Men And Women Are Different

If you’ve been paying attention to our culture you know it violently rejects this teaching from Genesis 2.

The idea that there’s an essential nature to maleness and femaleness is anathema in our culture. Much less the idea that there are inherent roles roles and responsibilities.

Even though it’s culturally unpopular these truths are absolutely clear in God’s Word. And it’s not just God’s word that makes these differences clear.

If you just take an honest look around you of how men and women actually work and function in this world - you see they’re different. You don’t have to take it “by faith.”

Whether you look at the evidence in God’s Word or God’s world, there are obvious differences between men and women:

Our BODIES are different.

I don’t want to get too crass but there are physical anatomical differences.

Our DNA is different,

down to the very core of our chromosomes. (XX female, XY male).

I read one paper that said there are 6,500 genetic differences between males and females.

Our BLOOD is different.

Men have more red blood cells than women and women have more water in their blood than men.

In the short term a man needs less sleep than a woman and can exercise longer than an average woman.

But in the longer term the average woman lives 3-4 years longer than the average man. They are different by design.

Our BRAINS are different.

Men’s brains are bigger. But don’t let that go to your head, men, because women have more “grey matter” where is where the “thinking” actually happens.

The brain of a man is wired front to back, vertical. The brain of a woman is wired more side to side.

Men are vertical and compartmentalized. Women are horizontal and integrative.

This is why women are better at juggling many things in their brain at once whereas most men are single minded and compartmentalized.

Women are better at learning languages because of how their brains are wired. Men have a better long-term memory because of how they’re are wired.

Men are generally more oriented towards tasks where as women are generally more oriented towards people.

You’ve heard it said men are from mars and women are from Venus? That’s not true. They’re both from earth. But we are DESIGNED to be DIFFERENT.

Those differences are a GOOD THING. They are by God’s DESIGN. And they should be embraced and celebrated not minimized or ignored.

Culture’s Reaction

Tragically, our culture is attempting to do just that. Our culture has taken God’s design and turned it upside down and inside out.

That took what God gave as a gift and treated it like a curse.

This didn’t happen overnight. There were many movements and ideologies that helped pave the way.

Feminism & Scripture

When it comes to women, in particular, you have the first, second and third waves of feminism. Each wave had their own talking points and grievances.

Not everything born out of the feminist movement was bad. The fact that women weren’t allowed to vote or to participate in the culture making factories of our society was terrible.

As we’ve just seen from Scripture, women are different from men and therefore have a UNIQUE and IMPORTANT perspective that must be heard and allowed to influence how we operate as a nation.

And this is true not just in marriage but in society at large. When the voice of a woman becomes effectively silenced in a culture or in a home you are setting yourself up for failure.

Vis versa if the voice of a man is completely silenced from culture, you’ll have a similar undoing. Men and women need each other because we were divinely designed to complement one another as uniquely designed counterparts.

But that insight is not unique to feminism. The Bible would’ve made the same critique and offered even better solutions.

Modern day feminism - and the critical theory that undergirds it - is a blatant and destructive attack on God’s design for human sexuality.

It’s a foolish attempt to separate women from their bodies: to sever biological sex from gender.

It’s ignoring and denigrating our divinely designed differences to the detriment of our culture and the destruction of the next generation.

The Church’s Compromise

To make matters worse, this destructive ideology isn’t just making inroads in our culture. It’s also making inroads into Christ’s body, the Church.

The worldview of the culture has been imbibed by many Christians. Even in the Church there is compromise on what God’s Word plainly says.

Evangelicals - who are supposed to be the ones who believe the Bible and practice what it says - are compromising on truths that’ve been historically unquestioned until the rise of modern feminism.

That’s not to say we should believe something just because of tradition but it is a red flag when something traditionally held all of a sudden changes. We need to examine whether the change is due to cultural compromise or biblical conviction.

In this debate about gender roles in the home and the church there are two basic camps: the complementarian camp and the egalitarian camp.

Broadview is a Southern Baptist Church which means we automatically fall in the complementarian side of the debate.

To help you understand the differences I want to read a section of our theological statement as it relates to this discussion.

BFM2K: “The husband and wife are of equal worth before God, since both are created in God’s image. The marriage relationship models the way God relates to His people. A husband is to love his wife as Christ loved the church. He has the God-given responsibility to provide for, to protect, and to lead his family. A wife is to submit herself graciously to the servant leadership of her husband even as the church willingly submits to the headship of Christ. She, being in the image of God as is her husband and thus equal to him, has the God-given responsibility to respect her husband and to serve as his helper in managing the household and nurturing the next generation.”

You can probably see language from our passage in Genesis in this doctrinal statement.

On the complementarian side there is a clear affirmation of men and women’s equality when it comes to dignity, worthy and being made in God’s image.

But there’s also a clear affirmation of our differences in responsibilities and roles. These differences are biblically prescribed and practically helpful for building up the church and the home.

The egalitarian view also affirms that men and women are equal in dignity value and worth but does NOT AFFIRM that men and women have complementary roles.

In their view, the gender roles in Scripture are descriptive and not prescriptive. God’s ideal is that men and women are completely interchangeable as to their roles and responsibilities.

Male Headship

We don’t have nearly enough time to dive into this debate but I wanted to at least expose you to it.

In my mind, the egalitarian view compromises a high view of Scripture because it ends up making certain passages say the OPPOSITE of what they seem to say at face value.

At the very center of this debate is what the Bible means by the term “headship.” The word comes from Ephesians 5 but it’s basically the idea that

In the partnership of two spiritually equal human beings, man and woman, the man bears the primary responsibility to lead the partnership in a God-glorifying direction. - Ray Ortlund Jr.

I don’t think you have to look far in Genesis 1-3 to see this concept of Male headship play out.

Established in Creation

Male headship is clearly established in creation from the very outset in Genesis 1-2.

In our very passage Eve is created to be a “helper” for Adam. That implies a type of male headship.

Adam is made before Eve is created. (He receives the cultural mandate and the moral boundaries of God’s expectations in Eden.)

Paul appeals to this in 1 Tim 2:11-13 to ground his teaching on male headship in the church.

Eve was formed FROM Adam, not Adam FROM Eve.

Paul also appeals to this in 1 Cor 11:8-9 to ground his teaching on male headship. It all stems from Genesis 1-3.

Men and women are created equal but given different roles and responsibilities.

Adam and Eve were to partners in the cultural mandate but that does not erase their unique strengths to naturally gravitate towards one side or the other.

Corrupted By The Fall

What was established in creation, however, got corrupted by the Fall.

You also see this in the curse in Genesis 3. The consequences of sin negatively affect the primary domains of the man and the woman.

For the woman there is pain in childbearing and a conflict of wills between the woman and her husband. Her desire will be contrary to her husband and he will rule (dominate) over her.

Genesis 3:16 (ESV)

16 To the woman he said,

“I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing;

in pain you shall bring forth children.

Your desire shall be contrary to your husband,

but he shall rule over you.”

For the man, the ground that he was suppose to cultivate will now be cursed instead. Gen 3:17-18

Genesis 3:17–18 (ESV)

17 And to Adam he said,

“Because you have listened to the voice of your wife

and have eaten of the tree

of which I commanded you,

‘You shall not eat of it,’

cursed is the ground because of you;

in pain you shall eat of it all the days of your life;

18 thorns and thistles it shall bring forth for you;

and you shall eat the plants of the field.

Only through sweat, and thorns and thistles will he be able to fulfill his responsibilities to the home.

Not only that, instead of cultivating the earth he gets buried six feet under because of the consequence of sin. Gen 3:19

Genesis 3:19 (ESV)

19 By the sweat of your face

you shall eat bread,

till you return to the ground,

for out of it you were taken;

for you are dust,

and to dust you shall return.”

The primary domain of the man is affected and the primary domain of the woman is affected.

Now I’m not saying that’s their ONLY domain!

I’m not saying that women shouldn’t work outside the home or that men can’t stay home and help take care of their children.

I’m just pointing out that God has made our primary orientation towards particular roles and responsibilities.

Not only that - Satan’s attack on our lives will be to supplant and undermine God’s unique design for human sexuality.

We see it in culture, we see it in the church, and you can probably see it even in your own life.

Conclusion

So male headship was established in creation and corrupted by the Fall. But the curse of sin doesn’t violate God’s original design.

And just as we’ve seen with the Sabbath in vv 1-3 and Paradise in vv 4-17 so also do we see God’s complementary design for the sexes restored in Christ.

What sin ruins Christ restores! Our sins they are many but God’s mercy is MORE.

In Christ we can see men once again love and lead their homes in a way that glorifies God and empowers their spouse.

And we can see women once again empowered to cultivate their families and become a helper fit for their husbands so that God’s mission advances in their home and their church.

Women - embrace your design and be thoughtful in how you structure your life around it.

Treasure femininity as a gift. Embrace the differences and structure around it. Don’t just know your role but LOVE them and celebrate them.

Men - celebrate God’s design and help cultivate you’re wife’s unique design in the context of marriage