How to Grieve Part 1

How to Grieve Part 1

Judgment

Lamentations 1:1-22

Intro

Lamentations, at first glance, can be a depressing book! It’s five poems, each one is a chapter in this little book, and it’s essentially the Jewish nation crying out in grief.

Americans are strange when it comes to grieving; it’s not an area where we are very healthy. We tend to respect those who can “keep it together.” If someone has a family member or close friend pass away, and they still seem to be at work and in life without breaking down, we say things like, “wow, they’re handling it really well.” It’s almost like, as a culture, we praise people for burying their pain and ignoring their grief. We’re uncomfortable with it; we don’t know what to say when someone is grieving or suffering.

Story 1

I stumbled across a short video recently of the Hewa tribe in Papua New Guinea mourning the death of the oldest man in their village.

It was just a few seconds of a much longer time of wailing. It reminds me of stories in the Bible were people grieved. For example, if you remember Lazarus’ death in John 11, there was a crowd of people wailing at the home for days after his death. If someone died in your family, not only would you and your family and friends rip your clothes and be loudly crying for days, you would also hire professional wailers.

I do not mean whale hunters. These were people whose job it was to be present and wail loudly. Could you imagine doing that? Having your home full of people you hired to cry loudly for days? It’s something completely foreign from our culture. And yet, professional mental health types would say that it’s a lot healthier than our American tendency to hide the pain, to bury it. Sooner or later that pain will resurface; it affects us far more than we realize. Lamentations teaches us how to grieve in a healthy way, a way that brings healing.

Lamentations is a glimpse of the Jewish peoples’ grieving a death, the death of their nation. The title of the book in Hebrew is “‘eka.”

Application 1

‘Eka literally means “how,” a distressed filled crying out. It’s not a “how do I complete this math problem;” it’s a cry for answers. As in, “How could this be happening?” or “How is this God’s will?” Translators took this title of ‘eka, “how,” and named the book Lamentations, because it captured the tone of the book. It is a collection of laments.

Written after the destruction of Jerusalem in 586 BC.

Their nation was conquered by King Nebuchadnezzar, the ruler of Babylon. You may remember him from the story of Daniel 1 and the story of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego in the fiery furnace. When Nebuchadnezzar conquered the Jews, he devastated their nation. He tore down their walls, left the city in rubble, and destroyed the temple. On top of that, he took the best and brightest of their young people back to Babylon to serve him.

Written and/or collected by Jeremiah

Jeremiah was a prophet during this time; he had been warning the Jews for 40 years to change their ways, or God would judge them and allow them to be conquered, but they ignored him. Scholars believe that Jeremiah either wrote all five laments, or he wrote some and collected others.

Read out loud every year on the anniversary of the destruction in the synagogue

Each year, on the anniversary of the destruction of the temple, the Jewish people would gather and recite the book of Lamentations together. They would grieve together the death of their independence, the death of their temple, the death of their favor with God. This poetry, Lamentations, has three major themes that we are going to explore, examining one per week.

Lamentations Themes: Judgement, Compassion, Sovereignty

Lamentations is unflinching in how it addresses the judgment of God. It does not have a happy ending with their being free again; this book finishes with the people still grieving, still suffering, still conquered. At the same time, there is a theme of compassion; God has judged them, but He loves them and is suffering with them. Finally, there is a theme of sovereignty; the Jewish people are not in control, Nebuchadnezzar is not in control, ultimately, God is the one who is in absolute control.

Scripture

Today, we are going to read through chapter one of Lamentations, looking at the theme of judgement.

Lamentations 1:1 (NLT)

Jerusalem, once so full of people, is now deserted. She who was once great among the nations now sits alone like a widow. Once the queen of all the earth, she is now a slave.

Female language = family connection

There’s something important going on with the feminine language and pronouns being used here that we might miss, but it is the first of three important things we can learn from this passage. This is poetry written 2,600 years ago in another language and culture. It’s important to remember that, because that can impact what is being communicated.

Story 2

Story of not fitting in to minnesota culture

Application 2

These feminine pronouns would have been understood by the Jewish people 2,600 years ago as communicating a deeper relational connection, a family connection. As a people, they were identifying themselves as the family of God, a family who had failed their Father. So, in verse two, where it says, “she sobs,” it’s speaking of the people, the nation as a whole.

Lamentations 1:2-5 (NLT)

She sobs through the night; tears stream down her cheeks. Among all her lovers, there is no one left to comfort her. All her friends have betrayed her and become her enemies. Judah has been led away into captivity, oppressed with cruel slavery. She lives among foreign nations and has no place of rest. Her enemies have chased her down, and she has nowhere to turn. The roads to Jerusalem are in mourning, for crowds no longer come to celebrate the festivals. The city gates are silent, her priests groan, her young women are crying—how bitter is her fate! Her oppressors have become her masters, and her enemies prosper, for the Lord has punished Jerusalem for her many sins. Her children have been captured and taken away to distant lands.

Daniel, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego were four of the many that were stolen from their families by Nebuchadnezzar.

Lamentations 1:6-8 (NLT)

All the majesty of beautiful Jerusalem has been stripped away. Her princes are like starving deer searching for pasture. They are too weak to run from the pursuing enemy. In the midst of her sadness and wandering, Jerusalem remembers her ancient splendor. But now she has fallen to her enemy, and there is no one to help her. Her enemy struck her down and laughed as she fell. Jerusalem has sinned greatly, so she has been tossed away like a filthy rag. All who once honored her now despise her, for they have seen her stripped naked and humiliated. All she can do is groan and hide her face.

They knew they had sinned; they know this judgement was deserved.

Did Babylon literally strip them all naked? No, it’s poetry. They’re using word pictures to communicate that they are experiencing the worst humiliation that can be imagined.

Lamentations 1:9-12a (NLT)

She defiled herself with immorality and gave no thought to her future. Now she lies in the gutter with no one to lift her out. “Lord, see my misery,” she cries. “The enemy has triumphed.” The enemy has plundered her completely, taking every precious thing she owns. She has seen foreigners violate her sacred Temple, the place the Lord had forbidden them to enter. Her people groan as they search for bread. They have sold their treasures for food to stay alive. “O Lord, look,” she mourns, “and see how I am despised. 12 “Does it mean nothing to you, all you who pass by? Look around and see if there is any suffering like mine…

Remember that one of the three major themes is God’s judgement? Notice how it says…

Lamentations 1:12b-22 (NLT)

…which the Lord brought on me when he erupted in fierce anger. “He has sent fire from heaven that burns in my bones. He has placed a trap in my path and turned me back. He has left me devastated, racked with sickness all day long. “He wove my sins into ropes to hitch me to a yoke of captivity. The Lord sapped my strength and turned me over to my enemies; I am helpless in their hands. “The Lord has treated my mighty men with contempt. At his command a great army has come to crush my young warriors. The Lord has trampled his beloved city like grapes are trampled in a winepress. “For all these things I weep; tears flow down my cheeks. No one is here to comfort me; any who might encourage me are far away. My children have no future, for the enemy has conquered us.” Jerusalem reaches out for help, but no one comforts her. Regarding his people Israel, the Lord has said, “Let their neighbors be their enemies! Let them be thrown away like a filthy rag!” “The Lord is right,” Jerusalem says, “for I rebelled against him. Listen, people everywhere; look upon my anguish and despair, for my sons and daughters have been taken captive to distant lands. “I begged my allies for help, but they betrayed me. My priests and leaders starved to death in the city, even as they searched for food to save their lives. “Lord, see my anguish! My heart is broken and my soul despairs, for I have rebelled against you. In the streets the sword kills, and at home there is only death. “Others heard my groans, but no one turned to comfort me. When my enemies heard about my troubles, they were happy to see what you had done. Oh, bring the day you promised, when they will suffer as I have suffered. “Look at all their evil deeds, Lord. Punish them, as you have punished me for all my sins. My groans are many, and I am sick at heart.”

There is such a sadness to this poem; it’s tragic, and it’s the first of five such poems. They would recite this poetry annually to both grieve and remember what they did to bring themselves to this place, to grieve their loss. The second big take away is;

Lament fall from grace and loss of status

They were lamenting their fall from grace, their loss of status as a blessed people, as a nation. They were overwhelmed with misery of what they had become. So often, when people are hurting, suffering, grieving, they lash out or blame those who brought about the misery. The natural inclination would be to blame the Babylonians, yet throughout this poem, they acknowledged that it was their own sin that brought them to this point. Even in their grief, they acknowledged their part.

Which brings us to the third and final take away we find in this poem:

They bring the lament and anguish to God

They recognize that God is the one that has brought this judgment, but even so, they turn to God and bring their lament and anguish to Him. They know that as their Father, God feels their pain with them. He is their source of comfort.

I imagine each of you could tell the same story: at some point when you were younger, you were in trouble with your parents, or maybe you were at the doctor’s office, and your parents held you in place to get a shot. Yet, where do young children turn to for support, for a hug, and for encouragement? The same parent who gave the punishment or who held them while they got a shot. Because deep down, we know that when we suffer, even when we bring it on ourselves, our family, our parents, our loved ones suffer with us. They feel the pain of us feeling pain.

There is a powerful comfort in knowing we are not suffering alone, that God hurts when we hurt. He knows our pain, and when we suffer, when we grieve, He grieves as well.

J. Andrew Dearman, a commentator on Lamentations wrote…

“God judges His people through their sin and suffering, and they offer their pain to the Lord.”

The Jewish people were suffering because of God’s judgment, yet in the midst of that, they found their comfort in God. It’s a powerful lesson on grief for us today. We have a family connection with God. It is healthy and good to grieve loss, whatever it is, and to bring our pain to God, to feel the support of grieving with Him instead of alone.

Conclusion

Discussion Questions:

There is a theme of judgment in Lamentations. What stands out to you in the verses above as you read them? What do you learn about God?

What are ways that you grieve? Do you have places and people you feel safe to express your sadness and pain to? If so, who are they?

What would it be like to grieve so publicly, like we read in the Bible?

How does the knowledge that God hurts with us when we suffer impact you? Is it better to grieve alone or with someone? Why or why not?

Pray