How to Grieve Part 2

We are in week two of a three-week series on the book of Lamentations. It’s a collection of five poems strategically chosen and put together during a time of terrible grieving and sorrow for the Jewish people. At first glance, it can seem like it’s just a collection of depressing poetry, but it serves an incredibly important purpose.

Application 1

Lamentations teaches us how to grieve

Lamentations teaches us how to grieve. Our culture tends to keep things bottled inside; we praise people who “keep it together.” But part of what we talked about last week is how unhealthy that is. Grief that is pushed down will eventually erupt. The far better course is to take the time to fully go through and process that grief. Lamentations is a book that models healthy grief for us; it gives us tools for being sad in a way that sees our becoming stronger. All of us are going to have difficult times, if we haven’t already, so these poems from 2,600 years ago are incredibly valuable to us today.

Lamentations Themes: God’s Judgment, God’s Compassion, God’s Sovereignty

There are three major themes throughout Lamentations; the first one is God’s judgment, which we looked at last week. We spoke of how God’s judgment came in the form of the Babylonians’ conquering and destroying their nation, the temple, and stealing their young people. They were devastated, but at the same time, they recognized their sin brought that judgment, and that God was sharing in their sorrow with them.

The third theme is God’s sovereignty, which is a big word for “God is in control of everything.” We’ll be looking at that next week.

The second theme, is God’s compassion. Lamentations is not a book with a happy ending. It begins and ends with them in sorrow. Yet, throughout the book, there is this thread of compassion from God.

Chapters 1, 2, 4, and 5, are each 22 verses long. Chapter 3, where we’re going to be today, is 66 verses long, but don’t worry! We’re not going over each one! Like last week, it’s a poem that has 22 stanzas, each three verses long.

Because Lamentations is so strategically spaced out, the middle of chapter three is the middle of the book, and in those middle verses is a bold declaration of hope in God. In other words, the book is structured to have this building sense of intensity: how much they have lost, how devastating it is, how much destruction they have experienced, that builds up to this vivid picture of God still in the middle of all they are experiencing. Then the grief works its way back down to the end of chapter five.

Scripture

Let’s look at a few highlights from Lamentations 3:

Lamentations 3:1-9 (NLT)

I am the one who has seen the afflictions that come from the rod of the Lord’s anger. He has led me into darkness, shutting out all light. He has turned his hand against me again and again, all day long. He has made my skin and flesh grow old. He has broken my bones. He has besieged and surrounded me with anguish and distress. He has buried me in a dark place, like those long dead. He has walled me in, and I cannot escape. He has bound me in heavy chains. And though I cry and shout, he has shut out my prayers. 9He has blocked my way with a high stone wall; he has made my road crooked.

Application 2

First person language = the people

It’s incredibly dark language, isn’t it? How depressed, how hurt, how broken is someone that this is the poetry they create? What I want us to notice, though, is a shift in language with this chapter. It’s changed to first-person: “I am the one,” “I cannot escape,” “I cry and shout.” But the ancient Hebrews would not have read this as an individualistic poem. Because of the tenses, or the modifiers, used in the ancient Hebrew, it was clear to them that it was first-person language referring to the people, to them as a nation. In other words, it’s as though it is saying, “I, the Israelite people, cannot escape.”

Gives those suffering a voice

This first person language, through this poetry, gave those who were suffering a voice. As they would recite this together, building in intensity, shifting to a first person voice, they would as a nation be united in their distress and suffering. And through that unity, they found hope. The tone shifts in 3:21.

Lamentations 3:21 (NLT)

Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this:

This word “hope” is an exciting one; it literally means “waiting with expectancy.”

Hope = waiting with expectancy

This isn’t the kind of hope you have when you buy a box of cereal, and it says you have a chance at winning an Xbox One. You hope when you open it that you’ve won, but you know the odds are incredibly low that you will. This Hebrew word that’s translated “hope” here, though, is a different kind of hope. It’s a hope that knows it’s going to be delivered on. Let’s read on.

Lamentations 3:22-25 (NLT)

The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning. I say to myself, “The Lord is my inheritance; therefore, I will hope in him!” The Lord is good to those who depend on him, to those who search for him.

Rahum, compassion = parental concern

In verse 22, that word “mercies” is a Hebrew word, “rahum,” which could also be translated “compassion.” This word is a word that communicates parental concern. In other words, like a parent would never stop being concerned for their child, God is perfect in His love and will never stop caring for them.

Hesed, love = kindness & loyalty

In verse 22, when it says, “The faithful love of the Lord never ends,” that word “love” carries a lot of meaning. The way we toss around the word “love” is confusing.

Story 2

For example, I met my wife in 2016. I liked her immediately; however, it took her awhile to see God’s will for her life and return my affections. I love Rachel.

Taco Bell recently came out with a Double Beefy Chalupa. It’s incredible. I love it. Do you see the problem? We have the same word for two very different types of love!

Application 3

The ancient Jews had several different words that all get translated “love,” including words that communicated brotherly love, erotic love, God’s love, and so on.

This love in verse 22 comes from the Hebrew word, “hesed.” It is a love saturated with kindness and loyalty. This is a big deal. This poetry is all about their suffering, and the word they chose to express God’s love for them is one that communicates a deeply loyal love. As much as they have lost, they do not doubt God’s loyalty to them.

Lamentations 3:31-33 (NLT)

For no one is abandoned by the Lord forever. Though he brings grief, he also shows compassion because of the greatness of his unfailing love. For he does not enjoy hurting people or causing them sorrow.

The writer isn’t promising everything is going to be perfect, but this poetry is driving home the point that God does have compassion for us, that we can still have hope in Him even when we are hurting.

Story 3

Story of God using my struggle

I was distraught. What would I do? I had lost everything! I kept wondering where I would go, what would happen next. I felt close to this one teacher, so I went to him and vented all my fears and concerns. His response? “What beauty can you find in the ashes?” I was so confused. Had he even been listening? He shared this verse with me;

Supporting Scripture

Isaiah 61:3 (NLT)

To all who mourn in Israel, he will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair.

At first, I was annoyed; how could he just quote verses at me when I was in the middle of a crisis? But that line, “beauty for ashes,” kept ringing in my head. I started thinking about it and realized, as horrible as it was, it could have been far, far worse. My family was safe. That’s beautiful. The stuff could be replaced, and in the weeks to come, I saw Christians rally around us in incredible ways. For the first time I began to realize that it is possible to feel hope, to feel God’s love, even in a time of suffering.

James 1:2-4 (NLT)

Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.

James was writing to people that were being tortured, who were suffering incredibly because following Jesus was against the law. Horrible things were happening to them, and his words were to challenge them to think of it as an opportunity to grow closer to God! He told them they would be better because of what was happening!

This brings us back to Lamentations. What lessons can we learn? I think there are five we can take away from today.

Conclusion

When we suffer … We can expect God, God is like a parent, God is kind, God is loyal, We can grow

We learn from Lamentations that part of grieving is remembering these things and taking encouragement from them:

We can expect God. Remember the word “hope,” that it carried an idea of expectant confidence.

God is like a parent. He isn’t some stranger disinterested in our pain; God is like a parent, one who cares deeply when His children hurt. He has empathy for us, a deep sense of caring.

God is kind. We may not always feel He is kind when we are in pain, but that aspect of His being gives us hope for the future.

God is loyal. When I am in the middle of suffering, this is the one that gives me hope. As miserable as I may be, as alone as I may feel, God has a never-ending loyalty to me… and to you, as well.

We can grow. Even in Lamentations, this book that does not conclude with a happy ending, we see the people growing together as they supported each other and approached God together.

Before we close in prayer, let’s take some time to discuss Lamentations together with some questions.

Discussion Questions:

Our world is full of broken examples: imperfect parents, friends and leaders who are not loyal, etc. Are you able to have confidence in God to do what so many others fail at? Why or why not?

Have you had a time of suffering you where you were able to find “beauty in the ashes?” If you’re comfortable, please share about it in your group.