Growing in Christ - Growth requires love.

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Big Idea:

Growing in Christ requires love.

Intro:

Hey Church Online - thanks for joining us.
If you know me, you’ve likely come to expect sports references during my sermons - whether you like them or not. I apologize. It’s just how I process life… especially if it’s Fall or Winter and I’m coaching either football or basketball.
But if there was any day you showed up to church expecting a football reference, it’d be today - Super Bowl Sunday! And you’d be right! Later on today, two NFL teams will play for the title of Super Bowl Champions - for a chance to say, “We are the best football team in the world.”
Football teams can be known for a lot of things. And many people have predictions about who will win today based on some of those things. For example...
The Philadelphia Eagles have...
Jalen Hurts as a quarterback. A rising star who is an extremely difficult player to stop, especially considering the weapons (other offensive players) he has surrounding him.
The Eagles also have a very good defense.
And that’s all I’m gonna say about the Eagles, because as a Giants fan, it hurts my soul saying anything positive about them...
The other team playing is the Kansas City Chiefs...
I actually like the Chiefs! For many years, I’ve considered them my AFC team.
They too have an amazing quarterback - Patrick Mahomes. However, unlike the Eagles, the Chiefs lost a lot of weapons this year. Nevertheless, here they are again, back in the Super Bowl, which makes some people think Mahomes might just be the best QB in the league right now, because he did it without the offensive weapons...
Kansas City also has the experience. They have been here before, especially their coach, Andy Reid. Therefore, a lot of people like the Chiefs chances to win.
And we could go on discussing many more things that could help a team win the Super Bowl… only one thing truly matters today. The team who scores the most points wins!
And this connects to what we’re going to talk about today. Last week, Pastor Jon kicked off Phase 1 of our year-long (4-phase) vision, “Moving on up.” With Phase 1 being “Growing in Christ.” And I’d like to talk about THE MOST IMPORTANT THING...
Just as having the most points is the most important thing in the Super Bowl…
When it comes to growing in Christ… the most important thing is LOVE.
Scripture backs this up...
The apostle John teaches us that GOD IS LOVE. That makes love extremely important.
Paul said, “If I could do the most amazing things in the world, but have not love, I’ve done nothing (because LOVE is the most important thing).”
Jesus, when asked about the most important commandment, said, “It’s love God and love people.”
LOVE IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN THE KINGDOM OF GOD.
Let me give you one more Scripture to support this statement...
1 Corinthians 13:13 NLT
Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.
Faith is extremely important. It pleases God. And it’s how we receive salvation in Jesus Christ. It’s how we are made right with God.
Hope is extremely important. Believing God’s future promises are crucial to growing in Christ.
But the apostle Paul, under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, as recorded in God’s perfect, inerrant, infallible Word says, “Love is the greatest.”
…That’s why “love” is part of our vision statement at The River Church. If you don’t have it memorized yet (which I highly encourage if you call TRC your home church), our vision statement is...
Loving Jesus as we build community and bring joy.
As a church, this is our purpose. This is who we are. This what God has called us to focus on in Glastonbury. And LOVE is part of our purpose because it’s THE MOST IMPORTANT THING.
Therefore, to grow in Christ is to grow in love. However, I think it’s necessary we first define love, because it can be an extremely subjective word in our world.
To some… love is an emotional feeling (and there’s some truth to that).
Some say love is accepting anything and everything.
Some believe love is up to personal interpretation.
But, without getting overly philosophical… I’ll say this:
I believe God is the Creator of all things, including love.
As Creator, He defines what He creates.
Therefore, God defines love and His definition is correct.
And in 1 Cor 13, God defines love this way...
1 Corinthians 13:4–7 ESV
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
This is how God defines love. While love does impact our emotions, and it does “cover a multitude of sin,” and it does embraces and accept sinners by grace through Jesus Christ... God says...
Love is patient and kind. Let that sink in a little… notice the sacrificial nature of love, not the prioritization of personal emotions...
It is not jealous, prideful, arrogant, rude, or selfish.
This is IMPORTANT… true love (God’s love) does not celebrate wrongdoings - things God defines as sin (1 Jn 5:17). This should challenge us because our culture celebrates a lot of things God says is wrong under the banner of love. But that’s not love. True love celebrates what God says right.
And… love embraces the mess. Love understands that sinners growing in Christ is a messy process. And love demands we expect and accept that. But despite the mess, love causes us to believe, hope, and endure!
Furthermore… “Love never ends...” (1 Cor. 13:8)
While the specific context for this phrase refers to love never ending in contrast to the spiritual gifts (which the Corinthians were elevating over love), I think there is an additional application. This also teaches us that God’s love is eternal, which means THIS definition never changes. THIS IS WHAT LOVE IS.
…with “love” defined, let’s jump into today’s passage found in Ephesians 4...
Ephesians 4:15–16 ESV
Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love.

Exegesis:

So, the verse starts off in an odd place. With the transitional phrase, “rather.” Rather than what?
Ephesians 4:13–14 NLT
This will continue until we all come to such unity in our faith and knowledge of God’s Son that we will be mature in the Lord, measuring up to the full and complete standard of Christ. Then we will no longer be immature like children. We won’t be tossed and blown about by every wind of new teaching. We will not be influenced when people try to trick us with lies so clever they sound like the truth.
The context is:
Verse 13 - God has called us to “grow up.” Therefore...
Verse 14 - As Christians, spiritually, we should not be like immature children.
Verse 15 - RATHER... Rather what? ...Rather than being spiritually immature…
And here’s an opportunity to pause to consider an important related thought… No one is instantaneously spiritually mature. Neither does one grow in Christ simply by aging, regularly attending church, or by spiritual osmosis (meaning being around mature Christians doesn’t magically make you mature).
We know this. Because there are a lot of people who have been in church for a long time and are still spiritual babies. That’s because growing in Christ requires intentionality. We must hear God say, “Grow up!” And we must respond, “Yes Lord! I will grow up!” And then, with intention, do whatever He says so we grow.
And in our passage, God says we need to “speak the truth in love...”
But, in the words of Pontius Pilate, “What is truth?” That’s an important question. Our world is still asking that question 2000 years later. And some say, “There is no absolute truth. Truth is relative! What’s true to me may not be true to you.”
That might make us feel good, but it makes no sense. Because logically, the phrase “There is no absolute truth” is in itself an “absolute statement, “ which makes it logically self-defeating. You may need more time to process that thought, but for simplicity’s sake (and time’s sake), let’s just go with the very logical idea that absolute truth exists. So, the question remains… what is truth?
Once again, let’s go with God’s definition. Jesus (who is God the Son) said to God the Father...
John 17:17 ESV
Sanctify them in the truth; your word is truth.
Truth is God’s word. Whatever God says is truth; therefore, in order to grow in Christ, we must learn God’s word.
That’s why we teach the Bible on Sundays and at Life Groups.
It’s why we encourage you to daily read God’s word, whether it’s using a One-Year Bible or the YouVersion Bible app.
It’s why, as a church, we have committed to providing Bible teaching resources to you like RightNow Media.
Growing in Christ requires us to know truth… to know God’s word.
However, it doesn’t just say, “know truth,” but speak the truth.
Now… we gotta be careful because some Christians believe this verse gives us permission to beat people with the Bible.
Y’all know the kind of people I’m talking about. And if you don’t, you might be one of the people we’re talking about.
You know the ones who say mean things, that might be truth-based, but are really said out of frustration, selfishness, or unbiblical judgment. Then, they justify their harsh statements by saying, “I’m only saying this because I love you.” No, I don’t think so… because we already defined love. And if what you say is not patient and kind, but rather selfish and rude… you’re not being spiritually mature, you’re just being a jerk. “Speaking the truth in love” does not give us permission to throw spiritual haymakers at sinners.
Now, the prophet Jeremiah does say...
Jeremiah 23:29 ESV
Is not my word like fire, declares the Lord, and like a hammer that breaks the rock in pieces?
God’s truth will confront us with hard things. It will challenge and offend us. But guess what… we don’t get to swing the spiritual hammer. So tell your inner-Thor to chill out. Jesus said...
John 16:8 NLT
And when he comes, he will convict the world of its sin, and of God’s righteousness, and of the coming judgment.
The Holy Spirit holds the hammer, not you.
So, how do we practice “speaking the truth in love?” We take the “love” qualification seriously. Let me give us an example...
When I was a manager for Hallmark, the owner (my boss) was a godly man. One of the best books he ever gave me was called, “The Calvary Road” by Roy Hession. And in that book, there is a lesson I think will help us correctly practice “speaking the truth in love.”
Matthew 7:1–5 NLT
“Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. For you will be treated as you treat others. The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged. “And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? How can you think of saying to your friend, ‘Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.
Just to clarify, this verse does not teach us to never judge. That would be absurd. However, it does warn us against judging incorrectly. Jesus says it’s okay to discern/judge our friend, especially when they are participating in sin. And our proper response may include “speaking the truth in love to them.” But there is a potential problem we must overcome first - while our friend’s sin is serious (because all sin is serious to God), often that sin is but a speck ...compared to the log in our eye.
What does this mean? What is the log in our eye? Roy Hession says “the log” is our lack of LOVE. I agree with his interpretation. Too often we are willing to speak truth, but don’t take the “in love” part seriously. And in God’s eyes, that’s a bigger problem.
So, how do we correctly speak the truth in love, so we grow in Christ?
We commit to knowing God’s truth (we learn the Scriptures), so we can rightfully speak truth (to ourselves and others).
But more than that, we commit to knowing God’s love, so that when we speak that truth, we properly represent God’s heart.
If we speak truth without kindness and patience...
If we speak while being rude or selfish...
If we do not first and foremost see the person we are speaking to with Christ’s heart…
Then it’s better to keep your mouth shut, pray, and ask the Holy Spirit to give you His love for that person. And the spiritually mature person understands this process.
Do not speak until the Holy Spirit infuses you heart with His love. If you practice “speaking the truth in love” this way, you will grow in Christ.
Furthermore, the phase “speaking the truth in love” is not limited to speech, but ultimately means to “truth it up in life.” When we grow in Christ, we don’t just speak truth, we live truth - with love. Every area of our lives must be impacted by God’s truth and love, whether we’re alone or in a crowd, at work or school or church. We are to be people guided by God’s truth; but MORE IMPORTANTLY, we are people known for God’s love.
That’s what Paul means when he says...
Ephesians 4:15 ESV
Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ,
In other words...
My life must look like Jesus’ life, and Jesus’ life looked like love. To grow in Christ is to first grow in love. The two work hand-in-hand.
And the love we are growing into must first be directed at Jesus. Spiritual growth will not happen if we don’t first love God. But we can’t just love Jesus however we want, because (as we’ve already discussed) we don’t get to define love… God does. We must love God the way He tells us to… and Jesus said...
John 14:15 ESV
“If you love me, you will keep my commandments.
To grow in Christ is to grow in obedience to His commandments, which we find in God’s word - the Bible. To love God is to love His truth.
...That being just as God’s truth cannot be separated from God’s love, loving God must include from loving people too. You ever heard things like, “I love God, I just don’t like people.” Or, “I love Jesus, I just don’t love His church.” Can’t happen. Doesn’t work that way. Loving God REQUIRES us to love people too.
Jesus taught this!
Matthew 22:38–39 NLT
This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’
And that is what Paul teaches in Ephesians 4 too...
Ephesians 4:15–16 ESV
Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love.
[notice the relational language]
We are called to grow in Christ. To do so, we must grow in truth. And that truth must be soaked in God’s love. But love must be experienced in community… in relationship with other people… otherwise its incomplete… because God designed it to work that way...
In fact, when Paul writes, “when each part is working properly...” he’s teaching that growth demands a personal commitment to love one another. Growing in Christ does not work properly apart from community.
Loving Jesus without loving people is spiritual immaturity, because LOVE REQUIRES US TO LIVE IN RELATIONSHIP - Joined and held together as His body.
For our two-minute warning (Super Bowl reference), let me suggest one final way for our passage to instruct us in growing in love…
Jesus is the Head, and He’s fully connected to His body - the church.
However, Jesus is currently in heaven, while His church (us) is on earth.
Nevertheless, as the Head, Jesus is the source of life for the body. And where He is flows to where we are, since we are connected.
Therefore, a good test to see if we are growing in Christ’s LOVE is to ask, “When people experience me, do they experience heaven?”
I mean… if we are doing this Christian thing right, wouldn’t that make sense?
In preparing for this sermon, I was so convicted when I asked myself this question. Because I know the answer is often, “No.” Too often I am impatient, unkind, selfish, arrogant, rude, and so on - and there’s nothing heavenly about that. Yet, this world, our church, my family, desperately needs to experience heavenly love. God, forgive me (forgive us).
I need to grow up. We need to grow up, so that our lives match Jesus’ life. We need to grow up into Christ.

Response:

And so, as we close, I’m guessing I’m not alone in falling short in God’s love. But just in case there’s any doubt… use 1 Cor 13 as a test.
Love is patient and kind - fail.
Love does not envy or boast - fail.
It is not arrogant or rude - fail, fail.
It does not insist on it’s own way - fail.
Do I need to go on? And our failure tells us two things...
Spiritual immaturity exists in us all. None of us have arrive and we all need to repent (because sin is the true source of our spiritual immaturity).
We all need to grow in love so we can grow in Christ.
So, here’s some practical steps to growing in love:
First off, before you can grow in love, you need to be in Christ. Have you received God’s love and forgiveness yet?
1 John 4:10 ESV
In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.
Jesus loved us so much that He died on the cross for the forgiveness of our sins. We didn’t deserve this. We didn’t even love Him. But He didn’t care. He loved us. And He sacrificed His life so we could be made right with God and live in His love. And the truth is… if we will turn from our sin (repent) and put our faith/trust in Jesus as Lord and Savior… He will give us new life. And we will be able to experience true love.
That’s step number 1. You can’t move any further until that happens. But once you’ve done that… here are some next steps to growing in love...
We need to learn God’s truth. Growing in truth, allows us to speak the truth in love, which helps us grow in Christ. So… in what ways can you spend more time in the Scriptures?
We need to become more like Jesus. When people experienced Jesus, they experienced heavenly love. So… as His body, how can people experience heaven through your love? Here’s two suggestions...
This week, commit to being more patient with people. Before you react, wait. Wait for God. And as you wait, ask God, “How can I show Your love in this moment.”
Secondly, infuse every word you speak with kindness. This week, let no unkind word exit your mouth. Give people a taste of heaven, where they will never hear anything but words filled with God’s love.
If we will commit to growing in LOVE (the most important thing), we will grow in Christ. We will win.
Let’s pray....
Father, fill us with Your love this morning. We need it so we can grow into the likeness of You Son, Jesus. Forgive us for our lack of love. Forgive us for embracing unbiblical love. Change us according to Your truth. May you use our lives - filled with Your love - so people can experience the hope of heaven. In Jesus name, amen.
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