Meant To Be...Marry Or Burn

In the wrong context, the fire of passion will consume us, but when we burn with the passion of God, we will not burn out!

Oversimplified Struggles

In 1 Corinthians, Paul writes that it is good to stay unmarried, but that if we can’t control our passion, we should get married. At first glance, it seems like Paul is glossing over the struggle of being single. He makes it sound like it’s very easy to find someone and get married, when in reality, it can be far from that simple!

1 Corinthians 7:8–9 NKJV

But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am; but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

It is possible to be successfully single. Paul was single and wrote most of the New Testament. Jesus Christ was single.

However, to be successfully single, we must address the the sexual and emotional passions that still burn within us. If we’re not careful, these struggles can burn holes in our hearts. The struggle between staying pure and waiting for marriage is too legitimate to ignore.

Most of our culture oversimplifies the struggle of being single with the adage, “waiting for “the one.” However, This is pragmatically flawed—if one person doesn’t marry “the one,” the entire order of the universe is thrown off-kilter and causes no-one to marry “the one.”!

However, that it is more about being the right person than finding the right person. If we’re not whole in Christ going into a relationship, it’s going to be a disaster, no matter if the other person is “the One” or not. Perhaps Paul didn’t directly address the struggle of finding who we’re going to marry because if we truly seek Jesus first, God will position us to meet someone in the right place at the right time!

Mismanaged Passions

Paul says it’s better to marry than burn with passion. We all experience different forms of desire, whether it’s sexual or emotional burning. It’s important for us to realize that the desire itself is not dirty. Biblically, one of the main purposes of fire is to purify us, but Satan wants to pervert our pure passions in order to destroy us!

Exodus 2:11–15 NKJV

Now it came to pass in those days, when Moses was grown, that he went out to his brethren and looked at their burdens. And he saw an Egyptian beating a Hebrew, one of his brethren. So he looked this way and that way, and when he saw no one, he killed the Egyptian and hid him in the sand. And when he went out the second day, behold, two Hebrew men were fighting, and he said to the one who did the wrong, “Why are you striking your companion?” Then he said, “Who made you a prince and a judge over us? Do you intend to kill me as you killed the Egyptian?” So Moses feared and said, “Surely this thing is known!” When Pharaoh heard of this matter, he sought to kill Moses. But Moses fled from the face of Pharaoh and dwelt in the land of Midian; and he sat down by a well.

In Exodus, Moses was given a burning passion to see the people of Israel freed from slavery. But he didn’t manage his passion correctly, and he murdered a man. Just like Moses, God puts powerful passions inside us. What we do with our passions determines whether they lead us to our purpose or to great pain!

There is a big difference between intimacy and infatuation. Infatuation is a false fire. It feels like love, but it’s not love. We need to be careful we don’t let culture define what we find desirable!

God puts fires and drives inside us. We don’t want to get rid of them, but to put them in the right context. Passion needs parameters. Sex is not the problem. It’s the context we put it in. Marriage is the only thing strong enough to contain this kind of passion. Outside this context, we are going to get burned!

Shameless Solutions

Exodus 3:1–4 NKJV

Now Moses was tending the flock of Jethro his father-in-law, the priest of Midian. And he led the flock to the back of the desert, and came to Horeb, the mountain of God. And the Angel of the Lord appeared to him in a flame of fire from the midst of a bush. So he looked, and behold, the bush was burning with fire, but the bush was not consumed. Then Moses said, “I will now turn aside and see this great sight, why the bush does not burn.” So when the Lord saw that he turned aside to look, God called to him from the midst of the bush and said, “Moses, Moses!” And he said, “Here I am.”

No matter what sin or mismanaged passion we’re dealing with, shame is never the solution. Christianity’s approach to the fire of our desires has often been to pour an ice bucket of shame over them. But shame is actually the cause of most of our sexual problems. We’re dysfunctional because we don’t like ourselves!

Our sexual desire is like a gas-assisted fireplace. Many of us turn on the gas and let it build up in the fireplace, then wonder why it blows up in our face when we light a match. We need to examine the kinds of things we let build up that fuel our wrong desires.

Four areas to watch: Conversation, Comparison, Imagination, and Idleness.

-Conversation: Who is speaking into your life? What are they filling your head and your heart with? -Comparison: Who are you comparing yourself to? How do you protect yourself from this approach? -Imagination: Where is your mind wandering to? What are you daydreaming of? -Idleness: What is consuming your time? How can you fight negative desires with positive desires?

If we let ourselves watch whatever we want, say whatever we want, and look at whatever we want, we are just adding fuel to our sexual dysfunction!

We need a shameless solution. We need to fight fire with fire. The fire of God can consume the flames that have been consuming us. Only fire and passion for Jesus Christ can overpower the flame of wrong desires!

In Exodus 3, God poured out His fire on a bush. The bush was burning up, but it didn’t burn out. Sexual passion will burn us up then burn us out. But when we burn with a holy fire and passion for God, the flame will never burn us out. God is a sustaining God. We can fight the wrong fires with more of the fire of His presence.

Call To Action

Invite the Lord into your life..."Dear God, I know I’m a sinner, and I ask for your forgiveness. I believe Jesus Christ is Your Son. I believe that He died for my sin and that you raised Him to life. I want to trust Him as my Savior and follow Him as Lord, from this day forward. Guide my life and help me to do your will. I pray this in the name of Jesus. Amen."

Maybe you’ve been burnt by misguided passions and you’re ready for healing and surrender to do it His way?

Maybe you’re ready to be filled with the fire of God and His passion?