What Is Love?: Boundaries

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Message

Tonight we are diving into week 2 of our series on “What is Love?” Last week we talked about the basics of love. We broke it down into some definitions and using Christ as an example of how we are supposed to love.

Tonight we are going to be diving into relationships. we are going to talk about having healthy boundaries!

I am going to break it down into 2 sections

Friendships

Relationships

First lets look at the definition of boundaries

a line that marks the limits of an area; a dividing line.

So a line that makes an area. We have boundaries in our lives in lots of different places.

A time in my life where I probably crossed some personal boundaries was when I was trying to talk to Jenna

Tell that story

So I know a thing or two about crossing boundaries.

But I want to start out tonight before we talk about dating, I want to talk about friendships.

Friendships

When I look at boundaries with friends I think of 2 things

getting taken for granted

and crossing personal boundaries

What I mean by getting taken for granted is this

Tell story of Reece & Eric bullying me

but scripture says this

Ephesians 2:10 (NIV)

For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

I am God’s handiwork and that is something we all need to see. We are God’s handiwork.

I have this lego set in my office that I really like. Its my big collectors edition republic gunship. That is my handiwork and I dont let people mess with it.. but I decided it was okay to let people mess with god’s handy work?

We ourselves can have boundaries that we cross for the sake of friendships

Proverbs 10:9 (NIV)

Whoever walks in integrity walks securely,

but whoever takes crooked paths will be found out.

We are called as Christians to live a life separated from the world. Its a thing called integrity!

Define integrity

the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness.

Luke 16:10 ““Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much.”

Our integrity often meets its match with who we hang out with.

God calls us to be honest even in small details we could easily rationalize away

Do not let your integrity slip in small matters, and it will not fail you in crucial decisions either.

1 Cor. 15:33 “Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.””

Keeping company with those who deny Christ could corrupt good Christian character.

don’t let your friendships with unbelievers lead you away from Christ or cause your faith to waiver.

Now I want to dive into Relationships!

Relationships

So dating, relationships, sex are all completely corrupted by this world.

It is vital to understand what a biblical grounded worldview of these different things is

Scripture doesn't really talk about dating but it does talk about marriage. and the importance of that

Gen 2:23-24 “The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.” That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.”

God gave marriage as a gift to adam and eve.

They were created perfect for each other.

,marriage was not just for convenience, nor was it brought about by any culture.

It was instituted by god and has 3 basic aspects

1. The man leaves his parents and, in a public act, promises himself to his wife

2. The man and woman are joined together by taking responsibility for each others welfare and by loving the mate above all others

3. the two become one flesh in the intimacy and commitment of sexual union that is reserved for marriage.

Strong marriages include all 3 aspects

The world can get with the first 2 but its the last one where we are separated as Christians

Sex is reserved for marriage. Why you may ask? because that is how God designed it!

Sex creates what is known in Christian-ese as a “Soul Tie”

A soul tie is meant to be reserved for a husband and wife, it binds you closer than anything else. It is the becoming one flesh the bible talks about

Use tape

In your dating relationships you have to draw a clear line or boundary and stick to it.

that boundary is different for each person and relationship but I can tell you that tetering the edge is a slippery slope

Our culture treats sex as this thing that in order to understand if you are compatible with someone you have to do.

This is cheapening the purpose and intent of sex

Which is to deepen the relationship between husband and wife

Another thing that destroys marriages and the intent of Sex is porn

93 % of boys and 62% of girls are exposed to internet pornography before the age of 18.

67% of children admit to clearing their internet history to hide their online activity.

The average age a child first sees internet pornography is 11.

Porn is one of the greatest tools the enemy uses to destroy the idea of marriage and sex and humanity

Matt 5:27-30 ““You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.”

When Jesus said to get rid of your hand or your eye, he was speaking figuratively

He didn't mean literally to gouge our your eye, because even a blind person can lust.

but if that were the only choice, it would be better to go into heaven with one eye or hand than to go to hell with two

we sometimes tolerate sins in our lives that left unchecked, could eventually destroy us.

it is better to experience the pain of removal

Getting rid of a bad habit or something we treasure, than to allow the sin to bring judgement and condemnation.

I’ll say that again it is better to experience the pain of removal than to allow the sin to bring judgement and condemnation.

Some think that if lustful thoughtful thoughts are sin, why shouldn't a person go ahead and do the lustful actions too?

acting out sinful desires is harmful in several ways

1. it causes people to excuse sin rather than to stop sinning

2. it is deliberate rebellion against God’s Word

3. it always hurts someone else in addition to the sinner.

Sinful action is more dangerous than sinful desire, and that is wht desires should not be acted out.

nevertheless, sinful desire is just as damaging to righteousness.

left unchecked, wrong desires will result in wrong actions and turn people away form God

Porn has destroyed this idea of sex. desensitized the youth of america and the world treats it as normal!

When we look at porn we look at someone made in the image of God and say… yeah but i don’t care about them. They are God’s handiwork!

Ending

We are going to take some time tonight and reflect on our own

What areas of your life have you let boundaries slip. Where have you compromised

Leaders are available to pray with you!