The Future is Male and Female

Galatians 3:26–28 (NIV)

So in Christ Jesus you are all children of God through faith,

for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ.

There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.

Ephesians 5:21 NIV

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Introduction

I have had the chance to officiate several weddings over the years, and I’ve developed a bit of a theory about what happens on that big wedding day.

I call it the Altar of Expectation. Some of you have heard this before, but this will be new to some of you.

Generally speaking, I know this is a generalization, but the woman will stand at the alter thinking “I can’t wait to change him.” He is her project. There are things about him that she wants to change and they were things she couldn’t change as long as they were just dating, but now if her chance.

And the man, he’s standing there looking into her eyes and he’s thinking, “she’s never going to change!” She is going to to look this beautiful, sweet, and kind forever.

And the truth is, ladies, that man ain’t gonna change. Men change, but not that much. I know you want to play fixer upper on your husband, but men hardly change!

And men, I know you think she’s never gonna change. But she’s gonna change! Women will carry another human being in them, sometimes more than one, and it’s going to change her.

And in the past I would end this dissertation right here…

But I’ve grown, and what I have seen is that men can change. But most often those changes involve God. And women, will change, but with God, they will change to the best version of themselves.

And today, let’s talk about Male & Female. Are you ready?

Let’s go.

Rise of the Future is Feminine

Am emerging statement from culture is that “The Future is Feminine,” or “The Future is Female.”

What does that mean?

Attitudes and values viewed as feminine are the future

Systems of male violence have run their course.

I read an article, and I want to preface that this is an article, and it is therefore an opinion of a person, and this is what he offered about The Future is Feminine.

The “Way of the Predator”, as has been established by men, must be replaced by the “Way of the Nurturer”, which is inseparably female. Later in this article the author presented strong leading women who are in fact championing incredible causes, and he said becuase they are female women championing these causes, it is therefore feminine.

Here is what this author, who I believe represents a rising voice in culture, is saying:

Feminine, not masculine, values want to bring genuine care for people again. Feminine values want to bring make healthcare available to everyone. Feminine values want to bring education to everyone. Feminine values want to provide care for widows.

This article praised Elizabeth Warren for championing these causes. And, I want to say that she should be praised for championing these causes.

But I do want to point out that all of these causes were championed by Jesus, long before Elizabeth Warren arrived. All of these things were championed by a man who stood up against a severely oppressive Roman system, and a religious institution that copied that same oppressive system and slapped a chapter and a verse on it.

Here are the values of Jesus:

Matthew 5:7 (NIV)

Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.

Matthew 5:9 (NIV)

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.

Matthew 6:3 (NIV)

But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing,

We have this passage of scripture in Matthew 25, when Jesus uses a parable to describe what our work here on earth should look like. In this parable, listen to Jesus’ words...

Matthew 25:34–40 (NIV)

“Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world.

For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in,

I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’

“Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink?

When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you?

When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’

“The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

Jesus is making the point that our justice, here on earth, is what separates the true followers of Jesus. He said every time you feed someone, gave drink to someone, clothed someone, cared for the sick, and visited the incarcerated, you did that for Jesus.

And so yes, thank you Elizabeth Warren for championing these causes, but they do not have their beginnings with a female, and therefore they are female. They have their beginnings, and consequently their commands, with Jesus our Lord and our Savior.

The problem with our culture, which is a problem with our church, is the illiteracy and the ignorance of the scriptures. And that produces the greatest threat to our society today, and that is the authority of the scriptures.

And let me follow up that by stating this, a person’s ignorance of God’s word doesn’t change the authority of God’s word.

Male Violence

As I mentioned earlier, the author applies a second label that he calls “male violence.”

He is espousing an idea that all violent acts are because of males. He is making a singular correlation and throwing all men into the bus of “male violence.”

So the danger with perpetuating this narrative of “male violence” is that I know that what you speak over a person repeatedly, they are likely to do or to become.

If we continue to use this label, we begin to create a narrative that men are violent. And if a child is repeatedly told at a young age that he is predispositioned to violence he will wear that label. Why? Because you normalize it.

Culture is trying to apply false labels to men in an effort to reduce their impact.

We talked about this last week… and if we work really hard to get a father out of the home, the world will be left to live with that consequence.

Dimming the Light of Men

And so here’s the big issue. Here’s the big problem. This is my thoughts on the dangers facing the feminist movement.

The feminist movement is dimming the light of men in an effort to make the light of women shine brighter.

And you’ll never make your light shine brighter by dimming the light of others.

Where the feminist movement is wrong is that it is seeking to push men into the margins, rather than working with the church to call men up to masculinity and fight along side them.

Inequitable pay is real. Under representation is real.

I’ve not said this publicly, and I’ll not say this again after today, but I pushed very hard to move our organization to allow women into the ministry. I wasn’t alone, but I was first.

Why? Because that’s what I see in the Bible. I see women actively leading in the church, and they didn’t step into that role by diminishing the roles of the other leaders.

Jesus, Our Banner

While I vehemently disagree with the author of this post, I can understand his position if he’s never been taught about Jesus. I can understand his ignorance and his misappropriation of justice as feminine if he’s never been taught the Bible. Because, “how can they believe if they have not heard?” Paul said that.

And so today, I’m not looking to tear down the advancement of women, and I have so much to say about that, but I am using this article, and the conclusions it has drawn, to point out that our culture is making false conclusions due to a bad foundation.

And let me just say this, I am not saying that because Jesus preached the Sermon on the Mount and called his followers into a life of doing good that justice is therefore masculine in gender. I am saying that to do good is neither male, nor female, but it is simply following Jesus.

Remember, it’s the world that is creating these divides. It is the world that is making it us versus them. Jesus just said, “everyone will know that you are my follower by how you love one another.”

This has nothing to do with gender, and everything to do with allegiance to our King and our Savior, Jesus.

And we see Jesus lifting up women. We see Jesus breaking gender discrimination. We see Jesus smashing hierarchies, and he did all of this with the purest intentions. Jesus had no bankroll, and he had no ulterior motives, and he wasn’t led by special interest groups.

The way of Jesus was to lift up both men and women, and throughout the scriptures, I see a better way of looking at male and female.

We Are Equal, but Different

The first thing that I believe that the Bible teaches us is that men and women are equals, but they are different.

Galatians 3:26–28 (NIV)

So in Christ Jesus you are all children of God through faith,

for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ.

There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.

Paul writing smashes discrimination, status, and sex, all in one swoop of the pen. We are all equal in God’s eyes. He doesn’t see a man and say, “He’s better”. He sees his son, and he sees his daughters. He doesn’t see a hierarchy.

When we talk about gender roles in marriage, God calls couples into mutual submission.

Ephesians 5:21 (NIV)

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Mutual submission is the foundation to a complimentarian relationship with each other. We are equals, but we are different.

How is this articulated in the scripture?

Ephesians 5:23–24 (NIV)

For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.

Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

God’s view is that he sees the husband as the head of his wife. And I want to explain this on a deeper level, because so many men get this wrong.

To be the head of your wife, and the head of your family, means that God is holding you, men, responsible for your family. This doesn’t make you the lazy CEO of the home who has a paper title, but this means men that when something needs to be fixed in the home, husbands need to lead that effort.

So many men leave their home and give the best of themselves to their job, or their employer, and they come home and the family has to settle for left overs. And then, men want to delegate the keeping of the home and raising of the children to their wife, but when there is a conflict they want to exercise headship, and they haven’t acted like the head of the home for years.

You can’t relinquish your responsibilities and exercise them when it’s convenient for you.

And men, let me lean in some more here...

When I read this verse, I don’t get puffed up with arrogance, I am humbled by the weight of the responsibility of leading my home well. I will one day stand before God and give an account for how I did as the head of my marriage and the head of my home. I will one day stand before God and my works will be judged.

Can you imagine standing before God and he says:

You spent more time playing video games than you did attending your sons sports games.

You spent more time on your Fantasy Football League than you did spending time with your daughter.

You spent more time in the garage than you did with your wife.

So yea men, your role is you are the head.

But as they say, heavy is the head that wears the crown.

And if you feel like you haven’t succeeded here, I want to tell you Lighthouse Men that you can make a fresh start today! I’m not calling you out, I am calling you up!

[TRANSITION}

Now I know that some of you are like, Pastor we already called the men up last week, are we gonna do it again? Well, truthfully, I can’t talk about Male and Female without setting the roles in their place.

So let me drill more into this passage of scripture and talk to the women here today.

Ephesians 5:22 (NIV)

Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.

That’s the role that women are to play.

Let me illustrate this through a brief, but very personal story.

There was a member of our church, on our team, that let me know her husband no longer wanted to attend this church. What was she supposed to do?

And as hard as it was to say this, I had to tell her to follow her husbands lead.

So when I asked where he was going to church, she said he’s going to church online.

I told her that unless he is sick or incapacitated, he needed to be in a building. I’m sorry, but the pandemic ended with the 2021 Super Bowl.

So she told her husband, I will follow you to a new church, but it won’t be online. You lead us to a knew Bible teaching church, and that’s where we’ll go.

And he did. And I am proud of him, and I am proud of that family. That’s the role. That’s the order. And I believe God will bless that.

Now for the men, here we go. Paul has more advise for you.

Ephesians 5:25 (NIV)

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

Men, what is the measure of our love towards our wives?

As Christ loved the Church. He laid down his life for the church. That’s the degree to which we are to love our wives. You lay down your life, your hobbies, your bros, your Fantasy Football League, Your Pickle-ball, or whatever season you are in. You give yourself up, for her...

And I know, you’re probably thinking, “I’m giving up everything Pastor!”

You are. You wanted to be married didn’t you? You wanted #RelationshipGoals didn’t you?

But here’s your friendly advise… eventually she’s gonna be sick of you and will WANT you gone. She’s gonna sign you up for that Pickle-ball league herself.

She doesn’t want you home all day.

That’s graduate course marriage advise right there.

Smoother her… and you’ll be back on the soccer fields in no time.

Anything You Can Do, She Can Make Better

Let me close with this…

Do you remember that song, “Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better. I Can Do Anything Better Than You.”

Kind of fun, kind of annoying...

That’s kind of the tone of the culture right now with gender roles. We can do it better than you!

And here’s what I’ve found… lean in to what I’m going to say.

Over my 19 years of marriage here is what I’ve seen.

Anything I can do, she can make better.

I didn’t say she can do it better, I am saying she can make it better.

By our very natures, we men provide a seed, and when given to our wives, they incubate it into life.

I know you’re thinking making babies, and that’s obviously where at it’s basic level is true.

But think about this...

Men we get ideas. But when we give them to our wife, she takes our ideas and makes them better.

I wrote a book, but Joanna is the one who has been feeding me ideas on how we can market it, and get it into more peoples hands.

I book the vacation, but Joanna creates the memories.

Listen to me...

Women are multipliers.

When we get out of our own way, and let our women do what they are gifted to do, they truly multiply things and make them better.

How many of you seen a dude get radically upgraded when they just let their wife do what she was gifted to do?

It’s like you used to have one eye brow. Now you have two! She literally multiplied your eye brows!

Ok, that’s not nice…

But it is funny, I don’t care what you say!

Conclusion