The Forgiveness Letter

Scripture Reading

Ephesians 4:32 (ESV)

32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

Introduction

British General James Oglethorpe once said to John Wesley, "I never forgive and I never forget." To which Wesley replied, "Then, Sir, I hope you never sin."

What is Forgiveness?

“When unjustly hurt by another, we forgive when we overcome the resentment toward the offender, not by denying our right to the resentment, but instead by trying to offer the wrongdoer compassion, benevolence, and love; as we give these, we as forgivers realize that the offender does not necessarily have a right to such gifts.”

Why Forgive?

“Physically, forgiveness creates a higher quality of life, a healthier body, and a more positive attitude. It can reduce anger, bitterness, resentment and depression. Spiritually, forgiveness affirms what our faith usually requires of us and, therefore, helps us live a life of integrity. Socially, forgiveness reduces anger and resentment and often leads to an improvement in personal relationships with family, friends and community.”

The Stages of Forgiveness

Forgiveness researchers Enright and Fitzgibbons provided four stages of forgiveness:

Uncovering: This stage is about gathering information about how the offense has hurt us, changed us, or cost us. Often this includes reflection on how it has preoccupied us mentally or emotionally.

Decision: Once we understand how not forgiving has cost us and what forgiveness is, we can decide to commit to the process.

Work: This stage is challenging. We work to gain a deeper understanding of the offender, our self, and the relationship, as applicable. During this stage, we begin to experience more empathy and compassion for our self and for the perpetrator.

Deepening: Finding meaning in the suffering might include becoming more connected to others or recognizing that suffering is universal.

Things to Consider

How did the event(s) change you? Did it change how you view your world, yourself, and others?

What emotions are still present? Anger? Guilt? Shame? Hurt? Others?

What has holding on to this cost you in terms of time, relationships, energy, happiness, etc.? Has it affected your health? Your sleep?

How often does the event come to mind? How often do you dwell on it?

What particular benefits might come to you if you were able to emotionally forgive the offense and/or the offender?

Do you feel ready to do the work of forgiveness in order to free yourself from the past?

The Forgiveness Letter

Matthew 5:24 (ESV)

24 leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.

Testimony — forgiveness letter

God wrote a forgiveness letter — the Bible 1,483 pages

Without this letter we would self-destruct

Unless in the words of John Wesley you’ve never sinned.

Conclusion

Forgiveness is an absolute necessity for continued human existence... —Bishop Desmond Tutu