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“My word is my bond.” That’s a claim we rarely hear, and even more rarely see lived out in our culture. And sadly, I can say there have been times that you and I haven’t fulfilled what we said we would do. And whether it was intentional or not, breaking our promises will negatively affect our relationships.

As we will see today, Jesus thinks promises made to God & people are really important. In fact…

BIG TRUTH: When we keep our promises we point to the ultimate Promise Keeper.

When we don’t…then we don’t.

First we are going to see what Jesus says about breaking the promise to our spouse. Divorce is one of the most hurtful and controversial topics among Christians today. All of us have in some way been affected by divorce - maybe YOU or another family member have been divorced. Maybe it’s longtime friends or mentors who have called it quits. The goal of today’s teaching is NOT to rub your face in past hurt. Instead, it’s to deal with an issue that JESUS thought was incredibly important in His culture, like it is in ours.

Again, if Jesus is not just the interpreter of Scripture, but the AUTHOR of Scripture, the One who inspired the Scripture to be written, then we MUST see divorce through through HIS eyes.

Is divorce allowed…for any reason? Can a divorced person remarry in God’s eyes? Let’s see what the AUTHOR of Scripture has to say.

Matthew 5:31–32 (NET) 31 “It was said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife must give her a legal document.’32 But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

Moses gave them a legal document, a certificate of divorce, to prove they could remarry. Otherwise, they would likely have very little way of supporting themselves and their children.

This is found in Deuteronomy 24.

Deuteronomy 24:1 (NET) If a man marries a woman30565742105774: PROMISE KEEPERS (Mat 5:31-37)“My word is my bond.” That’s a claim we rarely hear, and even more rarely see lived out in our culture. And, intentional or not, breaking our promises will negatively affect our relationships. Today we discover the importance of being Promise Keepers.4: PROMISE KEEPERS (Mat 5:31-37)“My word is my bond.” That’s a claim we rarely hear, and even more rarely see lived out in our culture. And, intentional or not, breaking our promises will negatively affect our relationships. Today we discover the importance of being Promise Keepers.4: PROMISE KEEPERS (Mat 5:31-37)“My word is my bond.” That’s a claim we rarely hear, and even more rarely see lived out in our culture. And, intentional or not, breaking our promises will negatively affect our relationships. Today we discover the importance of being Promise Keepers.4: PROMISE KEEPERS (Mat 5:31-37)“My word is my bond.” That’s a claim we rarely hear, and even more rarely see lived out in our culture. And, intentional or not, breaking our promises will negatively affect our relationships. Today we discover the importance of being Promise Keepers. and she does not please him because he has found something offensive in her, then he may draw up a divorce document, give it to her, and evict her from his house.

4: PROMISE KEEPERS (Mat 5:31-37)

“My word is my bond.” That’s a claim we rarely hear, and even more rarely see lived out in our culture. And, intentional or not, breaking our promises will negatively affect our relationships. Today we discover the importance of being Promise Keepers.

4: PROMISE KEEPERS (Mat 5:31-37)

“My word is my bond.” That’s a claim we rarely hear, and even more rarely see lived out in our culture. And, intentional or not, breaking our promises will negatively affect our relationships. Today we discover the importance of being Promise Keepers.

Now in Jesus’ day there was a long standing controversy over what something offensive meant. Some took the ultimate liberal slant. Has your wife ever burnt your meal? My Dad tells me that my Mom loves his so much, sometimes she gives him burnt sacrifices. But in that day, some interpreted that you could divorce your wife for that…NO…I’m not kidding.

But Jesus is not trying to give a bunch of exception clauses so people can find a way out of their marriages. He is not giving an extended list of what if’s but pointing to what should be. - reminding people that God’s view of marriage is intended to be a lifelong covenant.

I have met with people who seem to want RELEASE from marriage instead of desiring to REKINDLE the marriage. They are looking for every reason to divorce while discounting the consequences of disobeying God’s commands. Jesus is not focused on why a person might get OUT of marriage, but why a person should stay IN marriage.

Jesus again makes this very clear at another time when He says:

Matthew 19:4–9 (NET) 4 …“Have you not read that from the beginning the Creator made them male and female,5 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and will be united with his wife, and the two will become one flesh’?6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

7 They said to him, “Why then did Moses command us to give a certificate of dismissal and to divorce her?”8 Jesus said to them, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because of your hard hearts, but from the beginning it was not this way. 9 Now I say to you that whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another commits adultery.”

Marriage is intended to be one man and one woman for one lifetime.

There ARE some reasons that God allows for divorce, and if He allows for divorce then remarriage would be allowed too.

But here’s the tough part, the part that a lot of us would like to avoid. The man who ‘divorces’ his wife without just cause might think he is divorced and able to remarry, but JESUS says this is not the case. This is a man who is still married in God’s eyes, and who is now pursuing another woman while still being married - and that’s adultery.

And, in Jesus’ culture, the man now sets his estranged wife up to commit adultery as well.

Matthew 5:31–32 (NET) 31 “It was said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife must give her a legal document.’32 But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

Since a Jewish woman couldn’t initiate divorce, the man has put his estranged wife in a position where she is on her own, with likely no way of supporting herself & children. This is WHY Moses gave them a certificate of divorce, allowing her to remarry and be provided for.

But since God still sees her married to the other man, this also makes her commit adultery - If this sounds really messy, that’s because it IS!!!!

Marriage is intended to be one man and one woman for one lifetime.

But marriage is more than just about a man, a woman, & family.

Denny Burk (interviewed by Greg Koukl on podcast ‘Denny Burk - The Meaning of Sex’) "Our marriages were always meant to be about this other marriage (Eph. 5 - the mystery of Christ and the Church)...Our marriages are supposed to be saying something about the gospel...When a husband fails to love his wife; when a wife fails to follow the leadership of her husband; when a marriage breaks apart in divorce, we are actually saying something blasphemous about the Gospel, because marriages are supposed to be these little dramas of redemption put on display for the world.”

So, to answer questions that are likely swirling in our heads…

When IS Remarriage recognized by God?

The bond between husband and wife is only dissolved by death, adultery, abandonment, or abuse. The Scriptures say that the death of a spouse means a person may be remarried. Jesus has just mentioned adultery (immorality). Paul further mentions abandonment as another legitimate reason for divorce & remarriage.

1 Corinthians 7:12–15 (NET) 12 To the rest I say—I, not the Lord [in other words, Paul the apostle of Jesus, is ruling on a case in which Jesus had given no verdict.] —if a brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is happy to live with him, he should not divorce her. 13 And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is happy to live with her, she should not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified because of the wife, and the unbelieving wife because of her husband. Otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy. 15 But if the unbeliever wants a divorce, let it take place. In these circumstances the brother or sister is not bound. God has called you in peace.

When Christians in Paul’s day were wanting to divorce unbelieving spouses, Paul told them to stay in the relationship and be the godly influence of the home. But if the unbelieving spouse abandoned the believer, the believer was “not bound” (1 Cor 7:15).

So what does THAT mean? Again, there has been much debate over this.

Craig Keener says Paul’s use of the phrase, “not bound” recalls the exact language used in in ancient divorce contracts giving freedom to remarry, and notes that this is how his ancient readers would have understood it. Hence, Paul is saying that divorce & remarriage are allowed.

As previously mentioned…

The bond between husband and wife is only dissolved by death, adultery, abandonment, or abuse.

Although not specifically mentioned in Scripture, a spouse may divorce the husband/wife who abuses and endangers the family. There is no doubt in my mind that Jesus would not expect a wife to stay with a man who beats her, abuses the children, or brings others into the house who do.

THE BIG PICTURE

Marriage is intended to be one man and one woman for one lifetime.

When God permits divorce because of adultery, abandonment, abuse, then remarriage is also permitted.

Otherwise, the divorce is not recognized and sexual relationship with another is adultery.

One last question and then we will move forward.

So what if someone has divorced and remarried outside of these allowed exceptions? What should you do NOW? Should you leave that person too and be celibate the rest of your life?

Here’s my take…not the Lord’s, and not Paul’s…as they don’t speak to it. STAY in your current situation and honor the Lord with it!

If you and your first spouse remarried years ago, don’t leave and try to reconcile - that would be a MESS

Is your marriage in trouble? You think you have biblical grounds…or you would LIKE to - cause you want out? You might be PERMITTED to divorce and remarry, but that doesn’t mean you are COMMANDED to. If your spouse is willing to turn from their sin against you, make the effort to restore relationship. THAT is the heartbeat of God.

In fact, although Jesus wasn’t married to a woman, He IS the example of a faithful promise keeper. How many times have WE committed spiritual adultery, looking to someone or something else to fulfill our lives? Yet, how many times has He forgiven and restored us! We might have broken our promise to Him, but he hasn’t broken His promise to us!

And…

When we keep our promises we point to the ultimate Promise Keeper.

What if your spouse modeled THAT to you!!! What if YOU modeled that to your spouse!!!

When we keep our promises we point to the ultimate Promise Keeper.

Jesus gives another example of how this proves true in our everyday lives.

Let your “yes” be “yes”

Matthew 5:33–37 (NET) 33 “Again, you have heard that it was said to an older generation, ‘Do not break an oath, but fulfill your vows to the Lord.’ 34 But I say to you, do not take oaths at all—not by heaven, because it is the throne of God, 35 not by earth, because it is his footstool, and not by Jerusalem, because it is the city of the great King. 36 Do not take an oath by your head, because you are not able to make one hair white or black. 37 Let your word be ‘Yes, yes’ or ‘No, no.’ More than this is from the evil one.

So, is it wrong to take an oath to tell the truth or sign your name to a document promising to pay? Unless you have the cash, then I’m not sure how to pay for that house or vehicle you intend to buy. And if you must go to court, I’m not sure how your unwillingness to take an oath to tell the truth is going to fly with Judge Browning.

Of course, in order to understand what Jesus is saying, we need to consider His cultural context.

First, Jesus is quoting & noting what the Scriptures say about oaths, when He says, “Do not break an oath, but fulfill your vows to the Lord” found in Lev. 19:12, Num. 30:2, & Deut. 23:21.

Leviticus 19:11–12 (NET) 11 “ ‘You must not steal, you must not tell lies, and you must not deal falsely with your fellow citizen.12 You must not swear falsely in my name [i.e. fulfill your vows to the Lord], so that you do not profane the name of your God. I am the Lord.

In this way the person called on God to witness the truthfulness and invited judgment on the one who violated what he had promised in God’s name.

This issue is NOT about making a promise in God’s name, but making a false promise in God’s name. Jesus is commanding people to fulfill your vows to the Lord. When one swore to God to fulfill a vow, it needed to happen. When one swore to God to fulfill a promise to another person - a spouse, a employer/ee, a family member or friend - it needed to happen.

But by Jesus’ day, the people had come up with elaborate ways to make and break promises without getting in trouble for it, like many politicians in our day. This resulted in a culture that was experiencing a “drought of truth.”

Kent Hughes notes that they were like children saying, “I know I promised, but I had my fingers crossed.”

Instead of swearing falsely in God’s name, they simply took oaths that didn’t involve God’s name. For example, they would call on heaven (often a synonym for God), earth, Jerusalem, or even by their own heads. But Jesus reminds them that all of that belongs to GOD!!!

34 But I say to you, do not take oaths at all—not by heaven, because it is the throne of God,

35 not by earth, because it is his footstool, and not by Jerusalem, because it is the city of the great King. 36 Do not take an oath by your head, because you are not able to make one hair white or black.

William Barclay wrote: “We will regard all promises as sacred if we remember that all promises are made in the presence of God.”

THIS is what followers of Jesus are to recognize when they make a promise - that ALL promises are made in the presence of God.

37 Let your word be ‘Yes, yes’ or ‘No, no.’ More than this is from the evil one.

The evil one is referring to Satan whom Jesus calls “the father of lies.” Jesus says when he lies he is speaking his native language (Jn. 8:44).

Consequently, God hates a lying lips (Prov. 6:16–17, 12:22).

Followers of Jesus are to be known for those who speak the TRUTH. We are not to manipulate others. We are not to make a promise intending to later break a promise.

Our words are to be trustworthy & true.

Of course, the most faithful Promise Keeper, the One who always spoke the truth, stood right in front of those who were listening to this sermon - Jesus - the One in whom we find forgiveness & freedom to walk in purity.

He is more than the interpreter of Scripture. He is the AUTHOR of Scripture. He is the one who CREATED marriage and RESTORES marriages. He is the One who will fulfill His future promises to return & redeem us.

And…

When we keep our promises we point to the ultimate Promise Keeper.