ONENESS

19 And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof.

20 And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.

21 And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;

22 And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.

It cost Adam a major sacrifice to get a wife:

23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.

24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

Now the phrase shall be one flesh occurs almost identically six other times in the bible.

Matthew 19:4-5 (KJV)

4 And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female,

5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?

Matthew 19:6 (KJV)

6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

Mark 10:8 (KJV)

8 And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh.

1 Corinthians 6:16 (KJV)

16 What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh.

Ephesians 5:31

31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

This scripture expounds on this topic even more:

1 Peter 3:7 (KJV)

7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

What does it mean the weaker vessel? It certainly doesn’t fit with a lot of concepts if you understand how God made women.

Generally speaking women live longer than men: so their life engine itself is stronger and not weaker.

Generally speaking women have greater pain tolerance: If men were to have children then the population would be cut severally.

Generally speaking women are usually more intelligent than men, so that is not what the weaker vessel means.

What it means is: They are tender and more in touch with their emotions. Like a vase they are special but tender. They cannot hold much inside without being broken.

Men can contain more of the junkie stuff and store it away for another time to deal with it but if they don’t properly deal with it they become permanently detached.

So looking back on the scripture he is not asking man to pity their poor weak lady but rather men are to treat ladies with respect and understanding and help remove the garbage that the world pours into them each day.

Remember men are commanded to wash their wives with the water of the word.

She is the weaker vessel but you together are heirs of the grace of life. You can’t get it without her and you can’t get it without him.

I hope this teaching causes us to ask ourselves am I one with my mate in every possible way that God intended for us to be one? Do I believe we are one? Do I act like we are one? Do we receive God’s blessings as one?

I God viewed marriage as the key part of His creation that was very good!

In Gen 1:4 after God made the light and the darkness He said: Genesis 1:4 (KJV)

4 And God saw the light, that it was good: and God divided the light from the darkness.

Genesis 1:10 (KJV)

10 And God called the dry land Earth; and the gathering together of the waters called he Seas: and God saw that it was good.

Genesis 1:12 (KJV) day 3

12 And the earth brought forth grass, and herb yielding seed after his kind, and the tree yielding fruit, whose seed was in itself, after his kind: and God saw that it was good.

Genesis 1:18-19 (KJV) day 4

18 And to rule over the day and over the night, and to divide the light from the darkness: and God saw that it was good.

19 And the evening and the morning were the fourth day.

Genesis 1:21 (KJV) day 5

21 And God created great whales, and every living creature that moveth, which the waters brought forth abundantly, after their kind, and every winged fowl after his kind: and God saw that it was good.

Genesis 1:24-25 (KJV) day 6

24 And God said, Let the earth bring forth the living creature after his kind, cattle, and creeping thing, and beast of the earth after his kind: and it was so.

25 And God made the beast of the earth after his kind, and cattle after their kind, and every thing that creepeth upon the earth after his kind: and God saw that it was good.

And really chapter 2 of Genesis could be inserted right here in verses 26-28. It is an expansion of what happened at the end of chapter 1.

And God says: Genesis 2:18 (KJV)

18 And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.

But then in verse 31 of chapter 1 after God made man and after God made woman and after God married them:

Genesis 1:31 (KJV)

31 And God saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was very good. And the evening and the morning were the sixth day.

ILL. A man said after being married I never knew what happiness was until I got married and then it was too late. That is sad.

We are living in a day of individuality. To an extent that is fine but really the individual right movement has breed and individual right epidemic. This attitude I have my rights mentality have separated nations and families and churches and now has crept into the marriage vows. (Pre-nuptial agreement).

Now with all of this emphasis on individual rights how are we going to have oneness? With each creation in the animal kingdom God gave them a companion that played a role in their existence.

ILL For example you will often have two birds building a nest together. You will have both birds protecting their young. You will also have a male and female animal involved in hunting for food.

But God said this is not enough for man. It is alright to have time to do you own thing both he and she but the one thing that a couple should be seeking in marriage is oneness.

And the primary time you have should not be spent with the guys or the girls but should be spent together. Most couples need to set a time in need be to be together. (Date night)

And the one thing that couples should be seeking in marriage is oneness and if it is not their you cannot and will not be happy in your marriage.

I wished I had someone teach or preach this to me 20 years ago. God said it is not good for man to be alone.

The concept of separateness is all around us but when you understand oneness you understand that when a man puts down his wife he is actually putting down himself.

ILL. A woman threw a b-day party for her husband and she said make a wish and he blew out his candles and he opened his eyes and said I didn’t get my wish you are still here.

II God’s plan for marriage was/is oneness

Ephesians 5:31

31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

Some say that is just a spiritual thing but that isn’t true either. This involved man’s whole being. It was a physical thing one flesh but it was also to be an emotional thing. It is also to be a spiritual thing. And after years of practicing oneness they get to where they think alike. (And some of you begin to look like each other).

God created things in his universe to function together in unity.

God caused Adam to fall into a deep sleep and some said it was because God didn’t want or need any advice or help in this area. He knew who He was going to create for Adam.

God took a rib-not a bone from his head as a picture of domineering over her or a bone from his foot to lord over her or step on her. But from his side to be side by side and be one flesh. God made woman with strengths in areas where men were weak and men with strength in area where women were weak.

God made woman to be the heart of the home with strength in the area of emotions. A woman excels in the area of sensitivity and a man that don’t listen to his wife is going to be in trouble.

A man and his wife goes into the same situation and sees things different. She was created to complete him in area he don’t see.

A man was created to be the head of the home. He was made with a speciality of strength in the area of volition the use of the will and the intellect. A man should excel in the area of solving problems and making decisions and taking pressure.

In Gen.2:15- Genesis 2:15 (KJV)

15 And the LORD God took the man, and put him into the garden of Eden to dress it and to keep it.

He was given the responsibility of work and providing.

1 Timothy 5:8

8 But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.

The old concept of the man working and bringing home the bacon and the wife keeping the home and taking care of the children and encouraging her husband in his career is a biblical concept.

And when a man has a career and his wife has a career then they get to the place where they don’t feel like they need one another.

Nobody is denying the fact that a woman can have a career but it is just not the biblical emphasis. The biblical emphasis is on a woman being the keeper of the home and a mother to her children and a wife to her husband. But in our day many plan for failure by planning for self sufficiency.

Here is the principle: any part of your life that damages oneness needs to be examined.

Genesis 2:16-17 (KJV)

16 And the LORD God commanded the man, saying, Of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat:

17 But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die.

So the permission and prohibition and responsibility to teach them to his wife were given to the man.

Man was given a speciality and woman was given a speciality and when you put those two together you get completeness that neither could have without the other.

That is what the term help meet means someone to help him meet completeness.

Genesis 5:2

2 Male and female created he them; and blessed them, and called their name Adam, in the day when they were created.

This is why a woman that truly wants to be one with her husband takes his name. Eve was not named until after the fall and Adam named her not God. God’s ultimate plan was oneness.

Genesis 3:20 (KJV)

20 And Adam called his wife's name Eve; because she was the mother of all living.

1 Peter 3:7

There are some things that cannot be attained by yourself in the home. The grace of life comes only to both and can only be received together.

Grace for trials, sickness, and because you are one you receive the grace of life. It not you and the kids but to the oneness and the beneficiaries are the children.

What if a woman says I have my own goals, and the man says I have my own plans? Then those goals and plans will probably end in failure because the grace of life that is needed to reach those goals can only be given together. What desire do you have that you need God to answer for you. Then you had better be one with your wife. You will either be heirs together or your prayers will be hindered.

Hindered is the same word as the word hewn down when the tree brought not forth fruit. So you dreams and your goals are hewn down because you are not one with your mate.

Your gains are one, your loses are one, lay hold on life together so there can be four hands helping and four shoulders carrying, and four feet walking to receive the grace of life. Four eyes for which to watch for danger. It is a sad thing for a painter that has a spouse that doesn’t like portraits. Or a piano player having a husband that doesn’t like music.

Now there are some I realize that have had a mate leave them or have left your mate. And you wanted to be an heir with your mate but is no longer possible. You must change your focus from any inheritance that you may have lost to an inheritance that you cannot lose.

Romans 8:17 (KJV)

17 And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together.

Put Christ in that empty spot in your life and rejoice in this inheritance you share as you serve with him.

Oneness brings blessing that cannot come any other way. Malachi 2:14 (KJV)

14 Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant.

Companionship. Encouragement, intimacy, protection for each other(a wife can protect her husband), caring for one another, communication.

A wife needs to talk to her husband and a husband needs to listen as bad as a wife need to talk. And if this don’t happen then your life becomes out of balance.

And the greatest blessing is answered prayer.

Enemies of oneness is self-centeredness and selfishness. 5 love languages are acts of love, receiving gifts, quality time, physical touch, and words of affirmation. Love is not a funny, fuzzy, fickle feeling you get. It is I am going to meet your needs in one of these areas.

Enemies of oneness-the divorce attitude. Your marriage is just what you think it is. If you have major problems and you think you have a good marriage then you probably have a good marriage. If you have little things happening and you feel your marriage is awful then it is probably bad.

III. How can we have oneness?

1. Grow together- when God shows you or helps you in the truth of God to grow in some area of life then the other one needs to accept that truth.

There is a symmetrical beauty of things growing together. The trees at the front of the fellowship hall/church.

Work of God and other wants to do something else.

1 John 1:7

7 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.

There has never been anyone that has practice this verse ever ended up divorced.

Walking in the light with God produces fellowship with one another. And sin when it rears its ugly head is dealt with quickly before it can do any damage to our relationship.

A couple that are both walking with God deal with sins and conflict quickly rather than let them fester and create infection in there relationship.

And if you are not right with God you cannot be right with each other. And if you are right with God you will be working to be right with each other. You fellowship with God is you bases and foundation for your fellowship with each other.

2. Die to self- Matthew 16:24 (KJV)

24 Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.

Marriage is some ways is like taking up a cross. What ever burdens I must bear I will bear them for you. What ever needs you have I will sacrifice anything that I must sacrifice to meet it. I am living for you and not for myself.

Philippians 2:3 (KJV)

3 Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.

The big evidence that you have not died to self is when you won’t give in. To die to self is to die to your personal preferences and to having things just like you want them. And unity requires humility and a mind to work.

One day they asked George Muller what the secret to his success. He bowed low and said there was a day I died. I died to George Muller, I died to the world, to its approval, to the approval of friends, and then began to study to show myself approved unto God.

ILL.

Thomas Carlile lives from 1795-1881 he was a great essay writer in his time. During his lifetime he became one of the greatest writers and historian but was also human and humans makes mistakes. On October 17th 1826 at the age 30 Carlile married his secretary Jane Welsh. She was intelligent, attractive and somewhat temperamental daughter of a well to do doctor this writer writes. They had their quarrels and misunderstandings but still loved each other dearly. After their marriage Jane continued to serve as his secretary and after several years of marriage she became ill. Being a hard worker the husband became so absorbed in his writings that he continued to allow his wife to work seeing it was a slow growing cancer. Finally she was confined to her bed and though he loved her dearly he seldom found time to stay with her because of his writings. When his wife died they carried her to the cemetery for the service. It was a miserable day, raining hard the mud was deep. Following the funeral he went back to his home. He was taking it pretty hard. He went up the steps to his wife’s room and sat down in the chair next to her bed. He sat there thinking about how little time he had spent with her and wishing so much that he had a chance to do things differently. Noticing her diary on a table beside the bed he picked it up and began to read it. And he was shocked. There on one page she had written a single line “ yesterday Thomas spent an hour with me and it was like heaven, I love him so.” And it dawned on him something he had never noticed before. He had been to busy to notice that he meant so much to her. He thought of all the times he had went about his work without noticing or thinking about her. He turned to another page of the diary and noticed some words that broke his heart “I have listened all day for Thomas’s steps in the hall but now it is late and I guess he is not coming today.” He read a little more then threw down the book and ran out of the house and his friends found him on his wife’s grave sobbing and his face buried in the mud. And he was repeating these words O DARLING IF I HAD ONLY KNOWN. But it was to late she was gone. After her death he for the next 15 years could write very little and found himself being withdrawn. He found out what he had after he lost it.

How much wiser it is to find out what you have before you lose it.

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