PLAN A - Knowing, Because Disciple Making is Relational

This morning I’d like to share with you some observations from this question Jesus asks that I think will help us live out the second principle of PLAN A, “Knowing Others”.

But before I get to that, let me catch you up on what is happening in case you’ve missed the last couple of weeks. We have started a series called “PLAN A: The Great Commission for Every Christian”.

This series unpacks five principles that we can think about to help us share our faith in our every day life.

The five principles are “Growing, Knowing, Sowing, Rowing and Showing Up”

“Growing as disciples of Jesus”

“Knowing Others”

“Sowing Seeds in Conversation”

“Rowing together”

And “Showing Up and depending on Jesus”

Last week we thought through the principle “Growing as Disciples”

Today we are looking at the second principle of “PLAN A” “knowing”.

“Knowing others, being relational”.

This is the principle where we think about how we form relationships with people who don’t yet know Jesus.

Because if we are going to be disciples who make disciples, then we need to know people who don’t yet know Jesus.

And I think we can learn a lot about how to relate to others from Jesus’ asking for a drink of water.

“Will you give me a drink?”

The first observation is that it’s no accident Jesus is speaking to the Samaritan woman.

He’s intentionally sought out this interaction.

Jesus doesn’t accidentally end up in Samaria.

Jesus doesn’t get lost and finds himself in Samaria.

Jesus doesn’t get kidnapped and taken to Samaria.

John tells us Jesus has to go through Samaria.

He’s intentional about where he is going and why.

John 4:4 Says “ now he had to go through Samaria”.

And this interesting because Jesus didn’t have to go through Samaria at all.

Jesus has been down south in a region called “Judea” and he wants to travel north to a region called “Galilee”.

In the middle of the two is a region called Samaria.

Now many Jews avoided Samaria, they travelled around the region.

They would go to the extent of crossing the Jordan river and going up on the oppossite side and then crossing back into Galilee.

As John points out in v 9 the Jews did not associate with the Samaritans.

The Samaritans as a people group shared a blood line with the Jews, They both go back to having Abraham as their father, but over the centuries and largely as a result of being the victims of conquest the Samaritans had mixed with other peoples and religions, so the Jews considered them half-breeds and apostates.

There is even a history of bloodshed between the Jews and the Samaritans and in Jesus’ day a smouldering tension still existed between the two.

So the Jews avoided the Samaritans wherever possible.

Yet John tells us Jesus “Has to go through Samaria”.

Jesus is intentional about where he goes.

Which leads me to ask: How intentional are we about where we go?

Because if we are hoping to accidentally form relationships with people who don’t know Jesus, it’s unlikely to happen.

Are we following the same old routes around where the people are?

If we aren’t intentional, if we keep following the same old road, we will miss those opportunities to build relationships with people don’t yet know Jesus.

We need to intentionally take the path that will lead us to relationships with people who don’t yet know Jesus.

Because when we stop being intentional, we lose our relationships with people who don’t yet follow Jesus.

There are some statistics which say that it takes five years for a Christian to lose meaningful relationships with non-Christians.

It’s easy to understand why this happens.

You get invovled in the local sports club when you are younger but over time you have a family and get to busy.

You are invovled in the P & C or the tuckshop and then your kids grow up and life moves on and you no longer see those parents from the local school.

But church provides some consistency.

Even if things are changing at work or in your neighbourhood, you see the same people at church every week and over years form close friendships with Christians.

This is a wonderful thing and we want to encourage that.

One of the joys of following Jesus is the community we do life with.

But it does mean if we want to form relationships with people who don’t yet follow Jesus then we need to be intentional about it, because the natural pull of our lives is in towards the church.

They are “our people” those we are most comfortable with.

So keep coming back to this question “do I really know anyone who does’t know Jesus?”

And if the answer is no “how I can be intentional about starting to get to know someone?”

Jesus asked a woman of Samaria “Will you give me a drink?”

The second observation I’d like to make is that Jesus intentionally seeks out people who are different to him.

By going to Samaria Jesus is seeking out people who are ethnically and religiously different to him.

By speaking to a woman Jesus is crossing gender boundaries as well.

In that culture this was a big deal, intentionally engaging with a woman who was not part of his family wasn’t the done thing.

But Jesus is also crossing social class.

Jesus is a rabbi with a following.

We learn that this woman has been married 5 times.

We aren’t sure of the reason, but it seems she’s vulnerable, that she’s been mistreated by men.

And there is something about her being at the well in the middle of the day.

We know in that culture that women came to the well in groups either in the morning or in the evening in the cool of the day.

By coming to the well in the middle of the day on her own, it seems to speak about her social status - she’s an outsider, she doesn’t quite belong.

So Jesus crosses nearly every barrier you can think of in order to speak to the woman at the well.

How do we go at crossing barriers?

How do we go at relating to people who are different to us?

Even taking the gospel to people who might traditionally be our enemy or people we have been warned about.

And as the face of Australia changes, we need to be prepared to do the same thing.

As our work places diversify we need to be willing to connect with people who are different to us.

It’s comfortable to be with people who look like us and think like us, but we need to push ourselves to reach across boundaries.

To be willing to spend time with people who are different to us.

To hear their stories and celebrate their culture.

I recognise that this may be uncomfortable.

We can see in this story that when the disciples return from the village and find Jesus talking to the Samaritan woman they are “surprised”.

I can only imagine it was awkward.

Crossing barriers can make us feel uncomfortable.

When I speak with the Sikh wearing a turban, or engage with a person who obviously has an African heritage, the Hindu vegitarian, the Muslim or someone who is blantantly “different” it can be difficult.

I am more comfortable with those who are like me.

Just this week I spoke at length with a Sikh soldier.

And while I enjoyed the interaction and was there as the senior person providing advice I was also conscious of the differences and the need to be respectful of his faith.

I was in fact able to draw on my knowledge of his beliefs to direct his thinking whilst also drawing on some similarities with Christianity to hopefully expand his understanding.

He being a Sikh actually made it easier for me because they have a great respect for religious teachers.

He wanted to engage with me.

But the fact remains, I have to work a lot harder engaging him than I do with the other men in this church at breakfast on Saturday.

They are my people.

Jesus asked the Samaritian woman, a person who was vulnerable and socially outcast, “Will you give me a drink?”

My third observation is that by asking for help, Jesus is treating the woman with dignity.

Kenneth Bailey is a scholar who lived in the Middle East and he points out that when Jesus asks for help he blesses the woman.

Because in that culture, it’s only the strong who are able to give to others.

Jesus affirms the dignity of the woman he is speaking to, by lifting her up and lowering himself.

How much of our evangelism looks like this?

Being vulnerable?

Looking for the strengths of others to allow them to bless us?

Asking for help?

Being humble?

Being real about our needs?

There is definitely a place in this principle of “knowing others” to bless others - but if we are always the hero, if we are always the one rushing in to fix problems we may actually be making things worse for people.

In genuine relationships, people are vulnerable with each other.

This might actually be the hardest part of “knowing others”, being vulnerable.

But if we are going to build genuine caring relationships with others, we need to be vulnerable.

People come to know Jesus because they first know and trust a Christian.

Do you know how trust is built?

It’s not by us coming in with one big hero move.

Trust is build when people are vulnerable.

Brene Brown is a researcher who studied vulnerability.

She has discovered that building trust takes vulnerability.

And trust is earned in the smallest of deeds repeated time and time again.

Doing small things consistently.

A bit like putting marbles into a jar.

Trust is added one marble at a time over and over again.

But this isn’t some kind of trick, this isn’t a ploy to get her talking.

Jesus isn’t faking needing help.

Jesus has just been on a six hour walk and it’s now noon.

Is Jesus thirsty?

Is Jesus hot?

Probably.

Jesus is in genuine need of her help.

And by making this known and being vulnerable, he opens the door to further conversation and relationship.

So what does it look like for you to ask for a drink?

Our immediate neighbours are singlish women so it is appropriate for Toni to build relationships with them.

But in all three of our previous homes I have built relationships with the men next door.

I have helped them, they have helped me and sometimes the help we have provided to each other has been significant and very much about helping through a time of vulnerability.

Are you willing to build trust by being vulnerable with people?

By letting them serve you and asking them “will you give me a drink?”

Jesus asked a Samaritian woman standing alone at a well “Will you give me a drink?”

The final observation I’d like to make, is that Jesus is looking for the one.

Jesus could have gone into the town with his disciples.

But he stays at the well waiting for the one.

In this principle of “knowing others” we love everyone.

We seek to establish relationships with lots of different people.

But as we love and serve everyone, we look for the one.

We look for the one who is responding in kind.

The one who might be open to hearing more about the living water that Jesus offers.

Now in this case it seems that Jesus almost has some sort of supernatural insight into who he is speaking to.

Sometimes this is called a “Divine Encounter” - and if that happens to you, then go for it.

But generally speaking, looking for the one takes time.

It takes years even.

Years of of being intentionality and being vulnerable and crossing barriers.

And as I’m doing this with a range of people, I’m looking for people who might be interested in hearing more.

When Jesus asks the woman “Will you give me a drink?”

He is letting her choose how this interaction will go.

She could have ignored him if she wanted to.

But she engages.

And she’s willing to talk theology and pushes back with some questions.

And for her this leads to a life changing encounter with Jesus.

We want to be on the look out for people who are willing to engage.

Is there someone who is happy to help you out.

Is there someone interested in having spiritual conversations?

This might be the one you can invite to hear more about Jesus.

Love the many, look for the one.

Is God placing someone on your heart right now?

Missionaries often talk about seeking out the “people of peace”

The person who is willing to help, who seeks out solutions to the missionaries needs and makes things happen for them.

They are usually a person who does not yet know Jesus but in whom God has been working and as they engage the message of the Gospel finds a natural fit.

This is the person who provides the “in” to the community.

Jesus asked “Will you give me a drink?”

“Will you give me a drink?”

A simple question but one that opens doors.

What would it take for you to be able to ask someone this question?

If we are going to live out this principle of “knowing others”

We need to be intentional.

We need to be vulnerable.

We will almost certainly be uncomfortable.

But being willing to do that will lead us to the one.

The one we can invite to get to know Jesus, the one who gives living water.

Brian McLaren wrote in Why did Jesus, Moses, the Buddha and Mohammed Cross the Road?

“Christian mission begins with friendship—not utilitarian friendship, the religious

version of network marketing—but genuine friendship, friendship that translates love

for neighbors in general into knowing, appreciating, liking, and enjoying this or that

neighbor in particular. . . .It's one thing to say you love humanity in general, whatever

their religion; it’s quite another to learn to love this or that specific neighbor with his or