Search Me

Intro

Good morning! We are so glad that you have joined us this morning. My name is Jeff and I am the lead Pastor here at Generations Church. This week my wife Jennifer and I along with our two oldest boys were at a Pastors Conference in Grapevine, Texas. And before we left I had gotten my sermon done, my notes and slides made, and I was ready to go for today.

When I came into the office yesterday I knew the Lord wanted to move in a different direction. And so for you mac users I hit command A and selected my entire message, and as painful as it was, I hit delete and started from scratch because I sensed the Lord wanted to move us in a different direction.

This morning we are starting a three week series entitled “Dangerous Prayers” and I really believe that the next three weeks will be life changing for you if you not only listen but apply the truths we study from the Word of God.

As I look back over my relationship with God over the past 40 years there are maybe three or four different messages that I remember when I heard them everything changed. When I heard that one message and was in God's presence, my life really took a different direction. One of those came three years ago at C3 the conference we just returned from.

I really believe that for a significant portion of you, one of the next three weeks has the potential to be a pivotal message, where you hear from God in a way that it impacts your life, and the trajectory of your life actually changes for the better.

What we're going to do is we're really going to start praying three new prayers, and I want to warn you, these are not easy prayers. These are not safe prayers. These are not benign prayers. We're calling them dangerous prayers, but they're dangerous in a good way. In fact, if you ask my opinion, most people I know in this part of the world, our prayers are way too safe. What do we often pray for? God bless us. Keep us Safe? God help us. Good, but safe? God protect us as we travel. Lord, give me a good parking spot, Lord help the Hawkeyes win.... safe, right?

What I want to do is I want to arm you with some prayers that are not safe to pray. In fact, just know going into them, that when you pray these prayers, you're really asking God to do something that will often take you out of your comfort zone. For some of you, next week will be one of those anchor messages. We're going to talk about a very dangerous prayer, where we ask God to break us, break me, God. If you want to pray a dangerous prayer, you ask God to break you. That's the last thing any of us want, but, on the other side of brokenness, is a real intimacy with God and a dependence on him that you cannot get to any other way but through brokenness.

Week number three, for some of you this will be it. It will change the direction of your life. We're going to pray send me. In other words, instead of saying, "God, I'll do what I want to do for you," we're going to say, "God, I'm signing a blank contract. Basically whatever, whenever, however, God, I'm available to you. Whatever you want to do, my life is yours. You send me."

Today, we're going to start with an equally dangerous prayer, and we're going to look at a prayer that David prayed in Psalm 139. David prayed this after his enemies and God's enemies were on the attack, and accusing David of having wrong motives. Instead of saying, "No, no, no," and defending himself, which is uaually our first reaction... he actually prayed a very dangerous prayer before God, asked God to search his heart. Psalm 139 will introduce our dangerous prayer for the day.

This is what David prayed, a very dangerous prayer. And I want us to not just read this out-loud but I want us to make it our prayer as well. So

Psalm 139:23–24 (CSB)

23 Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my concerns. 24 See if there is any offensive way in me; lead me in the everlasting way.

In order to digest this, what I want to do is break this prayer down into four sub-parts, and we'll talk through each of these, and this will arm and equip you to make this prayer a regular part of your prayer life.

The first thing that David prays is this: Number one, he prays,

1. "Search my heart."

That word Search in the original Hebrew is “Hacar” and it’s really an in depth word. It implies something so much deeper than searching as we think of it....it means to penetrate to the very soul, in order to examine and investigate. He’s asking God to investigate every area of his life, not just his actions, but his mind, his thoughts, his words, his very intentions.

And then he says “Know my heart”. And this isn’t just a knowledge of his heart, like I know such and such about you. It’s so much deeper…it’s the Hebrew word “ya - dal” which means to know in such a depth that you can reveal it to me and help me learn who I really am. It’s such a deep knowing that unless God reveals it to you it cannot even be known.

David is praying and asking God to not just know Him in a way that only God can know Him but He is asking God to reveal anything in His heart or life that only God knows about Him and only God can reveal to Him.

For some of you, you may look at that and go, "Now, why would we ask God to search our heart. He knows it, and I've got a good heart anyway." You've got a good heart, and I've got a good heart. We‘ve got good hearts, right?

Not so fast…the reality is that we need to understand that without Christ, we do not have a good heart. It's a very common saying. "Well, she's got a good heart." Actually, she's got a wicked heart, if you want to be completely accurate.

Jeremiah 17:9 (CSB)

9 The heart is more deceitful than anything else, and incurable—who can understand it?

What we need to understand is that without Christ, our heart is not a good heart, that we deceive others and we deceive ourselves. In fact, we're all liars. How many of you are liars? Raise your hands. Raise them up. Leave them up for a second. Leave them up, if you will. Leave them up. Look at everybody's hands not up in the air. Just stare at them for a moment. Just go ahead and say it, "Liar, liar, pants on fire." We're all liars. We lie.

I'm going to argue that often the most common lie that we tell is to ourselves. We lie to ourselves. I'm only going to have one drink. Or I'm not full of pride. I can't help it if I'm better than anybody else. I'm not full of pride. I don't lust. I don't lust at all. I just appreciate a nice, fine physique. I'm not materialistic. I just need nice things.

How about this one. “I'm not a gossip. I never gossip. I'm just telling people so they can pray for all these people who are doing bad things." No…we constantly lie to ourselves about so many things. You may hear someone say “I think really most people are basically good...” NO!!!!! The Bible says that our hearts are wicked…we are not good…apart from Christ.

When you pray, "Search my heart," it's a dangerous prayer, because God is going to show you things in your heart that are not pure. Not to be cruel, but to bring you into deeper intimacy with Him as his Holy Spirit transforms you to be conformed to the image of Christ. That’s part of what we talked about last week right? We talked about Sanctification and How God sanctifies us or makes us more like Him. The more we read the Word of God, the more we pray and ask Him to reveal our sin, the more we become more like Him. It's a dangerous prayer, you need to understand, but it's one that can make you so much closer to God.

David first prayed "Search my heart." The second thing he prays essentially, is

2. "Reveal my fears.”

Psalm 139:23 (CSB)

23 Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my concerns.

Concern in the original Hebrew is the word śareʿappeem, which means disturbing, disquieting, troubling anxiety ridden anxious thoughts of fear. Some versions translate it fear, but it’s really like fear on steroids!

He’s saying Lord know my anxious thoughts. What is it that makes you anxious? "Know my anxious thoughts." A lot of times, we don't even acknowledge them. We just think, "Well, everybody has to worry about this." What is that makes you afraid? I'm not talking about snakes and spiders and the boogie man.

What is it that internally makes you afraid? What is that makes you anxious? Afraid of losing your job? Afraid of not getting married by such and such age? Afraid of being stuck in the marriage that you're in and it not getting any better? Afraid of the future, the unknown? Afraid of failing? Some people are afraid of succeeding. Afraid of loss? What if I lose somebody? What if I lose something that I value so dearly?

Why does this matter? Why would we say, "God, show me my anxious thoughts?" I would argue because of this ... If you're taking notes, you can jot this down. Because what we fear the most reveals where we trust God the least.

Think about that. What we fear the most reveals where we trust God the least. If I'm scared to death that my marriage isn't going to work, well, I'm not trusting God with my marriage. If I'm afraid that I'm not going to be able to pay the bills, I'm not trusting God to be my provider. If I'm afraid that ... I got to keep my children safe. I'm not trusting my children to God. What you fear the most reveals where you trust God the least.

Fear this is a real issue for me. Because in the church and in my role, I cannot be driven by fear. I have to be lead by faith. Without faith, it's impossible to please God, and there are some things that I really believe God wants our church to do, but there's no guarantees it's always going to work. Often our fears will keep us from being obedient. That’s why it’s so important to be in the Word of God and to memorize scripture. When I am full of fear I immediately go in my mind to verses that combat fear, and so what am I doing? I'm quoting scripture to renew my mind. "Perfect love, casts out all fear." or “God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”

I just beg you to pray this prayer, "Search my heart, oh God. Test me, and know my anxious thoughts." Why does what you fear matter? What you fear the most reveals where you trust God the least, and suddenly, you recognize in this one area, I'm really not trusting God, and, suddenly, as you start to do that you get down to the root of it, and then God's word can speak to the root of the problem, and that can become an anchor moment, when, suddenly, you say, "No, I will take that step of faith," or, "I will do what God is calling me to do." It's a dangerous prayer.

When you pray this, God will reveal things to you about yourself that you may not have been willing to acknowledge for years and years and years, because the most common lie we tell is often to ourselves. That's an issue for me. I've got this. I'm fine.

So we pray first "Search my heart, God. second we pray Reveal my fears."

Then number three, and this is where it gets even a little more difficult,

3. Uncover my sins.

Uncover my sins, God. This is what David prays. I love the courage it takes to pray this dangerous prayer. verse 24

Psalm 139:24 (CSB)

24 See if there is any offensive way in me; lead me in the everlasting way.

He prays, "God, see if there is any offensive way in me. Show me, God, anything about my life that is inconsistent with your truth. God, show me anything that I'm doing that's displeasing to you. See if there is any offensive wicked way in me," because have you noticed, it's really difficult to see our sins in the mirror? Oh, it's so easy to find everybody else's. It’s so easy to look around and point out everyone else’s sins. Can you believe she would wear that? Can you believe he said that? I can’t believe they went there....But Me, oh, no. No, no. Bless Jesus, I am holy."

Have you noticed that? We tend to accuse others, and what do we do with ourselves? Excuse ourselves. "I just have to do it. This is how I get through. It's not that big a deal. It's none of your business. Judge not least you be judged."

It's so easy to see everybody else's sins, but not our own.

Why? Because the heart is deceitful above all things. The most common lies are the ones that we tell ourselves. That's why it takes tremendous courage to say, "Search my heart, God. Test me. Know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me," and this can be one of the most game changing prayers you ever pray, when you give God permission to point out any sin that's dwelling within your heart.

I want to give you three questions that are really helpful to ask yourself as you're praying, "Uncover my sins." Three questions that really help you with self-awareness.

The first question to ask is

What are others trying to tell me?

What are other people trying to tell me. In other words, if you've had three or four people tell you they love you, "I think you might have a problem with this. This is an issue. I'm a little bit concerned about you here." If you've got consistently people that love you tell you that, that might be something you want to pay a little close attention to. There is a common denominator here, and it is you. Pay attention to that.

The second question is this: Ask yourself

What have I rationalized for some time? What have I rationalized?

In other words, "Yeah, this may not be right, but it's not that big of a deal, and this is just how I deal with things. This is how I cope. It's nobody else's business anyway. This isn't really hurting anybody. This is my one thing," or whatever. What do you rationalize? "I'm going to quit. It's not that big of a deal."

Then the third thing is this:

Where am I most defensive? Where am I most defensive?

"No, we're not going there. No, we're not talking about that. No, don't you judge me. No, no. I don't have a problem with that. No, back off. I told you we're not talking about that." Where are you most defensive?

When you have the courage to pray this prayer, "See if there is any offensive way in me," let me make you a promise. God will point some things out. God will point some things out that you've been trying to explain away for a long time. God will point some things out that you're trying to deny. Do not deny the truth. You need to know that simply denying the truth does not make truth false. Submit yourself to what God is trying to show you, and then what do we do, is we have the courage when God shows us something, to bring it to light. There's different types of confession. We confess to God for forgiveness, and we confess to people for healing. We confess to God for forgiveness. Scripture says if we confess our sins to God, He is faithful and just to forgive our sin, and cleanse us from all unrighteousness, but we, also, confess to people. Confess your sins to one another, and pray for each other that you might be healed. We confess to God for forgiveness, but we confess to people for healing.

This is why we are working hard at putting life groups together! They're absolutely vital because we need to come together as a part of the community of God, and we say, "I need help here. Would you hold me accountable? Would you pray for me? God is showing me this. God is showing me that," and, suddenly, we recognize, "He's not perfect, and she's not perfect, and, therefore, I can show my imperfections." By the way, if you are perfect, this is the wrong church for you. This is a place where imperfect people are being transformed by a perfect God, and we just open up about our faults to one another, and we recognize we're all in process.

I've battled with living for the approval of people most of my life, instead of simply living for the approval of God. How's that for disturbing? How's that for honest? A battle, living for the approval of people, instead of living for the approval of God. That's not encouraging for anybody, especially when you're a pastor.

What does that do? That points me to my need for Jesus. That points me to my need for His grace. That points me to knowing that my identity must be in Him, and not in what people think. What our need does is it always points us to the area where we must call on and learn to depend on Christ, whatever he shows you.

Maybe your battling addiction......"you won't admit it, but your addicted." Listen, you need His power to overcome your addiction.

Maybe it’s pride... You need His power to be humbled and to depend on him.

Maybe you’ve got a lust issue, and it's out of control and you need His truth to renew your mind, and transform your heart.

Maybe you're materialistic and your in love with the things of this world. You need to fall so in love with Him, that this world is not your home, but heaven is your home.

Whatever He shows you, it always points directly to your need for Christ.

This is a dangerous prayer. It takes courage to pray it, because when you pray it, He'll show you some things about yourself that you're not real proud of, but there's always grace. There's always grace.

Then David, at the very end, what did he pray? He prays, number four,

4. "Lead me. Lead me." When you show me what I don't like about myself, and show me what needs to be changed, now you lead me in the way of everlasting.

Verse twenty-four, he says this,

Psalm 139:24 (CSB)

24 See if there is any offensive way in me; lead me in the everlasting way.

When you have the courage to pray this prayer you are saying "Search me, God. You have permission to look deep into the depths of my deceitful heart, and show me, God, test me. Reveal to me my anxious thoughts. Show me the very places that I fear the most, because that shows me where I trust you the least. See if there's any offensive way in me. No, I'm not pointing a finger at anybody, God. I'm letting you reveal to me what I need to hear."

It points us to our direct need for Christ. "Jesus, I need your help. Jesus, I need your power. Jesus, I need your grace. Jesus, I need your freedom," so, for me, Jesus, my identity must be completely in you, because I refuse to perform for people. I only, God, want to live for you. Help me to live for an audience of one, by knowing so much who I am in Christ, that my security is in Him and Him alone.

When you pray this prayer, it will show you your need, and you take that need directly to Christ, and you let Christ meet that need and conform you to his image. It's a dangerous prayer, but it's a prayer that can transform your life.

I want us to read this verse as we close our time together and I want us to give permission to the Lord. Say this out loud with me.

Lord, I give you Permission!

Psalm 139:23–24 (CSB)

23 Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my concerns. 24 See if there is any offensive way in me; lead me in the everlasting way.