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Now our text in Ephesians 5 and 6 sums up what Scripture says about God’s plan for the family, God’s plan for the fulfilled family.
We have already studied what God designed for the wife who is called to humbly subject herself in love to her own husband and make him and her children and her home the center and really circumference of her life.
We have also studied the divine pattern for the husband who is called to loving headship in which he cares for, provides for, sacrifices for, protects, purifies and loses himself in giving everything for his wife.
And now we come to the children’s responsibility and what must be indoctrinated in them.
And it says there in the verses we read that they are to obey their parents, verse 1. Verse 2, they are to honor their parents.
Obedience and honor, obedience and respect is their responsibility.
Obey =
Listen to, obey, respond, answer, follow, be subject to.
The Child
Two commands given to those still under their parent’s care in these verses.
• Verse 1, children are commanded to “obey your parents”.
• In Verse 2, children are commanded to “honor your father and mother”.
Obey Your Parents
God’s first command to “children” is to “obey your parents”.
The word translated “children” does not refer just to young children but to all offspring.
Sons and daughters still under their parents’ roof are to obey and honor them.
Obedience has to do with action, and honor has to do with attitude.
Although, as Paul has just mentioned, men and women are no longer under the authority of their parents once they themselves marry, Eph.
5:31, special respect and concern for their parents should continue as long as they live.
The child who is brought up to obey and honor his parents will always be sensitive to their wisdom, counsel, and welfare.
The word translated “obey” means “to hear under.”
It is a picture of children who submit themselves to the will of their parents by obeying them in all things.
It means that you listen to them.
You follow their directions.
You do what they tell you to do.
Children are to obey their parents.
There is something within that just doesn’t want to do that.
We are born with a black drop of rebellion in our hearts.
By nature we don’t want to obey.
You can tell your child not to do something.
They may never have even thought about doing what you told them not to do, but as soon as you tell them not to do it, there arises something in their hearts that makes them want to do exactly that.
If you tell them not to touch that vase on the table, they will look at that vase as they have never seen it before.
The moment you tell them not to touch that vase, there is something inside of them that will make them want to touch that vase.
There is something naturally in us which wants to rebel when we are told to obey.
Children, the Bible says to “obey your parents”.
There are two reasons give in verse 1 that tell children why they are to “obey”.
Obedience is Spiritual
Ephesians 6:1 (KJV 1900)
1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.
The Bible says, “in the Lord.”
When a child obeys their parents, it is a way of serving the Lord.
Obedience to ones parents honors the Lord.
The phrase “in the Lord” also implies that there is a limit on what parents can command children to do.
No child should have to do what their parents tells them to do, if what they are commanded to do violates the commands of the Lord.
The commandments of the Lord always come first.
This phrase also reminds us that parents stand in the gap between children and God while the children are too young to have a full and mature relationship with God themselves.
Parents are God’s stewards, His proxy authority, for their children, who are simply loaned to them in trust by their heavenly Father.
That is why children are commanded,
The only exception to that obedience is in the matter of doing what is wrong.
Every believer should refuse to do anything that is clearly against God’s will as taught in Scripture.
Otherwise, however, a child is to obey his or her parents “in all things.”
Obedience is Ethical
Ephesians 6:1 (KJV 1900)
1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.
It is the ethical thing to do.
“For this is right.”
Obedience to parents is simply the right thing to do.
It is far too common to see children talking back to their parents; rolling their eyes when they are told to do something; or pitching a fit when they don’t get their way.
There is nothing pleasing or honorable about that kind of behavior.
It dishonors the Lord.
It dishonors the parents.
It dishonors the child.
The greatest example of obedience to parents in the Bible is the Lord Jesus Christ.
When Jesus came back down from the temple at the age of 12, the Bible says in
Jesus Christ, the Son of God, the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, was subject to Mary and Joseph!
Think about that!
What a thought!
Here is the Son of God; the Lord of Glory; the Creator of the universe.
Yet, He came down and was obedient and subjected Himself to a carpenter and his wife.
If the Lord Jesus Christ was obedient to His parents, the Bible teaches we should be obedient to our parents as well.
Respect for parents is of such importance to God that Moses commanded,
Exodus 21:15 (KJV 1900)
15 And he that smiteth his father, or his mother, shall be surely put to death.
and
Exodus 21:17 (KJV 1900)
17 And he that curseth his father, or his mother, shall surely be put to death.
To either physically or verbally abuse a parent was a capital offense in ancient Israel.
Apparently this is a serious matter to the Lord.
Since that is the case, perhaps we should take it seriously too.
Honor Your Parents
The word “honor” carries the idea of “value”.
It means that children are “to respect them; to value them; to hold them in high regard”.
There is nothing more ugly, nothing more displeasing, and nothing more obnoxious than a child who is disrespectful to his parents.
Honor your father and mother.
You say, “You don’t know my parents, they aren’t worthy of my honor.”
There may be times when you are ashamed of your parents.
There may be times when they embarrass you.
There may be times when you don’t want to do what they say.
The best thing you can do, regardless of how they may act from time to time is to honor your parents.
God will bless you because of it.
As I said, the greatest example of a child honor a parent is the Lord Jesus.
When He was dying on the cross of Calvary the Lord Jesus paused long enough to take care of His precious mother Mary.
Children go through four stages in their relationship to their parents.
- First, you idolize your parents.
There is nothing they can’t do.
They are perfect in your eyes.
- Second, you demonize your parents.
You come to see that they aren’t as perfect as you thought they were.
They are the source of every problem.
They are the reason for every difficulty you experience.
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