Introduction to Complementrianism

Introduction

The average Christian is not unaware of the cultural struggle that we face today in society and now even in churches. We now have to deal with issues of Fourth Wave Feminism, Transgenderism, Homosexuality. All of these cultural trends are making their way into the churches and we cannot remain silent on about them. But it really isn’t a new phenomenon. This battle has been fought in the church at least since the 1970’s. Feminism which had its place in the beginning as it granted women the right to vote, better wages and better treatment in the workplace, continually grabbed for more over time. Historically, we recognize four different movements of Feminism which extended rights to abortion, fought for more civil rights and now fights for transgenderism. In the 1970’s a group of biblical feminists began to make an inroad into the church and so the church became split on the roles of Men and Women in society and the church.

Today, three camps have emerged within theology relating to gender roles: patriarchalism, complementarianism and egalitarianism. As we deal with the home, marriage, dating and relationships this year; it will help us to lay a ground work for what God’s expectations are in the way the home is structured. Before we delve into the specifics, I want to give you a definition of the three terms I have used and explain how they relate to what we are talking about.

A. Patriarchalism- patriarchy has a scientific definition that just means the father is the head of the home, but feminism has turned this word into an oppression of women in all of society. There actually is a group of Christians who embrace this title and in many ways embody what the world does not like about the patriarchy. Patriarchalism is prevalent in the Reformed Evangelical Protestant tradition and is espoused by the Duggar family, RC Sproul, Doug Wilson and Voddie Bauchum. While there is some variety among the group patriarchalism generally teaches that the father is the head of the home and the wife’s place is only in the home. By design women are inferior to men because they cannot be trusted with decision making so this authority of the men is extended to society in general. It differs from Complementarianism:

women cannot hold positions of authority in secular society (Not all hold this position, but it is the standard position)

women should not vote

women should not seek higher education

unmarried women are under their father’s authority until they marry or he dies.

some churches with this view practice household voting so only fathers of the home can vote on behalf of the family in the church

some go so far as to say that women can not talk about biblical topics unless it is related to the home and women must always agree to what their husband says

B. Complementarianism- The basic idea of complementarianism is that men and women are equal yet different. This view which is the view I hold teaches that God made men and women different, equal in value but with distinct roles within the home and the church. Complementarians do not extend this to all of society. All of these terms are new terms that try to encapsulate what we think the bible actually teaches. Back in 1987 a group of pastors and theologians got together and drafted what was called the Danvers statement which was the foundation for the Counsel on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood. At this conference, the term complementarianism was chosen to show that men and women are equal but complementary to each other. Complementary means

Something that completes or makes perfect; either of two parts or things needed to complete the whole; counterparts.

As we get into the bulk of the message I will lay a biblical foundation for this understanding of the roles of men and women. Complementarianism puts an emphasis on the equality of women as image bearers of God, given the command to express dominion over the earth and as children of God within the faith. Women in general are not subservient to men and less than men. They are equal yet they have a different role to fill in the home and in the church. The important piece here is to understand that in the home and in the church she is voluntarily placing herself into these relationships. She is not being oppressed. Complementarianism should never condone oppression, misogyny, sexism and abuse.

Since we will spend the rest of our time on this position, we will move on to the next one.

C. Egalitarianism- this view holds that men and women are equal and that equality must mean interchangeability. Whatever a man can do a woman must be able to do for them to be truly equal. Egalitarians look to passages like Gal 3:28 “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.” and Eph 5:21 “Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.” which seems to be teaching mutual submission. To the egalitarian, gender roles were a result of the fall and within Christendom these things should be abolished. The end results of egalitarianism:

men and women should be able to switch and swap roles in the home depending on their desires or needs.

women should be able to hold any roles of authority that they want to

women should be allowed to be pastors and teachers within the church

In our cultural, egalitarianism seems to be the way to go. This is how society operates and so we should model the home and the church be secular societal structures. Anything less after all is oppressive to women. People who hold this view do have bible verses to support their view, so don’t be deceived into thinking we shouldn’t take it seriously. The problem is that the bible verses are either taken out of context, redefined or made to mean something the text did not intend for it to say in the first place.

For the rest of the message I would like to lay a biblical foundation for a complementation view of gender roles.

I. Equal in value

Gen 1:26-27 “And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth. So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.” is going to be a key verse in our discussion today and I will be going into more detail about it in our next message on Marriage before the Fall. For now I just want to focus on one thought from this verse: Men and women are both created in the image of God. Notice in vs 26, it says let us make man in our image. We might be tempted to jump the gun and assume that man refers only to male, but notice the next phrases and let them. What God meant by the usage of man in this verse was not limited to the male half of the species. God used this term to refer to mankind. Women are not monkeys, birds, or some other type of creature, they are humans which have the distinct honor of being created in the image of God. Both men and women share this honor. It also says in vs 27, in the image of God created he them, male and female created he them. Both male and female share in being created in the image of God. Women are not created as a lesser being secondary to men.

Gal 3:28 “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.” The Egalitarians are right to point out this verse because it is important, but they have taken this verse to mean something Paul did not intend to say. What Paul is teaching in this verse is that Jew, Gentile, bond and free, men and women are equal in status because of their relationship in Christ. We all have equal value to God, equal access to God, equal potential for relationship with God, can all equally worship God. But Paul is not arguing that distinctions disappear altogether. Slaves were still slaves in society. Men are still men, and women are still women. We don’t become androgynous. The point is that all have equal relationship and access to God. Everything here must apply to all Christian. The “oneness” here does not transfer over to roles since 1 Cor 12:13 “For by one Spirit are we all baptized into one body, whether we be Jews or Gentiles, whether we be bond or free; and have been all made to drink into one Spirit.” speaking of our position in the body of Christ teaches that we are all one using the same langauge as Gal 3:28, but Paul goes on to say that not all have the same spiritual gifts. They all have differing roles to play.

We also see this distinction in the fact that Jesus as the Son is “one” with the father and yet submitted Himself while on earth to his father. John10:30 “I and my Father are one.” and in John 8:29 “And he that sent me is with me: the Father hath not left me alone; for I do always those things that please him.” Jesus being “one” took on a role of submission to His father and it did not make Him less than His father.

II. Distinct Gender differences

Back to Gen 1:27 “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.” Not only are men and women both made in the image of God, men and women are made differently. God created them male and female. There is a biblical, God-ordained distinction between a man and a woman. We know this to be true obviously physically. There is a difference that God has made between boys and girls at birth. This distinction is not just a matter of body parts which the world tries to remove and remold. This distinction goes down to the chromosomal levels. Chromosomal abnormalities do not erase this distinction, rather they highlight the effects of the fall on all of us physically. Men have an XY chromosome while women have XX chromosome. God has embedded this distinction into our very makeup as human beings.

This distinction impacts our makeup as well. I speak here in generalities because there are always exceptions due to cultural upbringing, and hormonal issues, but men and women act and relate differently. Exceptions do not make the general rule go away. Shaunti Feldham in the book she coauthored with her husband For Men Only states that “women deal with multiple thoughts and emotions from their past and present all the time at the same time and these can’t be easily dismissed.” while men tend to be able to shut down the other thoughts to focus on the task at hand. Women generally have a strong desire for security and men feel the weight of being that provider and protector even when everything is alright. Love for a woman often means intimacy and sharing of feelings while for a man a big factor in feeling loved is respect.

The world recognizes these differences accept when it gets in the way of their political or cultural movements. Then they just deny them. Really the transgender activists are the ones denying the science. But in the beginning, God made a distinction between men and women.

III. Different roles in the home

Complementarians limit the distinction in roles to the home and the church because these are the only realms where the bible clearly states this distinction in role. When you look at the bible, you must not make the mistake of assuming that what was culturally practiced in the OT was what God commanded to be done. But the bible is clear on roles in the home: the key passage to go to for this point is Ephesians 5:21-33 “Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joi…”

Verses like this and those found in 1 Cor 11 teach that the husband is the head of the home. This is a position of authority and leadership within the home. Egalitarians will say that head doesn’t mean authority rather it means source like the head of a river. From this they teach that women were created out of men so men are their source. This is not how this word was used in secular Greek let alone in the bible. It also ignores the command to submit to your own husband. Submission is a choice to place yourself under the authority of another. So while husbands and wives are equal partners within the home seeking to glorify God in their family, someone has to make the final decision and that role has been given to the husband. Notice this isn’t just a role of authority, it is a role of responsibility. As christ presents the church without spot and blemish, the husband will have to present his wife and home to God. He will have to give an account.

Biblical authority is not oppression. Notice in this text, he is to lead in love. There is a tenderness and care involved in the way that he leads. We know that this love is more than just feelings though it is a sacrificial love. The husband is to give of himself for his wife just like Christ gave himself for the church. We should sacrifice even die for our wives if necessary. This is a call to lay aside selfishness in our leadership. The husband is also to lead by seeking the good of his wife. He is to present her holy and without blemish. Definitely a command against abuse. Then he is also to lead by nourishing and cherishing her. Under this kind of a husband, submission is not hard at all.

According to the grammar of Eph 5:33 “Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.” her respect is actually a direct result of his love. Submission is her responsibility but respect comes from him loving her the way he should be loving her. This is how things ought to be in the Christian home.

Titus 2:5 “To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.” teaches that the wife’s primary role is as a keeper of the home. She has a responsibility to her home and her children that supersedes all others. However, this does not mean that she cannot work outside the home. Take the example of Proverbs 31 where she is a merchant with ships bringing in her goods. But all this other stuff should not be to the neglecting of the home.

IV. Different roles in the church

Complementarianism also teaches that there are distinct roles reserved for the men in the church. The key verse here is 1 Tim 2:11-15 “Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.” This command is given within the confines of the church. Some have taken it to mean that women can’t teach children or women can’t ask questions, or pray or praise in Church but that is not the meaning of this passage. This passage forbids women to preach/teach in the general congregation to both men and women. Paul’s issue was that in women being allowed to pastor they would be usurping authority over their husbands. I have seen this in Pentecostal churches, where women become the spiritual leaders within their homes. Paul is trying to encourage men to be spiritual leaders and the role of teaching to the entire congregation is limited to the men. There are a lot of exceptions and questions that would need to be brought up to fully deal with this topic and this is just an introduction to complementarianism. At some point I will teach a series through Men and Women in Ministry.

But at the very least this passage limits the authority to preach to the united congregation to men. Paul bases his argument on two pieces of evidence:

creation- man was created first. In marriage, God set up the husband as the head even way back at creation.

deception- Paul also bases his argument on the fact that Eve was deceived.

The other side to this discussion is the fact that every believer in the church has been gifted spiritual gifts which they are responsible to use to the glory of God. This includes women. Some women may have the gift of teaching and even preaching. There is a place for that and this prohibition only forbids preaching to a mixed congregation and assuming authority over the men in the church.

Conclusion:

This message is not intended to be an indepth study of any of these issues, but it does get us a good dose of an introduction to the topic. Our focus moving forward will be on roles in marriage as we look next week at Marriage before the Fall and then the week after Marriage after the Fall. Does the fall into sin make a difference in how a marriage should be structured? But here is the application:

Men, are you being the leader that God has called you to be? Many men don’t want to deal with the conflict or they are just too lazy so they let their wives become the defacto leaders in the home. You should be the one’s leading your family spiritually, developmentally, financially. This doesn’t mean you don’t do it with your wife, but in the end you are responsible for all of it. But the second part to this is the question Are you leading your homes the way God commands you to? Many other men want the authority, they see these texts and they jump on that bandwagon and so now they lead with an iron fist. Its my way or the highway. That is not how God commanded you to lead. Go back and read those passages again. You are to lead in the way that Christ leads His Church.

Women, are you letting you husband lead? Many men today are afraid to lead because culture has told us masculinity is wrong. Encourage your husband to take the lead. Don’t rip it from his hands when he seems to be making a mistake. Pray for him and support him. Now there is obviously an exception to all of this unless he is leading you and the family into sin. We must obey God first. But as a wife are you submitting to your husband? Submission implies you don’t already agree with his decision. Submission is a choice to follow his lead. Are you willing to take the role that God has given you in the home or do you chafe underneath it?

The bible is pretty clear on these issues, but the world doesn’t want to hear about it because they want to do what they want to do. One of the condemnations of Israel during the time of the judges was that every man did that which was right in his own eyes. This is a matter of submission not just to our husband or wife, but to God Himself.

So here is what I am calling us to tonight: Let’s have a revival of men being men and women being women in the roles that God has called them to.