Lust - Adultery of the Heart

Recap

Jesus to fulfill the Law

Righteousness greater than the Pharisees and scribes (in kind not level)

Jesus came to deal with our hearts

Lust

You’ve heard my story so many times I feel like I’ve preached this sermon 20 times over the last 8-1/2 years

Tonight we will take a fresh clear look at what it means to commit adultery with our hearts.

Remember, Jesus is walking his disciples through the Law and the heart of the Law as a multitude listens on.

Matthew 5:27–28 ESV

27 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ 28 But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

Again, Jesus is pointing out that the sin of adultery is so much more than carrying out a physical act with another person. Sin starts way before the clothes come off. It starts in the heart.

Jesus explains that it is possible to commit adultery in our heart — or mind, and this also is sin and prohibited by the command against adultery.

Lust (adultery of the heart) starts with the eyes Job 31:1

Job 31:1 ESV

1 “I have made a covenant with my eyes; how then could I gaze at a virgin?

However, it is important to understand that Jesus is not saying that the act of adultery and adultery in the heart are the same thing. More than a few people have been deceived on this point and say, “I’ve already committed adultery in my heart, so I may as well do it in practice.” The act of adultery is far worse than adultery in the heart. Jesus’ point is not to say they are the same things, but to say they are both sin, and both prohibited by the command against adultery.

1 Corinthians 6:16–20 ESV

16 Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, “The two will become one flesh.” 17 But he who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him. 18 Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. 19 Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, 20 for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

There is a bonding of the body that makes a man or woman ONE with someone they have sexual relations with. It’s a bond that we are only meant to share with one person and that’s our spouse, inside the protective walls of marriage. That bond that is formed when sexual relations are experienced outside of marriage takes years to overcome just in the emotional and spiritual strongholds alone, let alone the years it takes to rebuild trust and fidelity in marriage.

Our bodies, if we are believers, are temples of the Holy Spirit and we’ve been bought with a price so we should glorify God with what we do with our bodies.

At the same time Lust (adultery of the Mind) is not as bad because it lacks in the physical and emotional bond, it is still no less destructive to the individual.

Ruts in the Road

Ruts and Uncle Brad

Neural Pathways of Pornography - The Bible and the Brain - Covenant Eyes

We were designed to say, “My spouse is attractive to me. When I bond with my spouse it captures my complete attention. When we touch, I feel aroused, cared for, loved, and I enjoy a spiritual connection. I feel not only a physical rush but also a deep bond with my spouse and sexual satisfaction. This person is part of me. Let’s do that again soon.”

Pornography hijacks this sex drive that God created, and we neurologically “bond” to images rather than our spouse.

In a simple scenario, the brains says, “I saw porn, I masturbated, it felt good. In the future, let’s do it again.” Mix in the anxiety of using the forbidden, the fear of being caught, and the secrecy of repetition, and the brain learns even more and gets powerful cocktails of signals and hormones that ensure future cravings. But with each experience, the brain decreases the neuro-chemical response so that more porn or more intense porn is required to reach the same level of arousal.

Put simply: sin is habit-forming. The motto of forbidden pleasures is the same today as it was in Solomon’s day: “Stolen water is sweet; food eaten in secret is delicious!” (Proverbs 9:17). And it all starts in the mind. The apostle Paul says those who live according to the sinful nature “have their minds set on what that flesh desires” (Romans 8:5).

According to Barna Research, 68% of church-going men and more than 50% of pastors regularly view porn. And when it comes to Christians 18-24 years old, 76% actively search for porn.

Like any idol, they are not just images we set in front of our faces. They are images that work their way into our hearts

Ezekiel 14:1–5 ESV

1 Then certain of the elders of Israel came to me and sat before me. 2 And the word of the Lord came to me: 3 “Son of man, these men have taken their idols into their hearts, and set the stumbling block of their iniquity before their faces. Should I indeed let myself be consulted by them? 4 Therefore speak to them and say to them, Thus says the Lord God: Any one of the house of Israel who takes his idols into his heart and sets the stumbling block of his iniquity before his face, and yet comes to the prophet, I the Lord will answer him as he comes with the multitude of his idols, 5 that I may lay hold of the hearts of the house of Israel, who are all estranged from me through their idols.

Getting Out of the Rut

How do we take something that has us enslaved and come to the place of true victory?

See our sin as God sees it. It grieves him! As was stated in the beatitudes, our sin should cause us to mourn over it. Mourn for the fact that we have sinned against a holy God and we realize what we deserve.

Any time I hear of someone who is struggling, its typically because they got caught. They are sorry but they inevitably find themselves right back where they started.

The real question is where is our heart? 2 Corinthians 7 talks about two kinds of grief, worldly grief and Godly grief. One brings death and one brings life.

2 Corinthians 7:8–11 ESV

8 For even if I made you grieve with my letter, I do not regret it—though I did regret it, for I see that that letter grieved you, though only for a while. 9 As it is, I rejoice, not because you were grieved, but because you were grieved into repenting. For you felt a godly grief, so that you suffered no loss through us. 10 For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death. 11 For see what earnestness this godly grief has produced in you, but also what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what longing, what zeal, what punishment! At every point you have proved yourselves innocent in the matter.

Paul is talking about two kinds of sorrow, or grief, worldly sorrow and Godly sorrow.

Worldly sorrow is legitimate sorrow. There is actual sadness, brokenness, and tears when a person experiences this kind of sorrow. The problem is that worldly sorrow focuses on the world. What they might lose or fear losing, such as the things that the world has to offer.

Things like reputation, job, money, family, sexual fulfillment, even access to pornography, anything that brings security, comfort, or pleasure.

Some of these things are good and some are sinful but they are all things. This kind of worldly sorrow leads to death because it flows from the same kind of heart that wanted to look at pornography in the first place.

The sinful heart that desires to look at pornography says, “I will have whatever I want whenever I want it. I don’t care if it’s harmful, if it hurts God or those I love. I will have whatever I want.” This kind of heart sins in pursuit of its own pleasures.

This is the heart that is sorry they got caught rather than the heart that grieves over sinning against a holy God. This heart is missing something. It’s missing repentance.

Most of the men that I’ve encountered that have achieved victory over pornography have either come to me initially in a state of repentance or they’ve reached that point in their journey as they’ve reached the place of repentance, grieved over their sin, and are determined to turn away from it. These are the men that come to me broken.

Godly sorrow will look a lot like Worldly sorry but the difference is repentance because the focus isn’t on self, it’s on God himself. Godly sorrow is pained over the break in relationship with God. It’s heartbroken that God has been grieved and offended. The tears of godly sorrow flow from the sadness that God’s loving and holy law has bee broken.

The pain of the penalties of sin are not what produces godly sorrow; godly sorrow is motivated by and oriented toward God.

Godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation without regret. Godly sorrow produces life. It marks a change from the sinful self-centeredness of viewing porn and the equally self-centeredness of worldly sorrow to a pure concern for God and living for his glory. The person full of godly sorrow has a heart that wants to please God rather than self. Godly sorry motivates real and lasting change.

Godly sorry is earnest, and eager. It leads to indignation and alarm. It leads to longing and concern for restoration, and a desire for justice.

Steps to take

Proverbs 3:5–6 ESV

5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. 6 In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.

Greek word for paths - a well-trodden road

God doesn’t want you leaving the old cloths on and remaining dirty in your thinking and then put on the new cloths. You have to first repent and put off your old self, then start creating new neural pathways. God’s ruts in your minds.

Drastic Measures

Matthew 5:29–30 ESV

29 If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell.

Drastic measures in your thought life. There are probably times or places where you are more vulnerable to giving in to the desire. Viewing pornography is typically the last stop on a long road of sexual sins. A dozen other things have gone wrong in your heart and mind.

Repent - Believe in God’s forgiving and transforming grace, and that starts with repentance! Realize the sin, that it grieves God and repent! Turn away from it and turn toward God! 2 Chronicles 7:14

2 Chronicles 7:14 ESV

14 if my people who are called by my name humble themselves, and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land.

Remember scripture. intentionally hide God’s word in your heart.

John 15:7 ESV

7 If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.

Reach out for help! Get accountability, not one that reviews last weeks sin, but cries out in the midst of temptation to head off sin before it gives birth! That means you have to be in community! Have someone or a group of someones you can call on at any time.

Proverbs 28:13 ESV

13 Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy.

James 5:16–17 ESV

16 Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working. 17 Elijah was a man with a nature like ours, and he prayed fervently that it might not rain, and for three years and six months it did not rain on the earth.

The Reality of Sexual Immorality - Proverbs 5

The forbidden woman, drip honey, smoother than oil, steps god down to death and sheol

if not heeded, when you are on your death bed you’ll with you hadn’t hated discipline and reproof. you’ll wish you had listened to those that sought to teach and instruct you in wisdom.

Drink water from your own well, enjoy the wife of your youth!

Proverbs 5:20–23 ESV

20 Why should you be intoxicated, my son, with a forbidden woman and embrace the bosom of an adulteress? 21 For a man’s ways are before the eyes of the Lord, and he ponders all his paths. 22 The iniquities of the wicked ensnare him, and he is held fast in the cords of his sin. 23 He dies for lack of discipline, and because of his great folly he is led astray.

If you are finding yourself in the depths of sexual sin, whether in the flesh or in the mind and heart, Jesus is saying, take what ever measures needed in order to free yourself of the toxic burden, and focus your eyes on him as you turn to him in repentance!

Colossians 3:1 ESV

1 If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God.