Oneness In Marriage

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6 Ways to Cultivate Oneness in Marriage

Oneness in marriage means that after a few years, your spouse should probably know you better than anyone else. Because your spouse is the person who sees what you are really like when no one else is around. That’s part of the wonder of marriage. It’s vulnerable. Even scary. You might say it’s part of the wonder of oneness. And this has been true since the beginning of time as we know it. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. -Genesis 2:24 These are familiar words from the creation story. The image describing this first created couple is two people united as one. But the depth of real oneness in marriage doesn’t just happen. It grows over time. And it has to be nourished. Here are six ways to cultivate oneness in marriage. 1. Make sure you are on the same page about each other’s needs, schedules, and activities. This sounds so simple, but it’s amazing how many couples feel like they really don’t know each other after just a few years of marriage. So be deliberate about staying in tune with one another. Spend time each day in conversation. Twenty minutes of uninterrupted conversation is the recommended minimum. And once a week, set aside a half hour or more for a meeting with your mate. Compare calendars, share reminders, touch base about finances. 2. Carve out time to spend together, just the two of you, and do this consistently. Make time for weekly or bi-weekly dates. This doesn’t require a lot of money. Focus on investing time in your marriage relationship and have fun together. 3. If at all possible, arrange a get away for just the two of you at least once a year. Take time to rest and reset together. This could be a romantic destination vacation, but it certainly doesn’t have to be. Swap homes with a friend in another city. Go camping. Check out a nearby state park. Find a way to separate yourselves from the normal responsibilities of life (and children) for at least a day or two and just be together. 4. Keep your spouse’s confidences. It’s important for couples to be honest with one another about everything. That includes talking about finances, sharing hopes and dreams, and admitting weakness and struggles to each another. But it’s hard to be transparent when we are not sure our privacy will be protected. So guard any information your mate shares as precious. 5. Nurture intimacy in your marriage. Emotional and physical connection are intertwined, and both strengthen the bond betweeen two persons in marriage. Pay attention to your spouses needs, and make space in every season of life to give and receive pleasure in your  marriage relationship. This requires an adequate amount of time spent alone together, and will require adjustments as family responsibilities change. 6. Be trustworthy Oneness is an experience unique to the marriage relationship. It requires complete honesty. This should not be treated carelessly or taken for granted. Each spouse is responsible to guard their own heart from any affections with people or things that would jeapordize oneness with their spouse. As a general rule, if you can’t talk with your spouse about it, you probably shouldn’t be doing it. This is certainly not an exhaustive list of ways to deepen your connection in marriage. Why not talk with your spouse about the things mentioned here, and develop a plan for cultivating greater oneness in your own relationship. Courses and workshops offered by Marriage Dynamics Institute have helped tens of thousands of couples experience stronger connection and a greater sense of oneness in marriage.

8 Ways to Promote Oneness in Marriage: Hope for Unity in Marriage

September 11, 2019 Carman Brown Biblical Marriage
Are you looking for ways to promote oneness in marriage?  It is hard to learn how to become one in marriage but the payoff is amazing.  Today Carman Brown will explore the topic of unity in marriage with us. Did you find this mid-series?  Go back and see what you missed on the Hope For Marriage Event Page Have You Lost Hope for Your Marriage? Get the FREE Marriage Devotional! ​ The 31 Days of Hope for Marriage devotional ebook will help wives find hope in every season of marriage. 📷 >> GET MY FREE MARRIAGE DEVOTIONAL << Keep an eye on your inbox for your Swag bag! Built with ConvertKit We have a very real enemy seeking to divide us. What does oneness in marriage mean? Recognize the signs of division and intentionally righting against them. This is one of the ways to promote oneness in marriage: Unity in…CLICK TO TWEET Table of Contents hide 1 8 Ways to Promote Oneness in Marriage: Hope for Unity in Marriage 1.1 1. Understand: What Does Oneness in Marriage Mean? 1.2 2. Recognize The Spiritual Attacks of Division 1.3 3. A Foothold can easily become a Stronghold of Division 1.4 4. Look at Oneness in the Bible 1.5 5. Be the one to Confuse the Enemy with Praise. 1.6 6. Remember What you are Fighting Against. 1.7 7. Use Spiritual Warfare to Find the Root Problem 1.8 8. Unity in Marriage is a Choice 1.8.1 Promote oneness through Prayer 2 Hope for Marriage: 8 Ways to Promote Oneness in Marriage 8 Ways to Promote Oneness in Marriage: Hope for Unity in Marriage Is there hope for marriage when the enemy tries to divide you?
When the enemy comes to roam and devour in your marriage, in your homes, or in your relationships with your children, his entire purpose is to divide.  If there is to be any hope for unity in marriage you must engage in the spiritual attack.  There are many ways but today I will share 8 ways to promote oneness in marriage when the enemy tries to divide you.
1.  Understand: What Does Oneness in Marriage Mean? To understand what oneness in marriage means we must take a look at the definition of division. Divide us into separate parts. Bring disagreements in a form of hostility to all parties involved. Definition of Division:
‘the action of separating something into parts or the process of being separated. a disagreement between two or more groups, typically producing tension or hostility.’ We have a very real enemy seeking to divide us.  What does oneness in marriage mean?  Recognize the signs of division and intentionally righting against them.  This is one of the ways to promote oneness in marriage: Unity in Marriage
2. Recognize The Spiritual Attacks of Division Beware when your marriage is under spiritual attack.  Division usually comes from lies being ramped up in our minds which will create havoc within us resulting in havoc in our marriage. The havoc may include confusion, tension, frustration, low self-esteem, depression, and anxiety. The most overused tactic from the enemy is to divide a marriage of what they love and depend on most.  It is critical that you recognize these common spiritual attacks from the enemy when learning how to become one in marriage. Whether it is to use the children: ‘My husband favors our daughters more. Why does he always let them get their way when I am disciplining them?” Finances (whether you have money issues in marriage or not): ‘My husband thinks he should rule the money, does he not trust me?’ In-laws: ‘His parents have never liked me and never will. He will never stick up for me.’ Or through so many other things that are supposed to keep unity in marriage.  Be aware of what that looks like in your own home – your own marriage trials – and make a plan to not allow it to win next time. 3. A Foothold can easily become a Stronghold of Division Know that if you take in and believe ONE lie, the enemy will use that lie to build it to be more and more lies. What was a small foothold into your marriage can easily become a stronghold of division? No matter the situation he uses against you and your spouse, he desires one thing: Division in your marriage. A godly marriage should be a marriage the enemy fears and would want to devour.   Expect an attack when you are living out the characteristics of a godly wife.
A godly marriage is a powerful unity created by God, but this means we need to stand strong and firm. You, Christian Wife, need to be prepared and open to allow God to lead you in this area of your marriage if you long for unity in marriage. The enemy will try to take your hope, leaving you with no strength to heal, fight against, or be redeemed from division. “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.”John 10:10 Don’t believe his lies. That is another one of the ways to promote oneness in marriage. 4. Look at Oneness in the Bible In 2 Chronicles 20, The people of Judah sought help from the Lord and He told them this was His fight.  They were just to follow the instructions. You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the LORD will give you 2 Chronicles 20:17 God ordered the praise team to go in front of the marching line up the hill. This confused the enemy that was waiting at the top to start a war with them. By the time they got up there, the entire enemy army was all dead. They killed themselves in the confusion. The enemy’s minds were so fixed on being divided that they never joined together as an army.  That confusion literally took their lives. Do you want to be a spouse that gets lost in the confusion? Or do you want to be the one in your marriage that confuses the enemy because you stood up with praise?
5. Be the one to Confuse the Enemy with Praise. You can be just like the Israelite army who used praise to confuse the enemy and glorify God. Start your day out with praise no matter what burden of division you are feeling in your home at the time. Yes, priase God when it’s hard! Praise helps you change your mindset to build hope and it fears the devil by the confidence you are exemplifying. Jehoshaphat appointed men to sing to the Lord and to praise Him for the splendor of his holiness as they went out at the head of the army, saying: “Give thanks to the Lord, for his love endures forever.” 2 Chronicles 20:21
When you praise God, regardless of the marriage trials you face, you shine God’s light to the lost world.  You show the enemy what a marriage should be based on.  Unity in marriage shining God’s love and strength.
6. Remember What you are Fighting Against. You are NOT fighting against flesh and blood but against what the devil who is trying to make you believe is wrong. (Ephesians 6:11-17) It is not always about fighting with your spouse. Your spouse may be experiencing just as much as you even though you can’t see it. Try to understand not all things are intentional or purposefully out of spite.   Instead, pray that the trap of the enemy would reveal itself.  Pray that God would stop the fiery darts against both of you and your spouse. 7. Use Spiritual Warfare to Find the Root Problem Pray for the root that the Enemy keeps using against your marriage to be revealed. Praying through spiritual warfare in your marriage is a powerful way to promote oneness in marriage! In most cases, you will notice the same lies and traps in the mind that attacks you. Do you feel left out with finances?Maybe you feel rejected by your spouse because he did not kiss you as soon as he walked in the houseSeek the Lord where there are deep wounds within you.  You can recognize those wounds when the enemy continues to use the same situation against you. Pray it out. Receive the healing from any wounds that are preventing you to live freely. Stay alert my brothers and sister in Christ. Be ready to hear from the Lord. Create time for spiritual warfare with God to promote unity in marriage.  Spiritual Warfare is key among the ways to promote oneness in marriage. 8.  Unity in Marriage is a Choice Lastly, make a choice to keep peace in your home even if the situation seems overwhelming. Unity in Marriage is a choice you make every day.  This has been the most beneficial way to promote oneness in marriage for me.  Simple but easy to overlook. 📷 Choose Oneness in marriage.  Choose Unity in Marriage. Promote oneness through Prayer The Power of A Praying Wife is a book that has been pivotal in helping create the kind of oneness that only comes through prayer.  God can change everything in your marriage when you submit it to Him through prayer. 📷 Hope for Marriage: 8 Ways to Promote Oneness in Marriage Where does this article find you on the road to unity in marriage?  If you are like most of us there are parts of this that you do well and parts that God is convicting you to do better with.  Which of these 8 ways to promote oneness in marriage do you need to work on today? Understand What oneness in marriage meansRecognize the spiritual attacks of divisionRefuse to allow a foothold of liesLook at oneness in the BiblePraise when under attackRemember the real enemyUse spiritual warfare to find the root problemChoose unity and onenessMay you always keep your hope in the Lord today.
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