Session 3: Conflict in Marriage

The Passage

Jason Headley Video

James 3:17–4:12 ESV

But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace. What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions. You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. Or do you suppose it is to no purpose that the Scripture says, “He yearns jealously over the spirit that he has made to dwell in us”? But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Be wretched and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you. Do not speak evil against one another, brothers. The one who speaks against a brother or judges his brother, speaks evil against the law and judges the law. But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge. There is only one lawgiver and judge, he who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor?

Drill-Down

https://www.ccef.org/video/responding-criticism-marriage/

https://youtu.be/YJwfjmMVMAY

https://youtu.be/-k8TB3kdZmY

Practical Cases

Money

Sometimes - often - the issue is not about money itself, but decisions that have led to why there’s not enough.

Sometimes MORE work is necessary

A mission for your money is ALWAYS necessary

Sex

Negotiation

You realize you married someone of the opposite sex, right?

“When she says, NO.”

This is a moment of application of everything else we might learn - esp. of 1 Peter 3:7 for the man, and 3:1-6 for the woman

Remember: sometimes, sex is JUST sex. It’s not explosions; it’s just being together, and that’s OK.

Children

Sins vs. desires

Sins are to be repented of

Desires are to be discussed

What is your REAL mission for your child?

What is the child’s place in the family?

Breakout - men and women