Divorce and Oaths

Conversation with Cody before prayer

John 3:8 ESV

The wind blows where it wishes, and you hear its sound, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes. So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit.”

Recap

In keeping with Jesus purpose for the sermon on the mount, we see Jesus having established the beatitudes, attitudes that must be possessed by one of his disciples. Attitudes that set one up to be used by God and for God’s glory.

solidly biblical

genuine relationships

He’s challenged his disciples that they are Salt and Light (culturally relevant - all things to all people to make disciples who are empowered to make more disciples) and that He has come to fulfill the Law.

Step by step, topic by topic Jesus is confronting the hearts of his listeners, pointing out the fact that it’s not just what happens in deed or action, but it also matters what is happening in our hearts.

He started with confronting murder of the heart in our Anger.

He went on last to confront adultery of the heart in our Lust.

Now He turns to two other topics. Divorce and Oaths.

To Start Out

I wanted to say, before I get started, that I realize that one of the big struggles in our society and in turn God’s church, is divorce. I realize that many here in this congregation have experienced divorce.

Some have been the victim of divorce. You didn’t want it, but it was forced on you.

Some have been the victim of infidelity and shown no intension that change, repentance, or reconciliation were possible, so divorce was your course of action.

Others have pursued divorce or found themselves divorced for many other reasons.

What I want you to know is this. I’m not here to condemn anyone. I am not taking the stance I take because I’ve only been married once and I’m the pastor, I’m taking the stance I am because, as best as I can understand from years of experience and study, what I am going to share with you today is from God himself. I will attempt to leave out as many of my own opinions as I can and total focus on what HE is saying to us through his word.

The whole reason that Jesus is pointing to the heart is because our hearts are extremely good at producing idols to worship, and many times, especially in marriage and relationships, we can make our own happiness our idol and not allow every aspect of our lives to be guided and commanded by the very Word of God!

Matthew 5:31–32 ESV

31 “It was also said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ 32 But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

Here we see in verse 31 Jesus referencing Deuteronomy 24:1

Deuteronomy 24:1 ESV

1 “When a man takes a wife and marries her, if then she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, and she departs out of his house,

Here in Deuteronomy, Moses is addressing the Israelites with the “2nd” law, the original law restated before he dies. Here he points out this idea of “finding no favor” due to some “indecency in her”. What it amounted to was Moses was trying to formalize some sort of documentation as to why a husband was divorcing his wife. The problem was, there were two schools of thought on the interpretation because the permissible grounds for divorce were debated:

School of Shammai: “Restricted the ‘some indecency’ of Deuteronomy 24:1 to refer only to a sexual misdemeanor authenticated by witnesses.” (France)

School of Hillel: “Reputedly took it of any cause of complaint, even including burning the dinner.” (France)

Things had gotten so out of hand with husbands, depending on what school of thought listened to they could flippantly write a certificate of divorce for any old reason and this with no regard to what God had to say about their relationship.

This was especially hard on the women of the day. Their way of life was totally based on the husband. In Jesus day it was nothing for a disgruntled husband to simply write out a certificate of divorce for any old reason and send his wife packing. IT’s part of the reason that dowry's were a thing. The groom would pay a price for the bride almost as prepaid alimony. If he didn’t like something or you burned his toast, he could divorce her.

Jesus is again pointing to the heart of the husband and where he placed the importance of God’s design and authority.

Jesus is saying that only on the grounds of sexual immorality does someone have the ability to divorce with out sinning or causing others to sin.

The word for sexual immorality in the greek is “porneia”, where we get our word, pornography.

This would include the following biblical usages.

illicit sexual intercourse

adultery, fornication, homosexuality, lesbianism, intercourse with animals etc.

sexual intercourse with close relatives; Lev. 18

sexual intercourse with a divorced man or woman; Mk. 10:11-12

metaphor. the worship of idols of the defilement of idolatry, as incurred by eating the sacrifices offered to idols

In short, anything other than the sexual relationship between a husband and his wife. Everything else is sin. Everything else is a perversion of what God established as good and holy and sacred.

Where did God establish this? In the first marriage ceremony in the bible, Genesis 2:24

Genesis 2:24 ESV

24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

Jesus expounds on this even more later on in Matthew 19.

Matthew 19:3–9 ESV

3 And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause?” 4 He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, 5 and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” 7 They said to him, “Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away?” 8 He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. 9 And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”

Ultimately it is God who decides what is right and what is wrong. The reason we see the line drawn where anyone who divorces without their spouse having committed adultery is not only sinning themselves, but they are also causing their spouse to be an adulterer is because the reason given is not a valid reason to permit divorce on God’s terms.

An illegitimate divorce gives place to adultery because God doesn’t recognize the divorce, and sees a new relationship as bigamous(getting married to another while still married to someone else). It is possible for a person to have a divorce that is recognized by the state, but not by God. If that person goes on to marry someone else, God considers that relationship adultery because He sees them as still married.

Today, people get married for all kinds of reasons, but in God’s eyes and purpose, marriage was designed by Him and intended to tell the truth about Him.

Ephesians 5:25–33 ESV

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Even inside the Christian community there are debates leading to differing views of what scripture says about divorce. They typically go to one extreme or the other. The “license” side of the camp leans way to the side of saying, “oh it will be okay even if it’s not biblical, God will forgive you, right”. The other extreme is the permanency of Marriage crowd that says, if you’ve remarried and didn’t do things Biblically, your new marriage isn’t even legitimate so you should divorce your current spouse and try to remarry your first spouse.

The ultimate answer here is do things biblically the first time. Be faithful. Paint a picture with your marriage that honors God and tells the truth about Him.

So many are concerned about their reasons for divorce being “permitted” that they aren’t interested in the one thing that could mend hearts and draw them back together and that’s showing God’s forgiveness to the unfaithful spouse and reconciling the marriage, which by the way, also tells the truth about God.

A world seeing God’s children be faithful is the most powerful thing. For the same world to see God’s children forgive when one is unfaithful is mind blowing and points them to seek to understand this thing called forgiveness and how they too can receive it, not just from a human being but more importantly from an Holy God.

So what about those that have been divorced before, possibly on unbiblical terms? The answer is not to sin again by divorcing your new spouse. It’s to remain faithful to them and go and seek forgiveness from both your previous spouse and possibly your children, allowing them to realize and be pointed to the importance of living a life according to God’s word.

Make this marriage count! Live out your faith in your current marriage and do things God’s way!

God isn’t worried about your pursuit of your own happiness! He’s totally focused on your pursuit of holiness!

Oaths - Yes is Yes and No is No

Matthew 5:33–37 ESV

33 “Again you have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not swear falsely, but shall perform to the Lord what you have sworn.’ 34 But I say to you, Do not take an oath at all, either by heaven, for it is the throne of God, 35 or by the earth, for it is his footstool, or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the great King. 36 And do not take an oath by your head, for you cannot make one hair white or black. 37 Let what you say be simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything more than this comes from evil.

This train of thought of not swearing falsely stems from a legalistic effort to live up to what you have sworn you’ll do, when it is sworn to God. The scribes and Pharisees had twisted this law to be tied to Not taking the Lord’s name in vain.

The greek word for “swear falsely” points to perjury. Lying under oath. The religious elite of the day had basically “permitted” the perjury of someone who swore by any other thing but God.

Jesus statement in verses 34 & 35 points to the fact that it’s not about who you swear by but its about your word because God is the one you identify with as being your authority. Because everything that has been created was created by God and for Him, Jesus is saying, “you’re either going to be a person of your word or you aren’t.” To say you will do somehting and then to not do it, is perjury.

Jesus is saying, it doesn’t matter what it is. It doesn’t matter if you make and oath to God or any other thing or person because if you say you’ll do it, you’ve stated that before the throne of God.

Simply let your Yes be Yes and your No be No. Every other result come from Evil, some translations say, comes from the evil one.

Oaths and marriage

Now, tie this back to marriage. When you stood before the LORD, I don’t care of you went to the JP or if you stood before a pastor or priest, you stood before God when you took your wedding vows. When you said, “I do” and “I will” to your marriage vows, you were saying yes in front of the Lord, Now, be a man or woman of integrity, let your yes be yes, and your no be no before our Holy God and proclaim to the World that Jesus loves His Church and would do anything for her, including die for her to save her and sanctify her.

Love your spouse like Jesus loves you! Unconditionally! Forgive your spouse like Jesus has forgiven you! Completely!

Jesus is after our hearts. First he confronts the heart with truth, and then he makes an appeal of love to draw us to him. I’m reminded of what Jeremiah 32 says.

Jeremiah 32:39–41 ESV

39 I will give them one heart and one way, that they may fear me forever, for their own good and the good of their children after them. 40 I will make with them an everlasting covenant, that I will not turn away from doing good to them. And I will put the fear of me in their hearts, that they may not turn from me. 41 I will rejoice in doing them good, and I will plant them in this land in faithfulness, with all my heart and all my soul.

A.W. Tozer - With the goodness of God, to desire or highest welfare, the wisdom of God, to planet, and the power of God, to achieve it, what do we like? Surely we are the most favored of all creatures.

Lets pray!