Humility: The Key to the Christian Life

Introduction:

This morning’s passage is Phil. 2:1-11 Let’s read it together and then ask the Lord for help this morning.

Philippians 2:1–11 ESV

1 So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, 2 complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. 3 Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. 4 Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. 5 Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, 6 who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, 7 but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. 8 And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. 9 Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, 10 so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 11 and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

Pray:

I don’t know if you have noticed this or not but everyone seems to be looking for the secret. Some piece of knowledge or method that will unlock their life.

Billions and billions of dollars have been spent on advertising trying to convince you that some product or method is in fact that key. Just do this, buy that, take this class and everything in life will fall into place.

Trying to loose weight? Try this product and watch the weight fall off.

Trying to find love? Download this app and the relationship of your dreams is just around the corner.

Looking for success at work? Read this book, implement this method and in no time you will get that promotion and find success.

Looking for financial freedom? Just take this course and follow it’s method and in no time you’ll have more money than you know what to do with.

We are a desperate people and we are desperate to find the key that will unlock the door to life, the door to happiness. Some of us think the door to happiness is found in a better body, a perfect relationship, the next promotion at work, or more money in the bank.

What is the key to life?

We’ll come back to this in just a minute but first let’s set the stage for the book of Philippians.

Most commentators would agree that the overall theme of this book is joy. 15 different times Paul mentions joy probably most famously when he says, “rejoice in the Lord always again I say rejoice.”

Paul takes serious our call to find joy in the Lord. But it is also a book about unity. In fact just two verses before Paul’s famous command to rejoice in the Lord always he urges the church in Philippi to help two woman Euodia and Syntyche to be of the same mind and to be unified.

But how do we do this? How do we rejoice in the Lord always how do we find unity when relationships are broken.

Well in these verses we find the key. We find the secret. But it’s not just the key to unity and joy. I think the truth that we find in these verses is the key to the Christian life.

If we get this right almost everything else will begin to fall into place.

So what is they key? Well the big idea of the sermon this morning is this...

The key to the Christian life and unity in the church is found in selfless humility.

Let’s read Phil. 2:1-2 “ So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy,

We may come back to this later in the sermon but for now its good enough to understand these questions are rhetorical, with the obvious answer being, yes. Paul is saying, “is there any encouragement in Christ is there any comfort from love. Well of course the answer to those questions is yes. Of course we find encouragement in Christ of course we find comfort from love.

So Paul is saying if these things are true then… and he goes on in verse 2.

complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind.”

What’s Paul’s point? If theres is encouragement in Christ then have the same mind or think the same way. If there is any comfort from love then we should have the same love. We should love the same thing.

In others words if there is any encouragement in Christ then we should we unified.

The church should be unified. Christian families should be unified. Christians marriages should be unified. Christian friendships should be unified.

But were not are we? You don’t have to look hard to find tension in a church. You don’t have to look long to find a family who calls themself christian struggling with disunity. You don’t have to look hard to find husband and wives who claim Christ but are locked into bitter arguments and disagreements.

If there is any encouragement in Christ then this shouldn’t be the case. We should have the same love we should think the same way.

But this isn’t always the case and nothing steals our joy quicker than broken relationships.

So what’s the key? How do we get out of this mess? How do we find unity? How do we find joy? What’s the key to this Christian life?

It’s not confusing. It’s not complex. The secret is simple. Hard to implement sure. But simple to understand.

The key is humility. The key to joy the key to the christian life is humility.

So in verses 3-4 we see the command for selfless humility.

Phil. 2:3-4 “3 Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. 4 Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”

The text says, “do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit.”

Let’s define some words and make sure we are all on the same page.

Conceit is excessive pride in oneself. No I think any amount of pride in ourselves is excess but conceit carries with it the idea over the top pride. In your face pride.

Next we have ambition and the Oxford dictionary defines ambition as “a strong desire to do or to achieve something, typically requiring determination and hard work.” Notice from the text that ambition isn’t the problem here. God has created us to be ambitious. He’s created us with a drive to get things done.

Some of you are very ambitious. Some of you look down on people who are ambitious. But ambition is not the problem. A strong desire to accomplish something is not the issue.

Selfish ambition is the problem. Ambition that is set on building oneself up is the issue.

Typically this isn’t hard to spot. If you are willing to push someone aside to get ahead then that by definition is selfish ambition. If you are willing to sacrifice your family to find success at your job then that is selfish ambition. If you are so preoccupied with accomplishing a goal you never take into account the effect it may have on others then that is selfish ambition.

It doesn’t matter how noble the goal may be if you are willing to sacrifice others on the alter of success then you are filled with selfish ambition.

And scripture is clear, do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit. Do nothing.

But sometimes our selfish ambition can be more subtle. If simply accomplishing something that is difficult is not enough but you have to tell someone what you did that’s selfish ambition.

If you feel the need to work into conversation something impressive you’ve done lately then what you’ve done is shown that what you really want more than just the joy that comes from accomplishing something difficult. What you really want is the praise of men.

We do this all the time don’t we? We could spend all day talking about ways we do this but here’s a couple.

Let’s start with a somewhat silly example but I think it gets to the point pretty clearly.

Everyone has seen this but apparently it’s next to impossible to go on a diet or to exercise without talking about it. Something happens inside of us as we are working out that compels us to tell others about it.

Next time this happens to you think, “why am I doing this.” Do people really need to know? You may think, “I’m just trying to inspire someone else.” That may be true and I’m not trying to say it wrong to talk about your workout but my guess is there’s a heavy dose of conceit mixed in, a desire for praise. Because praise makes us feel almost as good as working out.

Or how about this. Have you ever done something difficult or sacrificial and it’s gone unnoticed or worse someone else got credit for something you’ve done?

How quick are we to bring that to the attention of those around us. Some of you aren’t very subtle you just come out and say it. Some of us find sneaky little ways to hint at it in conversation.

Typically it goes like this. You drop a hint in the conversation. The person talking to you acts surprised and says, “oh you did that thank you so much.” Then you respond, “oh well I didn’t want to say anything.”

Yes you did and the reason you did is because your heart is filled with selfish ambition and conceit.

We love to do this in church don’t we. We love to find ways to talk about all the ways we serve in church? Why do we do this? Because service to our God isn’t enough. We want more. We want the praise of men but Jesus tells us that if it’s the praise of men we desire then we have received our reward.

Or what about this one. Complaining. Complaining is just a form of conceit. Because complaining assumes you deserve better and you can’t assume you deserve better unless you’re conceited.

Scripture is clear. We deserve hell. We deserve eternal punishment. Every moment we aren’t in hell is a moment that we are getting something we don’t deserve. But when we complain we forget that because complaining is rooted in conceit.

We could go on but we don’t have time but the longer I’ve been a christian the more I realized how deep my problem with pride runs. How badly I want the praise of man. How much I think I deserve.

This week evaluate the decisions you make. The subtle comments you let slip from your mouth. The pictures you post on social media.

What was the driving force behind those decisions, comments, and posts? Be honest with yourself. What did you hope to accomplish? Was it selfish ambition? Was it conceit?

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.

Earlier I said humility is the key to the Christian life. It’s the key to unity in the church and it’s the key to joy.

But what does humility mean? It’s a word that get’s thrown around often in our circles but sometimes I wonder if we really understand what it means.

In these verses it is in contrast to selfish ambition and conceit. So we know at least in part what humility is not. But I don’t think it’s helpful to think of humility as simply the opposite of selfishness or the opposite of pride even though I think that’s true.

I think it’s more helpful to think of humility as just something that is just different entirely.

For example, some of you don’t struggle with the obvious forms of pride.

You’re not prone to build yourself up but rather tear yourself down. You don’t struggle with slipping in subtle compliments to yourself in conversation but instead you slip in little jabs about yourself. Never missing an opportunity to put yourself down.

That may feel like the opposite of pride. Self condemnation may feel like the opposite of self-adulation but one thing is for sure, that’s not humility. That’s not what humility is at all. You’re not being humble by tearing yourself down. Nowhere in scripture are we called to hate ourself.

And if that’s something you struggle with this morning I’d love to say a few words to you. If you are here this morning and you struggle with this. If you really struggle with genuine hatred for yourself.

Maybe your think you don’t know how many times I’ve screwed up. How many times I’ve taken a good thing and ruined it.

Maybe you think I’m my own worst enemy. That may be true. It probably is true. But Jesus tells us to love our enemies. To bless those who curse you. Even when the one doing the cursing is ourself.

Be kind to yourself.

It’s not humility to beat yourself up. It’s not humility to tear yourself down. That’s actually just another twisted form of pride.

Phil. 2:8 says, “8 And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.”

Jesus died on the cross to pay the penalty for your sin and when you spend your day beating yourself up what your saying is, “Jesus thanks for what you did. Thanks for taking my punishment. But you didn’t finish the job.”There’s still a little more beating that I owe.”

That’s pride! That’s assuming that only you can pay the price for your sin. That you have to hurt yourself for what you’ve done.

But Jesus already took the penalty for your sin. He already took the beating that you owe. He already paid the price.

Be kind to yourself. Some of the things you say to yourself are just wrong. I know there people here this morning that are just down right cruel to themself. You treat yourself like garbage like your worthless.

But Jesus didn’t die for garbage. It wasn’t a waste of His time when He hung on the cross for you.

You were made in the image of God and if you’ve put your faith in Jesus than you are a child of God. Be kind to God’s child. Be gentle with His son or daughter.

For just a minute try to shut up that voice that is constantly telling you how worthless and awful you and listen to the words of your Father.

Romans 8:35-39 “35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? 38 For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, 39 nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Paul prays in Eph. 3:18-19 “That you may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, 19 and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge,

1 John 3:1 “1 See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God.

Eph. 1:5 God decided in advance to adopt us into His own family by bringing us to Himself through Jesus Christ. This is what He wanted to do, and it gave Him great pleasure.

Eph. 2:4 But God is so rich in mercy, and He loved us so much, that even though we were dead because of our sins, He gave us life when He raised Christ from the dead.

Ps. 149:4 “4 For the Lord takes pleasure in his people; he adorns the humble with salvation.”

God loves you and it’s not humility to think otherwise it’s pride.

This is the first step in becoming a humble person. People who are proud are insecure. Sometimes we handle our insecurity by projecting greatness to those around us. WE don’t want people to know that we are insecure so we act like we have it all together. We are obsessed with ourself.

Sometimes we handle our insecurity by tearing ourself down. It’s like we are afraid the world is going to find out we are frauds so instead of letting them find out we come and tell them every chance we get. But we are still just obsessed with ourself.

If pride comes from insecurity then the first step to becoming humble is finding our security in Christ. Knowing, trusting, and resting in the love of our heavenly Father.

SO it’s the gospel that is the key to our humility. It’s the gospel that puts us in the proper place. The gospel removes any pride in ourselves because the gospel shows us that we are desperately wicked unable to save ourselves. But then it’s also the gospel that allows us to live humble lives. Because the gospel shows us yes that we are more wicked then we could imagine but at the very same time more loved then we could ever hope for.

So we don’t have to worry what men think of us we know what God thinks of us.

We don’t have to worry about what we’ve accomplished we know what Jesus has accomplished for us.

We don’t need to fear the sacrifice that living a humble life requires because we know the eternal glory that waits for us in heaven.

If humility is the key to the Christian life then the gospel is the key to humility.

But we still haven’t answered what humility is yet.

I love the definiton that C.S. Lewis gives. He says, “Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less.”

It’s not beating yourself up. It’s not thinking less of yourself. It’s just thinking of yourself less.

C.S. Lewis continues in his book Mere Christianity and asks the question what would it look like to meet a truly humble person.

He says, if we were to meet a truly humble person, we would never come away from meeting them thinking they were humble. They would not be always telling us they were a nobody (because a person who keeps saying they are a nobody is actually a self-obsessed person). The thing we would remember from meeting a truly gospel-humble person is how much they seemed to be totally interested in us. Because the essence of gospel-humility is not thinking more of myself or thinking less of myself, it is thinking of myself less. Gospel-humility is not needing to think about myself. Not needing to connect things with myself. True gospel-humility means I stop connecting every experience, every conversation, with myself. In fact, I stop thinking about myself. This is the freedom of self-forgetfulness. The blessed rest that only self-forgetfulness brings.”

That’s what humility is it’s a self forgetfulness. I love the way Lewis describes an encounter with a truly humble person. You don’t walk away from a humble person thinking they were humble. You think, wow they really seemed interested in me.

Which is exactly what we see Paul saying in Phil. 2:3-4 “3 Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. 4 Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”

A humble person genuinely thinks of others as more important than themself. A humble person is far more interested in others then they are with themself. A humble person looks out for the interests of others before looking out for their own interests.

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility forget about yourself and count others as more significant. Forget about your own interests and think only of the interests of others.

We will come back to some application later but here’s a very simple question we ask in our home all the time.

Who were you thinking about? This week as you try to evaluate the choices you make, the actions you’ve taken ask yourself the question, who were you thinking about?

I’ve found that gets to the heart of the matter really quick because more often than not I find that I was thinking of myself. I considered myself as more important more significant.

That’s not humility. That’s selfish ambition. Humility forgets about yourself. Humility considers others as more important.

Let’s keep moving.

Next in verses 5-11 we see the example of selfless humility.

Phil. 2:5-11 “5 Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, 6 who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, 7 but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. 8 And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. 9 Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, 10 so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 11 and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.”

I love the way this passage doesn’t give us any outs. We are really good at finding ways around commands in scripture. Like the serpent in the garden we ask questions like, “Did God really mean do nothing from selfish ambition?” Did he really say “consider everyone as more significant than yourself?”

We find ways to weasel out of God’s commands all of the time. But this text doesn’t give us any leeway. It explains to us what it looks like to do nothing from selfish ambition. It gives us an example of considering others as more significant than ourself. It shows us what self forgetfulness looks like. It gives us the example of Christ.

Christ who was in the form of God did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped. The CSB translates the word grasped as exploited. Paul is saying that Christ did not count equality with God something to be used for selfish gain.

How often do we exploit the slightest amount of authority for selfish gain. Not Jesus.

But instead he emptied himself. Now this is where our theology comes into play. Because when Christ became man he did not empty himself of his divinity. Scriptures teaches something we call the hypostatic union. That Christ is 100 percent God and 100 percent man. He’s not 50/50. He is totally God and totally man.

Which is what this text says. How did he empty himself? By taking on the form of man. He empty himself by taking something on.

Do you realize the depth of that sacrifice. This is not something that can be reversed. For all of eternity Jesus Christ is both 100 percent God and 100 percent man. It didn’t go back to the way things were after the resurrection. He will for the rest of eternity be both man and God.

But he didn’t just become a man. He became a servant. Jesus the King of Kings came not to be served but to serve. The disciples didn’t wash His feet. He washed the disciples feet.

But he didn’t stop there. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross

What a stunning picture of humility. What a stunning picture of self forgetfulness. Unconcerned with himself he steps down from heaven becomes a servant and then takes on the punishment that his enemies deserved.

He allows the creatures that he created to whip and mock him. He allows the men he formed from dust to run nails through his hands and his feet and hang him on a tree.

And as He is hanging on that tree does He call down fire from heaven to consume these rebellious creatures? NO of course not. He cries out and says, “Father forgive them for they know not what they do.”

There was no limit to the depths Jesus allowed Himself to fall. And Paul says, “have this same mind among yourself, which is yours in Christ Jesus.”

This is the example we are supposed to emulate. This is the kind of humility we are supposed to have. And it is the example of Christ that eliminates all excuse.

There is no limit to how far we are called to lower ourself in service of others.

This is what makes Christianity so different from everything else.

The christian life isn’t a race to the top it’s a race to the bottom. Jesus tells us that to be first is to be last but to be last is to be first. The Christian life isn’t a race to the front of the line but to the back.

But that’s where you will find Jesus.

You’re not going to find Jesus on the mountain top of success. You’ll find him in the valley of self sacrifice.

You won’t find Jesus on the mountain top of comfort. You’ll find him in the valley of despair.

You won’t find Jesus on the mountain top of self fulfillment. You’ll find him in the valley self forgetfulness.

You may think but it’s terrifying to give up all of this things.It’s scary to even imagine living a life of sacrifice like these verses call us to do. You may think what would I be without this job, this comfort, this sense of ease, this authority.

You’re right it’s terrifying to sacrifice something that you hold so dearly. But the Psalmist already knows what it’s like he tells us in Ps. 23:4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.”

Make no mistake to live a life of radical sacrifice based in selfless humility will feel like walking through the valley of the shadow of death. But that’s where we find Jesus.

But the beautiful thing about the christian life is that it’s this paradox. The farther down you go in selfless humility the more Christ will raise you up on the last day.

Jesus humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. 9 Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, 10 so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 11 and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.”

The Christian life is a paradox because the more you lower yourself the more God will raise you up.

This is the foundation for selfless humility.

We can sacrifice everything. We can safety forget about ourself because we know that God hasn’t forgotten about us.

We can lower ourselves to the absolute bottom of this life and know that on the last day Christ will raise us back up.

There is a book of prayers by the puritans called the Valley of Vision and the opening prayer explains it well. It says,

Thou hast brought me to the valley of vision, where I live in the depths but see thee in the heights; hemmed in by mountains of sin I behold thy glory.

Let me learn by paradox that the way down is the way up, that to be low is to be high, that the broken heart is the healed heart, that the contrite spirit is the rejoicing spirit, that the repenting soul is the victorious soul, that to have nothing is to possess all, that to bear the cross is to wear the crown, that to give is to receive, that the valley is the place of vision.

Let me find your light in my darkness, your life in my death, your joy in my sorrow, your grace in my sin, your riches in my poverty, your glory in my valley.

People in this world are constantly trying to get a head in life. My plea with you this morning is this. Don’t be afraid to fall behind. The world wants to be on top don’t be afraid to be the one at the bottom. People naturally want to be in charge relish the opportunity to be the servant. The world wants to be known for what they’ve done, find comfort in working in obscurity.

But before we get practical I’d like to talk a little bit more about the example Christ gives us. On one hand when we look at Christs example we see this beautiful picture of humility something that we should all strive for. But on the other hand this example of humility is also damning.

We will never be able to live up to this example. We will never be as humble as Jesus. We will never sacrifice as much as Jesus sacrificed. We will never lower ourself to the degree Jesus lowered himself.

So I think it’s possible to read this passage of scripture and come away overwhelmed.

I think this is especially true for moms. It’s true for others as well but if you are a mother here this morning especially if you have young children at home. You know what it’s like to constantly put the needs of others before yourself. All day long you consider the needs of your children rarely taking a moment to consider what you may need and it’s left you exhausted.

Then you come to church and get a few minutes free from your kids and you have to sit and listen to me tell you that you need to do even more. That you need to be more humble. Think of others even more. I could see how that would be overwhelming to hear.

So if you are here this morning feeling overwhelmed with the needs of others whether you’re a mother or not. I’d like to offer some encouragement.

First let’s look at the broader example of Christ’s life. Yes, Christ emptied himself and took on the form of man and as a servant he became obedient to the point of death on the cross.

But as a man do you know what else Jesus did? He took naps. After a long day of healing and teaching he was so tired that he took a nap in the bottom of a boat while he let His friends paddle.

Other times he woke up early and spent time alone with HIs Father away from all of the annoying questions of his disciples.

Another time he was so overwhelmed by the crowds that he went away and spent time with just his close friends.

Was Jesus being selfish when he did these things? Of course not.

To be human is to be weak. To be human is to have needs. To be human is to get tired.

It’s ok to take a nap while someone else paddles the boat. It’s ok to make the kids stay in their rooms in the morning while you spend time with God. It’s ok to draw away from the constant needs of others and spend time with your friends.

It’s ok to admit that you aren’t God. That you can’t do everything. That you need help.

So we see that humility is both the forgetting of self while at the same time being honest about yourself. It’s not humility to ignore your every need. It’s pride.

Humility also requires you to be honest about your strengths and weakness. To admit your limitations. Let me give you a dumb example. But it think it will help drive the point home.

Imagine I was walking across the beach and I see someone drowning in the ocean 300 yards out. There are a couple options I could take. I could with total disregard to my own safety. A total self forgetfulness jump into the ocean and swim out to them and try to save them. But even if by some miracle I reach them now the only thing I’ve accomplished is adding to the problem. Because I stink at swimming. Now we have two drowning people. That’s not helpful.

It’s not love to ignore my very obvious limitations and dive into the water.

A better thing would be to sprint to the nearest lifeguard or call 911.

I may not be able to be the one doing the saving. Humility acknowledges that but humility doesn’t allow me to carry on my day without helping at all. Humility requires me to do what I can to help.

So humility requires some introspection. Some thinking of self to understand strengths and weakness. But always in contrast with selfish ambition. WE don’t think about ourselves in an effort to get ahead. We think about ourselves in an effort to love others well.

So what are your strengths? Think about it and find ways to use your strengths to help others.

Are you already completely overwhelmed in life? Then have the humility to say no to the person who asks for help because you’re not God and you can’t solve every problem.

If it’s possible maybe you could look for areas in your life that you could eliminate in order to free up time to serve others because remember we are still required to think of others before we think of ourself. But we must always remember we are not God we can’t do everything.

It’s not humility to take on all of the worlds problems only God can do that.

This isn’t alway easy to figure out. This act of living a humble life requires wisdom and practice, trial and error, forgiveness and repentance.

Humility may be the key to the christian life but it’s also a life long pursuit.

Here are some practical applications and I’d encourage you to discuss this with your growth group later tonight.

Husbands and Fathers, you are the head of your household but that does not make you more important than anyone else in your family. You are not greater than those with whom you have authority over. As the head of the home you should be a picture of humility and service. Don’t come home from a long days work expecting to be served.

When you get home your day is just getting started. When you get home from work take a moment and prepare your heart and your mind for a night of self sacrificial service and then go to bed worn out.

As men we get ourselves into all kinds of trouble when we have too much time and energy on our hands. Use the time and energy you have left after a day of work, serving and loving your wife and your family. Consider them as more important than yourself.

You may think But i’ve spent all day at work providing for my family, serving my family. Fantastic keep it up when you get home.

The Son of man came not to be served but to serve. The husband can come home from work not to be served but to serve.

Wives and mothers, let me just say it’s a lot easier to talk to the guys, but here goes. The world scoffs at the idea of biblical marriage and family. The world finds the idea of men being the head of a household and wives submitting to their husbands as reprehensible. And to be fait the church hasn’t always got it right either. In fact, the church has often screwed this up so badly that it makes it difficult to talk about.

We don’t have time to talk through all of that this morning. I’d highly recommend going on our churches website, looking for the sermons under the seeking sanctuary conference and listen to Mike Gitten’s lesson. He does a wonderful job correcting many of the churches mistakes in this area. Husbands and wives should listen to that talk together.

But let me just say this. There is glory in service. There is glory in lowering yourself for the good of others. Everywhere you look in this world your find a message of self fulfillment your find encouragement to place your desires over the needs of your family. Fight the temptation to think of yourself as more important than your family. Do not grow weary in doing good in good time you will reap if you do not give up.

Imagine how much better our marriages would be if both husband and wife thought of the other as more important than themself. If you both go into your marriage looking out for the interest of each other before you look out for your own interest then things will fall into place.

You’ll figure out your roles and responsibilities and no two marriage look a like. There’s not a list of responsibilities in scripture for the husband and a list of responsibilities for the wife. Put each other first and let the pieces fall where they may resist the urge to compare your marriage to other marriages.

Kids and teens, have the humility to listen to your parents. You know part of Jesus taking on the likeness of man meant he also was a kid and he also was a teenager. Only he wasn’t just any kid. Have you ever heard your mother say in a moment of anger, “I brought you into this world and I can take you out.” Well Jesus was the only kids that could ever say back to that, “um actually I brought you into this world.”

But you know what Jesus did even though he was God. He listened to his parents. So much of you energy and time is spent fighting the authority of your parents. You think they are idiots who don’t have a clue what it’s like to be a kid today. Resist the urge to think of yourself as smarter. Resist the urge to think of yourself as more important and in humility listen to your parents.

If you could get that into your head and to your heart your life will become exponentially better.

Imagine how joyful and unified our families would be if the father considered everyone else in the family as more significant then himself. If the mother consistently looked out for the interests of her family instead our her own. And the kids in humility realized they don’t know everything and listened to their parents.

Maybe you’re thinking. Yea if they would start doing that it would be great. But the wonderful thing about this text is that it doesn’t say wait until your wife thinks of others as more important than herself then count others as more significant. We don’t wait until others obey. We start with ourself and let God take care of the rest.

Let’s move on.

Church member, when you come to church who are you thinking about? Do you come to church thinking about the interests of others or yourself? Do you find your mind filling with complaints about the music, facilities, quality of the coffee, or the sermon length. Or does your mind fill with the interests of others. Do you come to church thinking how could I serve someone today. How could I make someone feel loved today.

I was challenged by another pastor to make an excel spreadsheet of every member at faith baptist church so we could keep better track of people and make sure less and less people were falling through the cracks. So with the help of Lisa we put together a spreadsheet and one of the things we listed next to everyone’s name was the areas they were serving.

Did you know that 50 percent of the members at church don’t have a single area in which they serve.

Yikes… now I may have just touched a nerve. But before you get defensive. This isn’t a guilt trip, I’m not judging anyone, I’m not looking down my nose at you if you happen to be in that 50 percent.

Jesus didn’t tell us to be servants because he wanted our lives to be worse but because He wanted our lives to be better. There is joy in service. There is contentment in thinking of others before yourself.

You’re not going to find Jesus just sitting in a chair on Sunday morning. You’ll find Jesus in the valley of sacrificial service. You’ll find Jesus in the valley of humility.

Isn’t that what you want? Don’t you want Jesus? Isn’t he better?

Imagine how unified our church would. How of the same mind we would be? If we genuinely considered others as more important than ourselves.

We need people to be willing to change some diapers in the nursery. That takes humility I know, but what a wonderful opportunity to serve the families in this church.

We need people to greet at the doors. What a wonderful opportunity to make people feel welcomed and loved the moment they get to church on Sunday.

We need people to help vacuum the church building. The wonderful thing about vacuuming is that if you do your job right no one will ever even think of you or thank you. What an amazing opportunity to serve in obscurity.

We need people to help in children church. What an amazing chance that would be to help the children in this church know and love Jesus.

There’s more opportunities then that. Talk to Lisa or myself and we would love to get you plugged in.

But maybe you have physical limitations that make it difficult or impossible to serve in ways that you used too or ways that you’d like too. That’s ok. Jesus doesn’t love you based on what you can do for him. Your value doesn’t come from the ways you serve in church.

If you have physical limitations that’s ok. Come to church ready to make people feel loved. Go out of your way to make sure people know that they are loved and that you’re grateful they are here. Consider others as more important.

We could go on with more examples but we don’t have time. If you are in a growth group this week please take time to think through this as a group.

But as you evaluate the decisions and choices you make this week ask yourself the simple question.

Who was I thinking about?

Let’s pray.

Lord we have so much sin. So much pride. The command to be humble is so foreign and strange to us. It doesn’t make sense to our fallen hearts and minds.

So Lord Help us to learn by paradox that the way down is the way up, that to be low is to be high, that the broken heart is the healed heart, that the contrite spirit is the rejoicing spirit, that the repenting soul is the victorious soul, that to have nothing is to possess all, that to bear the cross is to wear the crown, that to give is to receive, that the valley is the place of vision.

Help us to find your light in our darkness, your life in our death, your joy in our sorrow, your grace in our sin, your riches in our poverty, your glory in the valley.

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