Matthew: The Importance of Forgiveness

3 Min of quiet

Psalm 130 NIV

A song of ascents. 1 Out of the depths I cry to you, Lord; 2 Lord, hear my voice. Let your ears be attentive to my cry for mercy. 3 If you, Lord, kept a record of sins, Lord, who could stand? 4 But with you there is forgiveness, so that we can, with reverence, serve you. 5 I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits, and in his word I put my hope. 6 I wait for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning, more than watchmen wait for the morning. 7 Israel, put your hope in the Lord, for with the Lord is unfailing love and with him is full redemption. 8 He himself will redeem Israel from all their sins.

Pray

Opening Hymn

Announcements: (Pastor will make these this week)

The church now has a phone again. It has the same #437-3782 we are just with a different carrier. So, if you wake up and are concerned that we have a snow/ice day, call the church number and listen for the message to say if we are dismissed for the day. This is also the best nighttime/weekend number to call in cases of emergency. During my Sabbatical, someone else will have this phone and monitor the calls.

The Seder dinner we had hoped to have in March has fallen through, so we will not have that this year. Hopefully another year soon we will be able to do so.

Next week we will hold our annual elections. If you are a member and you wish to vote, you will need to attend to do so.

Our annual meeting will be held at the end of March and the annual reports will be handed out. I will give a brief financial report and we will have one other vote on that day that I will explain about next week.

Helen and Ann have a special presentation at this time.

Genesis 50:15–21 NIV

15 When Joseph’s brothers saw that their father was dead, they said, “What if Joseph holds a grudge against us and pays us back for all the wrongs we did to him?” 16 So they sent word to Joseph, saying, “Your father left these instructions before he died: 17 ‘This is what you are to say to Joseph: I ask you to forgive your brothers the sins and the wrongs they committed in treating you so badly.’ Now please forgive the sins of the servants of the God of your father.” When their message came to him, Joseph wept. 18 His brothers then came and threw themselves down before him. “We are your slaves,” they said. 19 But Joseph said to them, “Don’t be afraid. Am I in the place of God? 20 You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. 21 So then, don’t be afraid. I will provide for you and your children.” And he reassured them and spoke kindly to them.

Worship set

John 8:1–11 NIV

1 but Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. 2 At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. 3 The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group 4 and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. 5 In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” 6 They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him. But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. 7 When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” 8 Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground. 9 At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. 10 Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” 11 “No one, sir,” she said. “Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”

Prayer Chorus

Prayer

Worship Through the Word:

The Importance of Forgiveness

10,000 Sermon Illustrations (All Forgivenesses Are Not Alike!)

Grizzly bears in Yellowstone Park often come to eat at the place where garbage is dumped. This huge bear can fight and beat almost any animal in the West, but it lets the skunk share its meal. Grizzly bears probably resented the skunk and could easily kill the little creatures in any fight. No doubt the bear would have liked to have gotten even with him for his intrusion. But he doesn’t. Why? Because he knows the high cost of getting even.

One of the greatest stumbling blocks to our spiritual health is our unwillingness to forgive others. Yet, Christ is clear that it is important to be able to forgive if we desire to live in His kingdom. However, that does not mean that we never confront issues of sin in the church. Today, we find Jesus teaching how to confront sin in the church as well as the importance of forgiving others.

Stand as you are able for the reading of the Word.

Matthew 18:15–35 NIV

15 “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. 16 But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ 17 If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector. 18 “Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. 19 “Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. 20 For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.” 21 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” 22 Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. 23 “Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. 24 As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold was brought to him. 25 Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt. 26 “At this the servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ 27 The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go. 28 “But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins. He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded. 29 “His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’ 30 “But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. 31 When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened. 32 “Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. 33 Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ 34 In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. 35 “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”

The Word of God for the people of God. Thanks be to God!

I. Discipline and Forgiveness, Matthew 18:15-35

The concept of forgiveness is often misunderstood. People think that by forgiving someone we let them off the hook for what they have done or we must turn a blind eye to what has been done. This is not correct. Forgiveness is us releasing it and now allowing the emotion or anger to remain to hinder us. However, it does not mean that we release them from the consequences or penalty of an action.

It also does not mean that we do not bring discipline. And, we can bring discipline and forgive at the same time.

Chapter 18 of Matthew is interesting in the path that it travels. It begins with the disciples asking who will be the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. This is not the first or last time this subject comes up among the disciples. They are like little children constantly arguing over who Jesus loves most and who will get the biggest prize.

It is not surprising that Jesus uses a child to demonstrate since they are acting like children, but not in the good sense but the wrong behavior.

Then Jesus moves to the Parable of the lost sheep, speaking here of a brother or sister in the church who wanders away and the measures He takes to restore them. Then Jesus turns to the disciples and begins to share what their responsibility is in dealing with a Christian in the church who has sinned. This is where we will begin today. So, look with me at our responsibility when it comes to...

A. Disciplining in the Church, Matthew 18:15-20

A family is not healthy if there is not healthy disciplining taking place when someone in the family does wrong. It is the same with the church. We are also a family and we have a responsibility to each other. When one of us sins, we all suffer from it just like any nuclear family.

Jesus makes it clear that we must act when it is called for to address sin in the church.

Now, keep in mind that not everyone in the church are necessarily Christians. Jesus is talking here about a brother or a sister in Christ.

In the Nazarene church, we entreat our brothers and sisters in Christ to join us in membership and as such, participate in ministry. As members and participating parties in ministry, we become accountable to each other.

People do not usually like the idea of being accountable to each other but there is nothing wrong with this unless we are doing something we shouldn’t. It is healthy to have accountability to others. We are more inclined to stay strong and do right when we have healthy accountability partners.

However, when one of our brothers or sisters in the church do sin, we do not just let it slide. Jesus gives us instructions on how to handle a situation when we become aware of it. There are three steps we are to take to try to rectify the situation.

1. Approach them privately, v 15

This is probably one of the most abused instructions in the Bible. Too often, we begin talking to others first. I admit that I have failed at this myself. However, it is best if we go talk to them alone.

Matthew 18:15 NIV

15 “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over.

We are most likely to succeed if we go humbly and in gentleness. We should always keep in mind that we may have misinterpreted something.

I remember someone from another church once telling someone in our church that our pastor was having an affair because they had seen him. The person they were talking to in our church knew our pastor well and found this hard to believe. They asked for more details and the person said he was out with a tall, attractive, long haired, red head. To which our member said, that is his wife. It turns out that this person had never seen our pastor’s wife. Our pastor was a short man who was not very good looking. They just assumed because this woman was tall and had long red hair, she was not his wife.

When we approach with humility, if we are wrong, we may be a little embarrassed but nothing like we would be if we were more public.

Our humility also allows them to accept what we say in a gracious manner. They are less likely to feel defensive. Now, this does not always work. Some people are always defensive. But it does help in other cases and we have a much better chance of succeeding.

2. Bring one or two witnesses with you, v 16

Matthew 18:16 NIV

16 But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’

Once again, we keep it private. However, we find one or two who we know have witnessed the sin. These need to be respected brothers or sisters of the church. We need to be able to count on their ability to keep things private and yet also give humble assistance. Choose people you know can be gentle and humble who will not acerbate the problem.

Be careful not to just choose two people who will side with you. You need to choose people who have witnessed the issue and check to make sure they see the same problem that you see.

3. Take it to the church, 17

Matthew 18:17 NIV

17 If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.

I do not believe this means we announce it to all the church attenders. Remember, they are not all necessarily Christians and will not understand. It is probably more a situation in our context today of bringing it to the church board. This is the church leadership. They should all be saved and mature Christians if we have chosen them well. They then make the determination. If they still refuse to listen, it says we treat this as a pagan or a tax collector.

Now, this does not mean that we disfellowship them. We just remove them from leadership. We want them to repent and they are more likely to do so if they remain and hopefully grow in their spiritual maturity. However, until they acknowledge the wrong and step away from leadership for a time, they should not be allowed to take a leadership role.

I will not name names, but I struggled when a well known pastor was caught and disciplined for inappropriate behaviors which I will not describe. He said he was sorry, but he refused to be disciplined by stepping down for a time. He just left and started another church. This proved to me that he was not sorry for his sin, he just was upset he got caught.

In most cases like this, the person(s) disciplined leave. When they do, we keep loving them. We try to encourage them and it should be our desire that they will in time understand our love and their sin and will repent and return. I have known cases where this has happened but most often it does not. There is only one situation in which we separate ourselves completely from them and this is the case of divisive behavior. If they are saying or doing things to create division, we are instructed to have nothing to do with them. Look at Titus.

Titus 3:10–11 NIV

10 Warn a divisive person once, and then warn them a second time. After that, have nothing to do with them. 11 You may be sure that such people are warped and sinful; they are self-condemned.

You may think you can tune that part out, but unfortunately, it does settle into your spirit whether you realize it or not. It begins to color what you see, so it is best to have nothing to do with it.

Now, I have not said it until now, but it should not go without saying that each step of this process should be bathed in prayer and perhaps even fasting. We need to remember that we are not in it to win an argument, but to win a brother.

Notice that this is the context of the next two verse which are easily pulled out of context and used incorrectly.

Matthew 18:18–20 NIV

18 “Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. 19 “Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. 20 For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”

There is a connection between the church and the kingdom of heaven. What we allow to take place in our church is tied to God’s kingdom, so we need to protect what we allow to take place in our churches.

At this point in Jesus teaching, Peter asks a question that moves us from the subject of discipline to the concept of forgiveness.

B. How Important is it to Forgive?

Our ability to forgive others is extremely important to our own spiritual health. Jesus has said so, even before now.

Matthew 6:14–15 NIV

14 For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

This sounds pretty straight forward to me.

Now, let us look at Peter’s question.

Matthew 18:21 NIV

21 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”

Do you see where Peter’s focus is at? ME! He seems to assume that people will offend him but he has no notice of what if he offends others. If God is love and our first directive is to love God and others, how can we do so with such a self-focus? This “ME” focus is Peter’s first mistake, but his second mistake is thinking he can measure forgiveness and put a limit on it.

Paul told the Corinthians.

1 Corinthians 13:5 NIV

5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

Peter thought he was generous with 7 times but Jesus trumps this.

Matthew 18:22 NIV

22 Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.

Now, Jesus is not setting a limit but making it clear that there is no limit. Seven was equal to perfection for the Jew. To say 70 - 7 times is like saying infinity.

Jesus, then gives a story (parable) to demonstrate what he means in the kingdom of heaven standard of forgiveness.

A king calls for an audit of his accounts. It is found that one particular servant has embezzled funds of up to 10,000 talents. This would be several million dollars in our world today. The king demands the man, his wife, and children, along with all he owns be sold to repay the debt. To put this in perspective, most people in that day would have to work 20 years to acquire 1 talent. So, even if this man, his wife and children worked the rest of their life, and even with the sale of their belongings, they would never be able to pay this all back.

The man begged the king for leniency vowing he would pay it all back (even though he obviously would never be able to do so). The king being a generous man, took pity on the man and cancelled the debt understanding that he would never be able to repay.

Like most of Jesus parables, this one has an unexpected twist. It turns out that another man owes this man who has been forgiven such an exorbitant debt. You would expect that out of thankfulness he would in turn be forgiving, but that is not what happens. This man also had a servant who owed him 100 denarii. In other words, 100 pennies. That was the equivalent of 100 days of labor. This man not only asked that the debt be repaid, but he demanded it with hands around the man’s throat. When the debtor asked for patience and promised to pay it back, this man had the man thrown into debtors prison until such time as it could be paid back.

What this man did was witnessed by others who knew of the mercy he had been granted and they immediately reported to the king what had taken place. The king was furious that this man did not react in kind and he not only imprisoned this man but had him tortured until the millions could be paid back.

Then comes one of the most chilling things Jesus ever says.

Matthew 18:35 NIV

35 “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”

Reading this is like reading the beatitudes. It is not the action that is as important as what is in the heart. It is not enough to receive God’s forgiveness but we must also experience it in our hearts so that it humbles and gentles us toward others.

The truth is that unforgiveness does not harm the one we have not forgiven as much as it locks us in a prison. It causes us stress, high blood pressure, and we develop trust issues. Trust issues become a wall between us and God as well as others.

This passage is talking specifically about brothers and sisters in the church. But that does not mean it is okay not to forgive others not in the church. Allow me to close with this illustration today.

Conclusion:

10,000 Sermon Illustrations Death Row Inmate

Death Row Inmate

A young man cowered in the corner of a dirty, roach-infested death row cell in a South Carolina prison. His body curled in a fetal position, he seemed oblivious to the filth and stench around him. His name was Rusty, and he was sentenced to die for the murder of a Myrtle Beach woman in a crime spree that left four people dead.

Police arrested twenty-three-year-old Rusty Welborn from Point Pleasant, West Virginia in 1979, following one of the most brutal slayings in South Carolina history. Rusty was tried for murder and received the death penalty for his crime. Bob McAlister, deputy chief of staff to South Carolina’s governor, became acquainted with Rusty on death row. Bob had become a Christian a year or so earlier and felt a strong call from God to minister to the state’s inmates—especially those spending their last days on death row.

Bob’s first look at Rusty revealed a pitiful sight. Rusty was lying on the floor when he arrived, a pathetic picture of a man who believed he mattered to no one. The only signs of life in the cell were the roaches who scurried over everything, including Rusty himself. He made no effort to move or even to brush the insects away. He stared blankly at Bob as he began to talk, but did not respond.

During visit after visit, Bob tried to reach Rusty, telling him of the love Jesus had for him and of his opportunity—even on death row—to start a new life in Christ. He talked and prayed continuously, and finally Rusty began to respond to the stranger who kept invading his cell. Little by little, he opened up, until one day he began to weep as Bob was sharing with him. On that day, Rusty Welborn, a pitiful man with murder and darkness behind him and his own death closing in ahead of him, gave his heart to Jesus Christ.

When Bob returned to Rusty’s cell a few days later, he found a new man. The cell was clean and so was Rusty. He had renewed energy and a positive outlook on life. McAlister continued to visit him regularly, studying the Bible and praying with him. The two men became close friends over the next five years. In fact, McAlister said that Rusty grew into the son he never had, and as for Rusty, he had taken to calling McAlister “Pap.”

Bob learned that Rusty’s childhood in West Virginia had been anything but “almost heaven.” His family was destitute, and Rusty was neglected and abused as a youngster. School was an ordeal both for him and for his teachers. Throughout his junior high years he wore the same two pair of pants and two ragged shirts. Out of shame, frustration, and a lack of adult guidance, Rusty quit school in his ninth grade year, a decision that was to be just the beginning of his troubles. His teenage years were full of turmoil as he was kicked out of his home many times and ran away countless others. He spent the better part of his youth living under bridges and in public rest rooms.

Bob taught Rusty the Bible, but Rusty was the teacher when it came to love and forgiveness. This young man who had never known real love was amazed and thrilled about the love of God. He never ceased to be surprised that other people could actually love someone like him through Jesus Christ. Rusty’s childlike enthusiasm was a breath of fresh air to Bob, who came to realize how much he had taken for granted, especially with regard to the love of his family and friends.

In time Rusty became extremely bothered by the devastating pain he had caused the family and friends of his victim. Knowing that God had forgiven him, he desperately wanted the forgiveness of those he had wronged. Then a most significant thing happened: the brother of the woman Rusty had murdered became a Christian. God had dealt with him for two years about his need to forgive his sister’s killer. Finally, he wrote Rusty a letter that offered not only forgiveness but love in Christ.

Not long before his scheduled execution, this brother and his wife came to visit Rusty. Bob was present when the two men met and tearfully embraced like long-lost brothers finally reunited. Rusty’s senseless crime ten years earlier had constructed an enormous barrier between himself and the brother. The love of Christ obliterated that barrier and enabled both men to realize that, because of Him, they truly were brothers reunited on that day. It was a lesson Bob would not forget.

Not only did Rusty teach Bob McAlister how to love and forgive, he also taught him a powerful lesson about how to die. As the appointed day approached, Rusty exhibited a calm and assurance like Bob had never seen. Only his final day, with only hours remaining before his 1:00 A.M. execution, Rusty asked McAlister to read to him from the Bible. After an hour or so of listening, Rusty sat up on the side of his cot and said, “You know, the only thing I ever wanted was a home, Pap. Now I’m going to get one.”

Bob continued his reading, and after a few minutes Rusty grew very still. Thinking he had fallen asleep, Bob placed a blanket over him and closed the Bible. As he turned to leave he felt a strong compulsion to lean over and kiss Rusty on the forehead. A short time later, Rusty Welborn was executed for murder. A woman assisting Rusty in his last moments shared this postscript to his story: As he was being prepared for his death, Rusty looked at her and said, “What a shame that a man’s gotta wait ‘til his last night alive to be kissed and tucked in for the very first time.”

From Bad Beginnings to Happy Endings, by Ed Young, (Nashville: Thomas Nelson Publ., 1994), pp.

Is the struggle to forgive causing a wall between you and others? If so, you can be assured it is also causing a wall between you and God. Listen to the words of this song. If there are people that come to mind, make the choice in this moment today to forgive them. Ask God for His help. He never requires anything from us that He isn’t there to give us the power to accomplish.

Forgiveness, Matthew West

Pray