Now And Later | Colossians 3:18–4:1

Introduction: If you remember, we talked last week about conduct that is and isn’t fitting for a follower of Jesus Christ. We have to remember that when Paul wrote the letter he wasn’t writing it with the intention of having perfect preachable passages for a youth minister to use 2,000 years later. So what we are looking at tonight, was most likely intended to be a part of the conduct of a believer. And when we first read the passage, some of you are going to want to roll your eyes, but here is why you shouldn’t do that. How many of you hope to one day get married? If not, that’s fine. Paul said it is better to be single if one can avoid falling into temptation because the focus can be on God. But, marriage is also a good thing. As somebody that has been married for almost five years, I highly recommend it. How many of you are children that live with an adult who is responsible for you? How many of you want to one day have kids of your own? Ok, how many of you hope to have a job one day? That’s good. Last one. How many of you hope to maybe own a business or be a supervisor or manager of some type? These relationships that consist within these frameworks are the closest relationships we can have. What we will see tonight is there is a certain way Christians should interact with those closest to them. We will see this in marriage, in parent-child relationships and in the workplace. As always, please stand for the reading of God’s word.

Col 3:18-19.

Exposition: Paul starts the passage with one of the more controversial topics in all of scripture telling wives to submit to their husbands. In today’s era, this is something used by a lot of women for why they cannot accept the Bible as having authority. They say it makes them second class citizens. But there are a number of reasons this isn’t true.

ExplanationFirst, Paul is very clear. He tells wives to he submissive to their husbands. He does not say that women should submit to men everywhere. He tells them their husbands. But we also need to consider this word submit. Paul, in the Greek, does not use the word for obedience. Instead he uses the word for submission. This is a word that gives the voluntary nature of what Paul is conveying. Wives are to voluntarily submit themselves to the leadership of their husband. You may ask them why this is better. It is better because of what Paul says in verse 19.

Exposition: Paul writes in verse 19 Col 3:19 “Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.” In Roman culture men had a tendency to be really hard on their wives. It was not uncommon for them to just lose their temper on their wives. Paul says that this was not acceptable in a Christian household.

Explanation: We also need to shift our understanding of the word love. We are too quick in our society to think of love as just an emotion. All my 7th graders should know the answer to this question. If the way you feel about somebody is based on feelings it’s not love it’s, fill in the blank. Infatuation. Very good. Feelings fade. They can change from day to day. Love is something we demonstrate. In fact, in 1 Cor. 13 Paul tells how love is to be demonstrated. He writes in verses 4-7, 1 Cor 13:4-7 “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” So when Paul tells husbands to love their wives, he is saying that husbands are patient with their wives. this word means forbearance. That means husbands endure all things the wife endures. Husbands treat their wives kindly. Husbands don’t get jealous when things go well for their wives and they don’t brag when things go well for them. Husbands do not act arrogant or rude. Husbands do not insist on their own way. Why do wives in a Christian marriage no worry about the ramifications of submitting to their husbands? Because a part of love is not insisting on one’s own way. A husband is not going to just be my way or the highway. He’s going to seek to please his wife. Even when things are bad a Christian husband does not grow irritated with or resentful of his wife. He wants to see her do well and does not look for her to mess up. These things may seem like no brainers, but there are plenty of unhealthy marriages where this is not the case.

Application: This is so important. Ladies, you are not being asked to submit blindly to a man. You are being asked to submit to somebody who is going to work to serve you and place your own needs and wants above his own. Guys, you are not being asked to just serve without a reward. You are being asked to serve somebody who respects you, trusts you, and will honor your leadership in the home. But most of you are middle schoolers. We have a few high schoolers. But marriage is a long way away for you. Well, it’s not as far as it seems. But as you begin to date, you need to begin to look for people that if you were to one day get married, no matter how far in the future, they would resemble what Paul talks about here. Guys, you should look for girls/women that will honor the leadership God has given you in the home. Ladies, you should look for boys/men that will treat you the way God has commanded a man to treat you. Because this idea of mutual submission is a beautiful thing. But it goes really wrong when one side does not live out his or her side of the bargain. That is why I encourage you to seek out people that have a relationship with Jesus. Keep your standards high. Girls, if a guy is a jerk or has a history of being rude or getting in trouble, stay far away. It might be funny or in some strange way attractive now, but it will not work in the that God has given for marriage.

Transition: Paul then turns his attention away from just husbands and wives. Paul realized that children played a role in the family and the family dynamic. He also realized that the parent-child relationship also had a testimony as well. We see that in what he says in verses 20 and 21.

Col. 3:20-21.

Exposition: Paul then goes on to say something in verse 20 that some of you are not going to like because you really struggle with it. He says for children to obey their parents in everything. He uses the word for obey which carries with and idea of this being mandatory. He then goes on to say this pleases the Lord.

Applicaiton: It’s very important to recognize here that Paul said for children to obey their parents in everything. He didn’t say for children to obey parents in most things. He did not say that they should obey parents when parents are looking. He didn’t say obey parents in everything unless everybody else your age is doing something. He said to obey your parents in everything. And he says it pleases The Lord. Young people, I want you to listen very closely to me right now. Disobeying your parents is not the conduct of a believer in Jesus Christ. Whether it is a parent, grandparent, or some other person, the person that God has placed as an authority in your life, He has done so for a reason. When we disobey that person, we are not just disobeying them. We are disobeying the person that God has placed in your life to fulfill that role. It is a disobedience to God. So when you roll your eyes or do something thinking they will never find out or chose not to do a chore because you don’t want to do it, that is a rejection of God. There’s also this aspect of it too. Have you ever been with a friend when he or she started arguing with his or her parents? Isn’t that one of the more awkward feelings in the world? And most times when we are watching it, we think, “Man, you really shouldn’t talk to your parents like that.” And then when you argue with your parents you don’t think anything about it. It is dishonoring to God to be in an argument with a parent because you did not listen. Our lives should be a reflection to those around us of who God is. Dishonoring him by disobeying your parents is a bad representation of Christ.

Exposition: Paul then goes on to say in Col 3:21 “Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.” Now, the use of the word Fathers here is kind of interesting. Paul is not creating a good cop ba cop situation where the dad can come in and be like, “It’s really ok. We are going to get past this,” and then the mom comes in and is like, “You ungrateful little brat. I can’t believe you would do this after all I do for you. Why don’t you go live in the woods for a few days so you can think about what you have done.” That’s not what he is doing. Instead, he is respecting the leadership the Father has in the home. But this will apply to all of you when you have kids one day. Discipline is a good thing for a child. But being harsh for no reason is not.

Application: Now, Paul does not make this conditional. If a parent is harsh, that does not give a child a right to disobey. I know some of you may come from hard situations where this seems really unfair. It’s important to know that one day you will be an adult and can leave a bad situation. It’s also true we live in a broken world where things go wrong. If you are in an abusive situation, whether verbal, physical or sexual. If a parent is asking you do something that violative of you as a person, Paul is not saying you have to obey them. If this is you. If you are being abused, please come forward and tell somebody and we will get your help.

Verse 20

Obey, a mandatory requirement

Godly children are not disrespectful or disobedient to parents

Verse 21

What kind of parent you will be

Transition: After addressing the family, Paul moved on. This next topic is a little controversial, so I need you to stick with me and let me explain. But when we look at it in context, I think we will see it is relevant to Christians today as well.

Col. 3:22-4:1.

Verses 22-25

Bondservants

Reality of slavery

Paul is not for slavery

Can apply to employees

Whether or not boss is good should not dictate how we work.

Whether or not job is good should not determine how hard we work

Masters

We see Paul gives a stern warning

How do we handle authority

Conclusion: I want to get back to what we talked about in the beginning. Why does this even matter? Paul gives a much more expansive version of this exhortation in Ephesians 5:22-33. In this passage Paul relates marriage to the relationship between God and His Church. If marriage is suppose to demonstrate the love that God has for the Church, being willing to die for the church as Paul points out, how important is it that husbands love their lives well? How important is it that wives respect their husbands? He says in today’s passage that it pleases the Lord for children to obey their parents. That means that it is dishonoring to God when they don’t. It’s not just about being a good child to your parents, it’s about honoring God. Paul warns fathers not to be too harsh on their children so they don’t get discouraged. How important is that responsibility. Paul writes that in whatever we do, do for the Lord. What then does laziness in school or at your job say about your effort towards working for God? And if Paul says for masters, or bosses in today’s context, to treat those under them well because there is a master in heaven, what would treating people poorly say about the respect towards the master in heaven? How we conduct ourselves in these relationships is a message to the world about who Christ is. If we believe that Christ is the Son of God sent to die on a cross for our sins then we should live with that love in mind. We should live in awe of him. But maybe tonight you realize you never have believed. You realize that nobody has ever shown these standards in your life. Maybe you realize now that the model from God is better than what you have experienced. Don’t wait. Come talk to me.