Listening to Others

Walk with Jon, faster running more inconvenience to stop or slow down. (me running literally/ and how we tend to be moving more quickly than we should

I'm trying to be a better listener, pretty bad sometimes

Number of times you've got into trouble for saying nothing... can always say later, can't take it back. (remember our toothpaste last week)

Listen More (Should canes and jon be moved here?)

James 1:19 Everyone must be says be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger.

How can we be QUICK to listen? Speed, run to, might speak juxtapose to our default setting to be quick to respond? Think about my story with running and walking with John

First step to listening more is to talk less

We’ve all heard the criticism “he talks too much.” When was the last time you heard someone criticized for listening too much? Jack Greenberg the former CEO of McDonalds said that the best qualities a leader can have are the ability to listen and to assume the best motive in others.

Let’s maybe do some active response throughout today’s message today. Who would just slip up their hand right now and say I could probably listen more than I do. Step 1 is listening more, step 2 is listening first, let’s look at proverbs 18:13

Listen First - Proverbs 18:13 He who gives an answer before he hears, It is folly and shame to him.

Listening first shows understanding, respect, and mutual benefit. The counterfeit is pretend listening. When we pretend listen, we spend “listening” time thinking about oour reply and just waiting for our turn to speak. Interruption shows disrespect to the one speaking. It draws attention from the person speaking and focuses on the interrupter. It is basically a self-serving, egotistical act. It blatantly states, “What I have to say is more important than what you have to say.”

Answering a matter before it is heard also results in lost information that may be crucial to relationship needs. One of the peculiarities of human nature is that we tend to save the most pertinent information to the last. Did you know I’ve actually learned to pray before I enter difficult conversations that perhaps if I listened first, that the other person might say something that is helpful in making what needs to be communicated come across more gently and clearly. Hearing the other person’s point of view first is important, but from there we can go another step further and listen long…

Listen Long – Proverbs 15:28

The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer, But the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things.

Church we have to learn how respond over react. If we look at our passage, a quick response might even signify a wicked mouth. We cannot afford to speak before we think. (REPEAT) How great it would be if when matters of disagreement arose with our spouse, our child, or our friend, we would say, “I’m not spiritually prepared to discuss this right now. How about we look at it again in a few days.”

Especially when a challenging matter arises, oftentimes a person who is hurt, offended, or confused will almost seem to demand a response from other parties. I think about how a police offer might begin to read someone their rights, one of the things they say is you have the right to remain… (point to people) SILENT. Then they go on to say anything you say can and will be used against you. Didn’t they get this right from the Bible? Even when someone who commits a crime is being pushed by authorities to speak, they might say I’m going to wait on my attorney. And just as an attorney acts as an advocate to a criminal, Jesus acts as an advocate to all of us. If you find yourself in a challenging discussion, when you react quickly rather than responding slowly and thoughtfully, you run the risk of spewing out wickedness, of showing yourself foolish, and allowing pride or self-righteous to win the day over a healthy resolution.

(Slowly) Again just a little opportunity for feedback and confession this morning, how many would say I need to work on not reacting so quickly?

Transition: Last and definitely not least when it comes to listening to others, we must listen with love.

Listen with Love – Galatians 6:1-3 Brethren, even if anyone is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness; each one looking to yourself, so that you too will not be tempted. 2 Bear one another’s burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ. 3 For if anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself.

Too often we throw around high level Christian principles without talking about what it really means to exhibit those principles. We say things like be more loving, have more faith, claim His peace… but we need practical ways in which we do these things.

…So for today what does it mean to be more loving in the way we listen with love.

Verse 1, says hear confession, what does it say next? tell the pastor? the staff? the board? and your study group to pray for them? NO! Hear confession and understand that one who is confessing is moving towards repentance, and gentleness must be our primary goal. Not only that, but there is also a crucial lesson for us to move towards maturity here, verse 1 says consider how you could fail in the same way. What if instead of judging others who sin, we use it as an opportunity to say, “God help me to be sure that I am guarding against this sin.” We have blind spots, and just like the confessing person might have thought they would never fall in that area, we should consider the reality that we are just as capable of failing as well.

Verse 2 says Listening in love…alleviates others pain. Galatians 6:2 says bear one another’s burdens. This literally means to take something difficult that someone is carrying and to carry it yourself. Do you know how many people feel the weight or anxiety of an issue lifted, just because they know they aren’t alone in the situation? Going back to my time walking with John, I truly got a sense that he was able to essentially release some of the load he was carrying simply because he was able to share it with me. And when it comes to pastoral counseling, I can’t tell you how many times people have come into my office and left some time later thanking me for counseling them, when I said nothing at all. Every single one of us has the power to encourage others simply by listening.

Transition: A 3rd and wonderful reminder from this passage on listening found in verse 3 simply reminds us that no one likes a know it all. Someone who thinks they are something when they are nothing, this passage says deceives themselves. In other words, you think more highly of yourself than others think of you. People want other people to care for them, and listen to them, not to fix them. Husbands if you still haven’t got the message, when your wife shares her burdens with you, she doesn’t need you to come up with all the answers, she needs you to listen to her and let her know she’s understood. Just a little sidebar as it relates to our marriages but many other areas as well… Almost always, Arguing is a losing proposition. (REPEAT) Someone has said there is no way to win an argument, even if you win, you lose. Arguing is one of the most psychologically damaging of behaviors. It leaves the participants emotionally exhausted and mentally depressed. Seldom is an issue settled through argument, which means the problem still hangs over our head, now heavier than ever. Listening with love helps us examine ourselves, alleviate other’s pain, and present ourselves humbly before others.

RESPONSE: (CALL TEAM)

Let’s talk about how we respond today, Are we listening enough? Are we listening first? Are we listening long enough? Are we listening with love? This might not be the altar filling sermon today, wasn’t intended to be. It was one for us to consider that how we listen, or don’t listen to others might just truly reflect how much we love, respect, and care for that individual. Let’s take the next few moments to just ask the Spirit how He would have us consider the way we listen to each other and how we could grow in this area of our life.

PRAYER WORSHIP OFFERING, During offering. Talk about 7k, cashapp, check, etc., Next week Hermiz, then listening to God.

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