Me We Us 4 (Marriage)

Introduction

We are in our last week of our series on relationships. My prayer is that this series has given you a lot to think, dwell, and pray on and provided some Biblical sources to help encourage you in your relationships and relationship building.

All of this has culminated in our last message in the series and today we talk about marriage. No one with a sane mind would attempt to talk about marriage and only spend one week. But here we are.

I am not naive enough to think I can cover all that scripture has for us on the topic of marriage and that is not my goal today. I know many are worried after my 50 minute sermon last week. I will not keep you that long today just maybe 49 minutes.

My goal today is to speak directly to KCC and what will encourage us in marriages and how we can minister to marriages in the world and community around us.

Marriage is an institution given to us by God. Contrary to popular belief, it is not a man made thing. Yes the governments role and involvement, the tax codes, and all of that is man made. They arent wrong or sinful, they are cultural issues different depending on where you live.

But nonetheless, God intended for one man to be married to one woman, for life, and to procreate and fill the land with more men and women to be married and procreate and fill the land. You get the point.

The New International Version Chapter 19

4 “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ v 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

Scripture can not get any clearer than this. We have tried to skirt around this and look, the threat against marriages is no longer from outside the church. They are right inside the “chruch” walls now. Homosexual and transexual “pastors” fill pulpits and spread lies and twist scripture and have become a mouthpiece for Satan himself.

We began to compromise marriages centuries ago and we are paying the consequences of that today.

Here is a list of truths that we will never compromise on here at KCC

Marriage is between one man and one woman.

Divorce is not created by God, but it is a result of broken people in a broken world.

God created two genders with unique giftings and purpose.

Your family is your first and most important ministry.

Sin outside of marriage is no more offensive to God than sin inside marriage.

Homosexual and twisted gender marriage is an offense to God as it is a direct rejection of his creation. Only a man and woman can procreate and that is the intended design for marriage. It has never been God’s will and never will be.

Having that said. We are not placing war on homosexuals and gender agendas. Are war is not with those who disagree with us. Your only option as a believer is to love those who disagree with you.

That doesnt mean you celebrate or welcome sin. It doesnt mean you condone sinful behavior. This is a big area the church has failed and allowed sin to infiltrate the church.

We have confused love with acceptance. We have confused grace with tolerance.

So you say alright TJ. Thats easy for you to say from there (no actually its not easy) but how do we reckon this Biblical truth and standard AND live in a world where that truth is offensive.

First of all, you need to answer the question. Is the institution of marriage and the family important to God and the Church. Yes it absolutely is.

But you must also ask the question, does God love those who are homsexual and transgender and that answer is yes.

Scripture tells us that it is Gods desire that none should perish and all would believe in Him.

Loving someone does not mean you have to accept their actions.

Now this is not a sermon on what marriage is not but I felt it important to make sure we establish our churches stance on this matter early

THE BEST WAY YOU CAN STRENGTHEN MARRIAGES IN YOUR COMMUNITY IS TO STRENGTHEN YOUR OWN

I am convinced this is so true about so many things in our lives. It is so easy for us to look at our community and look at the news, listen to podcasts, and look at social media and analyze everyone else’s marriage without looking at our own.

The words of Jesus ring true from Matthew 7:3 why do you worry about the speck in your brothers eye and ignore the beam in your own eye.

Let me let you on a little secret about preaching and specifically preaching on marriage. Scripture tells us that it is an honorable thing to teach but it is a very difficult thing to do and should not be stepped into lightly as you will be judged harshly.

Practicing what you preach is very very difficult. You better believe this week I have paid more attention to my shortcomings as a husband and ways that I can improve.

As we have discussed every week in this is that relationships are a gift from God and they are to point you to God. All relationships and especially your marriage.

Why will I not marry a non-believer to a believer. 1 Scripture says so. 2. That is not what marriage is for. An unbeliever can not point you to God.

So today we will spend the rest of our time with three guarantees on how to strengthen your marriage.

Number one

MAKE IT A GOAL TO POINT YOUR SPOUSE TO JESUS EACH DAY

The New International Version Chapter 5

21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church—30 for we are members of his body.

Did you know the verse wives submit to your husbands is not an actual verse in the Bible..... whoah. Im sort of kidding. It indeed is implied but let me explain.

Verse 21 says what Submit to one another out of reverence to Christ. Who is one another. That is everyone, specifically the church he was writing to. Just as he says in philipians. Put others before yourself.

But then it further explains this role in marriage. The verb is not in the verse but it is understood to continue the verb, so it would read like this. Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, unto your husbands as you do to the lord.

So if i look at my kids go clean your room. Tripp your clothes. emma your baby dolls and cannon your cars. It is understood I am telling them ALL to clean but then I brokeit down and instructed on what specifically to do.

What is not unclear. let me repeat. what is not unclear. Is this. The husband is to be the head of the household.

Imagine with me for a second. If I could snap my finger and every man that was a father was properly leading and heading their household. How many things do you think would improve overnight. Now I know these men would still be human and their would be faults.

But so many issues in this country specifically root from the man leaving his role to lead his household. Not with fear and an iron fist but. But with godliness, love, compassion, nurturing, and discipleship. All the fruits of the spirit.

Look I dont blame women for resenting men. The 1900s model of the man leading was telling a woman to stay in her place, sit back, drink a bear, yell at the kids, and go to sleep. Who wants to be married to a grizzly bear. Go find a cave and stay there

So men, I have said these are guarantees, guarantees to strengthen your marriage. But God expects and I expect it to start with you. You are the head of the home.

STORY WITH RACHEL AND PUSHING HER TO FAITH OVER FEELINGS

Pray with your spouse. Pray for your spouse. Be not just physically intimate with her but spiritually intimate with one another.

Take each opportunity to point your spouse to Jesus.

This whole section in ephesioans is clear Christ is the anchor. Carry each other to the cross when they cant walk there themselves.

IF YOU DO NOT MAKE THE DECISION TO IMPROVE YOUR MARRIAGE TODAY, YOU HAVE MADE THE DECISION TO WEAKEN YOUR MARRIAGE TODAY

We are coming up on one of my favorite seasons. Basbeball season. I love baseball and always have. Unfortunately, for the most part it hasnt always loved me back. When October ends and the world series is over it is a sad day. But you know what the greats do? they never stop.

Each and every day, they are working, they are making adjustments.

What would happen if they just stopped and waited to grab a bat or ball for when the first game happened. They would be behond. they would be out of shape. their timing would be off and they would ultimately lose their position.

SO what happened. They were jsut fine a few months ago? Thats not how life works.

When milk is put in a glass, go drink it again in 24 hours and then get back to me.

Your marriage is the same way.

It is so easy to get rapped up in good morning kiss, work hello, how was work kiss, tv, goodnight kiss, repeat.

That will not sustain your marriage. Im preaching to myself here but sometimes we need some one to lookat us and say , HEY MAKE AN EFFORT”

...........

The New International Version Chapter 5

31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”

Genesis, Ephesians, Matthew. All places that talk about the 2 becoming 1. This what happens in marriage. If you dont take care of her then you arent taking care of you, if you dont take care of him you arent taking care of you.

The third and final guarantee to strengthen your marriage is this.

FIND INTENTIONAL WAYS TO SERVE THE KINGDOM TOGETHER

If in the course of a marriage, serving the church, or serving God, becomes “her thing” or “his thing”. It will not last.

Can you imagine if I looked at rachel almost two years ago and said. Hey tomorrow we are planting a church. Just thought I should let you know, end of discussion. Imagine how that would go. Or even worse if she was like sure knock youself out. Ill be doing my own career thing.

We would not have made it past the first month. It has taken great sacrifice from not just me but equally her. Yes it has been difficult but I can tell you this and I mean this. I promise you I stand before you today and tell no lies. My marriage the last 2 years has never been stronger. Through the how will we pay for this and what will we do about that. We have been through it together and God has used this incredible calling to strengthen us together. If your wife sings, does childcare, hosts for small groups, find ways to serve with her and support her. Find somewhere to pull on the same rope. Ladies do the same for your husbands.

Find ways to serve together. Find things to do for JEsus.

The triangle.........

Close with weddings discussion and the beautiful picture of marriage