How Do We Begin Again?

He is desperate, with certainly more questions than answers. Nicodemus is a man of God’s law. He is a teacher, a leader of the Jews. He is a member of the Sanhedrin, which is kinda like our General Conference in the UMC, the governing body for Judaism.

But something was happening with Nicodemus. These things he was hearing about Jesus didn’t add up. It was unlike anything he knew of God, and yet all of these miracles could only be a work of God. Nicodemus had more questions than answers. He had to talk to Jesus. His spirit has been stirring and he has to get this cleared up. Maybe he didn’t want to risk being seen by other members of the Sanhedrin. And so in the darkness, Nicodemus makes his way to Jesus. Some say he was a “secret disciple.”

He comes to Jesus and calls him Rabbi, which means teacher. Nicodemus places himself in the posture of a student and says “we know that you are a teacher who has come from God; for no one can do these signs apart from the presence of God.”

Ok, time for Jesus to fill in the blanks, to make it clear.

But Jesus says, “Very truly, I tell you, no one can see the kingdom of God without being born from above.”

Well this conversation took a turn. Nicodemus is trying to figure out who Jesus is and Jesus starts talking about being born from above.

And I could just see him going “What are you talking about?” He says, “How can this be?” The Chosen series has a wonderful scene of this encounter that I encourage you to check out. Nicodemus’s character looks at Jesus and says, “well I certainly hope you’re not suggesting we return to the womb, because I love my mother god rest her soul, but that would never work.”

Nicodemus is now even more confused. How can one be born a second time? We hear this phrase “born again” so much that I feel we sometimes lose the significance and shock of what it must have been to the ears of this religious leader.

Suddenly all that he thought he knew about God was shifting. Born again? Born from above? What do you mean?

Jesus says, “No one can enter the kingdom of God without being born of water and Spirit. What is born of flesh is flesh. But what is born of Spirit is Spirit. “

Now Nicodemus is even more confused, and I kinda wanna say “I’m with you Nic at night. That’s a lot. “ I can see him throwing up his hands and looking confused and saying “How can this be? How is all of this even possible?”

Jesus responds, “How is it you are a teacher of the law and you do not understand these things?” I love Jesus’ sarcasm here. Jesus says you are having trouble believing what you see here on earth, how can you possible believe the things of heaven?

Nicodemus is now even more lost than when he arrived. His questions have only led to more questions. He is in the dark. He keeps trying to make Jesus make sense. He is supposed to be the teacher. He is supposed to know. But now he is listening to Jesus talk about being born again, the spirit blowing where it chooses, and the Son of Man being lifted up. How can this be?

Then Jesus says those words. Those famous words. “For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him may not perish but have eternal life. Indeed, God did not send the Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.”

How is all of this possible? How do we begin again?

Suddenly the wall of faith Nicodemus had built looked different. All of his questions fell to the floor around the words “for God so loved the world that he gave his only Son.”

How could someone who knew so much all of a sudden feel like he knew so little? Like he was starting all over again. When I went to seminary, everyone was always asking me what I was learning. It felt a bit like drinking from a fire hydrant but I would always say, “the more I learn, the less I know.” I had to start over.

Nicodemus was reexamining his faith. I wonder if it felt like learning to walk in the dark. Barbara Brown Taylor wrote a book by this title in which she said “new life starts in the dark. Whether it is a seed in the ground, a baby in a womb, or Jesus in the tomb, it starts in the dark.”

Nicodemus kept trying to make sense out of Jesus. Don’t we do that too? We want there to be logic to love and a formula to our faith. But when we come face to face with the God who so loved the world, all the other gods we have settled for suddenly no longer fit.

Gregory Boyle says “at one time or another, we all had a version of God that was rigid…but as we grow, we learn to steer clear of the wrong God.If our God makes us feel unworthy and in debt, wrong God. If God frightens us, wrong God. If God is endlessly disappointed in us, wrong God.” He says “it is hard for us to believe in the nonjudgmental, loving, and merciful God, and yet, that is the God we actually have.”

Gregory says “We ask ourselves, what can move the dial on God’s love for us? Nothing. It is always at its highest setting... God never has second thoughts about loving us. Never.”

How do we begin again? We begin with the God we actually have, the God who so loved the world.

Over the past few weeks, I have had the complete joy of joining some precious ladies from across the street at Iuka Baptist to go visit the ladies at the jail.

I don’t think anything could have prepared me for this experience. I have only been three times but I have shared Communion with them. I have smeared their foreheads with ashes. This week we sang loudly and clapped our hands and stomped our feet. And we laughed! And it sounded like something was being broken open, like a release, like beginning again.

While we were sharing, one lady was struggling with the love of God for herself. I came up to her after and said “I don’t know your story, but I know that God never has second thoughts about loving you. Never.”

When we come face-to- face with the God who so loved the world, all the other gods don’t cut it anymore. The one who tells you you’re not enough. The one that says you dumb. The one who says you are hopeless. The one who always rubs your sin in your face.

But the God who so loved the world never has second thoughts about loving you. Never. The God who sent his Son just so you would know that, just so you would have eternal life, is the only one that fits. Eternal life. Yes it is life that never ends. But it isn’t just quantity we are talking about. It is quality. It is the joy and delight of your life in God in the present.

To be born of the Spirit. To begin again. How can this be?

Nicodemus only appears two more times after this conversation with Jesus. We see him once when the chief priests are trying to get Jesus arrested in John 7:45-53. There’s one line in which Nicodemus speaks up in Jesus’ defense suggesting that no one should be arrested without a hearing first.

Then the last time we see him is in the burial of Jesus in John 19:38-42. He comes with Joseph of Arimathea, bringing with him 100 lbs of spices and ointment to anoint the body.

The man who sought Jesus at night now anoints his body during the day. I wonder what all went through his mind as he cared for the body. I wonder if his mind went back to that night.

You must be born again.

For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son.

For God so loved the world that he gave.

For God so loved.