Elvis Was Right

But my favorite title is “The Prayer of Jabez: A Strategic Spiritual Warfare Prayer for Personal and Family Deliverance from the Kingdom of Darkness, Ancestral Bondage, Spiritual Mapping and Dangerous Decrees to Destroy Your Destroyers with Prayer Points to Praying Out God’s Promises.”

Perhaps you’ve read it?

Me either.

In case you have no idea what I’m talking about, let me read to you the story of Jabez from 1 Chronicles 4:9-10

1 Chronicles 4:9–10 ESV

Jabez was more honorable than his brothers; and his mother called his name Jabez, saying, “Because I bore him in pain.” Jabez called upon the God of Israel, saying, “Oh that you would bless me and enlarge my border, and that your hand might be with me, and that you would keep me from harm so that it might not bring me pain!” And God granted what he asked.

Jabez obviously was special because this snippet about Jabez interrupts the genealogy of Judah in Chronicles.

But it’s only two verses out of the 31,000 verses in the Bible.

And for a while, we were tempted to construct our entire prayer life and what we expected God to do around those two verses.

People get weird ideas.

We find something that really rings in our ears and we latch onto it.

And we make our religious world revolve around it.

We make it the centerpiece of our worldview.

Remember last week, that’s what some of the Corinthian’s did.

“All things are lawful to me,” - Paul taught them that.

Forget context, those where his words.

So that opened the door for them to do whatever they wanted because

Whatever they did wouldn’t affect their relationship with God.

And whatever they did wouldn’t affect their soul.

We spent all last week walking through how Paul said “that’s not what I meant.”

But this week, we find out there is more to the story.

It seems that one of the reasons men were frequenting the local ladies of the night was because they had misapplied something else Paul said that profoundly affected their marriages.

Something small they grasped hold of and made their whole world revolve around it.

And they made a mess.

Turn with me to 1 Corinthians 7:1-9.

If you are joining by live stream, we pray the Lord has blessed you already today.

If you are visiting with us today, what you see is what you get.

We take a book of the Bible and we work through it a line at a time.

If it takes us to uncomfortable places, we go there anyway because the Bible is God’s Word.

It’s His revelation of Himself to us.

There’s something here he wants us to talk about.

And today, He wants us to talk about sex.

Following Jesus is insanely practical.

His Word to us is much plainer and un-nuanced that we expect it to be

Or try to make it out to be.

What Paul talks about in our text today is built on just that premise.

People are taking things out of context and making strange teaching and practices and they are hurting themselves and they are hurting other people.

Paul corrects them with the simple, practical gifts of a gracious and loving Lord.

Hear now the Word of the Lord from 1 Corinthians 7:1-9

1 Corinthians 7:1–9 ESV

Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. Now as a concession, not a command, I say this. I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am. But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

This is the Word of the Lord,

and we thank the Lord for it.

Let’s pray:

Lord, our world has gone sex crazy and yet we shy away from the topic in the church.

Help us today to discuss your Word tastefully and truthfully.

Help me to be bold yet sensitive saying nothing that would bring dishonor on you.

Forgive me my sins, that nothing will hinder your Word from your People.

In Jesus’ name, Amen.

If you have children, or in-laws, when is the last time a commercial or a program on television has embarrassed you?

My first job was at a drug store and we kept certain products behind the counter with the druggist.

Now they are advertised on television.

“What is that, daddy?” our kids say.

“Here, have a cookie,” because we are embarrassed.

Our culture is sex crazed.

Each person is looking for the best, most euphoric physical sensation that they can find.

It wasn’t that long ago that we’d point that conversation to marriage - but society has developed an allergy to God.

So now it’s all what you feel.

On one website, it said there are 93 genders in 2023.

That’s 93 representative people saying that the way they experience the most euphoric physical sensation is through the style of their gender as they understand it.

And tomorrow their gender might change because what they recieved didn’t live up to the experience they anticipated.

I know that’s over simplified to an extent - but not too much.

Sex is an extremely powerful compulsion - if not the most powerful drive we have as humans.

And when sex is addressed outside God’s design, it motivates people to do wildly insane things.

You’ve seen some of those things on the news lately, haven’t you?

And maybe even in person, too, right?

So had the Corinthians.

And in stark contrast to the one’s who were in the “If it feels good do it,” crowd there was another group.

1 Corinthians 7:1 “Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.””

And just like people grabbed onto the Prayer of Jabez as their way to gain God’s favor.

They grabbed onto this sentence and made it a rule.

So one or both partners renounced sex as ungodly, as bad, as nasty, as wrong and they removed sex from their marriage.

Or did they?

How do you think that worked out for the couple?

What did we say - the sex drive is extremely powerful.

Paul dealt with this at the end of chapter 6.

If a person is not gifted with celibacy, they will find a way to express themselves sexually.

And if it isn’t with their spouse, it will be somewhere.

Listen to Paul 1 Corinthians 7:2-4 “But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.”

Now before we dig into this, let me say this about that.

If you use the New International version, verse 4 says that the husband and wife “yield” their authority to the other.

The New Living Translation says that the husband and the wife “gives” the authority over their bodies to the other.

Neither the word “yield” nor the word “give” are in the Greek.

The ESV is the best rendering here and let me explain why I think so.

This is kind of technical, but if you can follow it, I think it will at the very least make you think.

And at best, maybe make your marriage a bit better.

I really do - I think it will help you understand your marriage just a little bit better.

We talked about last week the Hebrew concept of personhood.

That we are spirit, soul and body as Paul says in 1st Thessalonians - or mind, body and soul as we westerners say.

But where the Corinthians - and us - think that we can do things with our bodies that don’t affect our souls,

The Hebrews would never buy into that.

They may be spirit, soul and body, but they all make up the person.

Think about this - there will be a bodily resurrection, right? We believe that.

Why?

Why not simply let us be disembodied spirits for all time?

Because we are more than that.

We were created with a body - we are not whole without a body.

And what we do with our bodies affects our spirit and soul.

We are a unity.

You cannot do something with your body that doesn’t have an effect on your spirit and soul.

Are you with me so far?

Now, go back to the Genesis text we read earlier in the service?

Why did Adam celebrate when he saw Eve?

First, while Adam was created to enjoy and glorify the Lord, he was also created to be in physical relationship.

In the creation story, the Lord led every animal to Adam to be named and...

And, to prove to Adam that nothing apart from himself would ever satisfy his hunger for a relationship.

So, when God brought Eve to Adam after creating her from his body.

Adam didn’t go “Hubba, hubba”

Adam said, “This is at last bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh.”

She is a part of me and I am a part of her.

God puts the exclamation mark on that with Genesis 2:24

Genesis 2:24 ESV

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

Now, now, I told you this was technical - but we’re smart, spirit filled people and we can get this.

If they were one flesh - what else were they?

Being a unified being, they were one mind and one spirit as well - one soul and spirit to use Paul’s words.

Two distinct personalities, absolutely.

But one person.

Are you following me?

Stay with me here, ok?

Jesus said in Matthew 22:39

Matthew 22:39 ESV

And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.

Listen, listen, you have the authority to love yourself, right?

Of course you do.

What does Godly self love look like?

Well, I properly groom myself.

I properly feed myself.

I make sure I follow the Lord with everything I’ve got.

I read my Bible, I pray so I can learn more about the Lord and grow closer to the Lord.

I work hard to support myself.

I work hard to keep a good reputation among my neighbors.

To the best of my ability, I do my best to not harm people around me.

Right - more than that, but that’s a good start.

That’s Godly self love.

And if my spouse and I are one in body, spirit and soul

I now have the authority to love her the same way I love myself.

I now have the authority to love him the same way I love myself.

The furthest thing from the meaning of verse four is some guy yelling at his wife, “I don’t care how you feel, woman, tonight’s the night.”

Or some wife yelling at her husband, “I don’t care that this was the worst day of your life, I have needs too.”

Paul would be repulsed by such an idea.

Paul is saying that a husband and a wife have the full authority to love their spouse like they love themselves.

With the same tenderness and care.

With the same desire to satisfy as well as to be satisfied.

Sex is a blessing - it is a benefit of marriage.

And by God’s design, it is best enjoyed in marriage.

Anything outside of marriage is contrary to God’s design.

It is sin and it will take you places where you don’t want to go.

Now look at verses 5 and 6: 1 Corinthians 7:5-6 “Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. Now as a concession, not a command, I say this.”

Let me explain this by paraphrasing it.

Because some of you feel you need “time away” from each other to pray and re-center on the Lord, I will give you this permission.

Discuss it with your spouse and, by agreement take a very limited time away from each other, so you can devote yourselves to prayer.

But don’t make it too long.

Satan would love nothing better than to ruin your standing as a Christian in the community and to wreck your marriage.

Your desire for physical intimacy is strong and if you wait too long, the devil will use it against you.

That’s what Paul is saying - take a minute, but don’t take too long.

Paul in no way is saying that sex is dirty or bad.

Paul does not say it is the man’s prerogative and the woman’s duty.

Sex is a gift from God to be enjoyed within the confines of marriage for both procreation and for pleasure.

Remember what Paul says in Ephesians 5 that marriage “refers to Christ and the church.”

There is nothing in Jesus’ relationship to His church that is sinful, dirty or bad.

Jesus didn’t put anything into our marriages that are sinful, dirty or bad either.

Finally, let’s look at 1 Corinthians 7:7-9 “I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am. But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.”

“I wish that all were as I myself am.” What was Paul?

He was single and he was celibate.

Celibate in this context means that Paul has no physical desire to be sexual with a woman.

And I guess I have to add in our culture, he has no physical desire to be sexual with any person or thing.

His desire was for the Lord.

His single minded focus was preaching the good news of Jesus’ death, burial and resurrection as far as he could

To as many as he could when ever he could.

But notice what he says about his celibacy.

“But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.”

There is a theology of singleness here, isn’t there?

Some people, men and women, are gifted by the Holy Spirit

It’s not personal temperament or personal desire

It’s a gift of the Holy Spirit

To be single and celibate for the purpose of following the Lord.

Everybody wants to get single people married and if they want to get married, great.

But maybe, just maybe they know that they don’t want to be married.

That the Spirit has gifted them with a desire for Jesus and nothing more.

Maybe they know - and maybe we should leave them alone when they tell us that.

Paul says to the “unmarried and widows” which is really a way of saying to the “widowers and widows” it would be great for you to be single just like me.

And to work for the kingdom just like me.

If that is your gift.

Now how do you know whether celibacy is your gift or not?

“For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.”

Or, as the great philosopher Elvis Presley sings seven times back to back in the same song, if you are “Just a hunk, a hunk of burning love,”

You ain’t got the gift kid.

And there is nothing wrong with that.

Marriage is a gift - celibacy is a gift.

Now, one last thing but it’s real important considering the times and morals in which we live.

When Paul says 1 Corinthians 7:9 “For it is better to marry than to burn with passion,” he is not merely telling young people to marry.

With this verse Jesus is saying to us, if you have sinned sexually.

If you haven’t controlled your passions - if you aren’t controlling your passions.

There is forgiveness in repenting and doing the right thing.

You are not damaged goods - shoot - everybody I know is damaged goods in one way or another.

You are not so far gone, you have not sinned large enough

That Jesus - the creator and sustainer of all things

You’ve not sinned so large that Jesus can’t make you clean.

I’ve been asked, “why do you marry people who have been living together? They already have kids - that’s not God’s way.

Why do you do that?

Why?

Because when the Lord leads someone to do things His ways, I’m going to go there with them.

No one can sin large enough that Jesus can’t make them new again.

Listen,

Jesus lived a perfect life which you and I could never do.

He died a horrible death on a cross to take on the full measure of the Father’s wrath - something we never want to do.

But then Jesus walked out of a grave having been stone cold dead - to live a new life - so that we could have the new live we so desperately need.

Is any sin you have committed more powerful than returning from the dead?

Jesus can cleanse you.

Jesus can heal your heart.

Jesus can make you new.

He’s calling out to you right now.

How do I know that?

Because you are here and He told me to tell you.

Let us pray:

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