Marriage (pt. 1)
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Gate Keepers
Gate Keepers
Intro:
Thanks to Rusty and Christa, Jeremy and Terry
Brief History Here
Winters were so cold here I decided to go Bible school
Went to Bible school
Sarah and are celebrating 8 years of marriage this year
4 kids all under 7
We do not sleep
Our marriage in the beginning
Prideful
Thought we had it all figured out
We didn’t have a defense system put up in our lives
There were no boundaries spiritual, emotionally, no boundaries with our mouths
We found the life we created was crumbling around us
What we thought was making us happy was causing division between us
We were easy targets to the enemy
Everything in the world wants to separate the Marriage union
We believe for America to be strong:
The church has to be strong
For the Church to be strong
Our families have to be strong
We have to be strong leaders in our Family
The enemy knows that if he can get in between a married couple and get them fighting on separate fronts
When you start to feel distance between you and your spouse know that it’s a ploy of the enemy
1 The words of Nehemiah the son of Hachaliah.
It came to pass in the month of Chislev, in the twentieth year, as I was in Shushan the citadel, 2 that Hanani one of my brethren came with men from Judah; and I asked them concerning the Jews who had escaped, who had survived the captivity, and concerning Jerusalem. 3 And they said to me, “The survivors who are left from the captivity in the province are there in great distress and reproach. The wall of Jerusalem is also broken down, and its gates are burned with fire.”
So The city is in ruins:
The walls have crumbled
The gates are destroyed
people are scattered
Much like our marriage in the beginning we were scattered putting fires out all around us
Distracted
4 So it was, when I heard these words, that I sat down and wept, and mourned for many days; I was fasting and praying before the God of heaven.
5 And I said: “I pray, Lord God of heaven, O great and awesome God, You who keep Your covenant and mercy with those who love You and observe Your commandments, 6 please let Your ear be attentive and Your eyes open, that You may hear the prayer of Your servant which I pray before You now, day and night, for the children of Israel Your servants, and confess the sins of the children of Israel which we have sinned against You. Both my father’s house and I have sinned.
Notice that other people saw the problem
But no one did anything about it
In our marriage sometimes we look at the problems and say why don’t they figure it out?
We are the ones that have to do something
Others saw the problem and Nehemiah did something about it
Do something about it
Gatekeepers of our Marriages:
SARAH:
A Gate isn't just an opening, its a LEGAL ACCESS point. In history, Gates were places of battle. Victory and defeat was decided at the gates. Gates are places of authority and decision making. Access is granted or denied. This is how we are to operate in our marriage. We are the gatekeepers. Like it or not, everything has to pass through us to get into our lives. So if you’re seeing things in your marriage that isn’t reflecting God’s promises-you need to take a spiritual look and see what gates you’ve left unattended. Because as Christians, God has given us EVERYTHING for life and godliness. But we have to as 1 Corinthians 16 says- BE ALERT and STAND FIRM in faith.
4 Areas we have to be gate keepers in our marriages:
1. Our Sprit
Sarah:
Do you realize that your spirit is your responsibility?
It’s not your pastors job, your friends job or your spouses’.
28 Whoever has no rule over his own spirit
Is like a city broken down, without walls.
The Bible likens the person who does not control their own spirit as being like a city with walls that have tumbled down. That makes the city defenceless so it is vulnerable to any attack. In the same way, if we don’t ‘take care’ of or ‘rule’ our own spirit, we are like a city with cracks in our foundations and breaches in our fortifications, open to every kind of attack imaginable.
Sunday morning church can’t be the premise of youre relationship with Jesus.
When I stand before God, I wont be giving account for Joel’s spirit and what he did or didn’t do. It will be just me and the Father. And I want to to reconize His voice when I see him. And the incredible thing is we can. We have FULL ACCESS to the King of Kings and Lord of lords RIGHT NOW. He’s waiting to reveal hidden mysteries to us-but it takes us discIplining our spirit and making our highest priorIty in life TO KNOW HIM.
Joel:
Talking to the men in this room:
Natural authority comes through spiritual responsibility
As men we want the submission without carrying the spiritual responsibility
22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
Why was Jesus the head of the Church?
Cause God put him there? No
Cause laid his life down
As men we want natural authority without laying our lives down for our bride
We walk in a different authority when our lives are laid down
Submission through force is only temporary
Joel:
2. We have to be gatekeepers of our soul: mind, will and emotions
Not only sin or making a covenant with our eyes
But our mind can’t be stayed on our insecurities
Sarah:
3 You will keep him in perfect peace,
Whose mind is stayed on You,
Because he trusts in You.
What is your mind stayed upon?
2 Corinthians 10:5 “5 casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ,”
We have to be so VIGILANT with our thought life. thoughts are seeds that will eventually bear fruit. Good OR bad.
Joel:
2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.
Sarah
Not only renew our mind to the things of God
But renew our mind to the thoughts we think about our spouse! We believe the best of each other.
Joel:
I Corinthians 13:7-8
7 Love bears all things [regardless of what comes], believes all things [looking for the best in each one], hopes all things [remaining steadfast during difficult times], endures all things [without weakening] 8 Love never fails [it never fades nor ends]. But as for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for the gift of special knowledge, it will pass away.
Joel: The ring Story!
I wasn’t believing the best in Sarah
I was filtering my thought life through the filter of Love
Love doesn’t keep score
And it doesn’t take into account suffered wrongs
Martyr syndrome
Sarah:
Colter story
Ladies. Your emotions can be in the car but they cant drive. Your emotions are God-given and are for enhancing your relationships. But cannot STEER our lives.
Be gatekeepers of what we allow into our hearts
Joel:
3. We have to be Gatekeepers of our mouths
You never truly know someone until you’ve seen them angry
Proverbs 18:21 (Amp)
Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it and indulge it will eat its fruit and bear the consequences of their words.
What are you speaking over your kids
Sarah:
11 So shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth;
It shall not return to Me void,
But it shall accomplish what I please,
And it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it.
Proverbs 12:14 “14 A man will be satisfied with good by the fruit of his mouth, And the recompense of a man’s hands will be rendered to him.”
We have what we say. Good or bad. God set the foundations or the world with His words. We set the foundation of our marriage through ours!
4. Gatekeepers of our time
As married couples we have to be protective of our time
We have to guard who and where we spend our time
The world suffers from the idolatry of business
The world tells you that business=importance
God set up the as an example for us
27 And He said to them, “The Sabbath was made for man, and not man for the Sabbath.
Rest was made for us to examine and reflect on what God has done for us
The traditional Jewish Sabbath (Shabbat) is from sundown on Friday-Saturday sundown.
Don’t make the Sabbath Lawful(example)
Not only as Christians but as couples you need to protect time for yourselves
Absence makes the heart grow distance lol
God designed there to be a balance between work and rest
The number one key to guarding your time is being intentional
-SET THINGS ON A CALaNDER
Intentional sabbath:
Stop work:
be prepared
set up plans in advance
get things done ahead of schedule
eliminate distractions
2. Worship:
Take time to reflect on what God is doin in your lives
Take time to worship God and be thankful
Create an atmosphere of worship in your home
3. Be together
go on a date
have dinner with the family
communicate!
Summary:
Our Spirit
Our Soul
Our Mouths
Our Time
Sarah’s Word:
Pray for People: